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LI  B  R.AFIY 

OF   THE 

UN  1VER5ITY 
Of    ILLINOIS 

V.  \ 
copL 


THE 


INVISIBLE  GENTLEMAN, 


BY    THE    AUTHOR    OF 

"  CHARTLEY  THE  FATALIST,"  "  THE  ROBBER," 
&c.    Sec, 


IN  THREE  VOLUMES. 


VOL.  I 


LONDON: 
EDWARD   BULL,     HOLLES   STREET. 

1833. 


lokdon; 
printed  by  samuel  bentley, 
Dorset  Street,  Fleet  Street. 


^  ^:^ 


THE  INVISIBLE  GENTLEMAN. 


CHAPTER  I. 


Every  body  pronounced  Bernard  Audrey 
to  be  the  most  fortunate  of  all  fortunate  young 

^;^  fellows.  He  had  passed  creditably  through  the 
time,  oddly  enough  called  "  his  studies,""'  at 
Oxford,  and  had  as  many  tufts  and  wealthy  com- 
moners on  his  list  of  intimates  and  acquaint- 
ances, as  any  man  need  wish  to  begin  life  with. 
The  only  reason  why  he  did  not  take  honours 
was,  they  said,  because  he  did  not  choose  to  try 
for  them  ;  and  so  he  stood  much  higher,  as  a 

>  scholar,  than  he  would  have  done,  if  he  had 

made  the  attempt,  and  been  baffled  by  one  of 

those  untalked-about  men  who  every  now  and 

then  are  seen  to  emerge  from  their  holes  and 

VOL.    I.  B 


2  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

corners,  and  set  every  body  staring,  while  they 
thread  the  tangled  maze,  and  carry  ofF  the 
prize,  even  as  that  operative  mathematician 
the  spider  seizes  and  bears  away  the  plump 
young  fly. 

Bernard  had  a  rich  old  uncle  likewise,  a  most 
valuable  East  Indian  relation,  whom  the  con- 
stant attendance  of  a  physician  alone  seemed  to 
prevent  from  making  his  exit  into  another 
world.  But  Bernard  was  not  dependent  upon 
him,  having  a  very  pretty  fortune  of  his  own, 
left  to  accumulate,  in  consequence  of  the  death 
of  both  his  parents,  when  he  was  too  young  to 
feel  the  loss.  Added  to  all  this,  the  Audrey 
family  was  one  of  great  antiquity  and  respect- 
ability, and  he  was  the  only  son  of  the  elder 
branch  ;  so  that  if  a  long-dormant  baronetcy 
could  be  recovered,  he  would  forthwith  be  Sir 
Bernard.  And  of  the  revival  of  this  ancestral 
title  there  was  now  every  probability,  inas- 
much as  the  aforesaid  old  uncle  had  set  his 
mind  upon  it,  and,  in  anticipation  of  success, 
had  purchased  the  ruinous  old  hall  of  Audrey, 
in  Northamptonshire,  with  the  estate  belonging 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  3 

to  it.  The  old  gentleman  had,  moreover,  ac- 
cepted the  honour  of  knighthood,  thinking  that 
his  appearance  in  the  country  as  Sir  William, 
would  be  more  in  unison  with  what  was  to  fol- 
low, than  if  he  took  possession  as  a  mere  esquire. 

In  the  mean  while,  legal  and  antiquarian  re- 
searches and  inquiries  were  in  full  progress, 
and  the  lawyers  and  antiquaries  were  sanguine, 
and  even  positive,  respecting  ultimate  success ; 
since  nothing  remained  but  to  prove  the  deaths 
of  a  few  individuals,  the  youngest  of  whom,  if 
living,  must  then  have  been  one  hundred  and 
ninety  seven  years  of  age. 

Such  was  the  state  of  affairs  when  it  wanted 
but  a  week  to  the  day  on  which  Bernard  would 
be  of  age ;  and  Sir  WilUam  had  resolved  that 
that  day  should  be  commemorated,  in  the  true 
old  English  style,  at  Audrey  Hall.  Therefore, 
he  and  his  nephew  went  down  to  see  that  all 
fitting  preparations  were  made,  (according  to 
orders  previously  given,)  and  to  preside  on  the 
jovial  occasion. 

As  it  was  in  the  month  of  August,  there 
was  no  necessit}'^  for  making  use  of  the  interior 

B  2 


4  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

of  the  building  for  the  accommodation  of  their 
guests,  and  the  few  rooms  which  were  habitable, 
sufficed  for  their  own  comfort. 

Long  tables,  with  awnings,  tastefully  festoon- 
ed, after  the  manner  of  the  East,  were  erected  in 
the  park ;  two  barn-floors  were  laid  down  for 
the  dancers,  and  likewise  covered  with  awnings, 
that  the  capricious  climate  should  not  destroy 
the  festivity  of  the  day.  Then  there  were  se- 
parate tents  for  refreshment,  and  others  for 
select  parties  ;  and  orchestras,  of  pagoda  form, 
for  the  musicians  ;  and  the  whole  was  arranged 
in  such  a  manner,  as  caused  the  fame  of  it  to  go 
forth,  and  be  the  topic  of  general  conversation 
and  wonder  for  twenty  miles  round,  among  all 
classes  of  people  ;  and,  what  was  still  better,  all 
seemed  delighted,  for  all  were  invited. 

If  ever  a  contempt  for  the  advantages  of 
birth  and  the  pride  of  ancestry  can  exist  in  the 
minds  of  those  who  have  a  claim  to  it,  this  cer- 
tainly is  not  common  in  the  spring  of  life  ;  and 
Bernard  Audrey  had  it  not.  He  roamed 
through  the  old  park,  where  the  neglected 
thorns,  of  a  century's  growth,    had   hardened 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  5 

and  knotted  themselves  into  picturesque  wild- 
ness  and  beauty ;  while  here  and  there  an 
aged  oak  reared  its  head  majestically,  and  waved 
its  branches  in  the  upper  air,  as  though  to  wel- 
come the  returning  descendant  of  those  who  had 
cherished  it  when  a  sapling.  There  were  nose- 
less monuments  too  in  the  little  church,  and 
portions  of  painted  glass  in  its  windows,  as  well 
as  in  those  at  the  hall,  which  told  Bernard  that 
the  old  people  had  been  "  somebodies"  in  their 
generation ;  and  he  respected  himself  accord- 
ingly. 

On  the  arrival  of  the  important  day,  it  was 
ushered  in  by  the  ringing  of  bells;  and,  soon 
after  breakfast,  a  deputation  from  the  corpora- 
tion of  a  neighbouring  town  came  with  an  ad- 
dress of  congratulation  to  our  hero,  worded,  as 
the  worthy  mayor  said,  precisely  in  the  same 
manner  as  that  which  one  of  liis  predecessors  in 
office  had  brought  up,  on  a  similar  occasion,  to 
the  same  spot,  in  the  days  of  Queen  Elizabeth, 
when,  it  was  stated  in  the  records  of  the  bo- 
rough, the  deputation  "  disported  themselves  in 
the  park  until  the  hour  of  dinner,  after  which 


6  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

they  tarried  until  the  evening,  because  of  cer- 
tain sports  and  pastimes  enacted  by  the  young 
and  thoughtless ;  and  then,  when  Phoebus 
withdrew  his  beams,'*  they  returned  home  with 
all  becoming  gravity,  though  "  righte  merye"" 
withal,  from  the  abounding  excellence  of  their 
entertainment. 

The  worthy  burghers  were  thanked,  in  due 
form,  by  both  the  gentlemen,  and  requested  to 
remain  and  disport  themselves  according  to  the 
laudable  example  of  their  predecessors. 

As  the  day  advanced,  groups  of  peasantry,  in 
their  Sunday  suits,  were  seen  entering  the  park. 
Old  men  with  their  wives,  and  young  men  and 
maidens,  arm  in  arm,  approached  the  long  de- 
serted hall,  the  chimneys  of  which  now  sent 
forth  cheerful  clouds  of  preparation.  Anon 
came  gigs,  taxed-carts,  and  even  waggons,  be- 
decked with  boughs  of  laurel,  through  which 
glistening  eyes  and  laughing  faces  were  ever 
peeping.  These  were  followed  by  more  aristo- 
cratic vehicles,  open  landaus,  barouches,  family 
coaches,  chariots,  phaetons,  curricles,  and  den- 
nets,  in  which  might  be  seen,  as  they  swept 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  7 

along  over  the  greensward,  huge  silk  and  straw- 
bonnets,  betokening  that  certain  of  the  belles  of 
the  county  were  concealed  beneath. 

These  were  pleasant  indications  to  Bernard, 
and  he  and  Sir  William  immediately  sallied  forth 
to  say  as  many  agreeable  things,  or  rather  no- 
things, as  they  could  think  of.  But  as  they 
descended  the  steps  of  the  hall,  the  old  knight 
gave  a  friendly  piece  of  advice,  in  the  following 
terms,  to  the  young  baronet  that  was  to  be. 

"Now  mind,  Bernard,"  said  he,  "and  don't 
make  a  fool  of  yourself,  by  paying  too  much  at- 
tention to  anybody  whom  nobody  knows  ;  for  if 
ever  you  marry  a  girl  without  money,  1 11  cut 
you  off  with  a  shilling.  Take  your  cue  from  me. 
There  ""s  my  very  worthy  friend  the  Reverend 
Mr.  Kenemall,  who  has  kindly  undertaken  to 
be  a  soft  of  master  of  the  ceremonies  on  this 
occasion,  so  let  us  speak  to  him  first,  and  then, 
afterwards,  whenever  you  want  to  know  who  's 
who,  ask  him  and  he  can  tell  you." 

The  reverend  gentleman  performed  his  part 
most  admirably,  pronouncing  the  most  import- 
ant names  with  a  clear,  sonorous,  and  audible 


8  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

voice  ;  enouncing  those  of  lesser  moment  with  a 
placid  calmness,  and  almost  denouncing  the  re- 
mainder, by  the  hurried  and  indistinct  manner 
in  which  he  contrived  to  steer  between  undue 
civility  and  direct  rudeness. 

During  the  process  of  introduction,  the  knight 
and  the  heir  "  bowed  and  grinned,  bowed  and 
grinned,  and  bowed  and  grinned  again,"  and 
avowed  that  they  felt  themselves  "  highly  ho- 
noured," and  "  highly  delighted,"  and  so  forth, 
all  in  the  regular  way  :  and  then  the  several 
parties  dispersed  themselves  about  the  grounds, 
each  as  seemed  good  in  their  own  eyes ;  and 
very  shortly  after,  the  old  dinner-bell  of  the 
hall  swang,  creaking,  to  and  fro,  and  with  rusty 
iron  tongue  summoned  the  rustics  to  dinner. 

The  village  musicians  attempted  "  Non  no- 
6/5,"  but  it  was  a  failure^  for  want  of  the  church 
organ,  with  which  they  had  previously  prac- 
tised, and  so  the  Reverend  Mr.  Kenemall  said 
a  grace,  which  answered  the  purpose  quite  as 
well,  and  forthwith  the  guests  began  to  attack 
what  was  before  them  with  a  vigour  and  keen- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  9 

ness  of  appetite  which  excited  the  envy  of  more 
tlian  one  of  those  whose  custom  it  was  "  to  fare 
sumptuously  every  day  ;""  and  we  are  sorry  to 
say  that  Sir  William  himself  was  of  that  number. 

When  the  "  nobility,  gentry,  and  clergy" 
had  satisfied  themselves  with  looking  on,  they 
again  took  a  turn  or  two  to  admire  or  to  criti- 
cise the  arrangements  made  for  their  reception, 
and  guess  at  the  probable  amount  that  the  old 
knight  would  leave  behind  him  on  his  exit,  an 
event  which  they  all  agreed  must  soon  occur. 
And,  perhaps,  that  was  the  only  subject  upon 
which  all  opinions  did  agree,  though  the  ladies 
declared  that  the  heir  was  certainly  a  very  fine 
young  man. 

These  matters  being  decided  upon,  their  din- 
ner hour  likewise  arrived,  and  the  splendid 
entertainment  was  served  in  a  most  spacious  and 
magnificent  marquee ;  but  it  would  be  some- 
what irksome  to  enter  into  particulars,  and, 
moreover,  it  is  not  necessary  for  our  purpose  ; 
therefore,  be  it  understood,  that  all  went  oft* 
well,  and  our  young  hero  made  himself  exces- 

b5 


10  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

sively  agreeable  to  the  ladies  who  happened  to 
be  near  him,  more  especially  to  one  elderly 
dame,  who  had  a  very  handsome  daughter. 

Now  this  lady  and  her  spouse  were  among  the 
number  of  individuals  over  whose  names  the 
Reverend  Mr.  Kenemall  had  passed  with  such 
extreme  volubility,  and  consequently  Sir  Wil- 
liam was  anxious  to  learn  something  more  about 
them  ;  but  all  that  his  clerical  friend  knew  was, 
that  Mr.  Storer  had  recently  purchased  a  small 
estate  in  the  neighbourhood,  about  ten  miles 
oflp,  and  he  believed  was,  or  had  been  a  mer- 
chant, or  something  of  that  kind,  in  London. 
He  had  called  upon  him,  he  added,  some  weeks 
since,  but  his  call  had  not  yet  been  returned. 
This  was  very  unsatisfactory ;  but  the  old 
knight,  when  once  he  took  a  matter  in  hand, 
was  not  easily  to  be  baffled  ;  and,  as  it  was  a 
favourite  maxim  with  him  always  to  go  to  the 
fountain-head  at  once,  if  possible,  he  resolved 
to  take  the  first  opportunity  of  speaking  to  the 
said  Mr.  Storer  himself. 

But  the  said  Mr.  Storer,  as  if  intentionally 
playing  at  cross  purposes,  got  wedged  in  with 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  11 

a  party  of  jovial  fellows,  who  sat  long  over  the 
bottle  after  the  steadier  part  of  the  company 
had  taken  their  departure  from  the  marquee. 
In  the  mean  while,  young  Bernard,  on  whom  the 
implied  interdiction  of  Mr.  Kenemall  had  not 
been  lost,  most  perversely  continued  his  parti- 
cular attentions  towards  Mrs.  Storer  and  her 
fair  daughter  Alicia,  not  liking  the  fair  blossom 
before  him  a  whit  the  less  because  it  promised 
to  ripen  into  forbidden  fruit ;  but,  perhaps,  on 
the  contrary,  feeling  more  keenly  alive  to  pre- 
sent enjoyment  on  that  very  account. 

When,  at  length,  the  old  knight  saw  them 
dancing  together,  he  became  outrageous,  and 
took  a  sly  opportunity  of  throwing  an  angry 
glance  at  his  nephew,  which  the  latter  but  too 
well  understood,  and  therefore  resolved,  as  soon 
as  he  could,  with  propriety,  to  transfer  his 
attentions,  for  a  time,  to  some  other  fair  one ; 
for,  on  reflection,  it  struck  him,  that  on  such  an 
occasion,  when  he  was,  as  it  were,  the  host  of 
the  day,  he  might  have  appeared  not  quite  suffi- 
ciently general  in  paying  his  devoirs.  Besides, 
independently  of  all  pecuniary  considerations. 


12  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

he  would  not  willingly  give  his  worthy  uncle 
any  unnecessary  vexation. 

Such  was  his  laudable  resolution  during  the 
remainder  of  the  dance,  which  was  somewhat 
lengthy ;  and  at  its  termination,  as  Miss  Alicia 
Storer  felt  herself  rather  faint,  he  contrived  to 
persuade  her  that  a  short  walk,  of  only  a  few 
yards,  in  the  open  air,  would  be  by  far  the 
most  efficacious  of  all  possible  remedies. 

They  had  not  proceeded  half  a  dozen  steps 
from  the  entrance  of  the  temporary  saloon,  when 
they  saw,  by  the  clear  moonlight,  two  gentlemen 
coming  towards  them  from  the  marquee,  appa- 
rently engaged  in  high  words. 

"  That  is  my  father  !"  exclaimed  Miss  Alicia; 
"  he  has  taken  too  much  wine,  I  know,  by  his 
manner  of  speaking.     Do  let  us  get  out  of  his 

"  And  the  other  is  my  uncle,  I'll  swear,'"* 
thought  Bernard;  "  and  he  hasn't  taken  wine 
enough." 

So,  without  farther  ceremony,  he  whisked  his 
fair  companion  round  the  corner  of  the  building, 
and  took  that  opportunity  of  whispering  some 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  13 

soft  nonsense  into  her  not  unwilling  ear ;  after 
which,  as  her  faintness  had  departed,  they 
joined  the  company,  and  she  was  delivered  safe 
into  the  charge  of  her  mamma ;  who,  having 
observed  the  rocky  state  of  her  papa,  immedi- 
ately ordered  their  carriage,  which  was  an- 
nounced while  our  hero  was  in  the  middle  of  a 
set  of  quadrilles,  with  a  set  of  "  frights,"  and 
so  there  was  no  leave-takinq-. 

As  his  uncle,  very  judiciously,  retired  to  rest 
at  an  hour  when  the  thorough-going  votaries  of 
Terpsichore  were  "  just  beginning  to  enjoy 
themselves,**"*  Bernard  was  left  without  any 
check  upon  his  conduct ;  and  perhaps  on  that 
very  account,  evinced  so  much  tact,  and  was  so 
general  and  graceful  in  his  polite  attentions  to 
the  assembled  fair,  as  almost  to  compensate  for 
his  exclusiveness  in  the  former  part  of  the 
evening. 

The  dancing  and  merriment  continued  till 

"  Like  a  boil'd  lobster,  now,  the  mom, 
From  black  to  red  began  to  turn." 

And  then  the  wheels  were  in  requisition ;  and 


14  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

the  yawning  servants  shook  themselves  from 
their  unquiet  and  dog-Hke  slumbers.  Bernard 
handed  his  last  partner  to  her  carriage ;  and 
then,  as  he  looked  at  the  moon,  fading  away  in 
the  heavens  as  if  declining  to  enter  into  compe- 
tition with  Aurora,  he  felt  half  disposed  to  be 
poetical ;  but  it  had  been  a  busy  day,  and  he 
had  slept  but  little  the  night  before,  and  so  his 
ideas  became  exceedingly  confused  and  unma- 
nageable, and  he  sought  his  pillow,  which,  im- 
mediately he  laid  his  head  upon  it,  seemed  to 
be  jigging  him  to  sleep  by  a  medley  of  merry 
squeaking  tunes,  as  though  it  were  stuffed  with 
tiny  fiddlers,  catgut,  and  resin. 

In  the  morning,  he  prepared  himself  for  a 
lecture  ;  but  the  good  old  knight  was  in  some- 
what gayer  mood  than  ordinary,  and  made  no 
allusion  to  the  Storers. 

**  Well,  my  dear  fellow,"  said  he,  "  all  went 
off  well;  and  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to 
stay  here  at  least  a  week.  But  you  are  your 
own  master  ;  and  though  I  shall  be  glad  to  have 
your  company,  yet,  if  you  find  yourself  dull, 
don't  mind  me,  for  my  time  will  be  filled  up  in 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  15 

arranging  plans  for  the  improvement  of  the 
estate,  which  will  be  quite  a  different  sort  of 
place  in  a  few  years." 

Bernard  declared  that  nothing  would  give 
him  greater  pleasure  than  rendering  any  assist- 
ance in  his  power  ;  and,  moreover,  that  he  had 
a  great  desire  to  see  something  more  of  the 
surrounding  country. 

Sir  William  said  that  nothing  could  be  more 
natural.  "  Our  ancestors,"  he  continued,  "  hunt- 
ed and  hawked  here ;  and  practised  good  old 
English  hospitality,  as  I  learnt  from  some  of 
the  old  country  people  yesterday,  quite  in 
baronial  style.  And  you  shall  be  able  to  do 
the  same,  Bernard,  as  soon  as  ever  this  affair 
of  the  title  is  settled  ;  that  is,  mind  me,  if  you 
don'^t  make  a  fool  of  yourself  by  marrying  some 
poor  girl.  Choice  enough,  choice  enough,  Sir. 
What  do  you  think  of  the  Honourable  Misses 
Dashfort  ?  Fine  girl  the  eldest  —  steps  like  a 
queen,  eh  ?  A  seat  in  Parliament  at  once  through 
that  interest.     You  danced  with  her  of  course .?" 

Bernard  thought  himself  happy  in  being  able 
to  answer  in  the  affirmative ;  and  they  talked 


16  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

of  divers  other  ladies  with  whom  he  had  likewise 
danced ;  having  been,  as  before  hinted,  ex- 
tremely assiduous  after  the  departure  of  the 
Storers,  whose  name,  to  his  great  surprise,  was 
not  mentioned  by  his  uncle. 

Calls  from  gentlemen  so  entirely  filled  up 
that  day,  that  it  was  impossible  to  ride  out  in 
any  reasonable  time  ;  but  on  the  following  morn- 
ing, Bernard  mounted  his  horse  soon  after 
breakfast,  with  the  avowed  purpose  of  seeing 
the  country. 

It  was  about  two  o'clock  when  he  found  him- 
self on  an  eminence  which  commanded  a  lovely 
sweeping  valley,  well  wooded,  and  watered  by 
a  small  river,  the  devious  and  irregular  windings 
of  which  ghstened  here  and  there  in  the  sun- 
beams. Now,  although  Bernard  had  been  por- 
ing over  a  huge  map  of  the  county  on  the 
preceding  evening,  he  felt  obliged  to  inquire 
of  his  country  servant,  what  the  name  of  a  snug 
little  estate,  which  occupied  the  major  part  of 
this  valley,  might  happen  to  be ;  and  the  man's 
reply  was  "  Maxdean."  "  Who  lives  there  ?" 
he  then  asked. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  17 

"  It  now  belongs  to  a  Lunnuner,"  said  his 
informant,  "  one  Squire  Storer,  as  they  call 
him — but  he  hasn't  been  there  long;  —  in 
former  days,  it  used  to  make  part  of  your  own 
family  estate,  because  part  of  the  land  runs 
round  that  hill,  just  as  the  river  runs;  and  so 
the  old  Audreys  used  to  have  all  the  narrow 
steep  pretty  near  along  the  two  valleys  ;  and  the 
Dashforts  had  the  higher  ground  on  this  side  ; 
and  different  people  that''s  all  gone  and  for- 
gotten, had  what  is  on  the  other." 

Our  hero  looked  at  his  watch,  hesitated, 
walked  his  horse  forward,  stopped,  and  appear- 
ed to  admire  the  prospect. 

"  There's  the  old  gentleman  that  belongs  to 
the  estate,"  exclaimed  the  servant:  "  He's  just 
going  out  —  do  you  see.  Sir,  in  that  low  phae- 
ton, with  a  man  in  a  light  blue  livery  driving 
him.  There,  they  have  now  gone  under  those 
large  elms  :  that 's  where  the  entrance-gate  is." 

Bernard  remained  where  he  was,  and  saw  the 
old  gentleman  driven  along  the  high  road 
through  the  valley,  till  the  low  phaeton  had 
fairly  turned  the  corner ;  and  then  he  very  soon 


18  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

found  himself  at  the  door  of  Maxdean  Hall, 
inquiring  for  Mr.  Storer,  and  regretting  ex- 
ceedingly that  he  happened  not  to  be  at  home. 
"  But,  perhaps,*"  said  he,  "  Mrs.  Storer  may  be 
within  ?'' 

His  card  was  duly  delivered,  and  met  with  a 
favourable  reception.  He  was  ushered  into  an 
elegantly-furnished  little  drawing-room,  where 
he  waited  not  long  ere  the  lady  of  the  house 
made  her  appearance,  and  bade  him  welcome 
with  a  heartiness  and  good-humour  which  were 
quite  refreshing.  He  thought  he  had  never  seen 
so  comely  and  comfortable  a  middle-aged  dame  ; 
and  after  expressing  his  delight  at  seeing  her 
looking  so  well,  he  ventured  to  hope  that  Miss 
Storer  had  not  taken  cold  from  a  partial  expo- 
sure to  the  night  air ;  and  even  hinted  that  he 
ought  to  have  called  yesterday,  but  was  pre- 
vented by  numerous  visiters. 

"  Pray,  don't  mention  it,''  said  Mrs.  Storer ; 
"  we  are  not  ceremonious  people,  I  assure  you  : 
and  though  we  should  be  sorry  to  hurt  the  feel- 
ings of  any  one,  we  wish  our  neighbours  to 
understand  that  we  are  not  so :  —  we  shall  al- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  19 

ways  be  glad  to  see  you  at  any  time.  Perhaps 
Mr.  Storer  ought  to  have  called  on  you  and 
Sir  William  yesterday  ;  indeed,  he  fancies  that 
he  recollects  promising  something  of  the  kind, 
but  he  was  not  able  to  stir  out  during  the  day  : 
the  fatigue  he  underwent  the  preceding  night 
was  somewhat  too  much  for  him"  —  (here  a 
good-humoured  smile  was  apparent.)  "  Alicia, 
however,  is  quite  well,  and  will,  I  am  sure,  feel 
pleased  to  have  an  opportunity  of  thanking  you 
for  your  polite  attention." 

She  then  rang  the  bell,  and  desired  a  servant 
to  make  the  necessary  announcement ;  in  conse- 
quence of  which  Miss  Storer  soon  made  her 
appearance,  and  Bernard  thought  that  she  look- 
ed more  lovely  in  her  plain  white  morning  dress, 
than  when  arrayed  and  "harnessed"  for  the 
ball-room. 

What  else  passed  on  this  occasion  was  too 
much  like  every-day  matters  to  be  worth  relat- 
ing ;  but  it  was  a  somewhat  longer  morning-call 
than  the  strict  rules  of  etiquette  demand,  on  the 
first  performance  of  that  ceremony,  and  alto- 
gether appeared  far  from  tedious  to  the  parties 
en^aijed  in  it. 


20  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  You  will  probably  meet  my  husband  on 
your  return  home,""  said  the  elder  lady ;  "  he 
went  out  with  the  intention  of  calling  on  you 
and  Sir  William." 

This  anticipated  meeting  took  place  about 
half-way  between  the  two  halls.  Mr.  Storer 
was,  like  his  spouse,  a  comfortable-looking  per- 
sonage. Both  were  inclined  to  stoutness,  but 
he  somewhat  in  the  greater  degree ;  and  more- 
over, a  rubicund  tint  on  his  countenance  seemed 
to  indicate  that  he  was  not  in  the  habit  of  de- 
barring himself  from  the  moderate  enjoyment 
of  such  gratifications  as  were  congenial  with 
his  taste.  The  two-wheeled  phaeton  was  ar- 
rested in  its  course,  and  he  shook  hands  warmly 
with  our  hero. 

"  Just  been  to  call  upon  you,"  said  he  :  "  saw 
Sir  William — doesn't  look  well — but  hope  our 
country  air  will  set  him  up  again.  Shocking 
place,  India  !  —  kill  the  devil !  Well,  how  do 
you  like  this  part  of  the  world  ?" 

Bernard  expressed  his  delight  at  all  he  had 
seen,  and  mentioned  from  whence  he  then  came. 
There  was  an  evident  expression  of  pleasure  in 
the  eyes  of  the  hearer,  who  replied — 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  21 

"  That  ""s  odd  enough  —  I  one  way,  you  the 
other.  Well,  well,  all 's  right  ;  so  now  I  shall 
consider  my  call  as  returned,  and  then  there ""s  an 
end  of  all  your  confounded  ceremony.  When  will 
you  come  and  dine  with  me? — ^just  in  a  family 
way.  No  use  to  ask  Sir  William  ;  tells  me  he 
never  dines  out.  Capital  Madeira  that  of  his. 
Took  too  much  the  other  day,  drinking  your 
health.  Can  give  you  pretty  near  as  good, 
though.  Well,  if  you  won't  fix  a  day,  remem- 
ber we  always  dine  at  five — punctual — sit  down 
as  the  clock  strikes.  Glad  to  see  you  any  day ; 
wouldn't  say  so  otherwise,  you  may  depend 
upon  it.'"* 

Bernard  declared  that  he  equally  disliked 
ceremony,  and  promised  to  take  the  earliest 
opportunity  of  Jooking-in  in  a  family  way. 
They  then  again  cordially  shook  hands,  and 
separated. 

Sir  William  mentioned  at  dinner  the  names 
of  several  persons  who  had  called,  but  said  not 
a  word  of  Mr.  Storer,  who  our  hero  conse- 
quently judged  was  considered  as  nobody,  and 
felt  not  a  little  perplexed. 


22  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

The  next  two  days  were  spent  in  returning 
the  calls  of  their  neighbours,  looking  over  the 
estate  and  plans  for  its  improvement ;  and  on 
the  third,  Bernard  said  that  he  should  take  a 
long  ride,  and  perhaps  not  be  back  till  the 
evening. 

"  That's  right,  my  dear  fellow,"  said  Sir 
William  ;  "  Go  about  —  see  every  thing  you 
can.  Never  mind  me,  I  am  sufficiently  occu- 
pied at  present,  so  as  scarcely  to  miss  your 
society/' 

There  was  nobody  at  Maxdean  Hall  that 
day  but  the  family,  when  the  new  clock  on  the 
old  turret  indicated  that  it  wanted  five  minutes 
to  five ;  but  when  that  hour  was  announced, 
four  persons  entered  the  dining-room. 

"  This  is  just  what  I  like,"  said  Mr.  Storer. 
"  I  make  no  apology  —  never  do.  If  a  young 
fellow  can't  make  a  good  dinner  off  fish  and 
soup,  and  plain  roast  and  boiled,  I  'm  sorry  for 
him,  that's  all.  Got  a  good  appetite,  I  hope — 
nothing  comes  amiss  then  : — fine  day  for  riding 
— how  do  you  like  Northamptonshire .?" 

Bernard  praised  the  country,  and  highly  ap- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  23 

proved  of  everything  before  him  ;  and  moreover, 
felt  somewhat  puzzled  how  to  reconcile  the 
style  in  which  the  family  dinner  was  served, 
with  his  previous  notion  that  the  Storers  were 
classed  among  the  nobodies ;  but  as  that  was  a 
subject  on  which  no  immediate  decision  appear- 
ed necessary,  he  postponed  its  consideration, 
and  resolved  to  enjoy  the  present  moment. 

The  first  consequence  of  this  visit  was  the 
establishment  of  a  quite-at-home  sort  of  feeling 
between  all  parties ;  and  his  subsequent  calls 
were  frequent  during  his  stay  in  the  country, 
which  was  extended  by  Sir  William's  engage- 
ments, till  no  less  than  three  weeks  had  elapsed: 
and  then,  one  morning  at  breakfast,  the  uncle 
abruptly  told  his  nephew  that  he  should  be  off 
on  the  following  day,  and  hoped  to  have  the 
pleasure  of  his  company. 

"  To  speak  the  truth,"  continued  the  knight, 
"  I  could  be  very  well  content  to  spend  a  few 
more  weeks  here,  if  our  establishment  was  pro- 
perly arranged  ;  but  it  is  impossible,  as  things 
are,  to  receive  the  only  few  families  with  which 
we  can  associate,  in  a  manner  suitable  to  the 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

rank  which  you  will  in  future  hold  in  the 
county. 

Next  year  all  will  be  right,  but  in  the  mean 
while,  my  dear  fellow,  you  must  look  out  for  a 
wife.  I  should  like  to  see  you  well  married. 
You  don't  appear  to  be  smitten  with  any  of  the 
belles  hereabouts.  Indeed  I  am  not  surprised 
at  that,  for,  with  the  exception  of  the  Dashforts, 
there's  really  nobody  worth  mentioning.  The 
rest  are  all  very  well  to  make  up  a  party,  or  fill 
a  ball-room,  and  some  even  to  visit  occasionally  : 
but,  for  anything  further — "  and  he  finished  the 
sentence  by  an  expressive  shrug  of  the  shoulders, 
which  was  exceedingly  unpleasant  to  our  hero, 
who  had  made  such  use  of  time  and  opportunity, 
as  now  to  be  desperately  in  love  with  the  fair 
Alicia.  He  was  almost  on  the  point  of  making 
this  confession,  when  he  reflected  that  it  might 
be  done  quite  as  well  on  the  morrow,  during 
their  journey  to  London,  and  silence,  in  the 
mean  while,  would  afford  him  an  opportunity 
of  saying  farewell  to  his  friends  at  Maxdean 
Hall. 

His  ride  to  that  delightful  spot  was  somewhat 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  25 

more  dull  than  usual,  and,  as  he  was  walking- 
round  the  shrubbery  with  Alicia,  she  could 
not  avoid  remarking  his  fits  of  absence  and 
lowness  of  spirits.  The  reason  was  soon  dis- 
closed ;  it  was  the  thought  of  separation,  the 
dread  lest,  in  his  absence,  some  other  might 
become  the  chosen  partner  of  her  walks,  and  so 
on,  and  the  whole  terminated  by  a  passionate 
declaration  that,  unless  she  consented  to  become 
his  companion  for  life,  he  should  never  know 
what  happiness  meant. 

Alicia  neither  shrieked  nor  fainted ;  but 
thanked  him  for  the  very  high  opinion  he  enter- 
tained of  her ;  really  knew  not  what  answer  to 
make  ;  and,  upon  being  further  pressed,  utterly 
denied  having  formed  any  previous  attachment, 
and,  when  pressed  still  harder,  acknowledged 
that  the  affair  was  one  of  such  great  importance 
that  she  could  not  venture  to  speak  upon  it ; 
and  then,  after  a  little  more  pressure,  she  very 
dutifully  referred  her  overjoyed  lover  to  her 
parents. 

Mr.  Storer  listened  to  our  hero's  tale  with  an 
unusual  appearance  of  gravity,  and  then  said, 

vol .  1.  c 


26  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  Hem,  hem,  ahem  I  no  such  thing  as  young 
people's  meeting  together  in  a  friendly  way  with- 
out something  of  this  sort !  Don't  know  what 
to  say  to  it.  Respect  you,  can't  do  otherwise, 
no  fault  to  find,  all  very  natural,  but  Sir  Wil- 
liam ?  What  does  he  think,  eh  ?  East  Indians 
cursed  proud ;  don't  like  the  name  of  trade.  I 
glory  in  it.  Got  my  money  so,  perhaps  t/ou 
didn't  know  that.^^  Don't  mean  to  say  I  can 
give  Ally  much  though,  mind  that!  some  little 
matter  perhaps. " 

Bernard,  avowed  himself  to  be  perfectly  dis- 
interested, and  stated,  that  even  his  uncle's  dis- 
approbation would  make  no  change  in  his  senti- 
ments or  conduct. 

Little  more  conversation  was  necessary  to 
make  all  smooth ;  and  then  the  precise  hour  of 
dinner  arrived,  when  each  of  the  old  people  ate 
more  than  both  the  young  ones.  A  tender  se- 
paration, interspersed  with  vows,  sighs,  pro- 
mises, hand-squeezings,  &c.  &c.  closed  this 
eventful  day. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  27 


CHAPTER  II. 

"  Do  you  know  whose  snug  little  place  that 
is  to  the  left  ?■'  asked  Sir  William,  as  his  travel- 
ling chariot  bowled  merrily  along  the  winding 
road  through  the  valley. 

"  It  is  called  Maxdean  Hall,"  replied  Ber- 
nard, "  and  belongs  to  a  gentleman  of  the  name 
of  Storer." 

"  Humph !"  quoth  the  knight,  "  Squire 
Storer  now,  I  suppose  ?  I  remember  the  name, 
a  grocer,  or  something  of  that  sort,  from  London. 
Grounds  well  laid  out  though  ;  that  opening 
and  sunk  fence  is  not  bad  ;  but  the  little  mound 
and  temple  are  too  much  like  a  sugar-loaf." 

"  You  must  be  under  some  mistake.  Sir,"  ob- 
served Bernard,  "  Mr.  Storer  certainly  has  never 
been  a  grocer.    His  manners  and  style  of  living, 

c  2 


28  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

though  plain,  are  perfectly  those  of  a  gentle- 
man." 

"Eh!  What?  Then  you  have  visited  him  ?" 
exclaimed  Sir  William. 

Bernard  replied  that  he  had  called  several 
times. 

"  Humph  !  very  strange  !  I  never  heard  you 
mention  the  name,"  continued  the  knight ; 
"  you  should  be  very  careful.  I  hope  you  have 
not  become  too  intimate."" 

The  nephew  thought  the  time  for  confession 
was  now  arrived,  and,  summoning  all  his  cou- 
rage, said,  "  I  took  a  family  dinner  with  them 
yesterday,  and — " 

"  Family  dinner !"  cried  Sir  William,  inter- 
rupting him,  "  Got  so  far  as  that,  eh  ?  Well, 
then  I  must  call  likewise,  I  suppose,  so,  just 
order  the  postilions  to  drive  up  to  the  door. 
The  grounds  appear  to  be  very  tastily  managed  ; 
and  perhaps  I  may  borrow  a  hint  for  our  own 
improvements.  There's  no  need  of  any  intro- 
duction ;  for  now  1  recollect  that  the  grocer 
called  upon  me."" 

Bernard  gave  the  necessary   directions,  and 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  29 

then  observed,  **  I  assure  you,  Sir  William ,  he 
is  not  a  grocer ."*"* 

"  Phoo,  phoo,"  said  the  knight,  "  no  matter 
what,  a  tailor  perhaps ;  but  we  Ve  no  business  to 
know  anything  about  such  matters.  He 's  a 
Squire  here,  and  that 's  enough  for  the  preaent. 
If  we  find  it  necessary  to  cut  him  afterwards, 
we  can.  A  good  front  to  the  house,  however  ! 
Verandah  perfectly  correct,  a  London  architect, 
I  presume." 

While  Sir  William  went  on  with  his  remarks, 
as  they  drove  along  the  sweeping  road  leading 
to  the  hall,  Bernard  endeavoured  to  prepare  for 
the  coming  scene,  in  which  he  resolved  to  con- 
duct himself  manfully,  and,  if  it  were  necessary, 
to  sacrifice  all  for  love. 

Just  as  the  carriage  reached  the  door.  Sir 
William,  as  if  suddenly  recollecting  himself, 
turned  sharply  round,  and  said,  "  By  the  by, 
he's  got  a  daughter,  now  I  remember;  but,  phoo, 
phoo,  no,  I  am  sure  I  need  not  have  any  fears 
on  that  account.  No,  no,  an  Audrey  could 
never  forget  himself  so  far  as  to  think  of  a  gro- 
cer's daughter  V 


30  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

There  was  no  time  for  reply,  as  their  servants 
had  descended  from  their  seats  at  the  back  of 
the  carriage,  and  opened  the  door,  while  that  of 
the  hall  was  likewise  open  for  their  reception, 
and  a  servant  out  of  livery  answered  the  inquiry 
of  Sir  William,  by  stating,  without  hesitation, 
that  his  master  was  at  home ;  and  scarcely  were 
the  words  out  of  his  mouth,  ere  Mr.  Storer  him- 
self made  his  appearance,  and  shaking  hands 
familiarly  with  both  Sir  William  and  his  ne- 
phew, bade  them  heartily  welcome. 

"  Glad  to  see  you.  Sir  William,"  he  continu- 
ed ;  "  thought  you  didn't  mean  to  call;  shouldn't 
have  been  offended  if  you  hadn't ;  nephew  has 
though — dined  with  us,  all  in  the  family  way — 
hope  you  '11  do  the  same  to-day — don't  know 
what  we  've  got — don't  care — come,  walk  in." 

The  old  knight  appeared  to  his  nephew  to  be 
somewhat  more  than  usually  stiff  and  formal, 
but  suffered  himself  to  be  conducted  into  the 
house;  and  they  were  soon  seated  in  the  little 
drawing-room,  though  not  before  the  lover  had 
contrived  to  pull  their  host  by  the  sleeve,  and 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  31 

whisper  that   his  uncle   was  yet   in    ignorance 
relative  to  the  affair  of  the  preceding  day. 

"  You  are  pleasantly  situated  here,  Mister 
,"  observed  Sir  William,  in  his  most  digni- 
fied style  of  condescension. 

"  Yes,"  replied  Mr.  Storer ;  "snug  little 
box  enough.  Does  very  well  for  three  of  us  ; 
don't  see  much  company — don't  want  'em; 
like  snug  family  parties — that  "*s  my  taste,  eh. 
Sir  William.     What  say  you  .''" 

"  Why,"  replied  the  knight  distantly,  "  I 
think  every  man  ought  to  know  what  accords 
with  his  own  taste,  and  cannot  be  blamed  for 
pursuing  such  habits  and  pleasures  as  he  has 
been  accustomed  to." 

"  Very  true,  very  true,"  resumed  Mr.  Storer  ; 
"  never  was  used  to  much  form  and  ceremony, 
so  don't  like  it :  good  reason  that,  eh.  Sir  Wil- 
liam ?  Hard  work  to  bend  an  old  tree ;"  and 
he  rose  and  crossed  the  room  to  pull  the  bell, 
while  the  knight  cast  a  glance  at  his  nephew, 
which,  with  its  accompanying  shrug  and  ges- 
ture,   plainly   said,    "  A   very   pretty   sort    of 


32  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

an  acquaintance  you  've  picked  up  in  this 
grocer !" 

On  the  appearance  of  a  servant,  Mr.  Storer 
made  a  well-known  sign  for  refreshments,  and 
added,  "  Let  the  ladies  know  that  Sir  William 
and  Mr.  Audrey  are  here."" 

The  ladies  very  soon  afterwards  made  their 
eritre,  and  the  old  knight's  attentions  were 
according  to  the  most  frigid  politeness  of  the 
old  school,  while  poor  Bernard  sat  upon  thorns, 
and  scarcely  knew  what  to  say  or  which  way  to 
look.  The  invitation  to  stop  and  take  a  family 
dinner  was  repeated  by  the  unceremonious  lady, 
much  in  the  same  manner  as  it  had  been  pre- 
viously given  by  her  husband ;  but  Sir  William 
condescended  to  express  his  regret  that  the 
thing  was  impossible,  as  they  intended  that 
night  to  sleep  at  Woburn.  A  proposal  to  walk 
round  the  grounds  was,  however,  accepted,  and 
Mr.  Storer  appeared  highly  delighted  at  the 
task  of  showing  the  lions. 

'*  Mr.  Audrey  has  seen  all  before,""  said  he, 
"  so  he  may  as  well  stop  where  he  is.  You  and 
I  can  go  together,  Sir  William.     No  great  mat- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  SS 

ter  to  show  you  ;  not  like  what  Audrey  park 
and  grounds  will  be,  but  just  pretty,  that 's  all ; 
not  grand— leave  that  for  your  magnificos ; 
like  comfort — This  way,"  and,  opening  one  of 
the  windows,  he  conducted  his  guest  out  upon  a 
neatly-mown  lawn. 

During  their  absence,  which  lasted  nearly  an 
hour,  Bernard  informed  Alicia  and  her  mother 
of  the  cause  of  their  visit,  and  stated  his  inten- 
tions of  speaking  to  his  uncle  during  the  pro- 
gress of  their  journey  ;  and  when  the  elder  lady 
thought  proper  to  leave  the  room,  the  lovers 
held  some  very  interesting  communications  and 
lamentations  concerning  "  the  course  of  true 
love  never  running  smooth  ;"  for  Alicia  per- 
ceived that  Sir  William  looked  upon  her  family 
with  condescension,  and  Bernard  could  not  deny 
that  he  had  some  fears  ;  but,  as  he  was  inde- 
pendent of  his  uncle,  he  vowed  to  follow  the 
dictates  of  his  own  heart,  and  forthwith  spake 
of  "  love  in  a  cottage,**'  and  other  agreeable 
concomitant  matters. 

When  the  elder  gentlemen  returned,  Sir  Wil- 
liam'^s  stiffness  of  manner  appeared  to  be  greatly 

c  5 


34  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

increased.  He  just  tasted  a  glass  of  Madeira, 
at  the  pressing  instance  of  his  host,  and  then  his 
travelling  chariot  was  ordered  to  the  door.  The 
leave-taking  was  very  formal  on  his  part,  and 
for  some  time  afterwards  there  was  no  sound 
heard  but  the  rumbling  of  the  wheels. 

Bernard  thought  this  very  ominous,  but  knew 
not  how  to  begin  a  conversation.  At  length  he 
was  startled  by  Sir  William''s  exclaiming,  "  A 
good-looking  girl  that  grocer's  daughter  !  How 
did  you  find  her  ?  Coarse,  I  suppose,  like  her 
father?" 

"  Quite  the  contrary,"  replied  Bernard.  '*  She 
has  been  most  excellently  educated,  and  her 
education  has  not  been  thrown  away.  Her  ac- 
complishments are  adequate  to  any  station  in 
life ;  and,  more  than  all,  she  has  a  most  excel- 
lent disposition  and  an  affectionate — " 

"  What  in  the  world  are  you  talking  about, 
Bernard  ?"  ejaculated  the  knight.  "  Excellent  ! 
affectionate  !  accomplished  !  I  mean  the  gro- 
cer's daughter  w^iom  we  have  just  left.  You 
are  thinking  of  somebody  else." 

*'  No,  sir,"  rephed  the  lover ;   "  I  mean  Miss 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  35 

Alicia  Storer ;  and,  if  we  had  not  called  there 
this  morning,  it  was  my  intention  to  have  spoken 
to  you  on  the  subject." 

"What  subject?"  asked  the  uncle,  starting 
as  far  as  possible  to  his  own  side  of  the  carriage. 
"  It  can't  surely  be  of  any  consequence  either 
to  you  or  me  what  accomplishments  that  girl 
has  got,  or  whether  she  has  none  at  all  ?" 

"  Pardon  me.  Sir  William,"  said  Bernard, 
and  then  he  went  on  to  profess  much  of  the 
gratitude  and  esteem  which  he  really  felt  for  his 
uncle,  and  the  extreme  sorrow  which  he  should 
feel  in  doing  anything  to  offend  him,  and  so 
forth ;  and  having  thus  prefaced  the  matter, 
proceeded  to  the  tale  of  his  plighted  affection, 
and  the  utter  impossibility  of  his  ever  being 
happy  with  any  other  created  being  than  the 
aforesaid  all-accomplished  Alicia. 

During  this  confession,  Sir  William  sat  per- 
fectly silent,  with  his  face  turned  away  from  the 
speaker,  and  apparently  engaged  in  looking  out 
of  his  own  window,  so  that  it  was  impossible 
to  guess  what  might  be  his  feelings.  When  his 
nephew  appeared  to  have  no  more   to  say,  he 


S6  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

sunk  back  in  his  carriage,  and,  giving  him  a 
stern  look,  asked  if  he  had  done  ? 

"  I  have  nothing  more  to  add,"  said  Bernard, 
in  the  resigned  tone  of  a  prisoner  expecting  his 
sentence. 

"  Have  you  forgotten  the  baronetcy  ?"  asked 
Sir  William  ;  "  and  the  expectations  which  you 
might  justly  have  calculated  upon  at  my  death, 
had  you  thought  fit  to  follow  my  advice  ?" 

"  I  know  all  the  risk  I  run,  sir,"  replied  Ber- 
nard. "  The  loss  of  your  friendship  and  es- 
teem will  be  more  difficult  to  endure  than  the 
loss  of  title  or  fortune  :  but  my  word  is  plight- 
ed, and,  were  it  not,  my  aflPection  is  fixed  be- 
yond the  possibility  of  a  change.  If  you  knew 
more  of  Ahcia,  Sir  William,  I  am  sure — ^" 

"  Pshaw — nonsense  !"  exclaimed  the  knight. 
"  Don't  tell  me  about  her.  You  must  know 
enough  of  me,  sir,  to  be  aware  that  I  never 
change  my  mind — therefore,  the  only  question 
is,  whether  you  will  change  yours  ?  for,  if  not, 
I  tell  you,  once  for  all,  you  must  abide  the  con- 
sequences." 

Bernard's  answer  was,  (like  his  previous  con- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  37 

fession,)  somewhat  too  lengthy  to  be  repeated 
verbatim ;  but  the  substance  of  it  was  indica- 
tive of  great  respect  for  his  uncle,  and  a  willing- 
ness to  be  guided  by  his  counsel  upon  every 
subject,  save  the  only  one  on  which  the  said 
uncle  had  thought  fit  to  give  him  any  advice.  An 
exposition  and  dissertation  upon  Alicia*'s  virtues 
and  accomplishments  followed,  as  a  matter  of 
course ;  and  the  whole  was  concluded  by  a 
most  heroic  renunciation  of  every  advantage 
and  prospect  which  might  require  an  abandon- 
ment of  the  object  of  his  undivided  affection. 

"  Well,  sir,"'  observed  Sir  William  coolly, 
"  such  being  your  determination,  I  leave  you  to 
take  your  own  course,  and  shall  only  add  that  I 
hope  you  will  not  repent  when  it  is  too  late. 
For  my  own  part,  I  shall  immediately  return  to 
Audrey  Hall,  to  countermand  the  orders  given 
for  the  various  improvements,  and  to  destroy 
certain  documents,  which  I,  somewhat  prema- 
turely, signed  the  day  after  you  came  of  age.  1 
have  nothing  more  to  say  on  the  subject.  You 
see  I  take  things  coolly.  You  say  that  your 
affections  are  not  in  your  own  power — hem  !  so 


38  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

it  seems ;  but  my  property  is  in  mine,  that 's 
some  consolation.  We  won't  quarrel,  sir,  for 
the  short  time  we  have  to  be  together.  It 's 
not  worth  while.  Perhaps  you  would  like  me 
to  set  you  down  at  Maxdean  Hall ;  if  so,  pray 
make  yourself  at  home  ;  there  is  plenty  of  room 
for  us  both.  Here  we  are  at  the  end  of  the 
stage." 

The  servants  were  somewhat  astonished  at 
their  masters  unusual  change  of  purpose,  but 
knew  him  too  well  to  hazard  any  remark  ;  and, 
in  a  few  minutes,  they  were  rapidly  retracing 
their  former  way. 

Bernard  was,  of  course,  very  dull ;  but  ven- 
tured once  or  twice  to  recur  to  the  important 
topic,  and  on  each  occasion  the  old  knight 
turned  away  and  looked  out  of  his  window  in 
silence. 

It  was  half-past  four  o'clock  when  they  re- 
entered the  well-known  valley,  and  the  sight  of 
the  roof  under  which  his  Alicia  was,  doubtless, 
then  thinking  of  him,  caused  no  trifling  emotion 
in  the  breast  of  her  lover  :  but  still  the  idea  of 
parting,  thus  suddenly,  from  his  alienated  uncle, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  39 

was  very  painful,  and  he  told  him  so,  with  a 
degree  of  genuine  feeling  and  warmth,  which, 
one  would  have  thought,  must  have  had  an 
effect  upon  the  old  gentleman,  who,  neverthe- 
less, still  continued  to  look  out  of  his  window, 
till  they  reached  the  gate  of  the  little  park,  and 
then  he  turned  suddenly  round,  and  said, 
"  Well,  Bernard — sir — will  you  give  up  the 
girl  or  not  ?  I  ask  you  now  for  the  last  time. 
Just  be  pleased  to  say  yes  or  no." 

"  Then  I  must  say  no,  sir,"  replied  Bernard. 
"  But  I  will  yet  hope—'' 

"  Phoo,  phoo  ;  no  more  nonsense  !"  exclaim- 
ed Sir  William.  ''  We  have  had  enough  of 
that  already.  I  never  change  my  mind,  sir.  I 
have  told  them  to  drive  up  to  the  door,  just  to 
save  appearances  before  the  servants.  You  can 
explain  all  afterwards." 

Mr.  Storer  was  at  the  door  when  the  carriage 
stopped,  and  stepping  forward,  with  a  smile  of 
welcome,  exclaimed,  "  Altered  your  mind,  eh  ? 
Come  to  dinner  ?  that's  right — glad  to  see  you 
—  take  us  as  we  are  —  nobody  else — just  the 
right  number." 


40  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Sir  William  being  on  the  farther  side  of  the 
carriage,  now,  very  much  to  the  surprise  of  his 
nephew,  by  whom  alone  he  was  heard,  muttered, 
"  There's  no  dinner  prepared  at  the  hall,  that's 
certain,  so,  like  an  old  soldier,  I  '11  just  quarter 
upon  the  enemy  for  once,  for  this  ride  has  given 
me  an  appetite.*" 

They  were,  as  before,  ushered  into  the  draw- 
ing-room, from  whence  Bernard,  vexed  at  Mr. 
Storer's  more  than  usual  blunt  familiarity  and 
the  preposterous  stiffness  of  his  uncle,  went 
forth  upon  the  lawn,  in  hopes  of  finding  some- 
body more  agreeable. 

No  sooner  was  his  back  turned,  than  Mr. 
Storer  shook  Sir  William  warmly  by  the  hand, 
and  Sir  William,  laying  aside  all  his  stiffness, 
returned  the  shake  most  heartily,  and  they  both 
gave  way  to  a  fit  of  merriment  and  self-congra- 
tulation, which  would  very  much  have  astonish- 
ed poor  Bernard,  had  he  beheld  them. 

In  order  to  account  for  this  apparently  incon- 
sistent behaviour  on  the  part  of  the  two  elders, 
it  is  necessary  to  go  back  to  the  festivities  of 
Audrey  on  the  day  when  our  hero  came  of  age. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  41 

The  reader  will,  perhaps,  recollect  that  Sir 
William,  after  being  much  annoyed  by  his  ne- 
phew's particular  attention  to  Alicia,  resolved  to 
have  some  talk  with  her  father,  and  thereby  to 
ascertain  what  sort  of  man  he  was,  as  the  Reve- 
rend Mr.  Kenemall  could  give  him  no  satisfac- 
tory account.  On  the  knight'*s  appearance  in 
the  marquee,  Mr.  Storer,  under  the  influence  of 
old  madeira,  had  reached  that  state  wherein 
even  the  humble  care  little  about  the  world  or 
the  world's  opinion ;  and  as  the  person  in  ques- 
tion was  seldom  apt  to  consult  the  latter  at  any 
time,  his  self-elevation  and  feelings  of  independ- 
ence were  now  in  proportion.  It  was  not  ex- 
actly thus  with  his  companions,  whom  the  pre- 
sence of  their  host  reminded  that  they  were 
exceeding  the  bounds  usually  adopted  in  good 
society,  and  they  forthwith  broke  up  their  sit- 
ting, somewhat  abruptly,  to  the  mortification  of 
poor  Mr.  Storer,  who  was  left  alone  with  Sir 
William. 

"  I  am  glad  to  see  you  enjoy  yourself,  sir,'' 
said  the  knight. 

"  Thank  you.  Sir  William,"  was  the  reply. 


42  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  This  madeira  of  your's  is  excellent.     I  should 
recommend  you  to  take  a  glass.**' 

"  Perhaps  your  advice  is  judicious,"  observed 
the  inquisitive  knight,  taking  a  seat  by  the  side 
of  his  free  and  easy  guest,  with  a  resolution  of 
knowing  something  about  him  ere  they  parted. 

"  I  have  the  pleasure  of  drinking  your  good 
health,  Mr.  Scoresby,  I  believe?  If  I  am 
wrong,  pray  excuse  me  to-day,  as  I  have  really 
so  many  new  names  to  remember,  that  my  head 
is  quite  bewildered." 

"  Very  excusable,  Sir  William;  so  is  mine 
a  little  with  this  jigging  music.  No,  sir,  my 
name  is  Storer,  of  the  firm  of  Storer,  Heaviside, 
and  Lapwell,  of  Mincing  Lane,  London,  and  of 
Calcutta." 

Sir  William  was  most  highly  delighted  and 
surprised,  for  he  well  knew  the  name  of  the 
house,  and  the  magnitude  of  their  concerns. 

"  You,  perhaps,  do  not  think  any  better  of 
me  for  not  being  a  regular  country  squire,  eh. 
Sir  William  ?  Well,  never  mind ;  hate  false 
colours — no  occasion  for  'em,  that's  one  com- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  43 

fort.  Bought  a  little  estate  near  you — pretty 
place.     Glad  to  see  you  in  a  family  way." 

"  You  must  favour  me  with  a  call  first,"  said 
Sir  William.  "  I  think  we  shall  soon  find  that 
we  know  some  mutual  friends.  I  shall  enjoy 
half  an  hour's  friendly  chat  with  you  exceed- 
ingly, when  we  can  be  quiet ;  but  to-night  I 
must  be  everywhere,  for  my  nephew  is  among 
the  dancers. 

"  Very  true,"  observed  Mr.  Storer ;  "  and 
so  is  my  Alicia,  the  dear  girl.  Good  girl  too. 
Sir  William  ;  can  give  her  a  trifle.  A  lack  and 
a  lass  together  no  bad  things,  eh  ?  But — mum. 
I  never  talk  about  those  matters.  I  believe 
I  've  taken  a  trifle  too  much  of  that  madeira — 
old  though,  very  old — never  does  any  harm 
then — but  enough's  enough.  Shall  go  and 
look  at  the  dancers." 

Accordingly  they  took  their  way  to  the  scene 
of  juvenile  enjoyment ;  and  when  they  were 
seen  to  approach  by  the  young  couple,  the  ap- 
parent high-words  were  nothing  more  than  the 
elevation  of  voice  usual  with  the  merchant  on 


44'  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

such  occasions,  which,  however,  were  very  rare, 
and  easily  recognised  by  his  daughter. 

When  Mr.  Storer  subsequently  called  at 
Audrey  Hall,  he  and  Sir  William  did,  as  they 
anticipated,  very  soon  find  a  considerable  num- 
ber of  mutual  friends  ;  for,  although  the  former 
had  never  been  in  the  East,  there  were  few  per- 
sons of  importance  on  the  Calcutta  side  with 
whom,  from  the  extent  of  his  connexions,  he 
had  not  been  brought  in  contact.  Sir  William's 
services  had  been  on  the  other  side ;  but,  never- 
theless, the  "  firm"  in  Mincing  Lane  was  well 
known  to  him. 

Their  next  topic  of  conversation  was  Ber- 
nard's particular  attention  to  Alicia,  concerning 
which  they  soon  came  to  an  understanding.  Sir 
William  mentioned  the  expected  family  baro- 
netcy, and  gave  his  nephew  such  a  character,  as 
might  have  satisfied  any  father.  Mr.  Storer 
felt  that  he  could  not  have  any  objections  to  the 
match,  but  agreed  with  the  knight  in  thinking 
it  better  that  the  young  gentleman  should  re- 
main in  ignorance  of  the  lady"'s  expectations ; 
and  the  knight  himself,  having  some  recollection 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  45 

of  events  which  occurred  in  long  bygone  days, 
was  of  opinion  that  stolen  fruit  always  tasted  the 
sweetest. 

When  they  were  walking  round  the  grounds 
on  the  morning  of  Sir  Wilham's  call  at  Max- 
dean,  the  exact  state  of  things  had  been  mutu- 
ally explained ;  but  they  agreed  that  the  since- 
rity of  the  lover's  attachment  should  be  put  to 
the  proof  in  the  manner  just  related. 

As  he  had  now  undergone  the  ordeal,  the 
only  question  was  how  long  the  young  couple 
should  be  kept  in  suspense,  and  that  was  soon 
settled,  as  we  shall  see  presently. 

In  the  mean  while  Bernard  and  Alicia  were 
walking  slowly  along  their  favourite  shady  walk, 
making  certain  philosophical  remarks  respecting 
the  cold,  calculating  feelings,  or,  rather,  want  of 
feeling,  attendant  on  old  age.  He  related  to 
her  what  had  passed  between  Sir  William  and 
himself;  and,  notwithstanding  the  lover-like 
"  perfectibility"  in  which  he  viewed  his  mis- 
tress, felt  some  degree  of  trepidation  when  men- 
tioning the  necessary  abandonment  of  his  claim 
to  the  baronetcy  ;  for  he  was  aware  how  partial 


46  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

young  ladies  commonly  are  to  being  called  by 
the  title  of  "  Lady." 

Alicia,  however,  made  very  light  of  the 
affair,  and  so  convinced  Bernard  that  she  pos- 
sessed a  very  extraordinary  strength  of  mind, 
while,  in  reality,  her  apparent  nonchalance 
arose  from  a  consciousness  that,  if  Sir  William 
thought  fit  to  give  up  the  claim,  her  father 
could  very  well  afford  to  resume  it,  and,  from 
his  business-like  habits,  would,  most  probably, 
bring  the  matter  more  speedily  to  a  conclusion. 
But,  as  she  did  not  think  proper  to  say  so  much 
on  the  present  occasion,  she  was  compelled  to 
hear  divers  compliments  on  her  judicious  esti- 
mate of  empty  honours,  which  could  not  bestow 
happiness  on  the  possessor,  whereas  sincere  and 
devoted  affection  wanted  nothing  but — 

The  daily  dinner-bell  here  sounded,  and  cut 
the  subject  short ;  and  presently  the  little  party 
were  sitting  at  table,  as  Mr.  Storer  said,  '*  Quite 
in  a  family  way.*"  Sir  William  conducted  him- 
self with  most  magnificent  condescension,  taking 
wine  alternately  with  both  the  ladies,  his  host, 
and  his  nephew,  whom  he  stiffly  addressed  as 
"  Mr.  Audrey." 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  47 

Nobody  appeared  to  feel  at  ease,  save  the 
master  of*  the  house,  who  discharged  his  volleys 
of  broken  sentences  with  as  much  careless  free- 
dom as  though  the  pompous  knight  had  been 
one  of  his  own  clerks.  Indeed  it  occasionally 
seemed  as  though  he  meant  to  ridicule  the  old 
gentleman's  stiffness  by  his  display  of  contempt 
for  ceremony.  At  length  the  cloth  was  remov- 
ed, the  dessert  was  on  the  table,  the  servants 
had  left  the  room,  and  the  knight  was  more 
ceremoniously  attentive  to  the  ladies,  and,  if 
possible,  more  ridiculously  stiff  than  ever ;  at 
least,  so  thought  his  nephew  :  but  none  of  these 
things  affected  Mr.  Storer,  who  filled  his  glass, 
and  rallied  every  one  by  turns,  and  appeared 
"  quite  in  his  glory .^*' 

Poor  Bernard  was  extremely  mortified,  for  he 
felt  convinced  that  his  father-in-law  elect  was 
sinking  gradually,  in  Sir  William's  opinion,  to 
the  level  of  a  very  common  "  grocer"  indeed. 
As  he  could  not  obtain  his  uncle's  consent  to  his 
union  with  Alicia,  his  wish  had  been  that  he 
should  leave  the  house  with,  at  least,  no  in- 
crease of  prejudice  against  the  connexion ;  but 


48  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

all  hope  on  that  head  was  now  at  an  end,  and 
he  longed  for  the  time  when  the  carriage  should 
be  ordered  to  the  door. 

In  due  course  the  ladies  retired,  and  Ber- 
nard's uneasiness  increased  in  proportion,  as 
there  was  now  no  one  but  himself  to  divert  Mr. 
Storer's  attention  from  the  knight,  who  exhibit- 
ed an  appearance  of  ludicrous  distress,  which 
might  have  amused  the  young  gentleman  in 
any  other  person,  and  under  different  circum- 
stances. He  was  now  about  to  part  from  that 
uncle  who  had,  up  to  the  last  few  hours,  been 
the  friend  of  his  youth  !  Perhaps  they  might 
never  again  sit  at  the  same  table  !  The  thought 
was  painful,  and  he  resolved  to  show  him  every 
possible  mark  of  respect,  even  at  the  risk  of 
offending  Mr.  Storer,  of  whose  goodness  of  dis- 
position, however,  he  had  such  an  opinion,  as 
not  to  be  apprehensive  of  any  lasting  or  serious 
consequences.  Sir  Wilham  perceived  his  anx- 
iety, and  doubtless  properly  appreciated  his 
attentions,  inasmuch  as  he  forgot  himself  so  far 
as  to  call  him  by  the  accustomed  familiar  name 
of   "  Bernard."      This   was   gratifying   to   the 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  49 

young  man'*s  feelings,  who  could  not  help  fan- 
cying that  it  augured  well  for  a  future  recon- 
ciliation ;  and  he  was  indulging  himself  in  a 
momentary  reverie  to  that  effect,  when  he  was 
startled,  and  all  his  dreams  dispersed,  by  Mr. 
Storer,  who  suddenly  exclaimed, 

"  Come,  Sir  William,  what  say  you  to  begin- 
ning this  bottle  of  madeira  ?  Two  and  forty  years 
old,  sir ;  has  been  three  times  to  the  East.  Your''s 
is  good — capital ;  but  this — w  ell — I  '11  say  no- 
thing— judge  for  yourself.  Come,  a  bumper! 
Ay,  and  one  of  these  your  right  sort  of  glasses  !**' 
and  filling  one,  of  no  common  dimensions,  to 
the  brim,  he  passed  the  decanter  to  the  knight, 
saying,  *'  No  daylight,  mind — a  bumper  I" 

Greatly  as  Bernard  was  surprised  by  this 
downright  manner  of  forcing  his  venerable  guest 
to  swallow  such  an  unusual  quantity  of  wine, 
his  attention  was  quickly  called  to  the  extraor- 
dinary behaviour  of  his  uncle,  who  took  the  de- 
canter, and  implicitly  obeyed  the  commands  of 
his  host ;  and,  then,  looking  him  in  the  face, 
with  the  gay  air  of  a  boon  companion,  said, 
"  Come,  sir,  I  look  to  you  for  the  toast." 

VOL.  I.  D 


50  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

A  thought  flashed  across  the  youth's  mind 
that  the  old  gentleman  had  already  taken  too 
much,  and  he  exclaimed,  "  My  dear  uncle  !  let 
me  entreat  of  you  not  to  take  that  wine.  If 
you  recollect,  you  told  me  the  other  day,  that 
you  were  never  so  well  as  when  you  confined 
yourself  to  half-a-dozen  glasses,  and  you  have 
already — I  'm  sure  Mr.  Storer  will  excuse  you.'' 

"  I  'm  sure  I  shall  do  no  such  thing,"  said 
Mr.  Storer. 

''  And  I  'm  sure  I  shan't  excuse  myself !"  ex- 
claimed Sir  William.  "  So — come,  sir,  out 
with  your  toast !  — and  then  I  '11  tell  you  what  I 
think  of  your  supernaculum." 

"  Standing  ?"  cried  Mr.  Storer. 

"  With  all  my  heart,"  replied  the  now  jovial 
old  knight. 

"  My  dear  uncle  !"  exclaimed  Bernard. 

•'  Nonsense,  boy  !"  said  Sir  William.  "  Let 
us  old  fellows  have  our  own  way  for  once.  You 
shall  have  a  bumper  presently,  but  it's  not 
your  turn  yet.  Come,  Storer,  my  boy ;  give 
the  word  I     I  'm  ready  on  my  pins." 

*'  Well  then,"  said  Mr.  Storer,  "  here 's  to 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLExMAN.  51 

the  young  couple  !  Long  life,  health,  and  hap- 
piness attend  them  !  and  may  you  and  I  be  as 
merry  and  as  hearty  as  we  are  now,  at  the 
christening  of  young  Bernard  and  little  Alicia, 
and  half-a-score  more,  for  aught  I  care." 

"  The  young  couple  !  Bernard  and  Alicia  ! 
Long  life,  health  and  happiness  to  them !  and 
all  the  rest,"  cried  Sir  William.  And  then 
they  both  emptied  their  glasses,  shook  hands, 
and  sat  down  ;  and  the  knight,  looking  his 
astonished  nephew  in  the  face,  said  gaily — 

"  I  hope  now,  Sir,  that  you  Ml  never  prevent 
me  from  taking  a  bumper  again,  whenever  I 
feel  disposed." 

Bernard  stared,  and  then  shut  his  eyes,  and 
put  his  hands  before  them  —  and,  anon,  opened 
them  again,  and  commenced  a  very  bungling 
speech,  by  way  of  "  returning  thanks  ;"  but, 
finding  that  he  could  make  nothing  of  it,  he 
started  upon  his  legs  and  bolted  out  of  the 
room,  to  tell  Alicia  the  joyful  news. 

"  Good  day's  work  !""  said  Mr,  Storer. 
"  Fine  young  fellow  !  Likes  Alicia,  I  really 
believe.     Good  girl,   too.     Good  daughter  al- 

D  2 


UNIVERSITY  OF 
ILLINOIS  LIBRARY 


52  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

ways  makes  good  wife.  Fell  in  love  first  meet- 
ing— all  right,  first  love  both  sides,  eh  ?^' 

"  This  is  a  happy  day  for  me,"  observed  Sir 
William.  "  The  youth  has  always,  hitherto, 
conducted  himself  with  such  propriety,  that  I 
have  had  no  other  anxiety  about  him  except 
what  related  to  his  marriage  ;  and  really  there 
are  so  many  chances  against  a  young  man's 
choosing  preciselj/  as  one  could  wish,  that  I 
have  often  been  troubled  with  misgivings." 

"  Ay,  ay,  know  what  you  mean,"  said  Mr. 
Storer  ;  ''  same  with  me  about  AUv.  Never 
said  I  could  give  her  a  penny —  people  found  it 
out,  though.  Obliged  to  leave  off  going  to 
Margate,  Hastings,  and  Brighton.  Pack  of 
fools  buzzing  round  her  always.  Bought  this 
place  on  purpose  to  be  snug.  Nobody  knows 
me  here — ^ wonder  you  did.  Never  would  have 
found  me  out  but  for  that  madeira,  eh  ?  Never 
does  any  harm,  that.     Take  another  glass  !" 

The  mutual  and  self  congratulations  of  the 
two  worthy  elders  were  suddenly  interrupted 
by  the  entrance  of  the  lovers  and  the  good  lady 
of  the   house ;    and  immediately   there    was  a 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  53 

scene  enacted  by  the  various  individuals  of, 
what  might  now  be  very  justly  called,  the 
family  party.  Sir  William  pressed  Alicia's 
hand,  then  kissed  it,  and  then  gave  it  to  Ber- 
nard, who,  forthwith,  took  the  same  liberties, 
and  one  or  two  more  not  worth  mentioning. 
Mr.  Storer  embraced  his  child,  and  then  kissed 
his  wife,  and  then  shook  Bernard  by  the  hand, 
and  insisted  upon  it  that  all  three  should  sit 
down  and  take  a  glass  of  the  old  madeira. 

The  remainder  of  that  day  was  spent,  by  the 
uncle  and  father,  in  talking  over  the  "  settle- 
ment," and  other  arrangements  of  importance, 
needful  before  the  ceremony  which  was  to  unite 
their  families.  Each  appeared  perfectly  satis- 
fied with  what  the  other  proposed,  and  both 
agreed,  that  it  might  be  as  well  to  wait,  for  a 
few  weeks,  to  ascertain  whether  there  was  any 
prospect  of  a  speedy  recovery  of  the  baronetcy, 
and  then,  if  procrastination  still  continued  to 
be  the  order  of  the  day  among  the  lawyers  and 
antiquaries,  matters  were,  nevertheless,  to  take 
their  course,  and  the  young  couple  were  to  be 
put  into  possession  of  Audrey  Hall. 


54  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

While  the  old  people  were  making  these 
arrangements,  Bernard  and  Alicia  were  likewise 
engaged  in  talking  over  theirs,  not  exactly  with 
the  same  precision,  but  yet,  in  a  manner  which 
was  tolerably  rational,  considering  that  they 
were  lovers.  What  is  still  more  unusual  was, 
that  their  plans  accorded  with  those  of  their 
elders,  for  they  also  thought  it  would  be  better 
to  ascertain  how  the  question  of  the  baronetcy 
really  stood,  though  the  eventful  issue  neither 
would,  should,  or  could,  make  any  difference  in 
their  affection.  And  of  the  sincerity  and  dura- 
tion of  the  latter  they  exchanged  and  repeated 
manifold  declarations,  as  is  usual  in  such  cases. 

Sir  William  Audrey  and  his  nephew  slept 
that  night  at  Maxdean  Hall,  and  were  each 
blessed  with  exceedingly  pleasant  dreams,  not 
quite  so  much  at  variance  with  each  other  as 
those  of  old  and  young  too  commonly  are. 
Both  saw  a  wedding,  and  beheld  their  antient 
family  seat  restored  to  its  former  grandeur,  and 
the  surrounding  park  and  grounds  changed 
from  desolate  wildness  into  tastefully  arranged 
and  picturesque  beauty. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  55 

On  the  morrow  the  whole  party  went  over  to 
the  said  mansion,  and  Sir  William  made  known 
his  intention  of  resigning  it  to  Bernard,  who, 
consequently,  consulted  Alicia's  taste  respecting 
the  improvements  projected  and  in  progress ; 
and  in  order  that  she  might  be  able  to  judge 
properly,  deemed  it  necessary  that  they  should 
walk,  drive,  or  ride  in  every  direction  together. 

All  this  could  not  be  accomplished  in  one 
day,  and  so  there  was  a  constant  going  to  and 
fro  from  Audrey  to  Maxdean  Hall,  and  vice 
versa.  The  happy  young  couple  were  ever 
together,  and  time  flew  by  with  the  rapidity 
which  he  always  spitefully  persists  in  whenever 
we  particularly  wish  him  to  linger.  And  the 
claim  to  the  baronetcy,  too,  went  on  most  pro- 
misingly, as  all  the  Audreys  who  were  living 
two  centuries  back,  were  now  clearly  ascertain- 
ed to  be  defunct,  with  the  exception  of  one 
tough  old  soldier,  who,  being  a  bachelor  at 
eighty-four  years  of  age,  had  gone  upon  an 
excursion  into  Scotland,  for  the  purpose  of  en- 
joying his  favourite  sport  of  angling.  But, 
even  to  him  a  clue  was  found,  by  the  accidental 


56  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

turning  up  of  a  letter  among  the  family  papers 
in  an  old  chest.  This  letter  was  written  by 
him  from  the  banks  of  the  Eden,  where  he  had 
become  domesticated  in  the  house  of  a  laird, 
and  committed  immense  havoc  among  the  finny 
tribe.  As  everybody  and  everything  is  known 
and  recollected  for  a  hundred  years  in  that 
country,  even  as  a  matter  of  yesterday,  no 
doubt  was  felt  as  to  the  certainty  of  tracking 
the  veteran  sportsman  to  his  last  quarters. 

Our  young  hero,  thus  blessed  with  health, 
wealth,  the  approbation  of  friends,  and,  more 
than  all,  with  the  affection  of  her  whose  love 
alone  he  sought,  appeared  to  have  nothing  left 
to  wish  for.  It  had  been  well  for  him  if  he 
had  contented  himself  with  the  possession  of  all 
that  any  mortal  ought  to  desire ;  but  foolish 
wishes  are  ever  occurring  to  us  poor  mortals, 
though  happily  they  are  not  often  granted, — 
if  they  were,  many  of  us  might  be  as  sadly 
perplexed  and  harassed  in  consequence  as  was 
poor  Bernard  Audrey. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  57 


CHAPTER  III. 

During  four  weeks  our  lovers  continued  in 
the  full  enjoyment  of  all  the  manifold  and  deli- 
cious pleasures  attendant  upon  that  period 
which  has  often  been  called  the  happiest  of 
mortal  existence,  namely,  the  period  of  proba- 
tion before  marriage. 

It  was  now  the  month  of  September.  Sir 
William  Audrey  had  gone  to  Cheltenham,  in 
order  to  recruit  strength  sufficient  to  endure 
the  fatigues  of  the  wedding  dinner,  consequent 
visits,  &c. ;  in  all  of  which  he  proposed  to  play 
a  distinguished  part.  The  masons,  carpenters, 
bricklayers,  painters,  gardeners,  and  labourers, 
were  busily  engaged  in  and  about  Audrey  Hall, 
and  Bernard  now  and  then  went  to  observe 
their  progress,   when  he  could   spare  an  hour 

D  5 


58  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

from  the  delights  of  Maxdean,  where  Mr. 
Storer  had  invited  him  to  spend  a  week  or  two, 
as  he  could  not  be  accommodated  in  his  own 
house. 

The  family  party  was  now  likewise  increased 
by  the  arrival  of  two  of  Alicia's  former  school 
companions,  Miss  Charlotte  Read  and  Miss  Emily 
Hitchins,  to  both  of  whom  she  had  vowed  ever- 
lasting friendship :  but  Charlotte  Read  was  her 
*'  very  particular.*"  These  young  ladies  ''  highly 
approved"  of  the  choice  made  by  their  dear 
friend,  and  Bernard,  in  return,  highly  approved 
of  them,  and  conducted  himself  towards  them 
with  as  much  politeness  as  could  be  expected 
from  a  person  in  his  circumstances.  A  single 
day  sufficed  to  put  them  upon  a  footing  of  easy 
familiarity ;  and  he  and  Alicia  went  out  and 
came  in  as  they  thought  fit,  leaving  the  spin- 
sters to  amuse  each  other. 

Yet  there  were  times  when  the  three  young 
ladies  appeared  to  enjoy  being  by  themselves, 
and  on  such  occasions,  as  far  as  Bernard  could 
judge  from  a  transient  glimpse  through  the 
windows  they  enjoyed  themselves  exceedingly. 


.      THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  59 

It  cannot  be  said  that  he  envied  their  pleasure, 
for  he  was  pleased  to  see  them  happy,  and 
assuredly  he  had  no  suspicions  of  any  backbit- 
ing or  plots  against  himself,  for  he  felt  that  he 
was  a  favourite  with  all  three  ;  yet  he  could  not 
avoid  wishing  to  know  what  they  were  talking 
about.  Now  young  ladies  have  their  little 
secrets,  and  it  is  a  dangerous  thing  to  attempt 
to  meddle  with  them,  as  full  many  a  luckless 
wight  has  found  to  his  cost,  though  probably 
very  few  have  been  punished  precisely  in  the 
same  way  as  Bernard  Audrey. 

The  fatal  day  was  one  of  extreme  loveliness  ; 
every  tree,  shrub,  flower,  and  plant  in  the 
sweet  little  pleasure-grounds  of  Maxdean,  ap- 
peared to  have  arrived  at  its  maturity  of  beauty. 
The  leaves  were  tinted  with  the  various  hues  of 
autumn,  but  had  not  begun  to  fall ;  the  air  was 
fragrant,  and  seemed  merry  with  the  joyous 
melody  of  birds  ;  the  very  grass  of  the  smooth- 
shaven  lawn  appeared  to  rejoice  in  a  deeper 
green  than  usual ;  and  as  Bernard  passed  over 
it,  he  felt  and  said  to  himself  that  he  was  com- 
pletely happy,   for,  besides  all  the  favourable 


60  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

circumstances  with  which  he  was  blessed,  he, 
moreover,  was  endued  with  a  keen  perception 
and  relish  for  the  charms  of  nature.  Thus,  light 
of  heart,  he  gaily  crossed  the  lawn,  and  advan- 
ced to  one  of  the  French  windows  of  the  little 
drawing-room  before  mentioned,  and  looking  in, 
beheld  the  three  fair  friends  engaged  in  earnest 
conversation.  But  the  folding-doors  were  closed 
and  fastened,  and  as  soon  as  the  young  ladies 
perceived  him,  they  laughed,  and  then  rose  up 
and  came  to  the  window,  and  told  him  good- 
humouredly  to  go  about  his  business,  as  he  was 
not  wanted  there  just  at  present.  He  said 
something  about  its  being  "  a  sin  to  stay  in 
doors  on  such  a  day ;""  upon  which  Alicia 
bade  him  go  and  enjoy  himself  alone  for  half  an 
hour,  and  then  they  would  all  come  out  toge- 
ther. After  another  slight  effort  to  entice  her 
out  immediately,  finding  that  the  three  charm- 
ing faces  only  laughed  at  him  through  the  glass, 
he  laughed  likewise,  and  then,  like  a  dutiful 
lover,  obeyed  the  commands  of  his  mistress,  and 
went  his  way,  in  exceeding  good-humour  with 
himself,  the  ladies,  and  all  the  world. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  61 

Little  did  he  dream  what  was  about  to  hap- 
pen when  he  entered  an  arbour,  thickly  covered 
with  jessamine,  woodbine,  and  roses,  and  threw 
himself  upon  a  seat,  where  he  had  passed  many 
trance-like  hours  with  Alicia.  "  I  should  like 
to  know  what  they  are  now  talking  about,"  he 
exclaimed.     *'  I  wish  I  was  invisible  !" 

No  wish  could  possibly  be  much  more  ridicu- 
lous, but  it  struck  his  fancy  at  the  moment,  and 
he  again  repeated  it ;  and  then  allowing  his 
imagination  to  play  with  tl^e  idea  for  a  minute 
or  two,  he  became  highly  excited  by  the  sport 
which  it  presented  to  his  view,  and  again  he 
ejaculated,  "  What  a  glorious  thing  it  would 
be  !     I  do,  indeed^  wish  I  could  be  invisible  !" 

The  number  three  has  long  been  celebrated 
for  its  potency,  both  for  good  and  evil ;  and  no 
sooner  had  the  third  exclamation  passed  his 
lips,  than  he  heard  a  short  cough,  not  many 
yards  from  the  place  where  he  was  sitting:  In- 
stantly starting  up,  he  looked  out  from  among 
the  clustering  tendrils,  and  beheld  a  stranger, 
walking  slowly  towards  the  bower.  "  Who  can 
he  be  T'  was  the  first  question  he  asked  himself. 


62  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

*'  I  must  surely  have  heard  if  any  visiter  had 
arrived  since  I  have  been  sitting  here." 

The  unknown  continued  to  move  on  leisurely, 
every  now  and  then  coughing,  more  as  if  to 
give  notice  of  his  approach  than  as  though  it 
were  absolutely  necessary.  He  was  altogether 
a  person  of  very  singular  appearance,  elderly, 
thin,  and  remarkably  pale,  even  to  a  degree  of 
whiteness  which  prevented  the  features  of  his 
countenance  from  being  distinctly  visible  :  eyes, 
nose,  lips,  and  even  his  hair,  seemed  to  partake 
of  the  same  want  of  tint.  AVhen  he  came  to 
the  entrance  of  the  bower,  he  stopped,  and 
looking  in  upon  Bernard,  (who  had  shrunk 
into  a  corner,  in  order  to  avoid  making  a  per- 
haps troublesome  acquaintance,)  made  an  apo- 
logy for  his  intrusion. 

"  You  are  probably  seeking  for  Mr.  Storer, 
sir,"  observed  our  hero  ;  "  if  so,  you  will  find 
him  at  the  hot-houses,  where  he  has  some  men 
at  work." 

"  If  you  will  permit  me,"  said  the  elderly 
gentleman,  "  I  will  take  a  seat  here  for  a  mi- 
nute or  two,  as  I  feel  somewhat  fatigued,"  and. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  63 

without  waiting  for  any  reply,  he  placed  him- 
self by  the  side  of  Bernard,  who,  marvelHng 
much,  began  guessing  who  his  new,  free  and 
easy  friend  might  possibly  be. 

**  You  are  wondering  who  I  am,  I  dare  say," 
observed  the  white-faced  old  gentleman,  "  and 
perhaps  can't  understand  how  I  got  admit- 
tance here,  when  I  tell  you  that  I  have  neither 
acquaintance  nor  business  with  Mr.  Storer. 
But  the  fact  is,  that  I  am  in  possession  of  a 
most  wonderful  secret,  by  means  of  which  I  go 
just  wherever  I  please.  All  places  are  open  to 
me ;  no  person  can  prevent  me  from  passing, 
even  into  the  presence  of  royalty,  where  indeed 
I  have  often  stood  without  the  knowledge  even 
of  the  king  himself." 

Bernard  listened  to  this  extraordinary  state- 
ment, and  decided  that  the  speaker  must  be  a 
stray  member  of  a  lunatic  asylum  not  far  dis- 
tant, and  with  that  idea  resolved  to  humour 
him  till  the  arrival  of  some  of  the  people  from 
the  establishment,  where  he  would,  doubtless, 
soon  be  missed.  The  old  gentleman's  paleness 
and  shrivelled  appearance  offered,  he  thought. 


64  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

a  sufficient  security  against  any  danger  from 
personal  violence,  in  case  of  a  paroxysm.  With 
this  philanthropic  view  he  remarked,  "  Indeed, 
Sir,  yours  must  be  a  most  valuable  secret,  and 
doubtless  has  been  the  result  of  deep  study  ?" 

"  Not  exactly,'*'  replied  he  of  the  indistinct 
features ;  "  I  acquired  the  secret  in  the  space 
of  less  than  a  minute,  and  in  that  time  could 
communicate  it  to  any  one  of  common  under- 
standing, if  I  thought  proper." 

"  I  should  be  sorry,"  said  our  hero,  '*  to 
seem  impertinently  inquisitive,  but  may  I  be 
allowed  to  ask  the  nature  of  the  discovery 
which  you  have  made,  without  for  a  moment 
presuming  to  inquire  into  hidden  mysteries  or 
occult  causes  ?'' 

•*  It  is  most  likely  that  you  wdll  be  incredu- 
lous," observed  the  pale-faced  stranger. 

"  You  need  not  be  apprehensive  on  that 
score,  I  assure  you,"  replied  Bernard,  "  for  I 
am  perfectly  aware  that  the  small  stock  of 
knowledge  which,  at  my  years,  I  have  been 
able  to  pick  up,  is  barely  sufficient  to  conduct 
me  to  the  verge  of  the  abstruse  sciences.     At 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  65 

your  time  of  life  you  must  have  had  more  lei- 
sure, better  opportunities,  and  most  probably, 
greater  inclination  and  abilities.  Indeed,  I  am 
convinced  that,  as  Shakspeare  says,  '  there  are 
more  things  in  heaven  and  earth  than  are 
dreamt  of  in  our  philosophy.'  " 

"  You  and  he  are  both  right,"  observed  the 
indistinct-looking  elderly  gentleman ;  "  but 
nevertheless,  prepared  as  you  seem  to  be  to 
hear  something  not  '  dreamt  of  in  your  philoso- 
phy,' I  dare  say  you  will  feel  surprised  when 
I  tell  you  that  my  secret  is  neither  more  nor 
less  than  that  I  know  how  to  render  myself 
invisible  whenever  I  think  fit."" 

"  That  is  indeed  a  wonderful  secret !""  ex- 
claimed our  hero,  now  quite  confirmed  in  his 
suspicions ;  "  a  most  valuable  secret  !  I  would 
give  much  to  be  in  possession  of  it  myself. 
Nothing  would  afford  me  greater  delight  than 
the  power  of  thus  withdrawing  from  the  view 
of  others." 

"  I  can  very  easily  teach  you,"  observed  the 
pale  man. 

"  Indeed  !  I  should  be  very  much  obliged  to 


66  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

you,"  cried  Bernard,  determined,  as  he  after- 
wards said,  to  let  the  old  fellow  have  his  way, 
as  the  best  mode  of  keeping  him  in  good 
humour. 

"  Perhaps  not,""  said  the  stranger. 

"  I  assure  you  indeed  that  I  should  be  ex- 
ceedingly obliged  to  you,"  repeated  the  lover. 
"  It  would  give  me  an  infinite  deal  of  pleasure." 

"  Are  you  sure  of  that  ?''''  asked  the  pallid 
man. 

"  Certain  !''  exclaimed  Bernard  ;  '*  positive  ; 
I  have  a  particular  wish  to  be  invisible." 

The  extraordinary-looking  elderly  gentleman 
proceeded  to  make  brief  procrastinating  re- 
marks, till  he  had  led  the  young  man  to  affirm 
distinctly,  his  wish  of  being  invisible  sufficiently 
often  to  make  up  the  apparently  necessary  num- 
ber of  three  times  three.  He  then  began  rub- 
bing his  hands  and  giggling,  like  a  delighted 
child,  for  about  half  a  minute,  when  he  sud- 
denly checked  himself,  and  gravely  said,  "  You 
shall  be  in  possession  of  your  wish  immediately ; 
but  you  must  lend  me  your  ear.*' 

''  I  am  all  ear,"  replied  Bernard,   with   an 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  67 

affectation  of  profound  respect,  and  then  he 
sate  in  a  listening  attitude  to  hear,  as  he  sup- 
posed, one  of  those  whimsical  and  ingenious 
theories  which  the  strong  and  shattered  mind 
amuses  itself  in  weaving  during  the  absence  of 
that  directing  and  mysterious  principle  called 
reason. 

"  That  is  not  what  I  mean,"  said  he  of  the 
invisible  secret,  taking  two  small  boxes  from  his 
waistcoat  pocket,  and  opening  one ;  "  I  must 
rub  some  of  this  ointment  on  the  tip  of  your 
left  ear.  Don't  be  alarmed  ;  you  will  not  ex- 
perience the  smallest  inconvenience ;  and  it  is 
absolutely  necessary  in  order  to  make  you  per- 
fectly master  of  my  secret  and  my  power." 

The  young  man  was  startled,  and  at  first  he- 
sitated at  the  idea  of  trusting  an  organ  so  use- 
ful and  ornamental  as  an  ear,  in  the  hands  of 
a  deranged  person ;  but  another  glance  at  the 
meagre  frame  of  the  operator  decided  the  ques- 
tion. He  resolved  to  submit  quietly  to  the 
ridiculous  ceremony,  rather  than  risk  the  chance 
of  giving  umbrage,  and  consequently  losing  the 
eccentric  mystery  which,   he  doubted  not,  was 


68  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

to  follow.  Accordingly  he  turned  himself 
about  and  assumed  the  necessary  position,  tak- 
ing especial  care  at  the  same  time  to  be  per- 
fectly prepared  for  resistance,  in  case  his  whim- 
sical old  pale-faced  friend  should  attempt  any 
violence.  But  it  was  impossible  that  an  ear 
could  be  treated  with  more  apparent  tenderness. 
The  elderly  gentleman  handled  it  even  as 
though  he  had  been  a  professed  aurist,  and  with 
his  forefinger  and  thumb  gently  rubbed  in  a 
portion  of  the  ointment  about  that  part  which 
ladies  commonly  decorate  with  a  ring. 

"  I  must  now  do  the  same  to  the  other  ear," 
said  the  stranger,  opening  the  second  box,  and 
Bernard  immediately  shifted  his  attitude,  and 
with  some  difficulty  kept  his  countenance,  for 
his  fears  were  now  entirely  banished,  and  he 
began  to  enjoy  the  oddity  of  the  sport  exceed- 
ingly. When  the  right  ear  had  undergone  the 
same  process  as  had  been  performed  upon  its 
sinister  fellow,  the  indistinct-featured  inventor 
resumed  his  seat  and  returned  his  box  of  invisi- 
ble unction  to  his  waistcoat  pocket,  and  thus 
began : — 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  69 

**  Your  wish,  Sir,  is  now  accomplished.  You 
can  be  invisible  whenever  you  think  proper. 
You  have  nothing  else  to  do  than  to  pull  your 
left  ear,  whenever  such  is  your  desire,  and,  in- 
stantly, you  will  become  imperceptible.  And 
not  only  you,  but  every  article  that  you  carry 
about  you,  either  of  dress,  use,  or  ornament. 
When  you  are  tired  of  remaining  unseen,  just 
pull  your  right  ear,  and  you  will,  in  a  moment, 
find  yourself  as  perfectly  visible  as  you  are  now. 
There — that''s  the  whole  of  my  secret.  I  said 
that  I  could  teach  it  in  half  a  minute.  You've 
got  it  now,  and  I  Ve  no  more  to  say — so  I  wish 
you  a  good  morning." 

As  he  uttered  these  last  words,  he  rose  up, 
bowed,  and  walked  away,  at  a  much  quicker  pace 
than  he  had  practised  on  his  first  appearance. 

"  I  must  watch  where  the  poor  fellow  goes," 
said  Bernard,  humanely,  "  I  should  blame  my- 
self much  if  he  met  with  any  accident,  for  he 
appears  to  be  perfectly  harmless." 

With  this  remark,  he  left  the  bower,  and 
hurried  along  the  walk  which  the  stranger  had 
taken,    much    surprised     at    not    seeing    him. 


70  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Still  greater  was  his  astonishment,  when,  arriv- 
ing at  the  end  of  the  walk,  which  was  long  and 
straight,  he  looked  to  the  right  and  left,  and  no 
human  creature  was  to  be  seen.  "  Some  whim 
has  struck  the  unfortunate  man,"  said  he  to 
himself,  "  and  he  is  probably  concealed  among 
the  shrubs,  perhaps  watching  if  I  shall  be  such 
a  fool  as  to  begin  pulling  my  ears.  But  we 
must  get  rid  of  him  somehow,  as  the  young 
ladies  will  be  walking  out  presently ;  and  I 
cannot  suffer  Alicia  to  be  exposed  to  his  vaga- 
ries, which  may  not  perhaps  be  always  quite  so 
unobjectionable  as  this  ear-pulling  business.  I 
will  go  to  Mr.  Storer  and  request  him  to  spare 
some  of  the  workmen  to  search  for  the  poor  fel- 
low, and  we  must  contrive  to  inveigle  him  into 
the  house." 

In  pursuance  of  this  plan,  Bernard  began  to 
thread  his  well-known  way  through  a  labyrinth 
of  shady  walks  towards  the  hot-houses.  He 
had  not  proceeded  far,  ere,  giving  loose  to  the 
merriment,  which  he  contrived  to  stifle  in  the 
presence  of  his  pale  visiter,  he  exclaimed, — 
"  Poor  gentleman  !   What  a  most  extraordinary 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLExMAN.  71 

fancy !  Ha,  ha !  How,  in  the  name  of  all  that  is 
wonderful,  could  the  notion  have  first  entered 
into  his  head  ?  And  then,  the  gravity  with  which 
he  went  about  the  work  of  anointing  my  ears  I 
No  bishop,  at  a  coronation,  could  appear  more 
impressed  with  the  importance  of  his  part  in 
the  ceremony.  Really,  the  whole  affair  is  most 
delightfully  ridiculous  ;  and  after  all,  I  dare 
say  he  enjoys  himself  exceedingly,  in  the  firm 
conviction  that  he  becomes  invisible  by  just 
pulling  his  left  ear  thus ." 

Our  hero,  as  he  terminated  the  last  sentence, 
suited  the  action  to  the  word,  and  immediately 
stood  transfixed  with  astonishment.  He  saw  the 
trees,  the  shrubs,  the  gravel  walk,  on  which  he 
felt  that  he  was  yet  standing ;  but  he  could  be- 
hold no  part  of  himself,  though  he  moved  his 
hands  before  where  his  face  ought  to  be,  and 
stretched  out  one  of  his  legs,  and  then  laid  hold 
of  different  parts  of  himself,  as  if  to  ascertain 
whether  any  of  his  members  were  missing. 

"  Can  it  be  possible  ?'''^  he  exclaimed, — "  This 
is  indeed  something  not  hitherto  dreamt  of  in 
our  philosophy  !""  and  a  shivering,  uncomfort- 


72  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

able  sensation  came  over  him,  at  the  conviction 
that  the  paUid  individual,  by  whom  he  had 
been  anointed,  was  no  lunatic  after  all,  but,  too 
probably,  one  endued  with  a  very  considerable 
deal  more  cunning  than  himself. 

Still  there  was  one  consolation.  He  had 
heard  of  strange  gifts,  bestowed  by  mysterious 
strangers,  seldom  with  any  good  intent  or  even- 
tual benefit  towards  the  acceptor.  But,  in  such 
cases,  he  had  been  led  to  understand  that  it  was 
customary  for  the  giver  to  enforce  the  signature 
of  certain  bonds,  containing  hard,  impracticable, 
or  equivocal  conditions,  which  in  process  of 
time  made  the  signer  bitterly  repent  of  his 
folly.  Now,  nothing  of  that  sort  had  been  de- 
manded or  even  hinted  at,  in  the  present  in- 
stance. The  power  so  wonderfully  bestowed  upon 
him  was  a  free  gift — a  fulfilment  of  his  wishes, 
merely,  as  it  seemed,  in  consequence  of  his  hav- 
ing expressed  them.  He  had  not  even  asked  or 
dreamt  of  obtaining  such  a  singular  property. 
No  mysterious  agency  had  been  invoked — no 
suspicion  that  the  pale-faced  elderly  gentleman 
was  anything  more  or  less  than  a  common  man, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  73 

had  crossed  his  mind — and  he  had  undergone 
the  whimsical  ceremony  of  invisible  anointment 
with  feelings  which  would  bear  the  strictest  in- 
vestigation. 

Fortified  by  these  considerations,  and  consci- 
ous of  the  rectitude  of  his  own  conduct,  he  soon 
recovered  his  presence  of  mind;  and,  eventually 
terminated  his  reflections  by  congratulating 
himself  upon  what  had  happened,  and  resolv- 
ing to  use  his  imperceptible  gift  with  all  due 
discretion. 

He  had  just  arrived  at  this  conclusion,  when 
he  saw  Alicia''s  favourite  spaniel  at  the  end  of 
the  walk  in  which  he  stood.  "  Ponto,  poor 
Ponto  V  he  cried.  The  animal  pricked  up 
its  ears,  looked  wildly  about,  and  then  came 
running  towards  the  spot  from  whence  the  well- 
known  voice  proceeded,  and  struck  itself  vio- 
lently against  one  of  the  legs  of  the  now  invisi- 
ble gentleman.  Seeing  nothing,  but  feeling  the 
shock,  the  terrified  spaniel  began  yelping,  while 

Bernard  winced  and  betjan  rubbiuoj  his  unseen 

t  . 

shin,  which  had  not  escaped  harndess  in  the  col- 
lision with  Ponto's  open  mouth.     At  that  mo- 
VOL.  I.  E 


74  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

ment  he  heard  Alicia  calling  to  him,  to  know 
where  he  was. 

"  Here  I  am,**'  he  replied,  "  in  the  long, 
straight  gravel  walk.     Where  are  you  ?"" 

*'  Stay  where  you  are  then,"  she  answered, 
from  a  short  distance  among  the  trees,  "  stay 
where  you  are,  and  we  will  come  to  you  di- 
rectly." 

In  a  few  seconds  the  three  young  ladies  were 
standing  in  the  walk  not  ten  yards  from  him. 

"  He  is  not  here,"  exclaimed  Miss  Charlotte 
Read,  looking  him  full  in  the  face. 

"  It's  very  odd,"  observed  Miss  Emily 
Hitchins,  "  but  he  can't  be  very  far  off.  I'm 
sure  his  voice  sounded  in  this  direction." 

"  Where  are  you,  Bernard  .P"  exclaimed  Alicia. 

Our  hero,  much  delighted  at  the  novelty  of 
the  sport,  now  stepped  briskly  aside,  and  an- 
swered,   "  Here." 

As  he  moved,  the  young  ladies,  though  they 
saw  him  not,  perceived  a  rustling  among  the 
shrubs  by  which  he  passed,  and  Alicia  gaily 
set  Ponto  to  hunt  him  out.  The  docile  crea- 
ture, though  scarcely  recovered  from  his  alarm, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  75 

wagged  his  tail  on  receiving  his  mistress's  com- 
mand, and  bounded  forward,  obedient  to  its 
natural  instinct,  and  again  came  violently  in 
contact  with  the  invisible  legs  of  our  hero.  The 
result  was,  as  before,  a  yell  of  pain  and  terror 
on  one  side,  and  shin-rubbing  on  the  other.  To 
the  latter  Bernard  now  added  a  hasty  maledic- 
tion on  the  poor  innocent  brute,  and  then, 
making  his  way  to  a  cluster  of  laurel  bushes,  he 
stooped  down,  that  his  transformation  might 
not  be  perceived,  and  pulled  his  right  ear, 
upon  which  the  various  parts  of  his  outward 
man  appeared  clearly  and  distinctly  as  usual. 
He  forthwith  joined  the  ladies,  who  soon  no- 
ticed that  there  was  something:  odd  in  his  man- 
ner ;  and  Miss  Charlotte  Read  declared  that 
she  knew  he  had  been  in  some  mischief  by 
his  looks. 

**  Yes,"'  said  Alicia,  "  you  are  plotting  some- 
thing now,  I  'm  sure.  I  'm  determined  to  know 
what  it  is — so  you  may  as  well  tell  mc  at  once." 

Bernard  affirmed  that  he  had  no  plot  to  re- 
veal, and  had  merely  hid  himself  for  a  moment 
to  see  if  they  could  find  him. 

E  2 


76  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  It  was  very  foolish  of  you,"  observed  Ali- 
cia, taking  his  arm. 

"  And  impossible  too,"*'  added  Miss  Charlotte 
Read,  laughing :  ''  just  as  if  we  three  together 
couldn't  have  found  you,  wherever  you  were  hid, 
while  you  kept  talking."*' 

"  I  don't  think  you  would  have  been  able," 
said  Bernard. 

"  I  should  like  to  have  a  game  of  hide  and 
seek,  of  all  things  !"  exclaimed  Charlotte,  whose 
character  at  school  had  been  always  that  of  a 
determined  romp  :  "  Do,  Alicia,  let  us  have  a 
game  of  hide  and  seek  V 

•'  Are  we  not  getting  a  little  too  old  ?'*  asked 
Miss  Emily  Hilchins  demurely. 

"  No,  no,  nonsense,"  replied  Charlotte. 
"  There  's  nobody  here  but  ourselves,  so  what 
does  it  signify  what  we  do  ?  You  '11  join,  I  'm 
sure,  Alicia  ;  that 's  a  dear.  Come,  we  '11  wait 
here  till  he  calls  out  *  Whoop.'  I  never  saw  a 
better  place  for  a  game.  I  declare  I  feel  as  if  I 
was  a  school-girl  again." 

Alicia  gazed  delighted  upon  the  beautiful 
and  animated  countenance   of  her  friend,  and 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  77 

felt  that  she  could  not  refuse  to  join  in  the  in- 
nocent frolic,  although  she  would  have  prefer- 
red a  quiet  ramble  with  her  lover.  Emily 
Hitchins  was  a  good-natured,  gentle  girl,  who 
made  it  a  rule  never  to  stand  in  the  way  of  the 
gratification  of  those  whom  she  loved  ;  and  so 
the  matter  was  soon  arranged,  and  the  young 
gentleman  was  despatched  to  secrete  himself, 
and  then  to  cry  "  Whoop,"  all  in  due  form. 

Retiring  to  a  convenient  spot,  he  pulled  his 
left  ear,  and  gave  the  signal,  and  immediately 
the  three  fair  beings  began  a  hunt,  which  af- 
forded him  most  exquisite  amusement,  as  he 
followed  them  alternately  in  his  invisible  guise, 
and  ever  and  anon  puzzled  them  by  a  cry  from 
some  place  which  they  had  previously  searched. 
Old  times  seemed  to  have  come  back  upon  Char- 
lotte Read.  She  scrambled  through  the  shrubs 
and  bushes,  till  the  whole  of  her  dress  was  in 
a  most  charming  state  of  disorder.  Alicia  ap- 
peared to  have  caught  the  infection,  and  hur- 
ried to  and  fro,  while  the  glow  produced  by 
exercise  in  the  open  air,  played  upon  her 
cheeks ;    and  as  she  occasionally  stood  still  to 


78  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

take  breath,  Bernard  thought  he  had  never 
before  seen  her  look  so  beautiful.  Even  the 
sedate  Emily  looked  animated,  as  she  went 
creeping  and  peeping  under  the  shrubs  and 
round  every  corner. 

"  This  is  indeed  delightful !"  thought  the 
lover,  as  he  stood  close  by,  gazing  upon  the 
panting  and  unconscious  object  of  his  affections. 

"  What  a  couple  of  frights  we  have  made  of 
ourselves !"  she  exclaimed.  "  Do  pray,  Char- 
lotte, help  me  to  put  up  my  hair,  and  lend  me 
a  pin  or  two.  I  'm  sure  I  'm  glad  I  didn't  find 
him  just  now.  I  should  have  been  quite 
ashamed  of  myself.  I  declare  I  'm  not  fit  to  be 
seen." 

While  the  little  "  setting  to  rights"  was  going 
forward,  Bernard  withdrew  a  few  yards,  and 
pulling  a  small  branch  from  a  young  fir,  ob- 
served with  joy,  that,  even  as  the  elderly  pale 
man  had  said,  it  became  invisible  in  his  hands  ; 
but,  immediately  he  threw  it  from  him,  it  again 
became  apparent,  and  lighted  upon  the  two 
friends,  as  they  were  engaged  in  their  task. 

"  He   must   be    close    by   now,"   exclaimed 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  79 

Charlotte,  bounding  away  in  the  direction  from 
whence  the  bough  appeared  to  come,  and  leav- 
ing Alicia  to  arrange  her  dishevelled  hair  and 
et  ca^teras  as  she  might.  "  He  must  be  just 
here,""  she  cried  again ;  and,  a  moment  after, 
uttered  a  loud  shriek,  and  fell  senseless  on  the 
ground.  She  had,  in  her  haste,  rendered  it 
impossible  for  Bernard  to  get  out  of  her  way, 
and  their  heads  had  encountered  with  a  violence, 
not  only  painful  in  itself,  but  so  incomprehen- 
sible to  her,  that  she  fell,  as  much  from  alarm, 
as  from  the  effects  of  the  collision. 

*'  Help,  Bernard  !  help,  Emily  !"  cried  the 
terrified  Alicia,  running  to  the  assistance  of  her 
friend. 

Bernard  had  sufficient  presence  of  mind  to 
retreat  into  a  corner,  ere  he  ventured  to  obey 
the  summons  visibly.  No  sooner,  however,  had 
he  pulled  his  right  ear,  than  he  found  himself 
in  a  very  unfit  state  to  go  to  attend  upon  the 
young  lady  ;  his  hands  and  face  being  covered 
with  blood,  that  continued  to  issue  from  his  un- 
lucky olfactory  member,  which  had,  in  conse- 
quence of  his  being  in  a  stooping  posture,  been 


80  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

butted  at  most  furiously,  by  her  more  delicate, 
yet  much  harder  forehead. 

**  Bernard,  Bernard  ;  do  pray  come  wherever 
you  are  !"  again  cried  Alicia,  in  great  distress. 

"  Cora — comi — .  Be  wi — you — di — rectly," 
snivelled  her  lover,  as  well  as  he  was  able  ;  and 
then  hastening  forward,  struck  himself,  as  if  by 
accident,  against  a  tree,  in  order  to  account  for 
his  shocking  appearance.  No  sooner,  however, 
did  she  behold  him,  than,  instead  of  asking  any 
questions,  she  uttered  a  wild  cry  of  alarm,  and 
sank  by  the  side  of  poor  Charlotte,  leaving  him 
and  the  trembling  Emily  to  pick  them  both  up. 
But  it  luckily  happened  that  the  noise  had 
reached  the  house,  and  brought  out  Mrs.  Storer 
and  some  of  the  servants  ;  and,  a  few  moments 
after  their  arrival  upon  the  field  of  action,  just 
as  the  fallen  parties  were  coming  to  themselves, 
Mr.  Storer  likewise  made  his  appearance,  and 
much  marvelling  at  the  scene  before  him,  ex- 
claimed, "  What 's  the  matter  ?  Can't  have 
been  fighting,  sure  ?  Young  ladies !  oh,  no  ! 
Bernard  got  the  worst  though  —  all  right  that. 
But  what 's  the  matter — nobody  speak  ?'"■ 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  81 

Charlotte  was  the  first  to  recover,  and  replied 
that  it  was  all  her  fault.  "  I  was  running,  head 
foremost,  without  seeing  where  I  went,  and  ran 
against  Mr.  Audrey." 

'*'  No,  my  dear,"  said  Alicia,  revived  suffi- 
ciently to  hear  the  last  words  ;  "  he  was  not 
near  you,  I  assure  you,  for  I  was  looking  at  the 
moment  you  fell." 

"  La,  my  love  !  how  can  you  talk  so  ?''''  asked 
Charlotte.     "  Look  at  his  nose." 

"  Miss  Storer  is  right,"  observed  Bernard. 
"  I  was  running  to  your  assistance  after  you 
were  down,  when  the  branch  of  a  tree  unluckily 
took  me — " 

"  This  is  the  most  extraordinary  thing  I  ever 
heard,"  said  Charlotte,  staring  with  surprise. 
"  Why,  I  recollect  as  well  as  possible.  I  felt 
you  lay  hold  of  me,  and  cry  '  oh  !'  just  the  mo- 
ment before  I  struck  myself  so  violently,  but 
after  that  I  don't  exactly  know  what  happened." 

"  I  can  assure  you,  Charlotte,"  observed 
Emily  Hitchins,  "  that  you  need  not  blame 
yourself  for  Mr.  Audrey's  misfortune  ;  for  hear- 
ing you  call  out  '  He  is  just  here,'  I  watched 

E  5 


82  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

where  you  went,  and  saw  you  tumble  down ;  I 
couldn't  conceive  why,  because  there  appeared 
to  be  nothing  in  the  way." 

Overpowered  by  this  corresponding  evidence, 
the  bewildered  young  lady  rubbed  her  eyes,  and 
oegan  to  question  whether  she  had  yet  quite 
recovered  the  use  of  her  senses. 

"  Well,  well,"  said  Mr.  Storer ;  "  no  great 
matter  who  ran  against  —  foolish  piece  of  bu- 
siness— pretty  figures  all  of  you — something  to 
do  to  dress  for  dinner — ^be  too  late  if  you  don't 
look  sharp — never  wait  for  anybody,  mind  that. 
Nothing  the  matter  with  i/ou,  is  there  Ally  ?" 

"  No,  papa,"  replied  Alicia,  smiling,  "  I  was 
only  startled  when,  as  I  was  trying  to  lift  Char- 
lotte from  the  ground,  I  looked  up  and  saw 
what  a  frightful  figure  Mr.  Audrey  was,  lean- 
ing over  me." 

"  Enough  to  frighten  you  too,"  observed  her 
father  laughing.  "  Pretty  mess  he  's  in,  that  's 
certain,  to  attend  upon  a  lady.  Must  get 
pumped  upon,  eh  ?  Set  of  madcaps  altogether. 
Ay,  ay,  black-eyes  T  (looking  at  Miss  Read  ;) 
"  you  are  at  the  bottom  of  it  all,  I  see.     Never 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  83 

quiet  two  minutes  together,  were  you  ?  eh  ? 
Come,  don't  sit  in  the  dirt  any  longer,  either  of 
you.  Jump  up,  there's  good  girls,  and  go  and 
make  yourselves  tidy,  or  you  won't  be  ready  by 
dinner-time." 

When  the  young  ladies  were  at  their  toilet 
Charlotte  again  repeated  the  manner  in  which 
it  appeared  to  her  that  she  had  been  knocked 
down.  "  I  felt  him  seize  me  as  plainly  as  possi- 
ble," she  said,  "  and  he  grasped  me  violently 
by  both  arms,  as  if  to  prevent  me  from  falling  ; 
and  I  can  even  fancy  that  I  feel  his  grip,  just 
here — and,  look  !  I  declare,  here  are  the  marks  ! 
What  do  you  say  now  ?''^ 

Her  two  friends  could  not  deny  that  the 
prints  were  such  as  might  have  been  left  by  the 
strong  grasp  of  a  man's  hands  under  such  cir- 
cumstances, but  repeated  what  they  had  before 
said  respecting  her  fall,  when  the  evidence  of 
their  senses  convinced  them  that  no  one  was 
near  her.  But  how  to  account  for  the  said 
marks  was  somewhat  perplexing,  and  unluckily, 
Alicia  hit  upon  a  method  which  made  her  feel  a 
little  uncomfortable.     It  struck  her,  that  Char- 


84  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

lotte,  giving  way  to  her  high  spirits,  must  have 
been  ''  romping"*'  with  Bernard  when  she  was 
not  present ;  for  certainly,  when  she  had  been 
with  them  he  had  never  laid  hold  of  her  in  such 
a  manner  as  could  have  produced  the  prints  in 
question.  This  sort  of  conduct  was,  she  de- 
cided, under  existing  circumstances,  very  un- 
becoming in  both  parties;  and  Charlotte"'s  at- 
tempt to  explain  away  the  thing  in  such  an 
extraordinary  manner  was  even  yet  more  objec- 
tionable, and  gave  to  the  whole  affair  a  colour- 
ing, which  gradually  diffused  itself  over  her 
mmd,  and  made  her  resolve  to  watch  very 
closely  the  future  behaviour  of  her  lover  and 
her  "  very  particular"  friend. 

In  the  mean  while  Bernard,  while  dressing  for 
dinner,  loaded  himself  with  reproaches  for  hav- 
ing made  such  a  foolish  use  of  the  extraordi- 
nary power  with  which  he  was  endued.  He 
reflected,  that  he  had  risked  the  chance  of  dis- 
covery far  more  than  would  be  necessary  on 
really  important  occasions,  without  having  any 
object  in  view  save  that  of  indulging  a  most 
childish  gratification,  and  he  resolved  to  be 
more  guarded  for  the  future. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  85 


CHAPTER  IV. 

Bernard  Audrey  had  from  his  earliest 
youth  been  remarkable  for  the  extreme  open- 
ness and  candour  of  his  character  ;  a  falsehood 
was  a  thing  which  he  detested  in  others  to  such 
a  degree,  that  he  had  never  dreamt  of  the  possi- 
bility of  being  personally  guilty  of  such  a  mean- 
ness, so  low  and  paltry  a  vice.  Always  to 
speak  the  truth,  if  he  spoke  at  all  upon  any 
subject,  had  hitherto  been  his  maxim,  or  more 
correctly,  perhaps,  his  pride.  It  is  a  dangerous 
thing  to  be  proud,  even  of  our  virtues,  if  per- 
chance we  happen  to  have  any,  and,  be  the  fact 
in  that  particular  as  it  may,  most  people  fancy 
themselves  possessed  of  some  such  endowments. 
The  "  bold  bad  man""  glories  in  being  no  hypo- 
crite, and  even  the  vilest  of  malefactors  have 


86  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

some  mental  "  set  off"  to  counterbalance  their 
crimes,  while  thousands  and  millions 

Compoxind  for  sins  they  're  most  inclined  to 
By  damning  those  which  they  've  no  mind  to. 

Our  hero,  holding  all  descriptions  of  falsehood 
in  abhorrence,  was  not  a  little  shocked  at  find- 
ing himself  on  the  following  day  prevaricating, 
and,  at  length,  telling  a  downright  fib  to  Alicia. 
But  what  could  he  do,  when  she  told  him  of 
the  marks  which  his  rude  grasp  had  left  on  the 
arms  of  her  friend  ?  He  remembered  perfectly 
well  the  sudden  and  violent  effort  which  he  had 
made  to  save  both  her  and  himself;  but  the 
truth  could  not  be  told  without  forfeiting  all 
the  anticipated  advantages  of  his  newly-acquired 
secret ;  and  even  if  he  abandoned  all  these,  it 
was  a  question  somewhat  too  serious  to  dwell 
upon,  what  effect  the  knowledge  of  his  present 
double  character  might  have  upon  Alicia'*s 
mind,  and  consequently  upon  his  own  future 
happiness  ?  He  therefore  at  first  declared  him- 
self unable  to  account  for  the  said  marks  on 
poor  Charlotte's  arms,   then   began  to   wonder 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  87 

how  they  could  have  come  there,  and  eventually 
exclaimed  —  "  Oh  !  I  have  it  !  I  remember 
now  !  It  must  have  been  when  I  lifted  her 
from  the  ground,  after  you  called  me  to  your 
assistance.  I  recollect  thinking  at  the  time 
how  heavy  she  was,  and  was  compelled  to  take 
a  very  firm  hold." 

A  man  can  scarcely  be  a  good  liar  without 
serving  a  regular  apprenticeship  to  the  mys- 
tery, and  Bernard  was  just  entering  upon  his 
novitiate ;  therefore  it  is  not  surprising  that  this 
figment  was  but  ill  got  up.  Alicia,  however, 
affected  to  believe  it  might  be  as  he  represent- 
ed, though  a  very  little  consideration  sufficed 
to  tell  her,  that  when  a  gentleman  wished  to 
assist  a  young  lady  to  rise,  it  was  not  customary 
for  him  to  seize  her  by  the  small  of  the  arm 
and  pinch  her  black  and  blue.  There  were 
better,  and  more  graceful,  and  more  natural 
ways  of  effecting  the  purpose,  and  she  had  no 
particular  reason  for  believing  that  Bernard  was 
really  so  extremely  awkward  about  such  mat- 
ters. When  they  separated,  therefore,  her 
"  uncomfortableness"  respecting  her  "  very  par- 


88  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

ticular"  friend  and  her  lover  continued;  and 
continuance  in  such  cases  is  tantamount  to  in- 
crease, as  the  mind  is  too  apt  to  weigh  the  im- 
portance of  trifles  according  to  the  length  of 
time  which  it  has  permitted  itself  to  harbour  them. 

She  resolved  to  make  a  confidant  of  Miss 
Emily  Hitchins  upon  the  occasion,  and  ask  her 
advice.  It  was  the  first  time  that  this  young 
lady  had  been  so  highly  honoured,  her  position 
among  her  friends  being  that  of  a  good-humour- 
ed, quiet,  inoffensive  girl,  always  willing  to  do 
or  join  in  anything  that  could  afford  pleasure  to 
others,  perfectly  content  to  follow,  but  never 
presuming  to  lead. 

"  You  saw,  my  dear  Emily,'*''  said  Alicia, 
"  you  saw  very  plainly  as  well  as  I  did,  how 
Charlotte  fell  down,  and  you  know  Mr.  Audrey 
was  not  near  her.  Bless  my  heart  !'"  she  ex- 
claimed, turning  sharply  round,  "  how  1  was 
startled !  How  strange  it  is  that  the  door 
should  fly  open  thus  of  its  own  accord!'' 

The  fact  was  that  Bernard  at  that  moment 
made  his  entry  in  invisible  guise.  He  had  seen 
the  two  friends  through  the  window  in  earnest 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  89 

conversation,  and  resolved  to  make  an  experi- 
ment with  his  new  powers,  in  hopes  of  receiving 
more  gratification  than  had  attended  the  folHes 
of  the  preceding  day. 

"  Thank  you,  my  dear,"  said  Alicia  to  her 
friend,  who  shut  the  door,  "  I  declare  I  thought 
somebody  was  coining,  and  I  wouldn^t  have 
anybody  hear  us  for  the  world.  What  I  am 
going  to  say  is  in  perfect  confidence,  mind." 

"  You  may  rely  upon  me,  Alicia,''  replied 
Emily.  "  You  know  I  never  tell  anything  to 
anybody." 

"  Just  in  time,"  thought  Bernard,  while  he 
almost  felt  himself  blush  at  the  idea  of  thus 
meanly  prying  into  their  secrets. 

"  Well,  my  dear,"  continued  Alicia,  "  as  1 
was  saying,  we  both  know  that  Charlotte  did 
not  run  against  Mr.  Audrey,  as  she  pretends  to 
make  us  beHeve,  contrary  to  the  evidence  of  our 
senses;  and  so  the  marks  on  her  arm  could  not 
have  come  that  way.  Now  I  was  so  much 
frightened  when  I  saw  him  standing  over  me, 
all  covered  with  blood,  that  I  declare  I  don't 
know  what  happened  afterwards;  but  you  are 


90  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

always  so  cool  and  collected,  that  I  dare  say 
you  can  tell  me  exactly/' 

"  Oh,  dear !  there  was  nothing  particular 
happened  after  that,"  replied  Emily.  "  You 
screamed  and  fell  down,  and  Mr.  Audrey  raised 
you  up,  and  supported  your  head  with  his  arm, 
till  your  mother  and  the  servants  all  came  run- 
ning to  us." 

"  And  who  helped  Charlotte  ?''  asked  Alicia. 

"  I  helped  her  to  sit  up  as  well  as  I  could," 
answered  Emily  ;  "  but  she  very  soon  came  to 
herself ;  and  if  it  hadn't  been  for  the  comb  that 
she  broke,  I  should  have  thought  it  had  been 
all  sham,  and  that  she  hadn't  struck  herself 
against  anything  at  all.  And,  now,  I  cannot 
conceive  what  it  could  have  been,  for  she  was 
running  between  two  trees,  and  there  didn't  ap- 
pear to  be  the  least  thing  in  the  way." 

"  I  am  sure  there  wasn't,"  exclaimed  Alicia ; 
"  but  I  never  heard  a  word  about  the  broken 
comb  before.  However,  my  dear,  what  I  want 
to  know  particularly  is,  whether  you  are  quite 
sure  about  Mr.  Audrey's  not  picking  up  Char- 
lotte .?" 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  91 


(( 


Quite  —  positive,"  replied  Emily.  "  He 
never  touched  her.  It  was  exactly  as  I  told 
you  just  now.  I  held  her  up  myself,  till. your 
mamma  gave  me  her  smelling-bottle,  and  then 
I  held  it  to  her  nose,  and  she  came  to  herself 
directly,  and  pushed  it  away." 

"  I  declare — "  Alicia  began,  "  I  declare — I 
didn't  think  I  could  have  been  so  weak  ;  but  he 
has  just  been  telling  me — I  see  it  all  now  — 
what  I  shall  do  ?"  and,  throwing  herself  into  a 
chair,  she  burst  into  tears. 

At  this  sight,  Bernard  found  great  difficulty 
in  restraining  himself.  This  was  the  conse- 
quence of  his  first  lie,  which  had  been  the  natu- 
ral result  of  his  invisible  secret.  He  had  been 
previously  schooling  himself  severely  ;  and  now 
he  silently  cursed  the  elderly  pale  gentleman 
and  his  boxes  of  ointment,  and  wished  that  his 
wish  had  never  been  uttered  or  granted. 

He  was  about  to  open  the  door,  to  make  his 
retreat  unseen,  for  the  purpose  of  immediately 
returning  and  making  his  appearance^  when 
Alicia  recovered  herself  sufficiently  to  go  on 
with    the    confidential    communication    to   her 


92  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

friend.  So  he  remained  and  listened,  not  mere- 
ly  with  the  view  of  gratifying  idle  curiosity, 
but  anxious  to  learn  exactly  how  matters  stood, 
that  he  might  be  enabled  to  judge  what  line  of 
conduct  it  would  be  best  for  him  to  pursue. 
Alicia  repeated  to  Emily  what  he  had  just 
told  her,  and  then  referred  to  the  account  which 
Charlotte  had  given  of  her  fall,  and  afterwards 
continued, 

"  Now  ive  know,  Emily,  that  they  have 
both  of  them  said  what  is  not  true.  And 
why  should  they  do  so,  if  they  have  not  some 
purpose  to  answer  ?  You  know  I  am  not  suspi- 
cious. You  know  how  much  I  have  loved 
Charlotte.  I  never  had  any  secrets  with  her  ; 
and  never,  till  yesterday,  had  the  smallest  rea- 
son to  suspect  that  I  was  not  equally  in  her 
confidence.  But  there  is  something  now — that 
is  plain  enough  ;  and  when  I  think  of  the  other 
person,  it  is  almost  more  than  I  can  bear.  I 
always  considered  her  high  spirits,  though, 
perhaps,  hardly  becoming  our  present  age,  as 
perfectly  harmless  and  innocent ;   but  here  is 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  93 

art — and  cunning — and  story-telling.  Oh  !  I 
do  hate  such  ways  !  And  she  always  my  most 
particular  friend  !  But  she  never  can  be  so 
again  !"''' 

Here  poor  AHcia  again  sobbed  violently ; 
Emily  affectionately  endeavoured  to  comfort 
her;  and  Bernard;  unable  to  endure  the  scene 
any  longer,  opened  the  door  and  withdrew. 

When  the  heretofore  happy  little  circle  met 
that  day  at  dinner,  a  striking  change  was  appa- 
rent  in  the  manners  of  all  the  young  people. 
Formality  and  cold  politeness  had  usurped  the 
place  of  accustomed  ease  and  hilarity.  Char- 
lotte Read  once  or  twice  gave  way  to  her  natu- 
ral flow  of  spirits,  and  then  looked  round  with 
astonishment  at  the  singular  manner  in  which 
her  sallies  were  received.  Bernard  pitied  her, 
as  he  knew  she  was  not  to  blame,  and  strove  to 
smile ;  but,  the  instant  afterwards,  fearing  that 
his  slightest  attention  towards  her  would  be 
misinterpreted,  he  became  confused.  Alicia 
said  as  little  as  possible.  And  Emily  scarcely 
spoke  a  word,  but  sate,  as  if  her  eyes  were  ear- 


94  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

nestly  fixed  upon  her  plate,  while  ever  and  anon 
she  threw  a  suspicious  glance  towards  Char- 
lotte and  Bernard. 

"  What  in  the  world  is  the  matter  with  you 
all  to-day  ?"  exclaimed  Mr.  Storer:  "  been  play- 
ing at  hide  and  seek — run  up  against  each  other 
again,  eh  ?  Terrible  dull  — thisll  never  do  — 
never  do — Champaigne,  Jones  !  Hand  it  round ! 
Make  ""em  toss  it  off,  Bernard,  while  it''s  good 
for  something.  Hate  to  see  your  misses  and 
men-mollies,  gaping  at  the  bubbles.'" 

The  sparkling  glasses  were  filled  by  the  but- 
ler most  adroitly,  and  the  wine  was  praised  by 
all ;  but  never  was  the  effect  of  the  effervescent 
medicament  less  conspicuous. 

"  One  would  think  you  had  all  been  drinking 
still  Champaigne,  you  are  so  silent,"  said  Mr. 
Storer  —  and  then  laughed  at  his  own  joke, 
which,  bad  as  it  might  be,  he  thought  was  bet- 
ter than  none.  The  sparkling  of  his  eye,  and 
good-humoured  countenance,  seemed  to  demand 
the  tribute  of  a  smile  at  least,  and  that  tribute 
was  paid,  but  nothing  more.  There  was  none 
of  that   careless,  confiding  gaiety,  which    had 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  95 

been  wont  to  run  round  the  table.  The  alert 
principle  of  mirth,  ready  to  catch  the  half-form- 
ed joke  ere  it  fell  from  the  speaker,  and,  by 
repartee,  "  to  keep  the  game  alive,"  was  hushed 
within  every  breast. 

\yhen  poor  Mr.  Storer  had  tried,  vainly, 
every  effort  to  rouse  the  young  people  from 
their  lethargy,  he  retired  from  table,  as  soon  as 
possible  after  dinner,  under  the  pretence  of  look- 
ing after  his  work-people  at  the  hot-houses. 

"  Can't  think  what"'s  come  to  'em,**'  he  mutter- 
ed, as  he  went  along  ;  "  some  nonsense.  Lovers' 
quarrel,  I  suppose  —  make  it  up  soon  —  like 
each  other  better  afterward,  they  say.  Very 
foolish  though — got  all  that  young  folks  could 
wish  for — don't  know  what  they  want — wish  for 
the  moon  next — couple  of  fools — eh  .''" 

The  remainder  of  the  day  passed  off  as  hea- 
vily as  the  dinner,  and,  instead  of  the  wonted 
expressions  of  surprise,  that  it  should  "  already 
be  bed-time,"  all  the  young  people  pleaded  fa- 
tigue, and  retired  early. 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Storer,  left  alone  to  guess  what 
was  the  matter,  could  make  nothing  of  it ;  and, 


96  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

though  each  affected  to  treat  it  with  levity, 
while  addressing  the  other,  a  very  uncomfort- 
able feeling  predominated  in  the  minds  of  both. 
Their  daughter"'s  happiness  was  every  thing  to 
the  worthy  couple ;  and  it  was  but  too  evident, 
that  something  was  wrong  between  her  and  her 
lover  and  friends.  And  so  it  happened,  that, 
from  natural  anxiety  concerning  her,  and  think- 
ing of  what  they  had  better  do  on  the  morrow, 
in  case  the  coolness  continued,  the  good  people 
got  very  little  sleep  that  night. 

When  Bernard  found  himself  alone,  instead 
of  going  to  bed,  fatigued  and  happy,  as  hereto- 
fore, with  his  head  full  of  some  pleasant  schemes 
for  the  next  day,  he  began  restlessly  pacing  his 
apartment,  every  now  and  then  throwing  him- 
self into  a  chair,  and  giving  other  evidences  of 
a  mind  ill  at  ease.  He  had  lost  much  in  his 
own  self-esteem.  The  lie  which  he  had  told, 
now  seemed  to  stick  in  his  throat — yet,  how 
could  he  retract  it  ?  If  he  confessed  the  truth, 
he  could  not  expect  to  be  credited,  unless  he 
gave  ocular  demonstration  of  his  extraordinary 
gift.     But  in  that  case,  what  would  be  the  con- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  97 

sequences?  He  endeavoured  to  trace  them — all 
was  unsatisfactory  —  he  could  arrive  at  no  con- 
clusion. The  prejudices  of  education,  habit, 
and  superstition,  would  all  he  against  him.  Lost 
in  his  reveries,  he  gradually  allowed  his  imagi- 
nation to  glide  among  the  thousand  delightful 
uses  to  which  he  might  apply  his  invisible  pow- 
ers, if  he  kept  them  to  himself.  They  appeared 
too  important  to  be  abandoned  rashly.  He  felt 
satisfied  that  he  reaUy  possessed  Alicia's  affec- 
tions, and  resolved  to  trust  to  time,  and  her  ob- 
servations on  his  con(hict  in  future. 

"  I  shall  act  towards  her  and  her  friends  as  I 
have  always  done  hitherto,"  said  he,  "  and  then 
it  will  be  impossible  for  lier  long  to  harbour  her 
unjust  suspicions,  respecting  which,  of  course, 
I  shall  pretend  to  know  nothing.  In  the  mean 
while,  I  will  entirely  abandon  the  use  of  my 
newly  acquired  gift,  which  lias,  already,  while 
acting  in  the  most  innocent  manner,  brought  me 
into  difficulty." 

While  he  was  thus  engaged,  a  scene  was 
enacted  in  Alicia's  bed-room,  to  which  she  had 
retired  with  her  confidant  Emily,  after  they  had 

VOL.  I.  F 


98  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

both  very  coolly  wished  Miss  Read  "  a  good 
night.""  As  this  ceremony  was  performed  at  the 
head  of  the  staircase,  in  the  presence  of  one  of 
the  maid  servants,  Charlotte  did  not,  at  the 
moment,  think  fit  to  make  any  observation. 
But,  as  soon  as  the  coast  was  clear,  she  hasten- 
ed to  the  door  of  her  "  very  particular"  friend  ; 
and,  shocked  to  find  it  locked  against  her,  ear- 
nestly entreated  admittance.  Her  request  was 
for  some  time  parried  by  pleas  of  having  a  head- 
ache, being  extremely  fatigued,  wishing  to  go 
to  bed,  and  so  forth  :  but  Charlotte  kept  her 
ground,  and,  eventually,  obtained  an  audience. 

"  My  dearest  Alicia!"  exclaimed  the  warm- 
hearted girl,  "  I  cannot  bear  to  part  from  you 
in  this  way.  Ever  since  we  have  known  each 
other,  we  have  never  once  laid  our  heads  upon 
our  pillows  in  anger.  I  see  there  is  something 
that  I  have  either  done  or  said  which  has 
offended  you.  I  know  I  often  speak  and  act 
thoughtlessly ;  but,  indeed,  indeed,  my  dear 
friend,  never  with  the  intention  of  giving  any 
one  pain,  much  less  one  whom  I  love  so  dearly 
as  I  do  you.     Do  pray   tell   me   what  it  is  at 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  99 

once  !  I  cannot  rest  till  you  do — neither,  I  'm 
sure,  can  you — for  I  know  the  goodness  of  your 
heart  too  well  to  believe  that  you  can  bear 
malice."' 

A  "  very  particular**'  friend,  when   once  se- 
siously   offended,    is  generally    a    most  inexor- 
able, and  often   a  very   unjust  sort  of  person. 
It  was  long  before  Alicia  could  be  induced  to 
speak  in  any  degree  explicitly.     She  referred 
Charlotte  to  her  own  feelings,  her  own  recollec- 
tion,  her   own    conscience; — but    all    in    vain. 
The  poor  girl  declared   herself  utterly   uncon- 
scious  of  having,   either  in  thought,  word,  or 
deed,  given  the  smallest  cause  of  offence.     At 
length  the  affair  of  the  pinched  arms  was  intro- 
duced.     Miss  Read  stared,   and  looked   at  her 
arms,  and  rubbed  them  and  her  eyes ;  but  was 
unable  to  comprehend  what  they  could  possibly 
have  to  do  with  the  subject  in  question. 

Alicia  felt  now  quite  provoked   at  what  she 

judged  to  be  most  consummate  duplicity,  and 

repeated  the  evidence  of  her  own  and  Emily's 

senses,  to  prove  that  Mr.  Audrey  was  not  near 

the  accused  at  the  time   she  fell,   and,  conse- 

F  2 


100  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

quently,  could  not  have  then  imprinted  those 
marks  in  the  manner  which  she  had  described. 
Charlotte  felt  quite  bewildered,  and  for  some 
time  was  unable  to  make  any  reply ;  and  her 
silence  appeared  to  her  two  judges  to  be  a 
proof  of  conscious  guilt. 

After  some  reflection,  however,  she  said, 
"  This  is  certainly  the  most  extraordinary  thing 
that  I  ever  met  with  in  the  whole  course  of 
my  life !  I  will  not  positively  contradict  you 
both,  because  I  have  no  recollection  of  seeing 
Mr.  Audrey  at  the  moment.  Indeed,  I  didn't 
see  anything  in  the  way,  or  I  should  not  have 
run  forward  as  I  did :  yet  it  does  seem  to  me 
as  if  I  ran  against  him,  and  he  caught  me  by 
the  arms,  and  I  heard  him  cry  '  oh !"  as  if  he 
was  hurt  as  well  as  myself.  But,  as  you  are  so 
positive,  I  suppose  all  that  must  have  been 
imagination." 

"  Then  you  give  that  up  T''  asked  Alicia, 
sarcastically. 

"  What  can  you  mean  by  treating  me  thus.'^'*'' 
exclaimed  Charlotte.  "  You  know  I  never  was 
guilty  of  telling  falsehoods.      I   spoke  what  I 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  101 

believed  to  be  the  truth,  and  can  only  imagine 
now  that  I  must  have  swooned  away.  And  I 
have  heard  of  people  fancying  strange  things  in 
trances.  But,  I  confess,  it  all  appears  most 
unaccountable  to  me — and  not  the  least  unac- 
countable part  of  the  affair  is,  that  you  should 
be  offended  with  me  for  hurting  myself.  After 
all,  what  possible  difference  can  it  make,  whe- 
ther I  was  knocked  down  by  a  man  or  a  tree  ? 
It  is  quite  absurd."  By  this  time  Charlotte 
was  beginning;  to  be  warm. 

Her  unlucky  arms  were  again  referred  to  by 
Alicia,  who,  with  the  most  provoking  air  of 
triumph,  said,  '*  Perhaps,  my  dear,  you  will  be 
so  kind  now,  as  to  give  us  some  other  account 
of  how  you  came  by  those  marks.  Don't  hurry 
yourself,  I  beg." 

The  truth  here  flashed  strongly  again  upon 
Charlotte,  and  she  recollected  perfectly,  as  if  it 
had  occurred  but  the  moment  before,  that  some 
one  had  really  seized  her  by  the  arms  the 
instant  before  she  fell.  She  could,  conse- 
quently, account  for  Alicia's  behaviour  only 
by  supposing  that,  for  some  unknown   reason. 


102  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

she  was  determined  to  break  with  her;  and  told 
her  so  in  very  plain  language,  adding,  that  the 
method  she  had  taken  was  the  most  ridiculous 
imaginable.  Words  now  ran  high  between  the 
friends.  Even  the  placid  Emily  was  stirred 
up  to  wrath.  Charges  of  hypocrisy,  double 
dealing,  and  unworthy  conduct,  were  made  and 
recriminated.  Bernard  Audrey  and  the  unfor- 
tunate arms  were  more  than  hinted  at — and,  at 
last,  the  two  "  very  particular""  friends  parted 
for  the  night  in  a  most  ungracious  manner, 
and  with  very  unchristian-like  feelings  towards 
each  other. 

When  Alicia  and  Emily  were  left  together, 
they  talked  over  what  had  happened  in  a 
most  pathetic  and  sentimental  style ;  and  de- 
clared that  it  would  be  utterly  out  of  their 
power  in  future,  ever  to  have  the  least  confi- 
dence in  any  human  being,  after  being  so 
cruelly  deceived  in  Charlotte  Read. 

"And  to  think  of  her  standing  it  out  so," 
said  Alicia,  "  as  if  she  thought  to  make  us 
believe  that  we  had  no  eyes !  And  then  de- 
claring, that  if  she  didn't  come  by  her  bruised 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  103 

arms  then,  she  had  no  idea  when  it  could  have 
happened  !  Just  as  if  a  person  could  be  pinch- 
ed black  and  blue  in  that  way  without  know- 
ing how,  and  when,  and  where,  and  by  whom 
too  !  Oh,  I  have  no  patience  with  her  !  To 
think  of  the  vows  of  unalterable  friendship  that 
she  has  made  to  me  !  It  was  only  yesterday 
morning  that  she  declared  she  had  no  secrets 
with  me,  and  that  her  only  wish  was  to  see  me 
happy.  And  then  to  think  of  him,  too  !  Oh  ! 
Emily,  my  dear  and  only  friend  !  I  really 
know  not  how  I  shall  support  the  trial.  Would 
that  I  had  never  seen  either  of  them  !  And 
my  dear  father  and  mother  too  !  What  will 
they  say  ?  I  know  they  have  set  their  minds 
upon  this  match.  But  —  it  cannot  be.  When 
a  man  can  stoop  thus  meanly  to  deceive  a 
woman  before  marriage,  even  with  her  most 
particular  friend,  and  under  the  same  roof  too, 
even  in  the  house  of  her  own  parents — oh,  it  is 
vile  !  AVhat  prospect  of  happiness  can  there 
be  in  such  a  union  .'*" 

"  But,    perhaps,    Mr.   Audrey    may    not   be 
quite  so  much  to  blame,"  observed  the  kind- 


104  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

hearted  Emily,  "  be  really  was  so  agitated 
when  he  saw  how  you  were  frightened,  that  I 
don't  think  he  knew  exactly  what  he  did,  and 
very  likely  thought  he  assisted  Charlotte  as 
well  as  you  ?"" 

"  Don't  say  anything  in  his  favour,"  mur- 
mured Alicia ;  and  then  she  heaved  a  sigh  and 
continued,  "  I  know  the  weakness  of  my  own 
heart— but  I  am  determined  to  act  rightly,  cost 
what  it  may.  I  must  not  allow  myself  to  be 
blinded." 

"  But  you  know  Charlotte  has  such  romping 
ways,"  replied  Emily,  delighted  at  perceiving  a 
glimpse  of  reconciliation  between  the  lovers ; 
"  1  dare  say  she  was  playing  some  of  her  fool- 
ish pranks  with  him,  when  he  was  obliged  to 
hold  her  by  the  arms  in  that  way,  and  forgot 
all  about  it  afterward  ;  for  men  are  so  strong 
they  don't  know  how  they  hurt  one  sometimes." 
— And  then  she  went  on  to  relate  how  she  was 
once  pinched  in  a  similar  manner  by  her  bro- 
ther. What  afterwards  passed  between  them 
was  httle  else  than  a  repetition  of  invectives 
against  their  discarded  friend. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  105 

In  the  mean  while  Charlotte,  in  the  solitude 
of  her  own  chamber,  sought  long  in  vain  for 
some  clue  to  unravel  the  mysteries  of  the  past 
day.  She  endeavoured  to  recall  to  her  mind 
every  act  she  had  committed,  and  if  possible, 
every  word  she  had  spoken.  All  was  to  no 
purpose  ;  as  she  seldom  had  any  design  either 
in  acting  or  speaking,  except  the  gratification  of 
the  moment,  and,  to  her  credit  be  it  said,  usu- 
ally more  for  the  gratification  of  others  than  her 
own,  she  was  unable  to  make  out  any  charge 
against  herself.  After  puzzling  much  and  use- 
lessly, she  at  length  exclaimed — *'  It  must  be 
so  !  How  could  I  be  so  dull  ?  Yes — it  is  evi- 
dent !  Alicia  is  jealous  of  me  !  Poor  girl  ! 
That  accounts  for  all.  I  have  often  heard  ridi- 
culous stories  about  people  when  they  have- 
given  way  to  such  feelings,  but  never  could  I 
have  believed  that  anybody  would  have  acted 
so  verj/  foolishly,  and  so  verj/  unworthily  as 
Alicia  has  towards  me.  But  I  will  forgive  her, 
and  show  her  by  my  conduct  how  much  she 
has  wronged  me." 

With    this    magnanimous  resolution    in    her 

f5 


106  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

head,  and  endeavouring  to  plan  her  arrange- 
ments for  the  morrow,  Charlotte  fell  asleep. 
But  though  in  this  respect  more  fortunate  than 
the  rest  of  our  little  party,  her  slumbers  were 
neither  so  uninterrupted  nor  so  refreshing  as 
usual ;  upon  the  whole,  that  was  an  unquiet 
night. 

Thus,  in  consequence  of  our  hero's  first,  and 
apparently  most  innocent  exploit  in  his  invisi- 
ble character,  the  peace  and  comfort  of  a  whole 
family  were  destroyed,  the  ardent  friendship  of 
young  and  affectionate  hearts  was  broken,  and 
a  cloud,  for  the  first  time,  began  to  gather  over 
his  own  prospects  in  future  life. 

Similar  consequences  frequently  occur  in 
other  families  when  their  members  unwisely 
lend  their  ears  with  implicit  confidence  to 
strangers. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  107 


CHAPTER  V. 

Early  in  the  morning,  after  the  rupture  of 
the  two  very  particular  friends,  the  following 
note  was  slipped  under  the  door  of  Miss 
Storer's  bedroom. 

"  Alicia, 
"  I  have  been  thinking  much  of  what  passed 
between  us  last  night,  and  the  only  conclusion  I 
can  come  to  is,  that  you  are  labouring  under  a 
delusion,  which  time  alone  can  remove,  and, 
take  my  word  for  it,  that  it  will,  for  you  are  alto- 
gether wrong,  I  assure  you  ;  but  after  what  has 
passed,  I  can't  think  of  staying  any  longer  here  ; 
so  don't  say  a  word  about  that,  but  let  it  seem 
as  if  we  had  settled  the  matter  between  our- 
selves in  a  friendly  way,  for  I  don't  see  why 
other  people  should  be  made  uneasy  about  our 


108  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

quarrels,  and  I  know  your  father  and  mother 
would  be  so  if  they  knew  that  my  going  to 
visit  our  old  schoolfellow,  Mary  Williams,  was 
only  an  excuse  to  get  away  from  a  place  where 
I  certainly  never  expected  to  have  been  so 
treated.  She  is  at  her  father's  house,  near 
Oakham,  and  you  know  has  been  pressing  me 
this  Ions:  time  to  come  and  see  her.  So  I  shall 
go  there,  as  if  only  for  a  day  or  two,  and  it 
will  be  very  easy  to  find  an  excuse  for  not 
returning.  I  shall  endeavour  to  appear  as 
usual,  just  as  if  nothing  had  happened,  when 
we  meet  at  breakfast.  I  have  ordered  a  chaise 
to  *be  at  the  door  exactly  at  eleven  o'clock.  I 
shall  only  say  respecting  what  passed  last  night 
that  you  have  used  me  in  a  manner  for  which 
you  will  be  very  sorry  some  day,  but  I  wish 
you  may  be  happy  with  all  my  heart.  I  can- 
not forget  the  time  that  is  past  —  but  I  don't 
look  upon  you  now  to  be  quite  yourself. 

"  Charlotti^." 

This  note  was  the   subject   of  a  conference 
between  Alicia  and  Emily ;  and  the  result  was, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  109 

that  the  latter  pushed  the  following  reply  under 
the  door  of  their  rejected  friend's  chamber. 

"  Miss  Storer  presents  her  compliments  to 
Miss  Read,  and  hopes  Miss  Read  will  enjoy 
herself  with  her  friends  near  Oakham.  Miss  S. 
cannot  pretend  to  enter  into  Miss  R/s  reasons 
for  supposing  her  to  be  noio  under  a  delusion, 
though  she  must  confess  that  she  did  labour 
under  one,  the  discovery  of  which  has  been  ex- 
tremely  painful  to  her  feelings.  As  Miss  S. 
does  not  feel  herself  equal  to  acting  her  part  in 
the  breakfast-scene  proposed  by  Miss  R.  she 
proposes  to  breakfast  in  her  own  room,  where, 
if  Miss  R.  thinks  fit,  she  can  come,  as  if  to 
take  leave.  By  this  means  Miss  S.  conceives 
that  appearances  may  be  saved  equally  as  well 
as  if  she  attempted  to  support  a  character  be- 
fore her  parents,  a  line  of  acting  which  she  has 
always  deprecated. 

"  P.S.  As  Miss  S.''s  boudoir  has  a  communi- 
cation with  her  chamber,  Miss  R.  need  not  be 
under  any  apprehension  of  an  unpleasant  ren- 
contre when  entering  the  latter.'"* 


110  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Resolved  to  pity  and  forgive  her  deluded 
friend,  the  amiable  girl  stifled  certain  indignant 
and  rebellious  emotions,  produced  by  this  note, 
as  well  as  possible,  and  made  her  appearance 
at  the  breakfast-table  with  a  show  of  good 
spirits. 

When  she  told  her  kind  host  and  hostess  of 
her  intended  visit  to  Miss  Williams,  they  nei- 
ther expressed  surprise  nor  attemped  to  detain 
her;  but  merely  said,  that  they  hoped  she 
would  not  be  loiig  away  from  them.  The  fact 
was,  that  their  minds  were  greatly  relieved  by 
her  communication,  as  it  seemed  to  explain  the 
coolness  of  the  preceding  day  in  a  manner  far 
more  satisfactory  to  their  feelings  than  they 
had  anticipated.  It  now  appeared  to  them  that 
the  misunderstanding  was  between  their  daugh- 
ter and  Charlotte,  instead  of  being  a  quarrel 
between  the  lovers,  and  Mr.  Storer  very  soon 
was  himself  again. 

"  Good  girl,  Charlotte,"  said  he,  "  come 
back  soon,  eh  ?  You  and  Ally  old  friends — 
some  nonsense  between  you  though,  I'm  afraid 
— never  mind — soon  set  that  to  rights — heart 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  Ill 

all  right  —  miss  you  when  you're  gone  —  used 
to  have  her  own  way  too  much,  that^s  all — 
shouldn't  have  said  that  before  you  neither, 
Bernard,  eh? — never  mind,  find  it  out  soon 
enough,  dare  say." 

Though  Charlotte  Read  was  a  good  girl,  she 
is  not  our  heroine;  and  therefore  it  will  be  unne- 
cessary to  enter  into  the  detail  of  her  feelings, 
when  entering  the  deserted  chamber  of  her  late 
very  particular  friend,  and  remaining  there 
alone  for  a  few  minutes,  "  as  if  to  take  leave." 

Bernard  Audrey  purposely  got  out  of  the 
way,  lest  he  should  be  seen  handing  her  to  her 
chaise ;  but  he  previously  bade  her  "  adieu'' 
with  such  an  unusual  degree  of  emotion  as 
quite  startled  her. 

"  I  never  saw  him  look  at  me  in  that  manner 
before,"  thought  she,  immediately  he  left  the 
room  :  "  if  I  had,  really  I  could  almost  have 
forgiven  Alicia.  And  how  he  pressed  my  hand! 
He  may  have  been  foolish  enough  though,  when 
I  was  not  looking,  for  I  never  dreamt — I  have 
treated  him  as  if  they  were  already  married. 
But  men,  they  say,  are  strange  creatures,  and 


112  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

one^s  never  quite  sure  of  them.  However,  I  'm 
glad  I'm  going — that  will  show  them  both  that 
I  will  never  act  nor  suffer  myself  to  be  acted 
upon  unworthily." 

During  her  journey  towards  Oakham,  a  little 
and  but  a  very  little  of  feminine  vanity  in- 
truded itself,  as  she  thought  of  Mr.  Audrey's 
very  particular  manner  towards  her. 

"At  all  events,""  said  she,  "  it  is  plain  that  I 
have  not  offended  him :  and,  certainlj/,  I  will 
not  see  either  of  them  again  till  after  the  mar- 
riage, when,  if  they  have  common  sense  and 
the  least  rectitude  of  feeling,  they  will  not 
hesitate  to  clear  me  from  any  foolish  and 
unjust  suspicion  which  Alicia  now  harbours 
against  me.'"* 

Conscious  of  having  acted  right,  she  soon 
recovered  her  spirits  in  the  midst  of  a  fresh 
circle,  where  she  was  received  with  a  cordiality 
strongly  in  contrast  with  the  leave-taking  of  the 
morning. 

f.  rnard  Audrey,  sitting  gloomily  alone,  on 
a  seat  in  the  pleasure-ground,  saw  her  depart, 
and    sighed    as   he    reflected    upon    the   cause. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  113 

Then  he  rose,  and  began  sauntering  to  and 
fro,  and  very  soon  despatched  the  easy  task  of 
self-justification. 

"  I  cannot  blame  myself!""  he  exclaimed  : 
*'  who  could  have  imagined  such  a  result  from 
our  foolish  game  ?  However,  I  will  take  good 
care  not  to  use  my  gift  in  future  upon  trifling 
occasions." 

His  next  effort  was  to  see  Alicia,  and  endea- 
vour to  persuade  her  to  ride  with  him  to  Au- 
drey Hall,  where  he  understood  his  presence 
was  necessary.  The  reply  to  his  message  was, 
that  she  did  not  feel  well  enough  to  ride  out, 
but  begged  that  she  might  not  detain  him. 

Thus  disappointed,  he  mounted  his  horse, 
not  in  the  very  best  of  humours,  and  very  soon 
arrived  at  Audrey  Hall,  where  he  found  fault 
with  almost  every  thing  that  had  been  done  since 
his  last  visit,  to  the  great  astonishment  and  dis- 
n)ay  of  the  steward  and  the  workpeople. 

Leaving  them  to  account  for  this  sudden 
change  in  his  temper,  as  they  might,  and 
not  knowing  what  to  do  with  himself,  he  com- 
menced a  solitary  stroll  in  the  park,  sometimes 


114  THE  INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

fancying  that  he  would  plant  a  clump  of  firs 
in  one  place,  or  have  some  trees  cut  down  in 
another,  but  generally  thinking  of  Alicia,  and 
devising  projects  for  regaining  her  confidence. 

At  length  he  found  himself  near  the  church, 
and  remembered  his  intention  to  look  over  the 
monuments  in  it  more  minutely  than  he  had 
hitherto  done.  Fortunately  for  his  purpose, 
he  discovered  that  the  small  side  door  was 
unlocked.  He  entered,  uttering  a  malediction 
against  the  sexton  for  his  carelessness  :  but  was 
very  soon  lost  to  all  other  subjects  among  the 
family  memorials,  which  alternately  flattered 
his  pride  and  excited  his  curiosity. 

As  he  sate  in  deep  reverie,  contemplating 
a  mutilated  cross-legged  figure  in  the  chancel, 
he  thought  he  heard  a  noise  at  the  farther  end 
of  the  building  :  but  after  listening  attentively, 
and  finding  all  was  silent,  he  concluded  that  it 
must  have  been  only  imaginary,  and  continued 
his  researches.  The  painted  windows  next 
attracted  his  attention  ;  and  he  proceeded  to 
take  notes  of  the  various  impalements  and  quar- 
terings,  in  order  to  trace  them   on  the  family 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  115 

tree,  which  Sir  William  had  ordered  to  be 
drawn  and  emblazoned,  with  all  the  various 
armorial  bearings  connected  with  it  by  con- 
sanguinity or  intermarriage,  in  due  heraldic 
splendour. 

When  this  amusement  was  at  an  end,  he  was 
pleased  and  surprised  to  find  that  nearly  two 
hours  had  elapsed.  "  I  shall  get  back  just  in 
time  to  dress  for  dinner,""  said  he,  walking 
briskly  to  the  side  door  by  which  he  had  enter- 
ed the  church.  "  Humph,"'  he  continued,  on 
finding  it  locked,  "  I  suppose  I  came  in  on  the 
other  side,  then  ;  no — this  certainly  is  the  same  ! 
How  's  this  ?  It 's  very  extraordinary  !  Very 
provoking !'"  and  forthwith  he  proceeded  from 
door  to  door,  shaking  them  on  their  huge  hinges, 
knocking,  hallooing,  and  uttering  many  excla- 
mations very  unfit  to  be  heard  in  such  a  place. 
But  all  were  useless.  It  soon  became  too  evi- 
dent that  he  was  most  securely  incarcerated ; 
and  then  he  recollected  the  noise  that  had  star- 
tled him,  and  which  he  had  foolishly  attributed 
to  fancy. 

Now   the   said    church   was  somewhat  more 


116  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

than  a  quarter  of  a  mile  from  the  village,  and 
about  double  that  distance  from  the  hall,  and  it 
stood  upon  an  eminence,  the  base  of  which  was 
surrounded  by  fine  old  elm  trees,  above  which 
the  ancient  square  tower,  with  its  immovable 
weathercock,  was  just  apparent. 

Our  hero  was,  at  first,  half-vexed  and  half- 
amused  at  the  oddity  of  his  situation  ;  but, 
when  he  found  that  his  knocking,  and  bawling, 
and  door-shaking  produced  no  effect,  he  began 
seriously  to  set  his  wits  to  work,  in  order  to 
discover  some  means  of  escape.  The  windows 
were  of  the  old  gothic  form,  with  theii*  narrow 
compartments  strongly  grated.  The  smallest 
boy  in  the  village  could  not  have  forced  his  way 
through  the  bars,  where  little  square  glazed 
doors  were  left  open  to  admit  the  air ;  so  egress 
by  their  means  was  quite  out  of  the  question, 
and  the  only  fruit  of  his  most  diligent  search 
was  the  discovery  of  the  reason  of  the  door 
beings  unlocked  when  he  entered.  This  was  ex- 
plained  by  the  appearance  of  a  newly-made 
grave  in  the  church-yard,  and  the  tools  of  the 
sexton,   bearing   the  marks   of  recent  service, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  117 

standing  against  the  wall  of  the  interior  of  the 
building. 

"  I  must  make  them  hear  me  by  some 
means,"  exclaimed  our  hero ;  "  and  I  don't 
know  a  more  likely  method  than  this.  So, 
here  goes,"  and  he  began  pulling  at  one  of 
the  bell-ropes,  which  hung  down  to  the  floor 
of  the  tower.  Among  other  whims  at  Oxford, 
he  had  once  been  of  a  party  that  endeavoured, 
most  inharmoniously,  to  ring  a  peal,  so  that  he 
was  not  altogether  a  novice  in  the  mystery. 
After  much  exertion  and  one  tumble,  by  v/hich 
his  "  white  cords"  were  grievously  soiled,  he 
contrived  to  get  his  bell  "  up,"  and  commenced 
a  regular  tolling.  "  Capital  exercise  !"  he  ex- 
claimed gaily.  '•  By  George,  I  ""U  keep  it  up 
till  the  rascals  come  and  let  me  out,"  and  on  he 
went  with  his  work  most  perseveringly,  while 
the  dismal  sounds  vibrating  in  the  air,  roused 
the  attention  of  the  neighbourhood,  and  caused 
no  small  panic  in  the  breasts  of  many.  Among 
the  latter  was  the  sexton,  who  had  recently  been 
busily  engaged  in  the  duties  of  his  office.  He 
declared  he  would  not,  he  dared  not,  go  by  him- 


118  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

selfj  to  see  what  was  the  matter ;  and  forthwith 
summoned  the  churchwardens  to  attend.  Cu- 
riosity attracted  others,  and  the  result  was,  that 
the  sexton's  forces  were  increased  to  the  number 
of  a  dozen  able-bodied  men  besides  himself,  ere 
he  reached  the  door  of  the  church,  the  bell  still 
continuing  to  toll  most  dolefully. 

The  spot  on  which  Bernard  stood,  exercis- 
ing his  new  vocation,  could  not  be  seen  from 
any  of  the  windows ;  but,  as  the  party  passed 
by  them,  he  was  made  sensible  of  its  arrival  by 
the  shadows  falling  upon  the  aisle  and  pillars, 
and  perceived  that  there  were  many.  A  glance 
at  his  soiled  habiliments,  the  idea  of  being  the 
object  of  vulgar  ridicule,  and  a  notion  that  it 
would  be  an  excellent  joke  to  frighten  the 
bumpkins,  induced  him  suddenly  to  forget  his 
previous  determination,  and  to  pull  his  left  ear. 

Scarcely  had  the  consequent  transformation 
taken  place,  than  the  door  at  the  farther  end  of 
the  church  was  opened,  and  the  sexton  and  his 
attendants  advanced  to  the  extremity  of  the 
middle  aisle,  and  saw  the  bell-rope  regularly 
rising  and  falling,  curving  and  straightening  it- 
self, all  in  the  regular  way  of  duty,  and  appa- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  119 

rently  entirely  of  its  own  free-will  and  accord. 
The  general  consternation  caused  a  precipitate 
retreat,  and  several  tumbles,  and  uiucii  swear- 
ing, and  divers  very  brief  and  devout  ejacula- 
tions, were  the  consequence.  Bernard  enjoyed 
the  joke  exceedingly,  and  stuck  close  to  his 
work,  doubting  not  to  witness  other  scenes  of 
rustic  and  superstitious  alarm.  In  the  course 
of  a  minute  or  two,  several  of  the  boldest  again 
advanced,  and  looked  upon  the  extraordinary 
sight,  while  the  sexton  shouted  for  them  to 
come  away,  as  it  was  of  no  use  for  them  to  at- 
tempt to  do  anything  till  the  parson  arrived  to 
lay  the  spirit. 

"  Don''t  tell  me  about  the  parsons,"  said  Ber- 
nard's gamekeeper,  a  stout,  resolute  fellow,  who 
was  now  among  the  foremost :  "  Don't  tell  me 
about  parsons.  Let  us  see  what  a  double  barrel 
and  a  steady  hand  will  do !  So,  master  ghost, 
or  devil,  or  whatever  else  you  please  to  call 
yourself,  here  's  at  you  !"'' 

Bernard,  at  this  alarming  apostrophe,  and 
the  well-known  clicking  of  the  locks,  instantly 
let  go  the  bell-rope,  which,  flying  at  random, 
struck  him  violently  across  the  face  in  his  re- 


120  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

treat.  The  moment  afterwards,  bang — bang, 
went  the  gamekeeper's  fowling-piece ;  and  our 
hero  almost  trembled  at  his  narrow  escape,  as 
he  perceived  from  the  spot  where  the  shots  en- 
tered the  huge  door  of  the  tower,  that  they 
must  have  passed  exactly  where  he  had  been 
amusing  himself.  After  this  there  was  a  dead 
silence.  All,  even  the  gamekeeper  himself, 
seemed  awe  struck,  as  the  bell-rope  swung,  vi- 
brating, and  leaping  loosely  to  and  fro,  and 
gradually  the  deep  tolling  of  the  bell  died 
away. 

In  this  interval  Bernard  made  the  unpleasant 
discovery  that  he  had  not  escaped  quite  scathe- 
less. Drops  of  blood  falling  rapidly  and  becom- 
ing visible  upon  the  ground,  told  him  that  now 
the  bell-rope  had  effected  the  same  injury  on 
his  unlucky  nose,  as,  in  his  former  invisible  ex- 
ploits had  been  produced  by  the  head  of  a 
young  lady.  The  only  method  of  knowing  how 
the  bleeding  was  going  on,  or  when  it  should 
have  stopped,  was,  to  keep  shifting  his  head 
and  looking  upon  the  ground  ;  and  this  process 
he  continued  for  some  time.     But,   when  the 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  121 

rustics  began  to  summon  courage  and  advance 
nearer,  he  felt  that  this  must  attract  their  no- 
tice, and  would  probably  lead  the  desperate  game- 
keeper to  have  a  second  shot  at  him.  So,  per- 
ceiving the  side  aisles  deserted,  he  crept,  on  tip- 
toe, along  one  of  them,  stooping  as  he  went,  to 
avoid  soiling  his  dress,  if  possible,  got  safely 
through  the  door,  and  made  his  way  to  a  lone 
corner  of  the  church-yard,  where,  leaning  upon 
a  head-stone,  he  watched  till  the  falling  tri- 
bute to  his  own  folly  had  ceased.  He  then  re- 
turned to  the  hall,  where  one  room  had  been 
reserved  for  him  ;  and,  luckily,  having  the  key 
in  his  pocket,  he  passed,  unseen,  through  the 
throng  of  work-people,  shut  himself  up,  pulled 
his  right  ear,  and  set  about  his  toilet.  It  ap- 
peared pretty  certain,  that,  besides  the  contusion 
of  his  smelling  organ,  he  would  now  find  his 
personal  attractions  increased,  by  one  black  eye 
at  least — perhaps  a  couple.  Few  trivial  mis- 
fortunes are  so  ungentlemanlike  and  annoying 
as  such  discolou rations.  Poor  Bernard  tried 
every  precautionary  remedy  that  he  could  think 
of,  ever  and  anon  cursing  the  elderly  pale-faced 
VOL.    I.  G 


122  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

gentleman  and  his  boxes  of  ointment,  and  re- 
peatedly vowing  that  he  would  let  his  ears  alone 
for  the  future,  except  in  cases  of  very  great 
emergency.  When  he  had  made  himself  as  de- 
cent as  he  possibly  could,  he  had  the  mortifica- 
tion to  discover,  that,  let  him  ride  as  he  would, 
he  must  arrive  at  Maxdean  Hall  long  after  the 
hour  of  dinner.  At  any  other  time  this  would 
not  have  given  him  uneasiness;  but,  now  there 
was  a  sort  of  breach  between  him  and  Alicia, 
he  apprehended  that  any  trifle  might  make  it 
wider.  The  ill-humour  with  which  he  was 
afflicted,  on  his  arrival,  was  as  nothing  when 
compared  with  that  in  which  he  left  Audrey 
Park  ;  and,  as  is  too  often  the  case,  his  horse 
suffered  for  the  evil  temper  of  its  rider. 

As  he  reached  the  door  of  Maxdean  Hall, 
Mr.  Storer  threw  up  the  window  of  the  dining- 
room,  and,  thrusting  forth  his  head,  called  out, 
"Come  in  just  as  you  are  —  not  half  done — 
fish  just  gone  out.  Rode  for  it,  I  see — never 
mind — can't  be  always  to  a  moment.  Cursed 
work-people,  I  suppose  —  no  doing  anything 
with  'em — plague  of  one's  life.    Come  in,  come 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  123 

in,''  and  without  waiting  for  any  reply,  the 
good-humoured  host  returned  to  his  seat,  and 
began  to  occupy  himself  in  his  duties  of  carv- 
ing. 

Bernard  entered,  and  placing  himself  by  the 
side  of  Alicia,  anxiously  inquired  how  she  felt 
— hoped  she  was  better,  and  would  be  able  to 
take  a  walk  after  dinner.  The  manner  in  which 
he  spoke  appeared  to  produce  the  right  effect. 
She  turned  towards  him  with  a  smile;  but 
suddenly  changed  countenance,  and  exclaimed, 
"  Why,  Bernard  !  what  is  the  matter  with  your 
eyes .'' 

"  Eyes !"  cried  her  father,  looking  up  from 
his  task  of  cutting  up  a  goose.  "  Why,  youVe 
got  a  pair  of  black  eyes,  eh  ? — how''s  that  P — 
turn  up,  eh  ?  Didn't  know  you  were  a  bruiser 
— fibber — what  d'ye  call  'em  ? — How  was  it  ?" 

Bernard  made  up  a  story  about  striking  him- 
self against  the  bough  of  a  tree. 

"  Tree !"  said  Mr.  Storer,  "  always  running 
against  trees  —  very  odd!  Got  a  bloody  nose 
yesterday  that  way.  Look  before  you — sure  it 
wasn't  a  mill — eh  ?     Come,  tell  us  all  about  it. 

G  2 


124  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Don't  like  such  ways — but  never   mind — dare 
say  you  were  right — how  was  it?" 

Bernard  persevered  in  his  misrepresentation, 
from  the  apparent  impossibiUty  of  speaking  the 
truth,  and  was  not  quite  so  much  shocked  at 
himself  as  on  his  first  lapse  of  a  similar  kind. 
Mrs.  Storer  undertook  to  remove  all  unpleasant 
consequences  before  the  morrow,  and  directed 
that  he  should  have  a  piece  of  raw  beef  tied 
over  each  eye,  when  he  went  to  bed,  and  that 
they  should  not  be  removed  till  the  morn- 
ing. Her  husband  proposed  the  application 
of  leeches :  but  our  hero  gallantly  said  that 
he  would  put  himself  entirely  into  the  hands  of 
the  lady. 

To  this  decision  he  was  led  from  the  notion 
that  he  had  lost  quite  blood  enough  lately,  as 
well  as  by  an  apprehension  that  leeches  would 
render  it  necessary  to  call  in  a  medical  man, 
who  might  discover  that  his  bruises  could 
scarcely  have  been  caused  by  the  branch  of  a 
tree. 

Now  Alicia  Storer  was  not  naturally  of  an 
obstinate,  peevish,  or  sulky  disposition,  and  had 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  125 

therefore  candidly  allowed  Emilys  mode  of  ac- 
counting for  her  lover's  misrepresentation  to 
have  its  full  weight  on  her  mind.  There  was, 
indeed,  something  flattering  in  the  idea  that  his 
anxiety  respecting  her  should  have  been  so  great 
as  to  deprive  him  of  all  recollection  concerning 
minor  matters  and  other  folks;  moreover,  she 
could  not  but  admit  the  justice  of  her  mother's 
observation  that  "  an  offer,  so  perfectly  unob- 
jectionable in  every  respect  as  that  of  Bernard 
Audrey,  was  not  to  be  had  every  day." 

Besides  all  the  aforesaid  reasons,  there  was 
another,  which  would  most  likely  have  done 
very  well  by  itself,  viz. — she  really  liked  our 
hero.  So,  when  they  were  walking  together  in 
the  grounds  after  dinner,  she  gently  referred 
to  the  subject  ;  and  he,  being  prepared  by  his 
clandestine  visit,  treated  the  affair  very  lightly, 
and  said,  "  that  nothing  was  more  probable, 
than  that  Emily's  account  of  his  conduct  was 
more  correct  than  his  own,  since  she  had  pre- 
served her  presence  of  mind,  which  certainly 
he  had  not." 

"But  then,  when  was  it  that  you  gave  poor 


126  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Charlotte  those  dreadful  pinches  ?"  asked  Ali- 
cia, with  an  affected  air  of  gaiety. 

"  Really,  I  don't  know,"  replied  Bernard, 
telling  another  fib  to  bolster  up  those  which 
had  gone  before.  "  Perhaps  it  was  somebody 
else  —  though  it  might  have  been  me,  for  you 
know  how  very  much  she  is  giving  to  romping. 
She  is  a  very  good  girl,  but,  really,  her  spirits 
are  almost  too  high  —  sometimes  she  is  just  like 
a  mad  creature.  I  remember  holding  her  by 
the  arms  the  day  before  yesterday,  to  prevent 
her  from  jumping  upon  the  black  pony,  before 
Thomas  had  tightened  the  saddle  girths,  accord- 
ing to  my  order.  It  was  the  only  way  to  pre- 
vent her  from  exposing  herself  to  danger.  I 
was  obliged  to  hold  her  back  very  firmly,  and 
perhaps  I  might  then  have  '  pinched  her,'  as  you 
say  :  but  I  hope  she  is  not  much  hurt  .'*"" 

In  this  detail  there  was,  as  is  too  common 
when  people  wish  to  deceive,  a  little  truth  for 
the  basis.  Charlotte  was  somewhat  vain  of  her 
fearless  horsewomanship,  and  had  declared  that 
she  never  gave  herself  "  the  least  concern  about 
girths,  and  such  sort  of  things." 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  127 

It  is  needless  to  relate  the  rest  of  the  conver- 
sation between  the  lovers,  —  suffice  it  to  say, 
that  the  strange  misunderstanding  appeared  to 
be  entirely  made  up  ere  they  again  entered  the 
house,  and  the  worthy  owners  of  the  mansion 
were  highly  pleased  to  find  their  little  circle 
again  free,  easy,  and  cheerful,  as  heretofore. 
But,  when  Bernard  retired  for  the  night,  he 
could  not  help  reflecting  upon  the  follies  and 
escapes  of  the  day.  And  when  he  lay  upon 
his  pillow,  with  the  bandage  and  lumps  of  beef 
upon  his  eyes,  he  endeavoured  to  count  the 
number  of  aberrations  into  which  he  had  lapsed 
from  that  strict  rule  of  truth-telling,  which  had 
ever  guided  him  till  his  interview  with  the  white- 
faced  elderly  gentleman  in  the  arbour. 


128  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

When  Mrs.  Storer,  the  two  young  ladies, 
and  Bernard,  were  taking  an  airing  in  the  car- 
riage next  day,  they  were  met  by  the  Reverend 
Mr.  Kenemall,  the  rector  of  Audrey,  who  im- 
mediately pulled  up  his  low  four-wheeled  chaise, 
and  paid  his  respects,  in  a  manner  which  clearly 
evinced  that  he  no  longer  considered  the  Storers 
as  "  nobodies." 

"  I  was  driving  over  to  Maxdean  Hall,"  said 
he,  after  the  usual  formal  inquiries,  "  in  order 
to  call  upon  Mr.  Audrey,  and  tell  him  of  a  very 
singular  occurrence  that  took  place  yesterday 
at  our  church,  and  has  set  the  whole  parish  in 
an  uproar." 

As  he  said  these  words,  he  cast  an  arch  smile 
at  our  hero,  who,  expecting  to  hear  some  odd 
version  of  the  rustics'  alarm,  had  prepared  him- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  129 

self  accordingly,  and  sate  with  a  look  of  the 
most  innocent  curiosity  imaginable,  while  in- 
quiring the  particulars. 

"  It  is  rather  a  long  story  to  tell  you  in  tlie 
middle  of  the  road,*"  replied  the  rector;  "  I  will, 
therefore,  ride  forward,  to  call  upon  Mr.  Storer, 
and  you  shall  have  the  whole  on  your  return,  if 
you  wish  it." 

''  Accept  my  invitation  to  stop  and  dine  with 
us,"  said  Mrs.  Storer ;  "  you  cannot  refuse  a 
lady — and  I  am  sure  Mr.  Storer  will  be  de- 
lighted. Nothing  pleases  him  so  much  as  when 
a  gentleman  drops  in  and  takes  us  in  the  family 
way." 

Mr.  Kenemall  bowed,  and  accepted  the  invi- 
tation, not  a  little  gratified  at  having  so  good 
an  excuse  as  a  lady's  interference  to  plead  for  a 
breach  of  the  strict  rules  of  etiquette. 

**  Reserve  your  story  till  we  come  !"  exclaim- 
ed Mrs.  Storer,  good-humouredly  ;  "  we  shall 
just  have  time  to  dress  before  dinner.  I  see  it 
is  something  droll  that  you  have  to  tell,  by 
your  looks.  So  —  mum  to  Mr.  Storer,  mind. 
Let  us  all  enjoy  it  together. — Drive  on,  Feter  !" 

G  o 


130  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

'*  What  can  it  be  ?  Have  you  any  idea,  Ber- 
nard ?"  exclaimed  Alicia. 

"  Not  the  least,"  replied  our  hero,  scarcely 
heeding  the  downright  falsehood  which  he  was 
telling.     Such  is  the  force  of  habit. 

"  It^s  very  strange  what  it  can  be  !"  conti- 
nued Alicia ;  "  something  that  took  place  in  the 
church  yesterday,  Mr.  Kenemall  says.  Why, 
you  were  in  the  church  yesterday,  you  told  me, 
looking  at  the  monuments.  Did  you  see  any- 
thing particular  ?" 

"  No — nothing  more  than  usual,""  answered 
Bernard,  carelessly  ;  "  but  it  is  of  no  use  guess- 
ing, we  shall  have  it  all  at  dinner.  It  can't  be 
very  dreadful,  or  the  parson  would  not  wear 
that  laughing  face  about  it." 

"  I  long  to  hear  what  it  is  !"  said  Emily. 

"  So  do  I,"  added  Mrs.  Storer. 

"  Let  us  guess  !"  cried  Alicia ;  "  I  expect  it 
is  something  about  a  ghost." 

"  Very  likely,"  observed  her  mother,  "  for 
the  people  in  this  neighbourhood  are  very 
superstitious." 

While  the  ladies  were  employed  in  various 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  131 

conjectures,  our  hero  congratulated  liimself 
upon  the  prospect  of  deriving  amusement  from 
his  late  exploit. 

"  It  would  be  a  hard  case  indeed/'  thought 
he,  "  if  I  were  to  be  shot  at  and  knocked  about, 
as  I  have  been,  without  some  little  recompense. 
I  dare  say  the  bumpkins  have  made  a  fine  story 
of  it!  Well,"  he  continued,  as  he  looked  on 
the  animated  countenances  of  his  companions, 
*'  it  is  something,  after  all,  to  have  the  gift  of 
invisibility  !  If  it  got  me  into  difficulty,  it 
likewise  helped  to  get  me  out  of  it,  and  now,  I 
expect,  will  afford  us  some  rare  fun.  I  shall, 
however,  be  more  circumspect  in  future  as  to 
how  I  make  use  of  my  power,  and  have  recourse 
to  it  only  on  particular  occasions." 

Their  morning  ride  terminated,  as  Mrs. 
Storer  had  planned,  just  in  time  to  allow  of 
their  dressing  for  dinner ;  and  when  the  ladies 
had  retired  for  that  purpose,  the  reverend  Mr. 
Kenemall  asked  Bernard  if  he  could  spare  a  few 
minutes,  as  he  had  something  very  particular  to 
say  to  him." 

"  Certainly,"  replied  our  hero  ;  *'  it  is  now 


13^  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

only  half  past  four,  and  a  quarter  of  an  hour 
will  be  quite  sufficient  for  my  toilet." 

*'  You  will  not,  I  trust,  be  offended  with  me, 
my  dear  Sir,"  said  the  Rector,  again  smiling 
archly  as  before ;  **  but  I  remember  how  it  was 
when  I  was  at  Oxford.  We  used  to  divert 
ourselves  with  many  a  strange  prank.  It  is 
natural,  very  natural,  with  youth  and  high 
spirits ;  it  can  scarely  be  otherwise.  So  I 
thought,  perhaps — but  I  hope  you  will  not  feel 
hurt  at  my  plain  manner  of  speaking  ?" 

"  Assuredly  not,"  replied  Bernard.  "  Pray 
make  yourself  perfectly  easy  on  that  score. 
You  were  saying  you  '  thought  perhaps'  — "" 

"  The  fact  is,"  resumed  Mr.Kenemall,  "  that 
I  wished  to  know  whether  you  really  had  any 
hand  in  the  affair  of  yesterday,  before  I  men- 
tioned it  to  the  ladies.  1  confess  that  I  do  not 
see  how  you  could,  because,  although  you  were 
seen  near  the  church  about  two  hours  earlier 
than  the  thing  happened,  the  workmen  all  de- 
clare that  you  were  in  your  own  room  at  the 
hall  during  the  whole  of  the  time,  as  a  party  of 
them  were  at  work  on  the  stairs,  and  therefore 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  133 

you  could  not  have  entered  without  their  see- 
ing you." 

"  I  certainly  was  in  my  own  room  a  long 
while,"  replied  Bernard ;  *'  indeed  I  was  so 
busily  engaged  looking  over  some  papers,  that  I 
didn't  observe  how  time  went,  and  was  conse- 
quently too  late  for  dinner.  But  you  have  not 
yet  informed  me  what  it  is  of  which  I  am 
suspected  ?" 

"  Suspected  !  Oh,  my  dear  Sir  !  pray  don't 
use  such  a  word  !"  exclaimed  Mr.  Kenemall, 
laughing.  "  The  thing  is  so  exceedingly  ridi- 
culous !  I  have  not  common  patience  with  the 
fools  !  and  yet  it  is  altogether  a  most  unac- 
countable piece  of  business  V 

"  Well,  but  you  have  not  told  me  what  it  is," 
said  our  hero,  laughing  also. 

"  I  '11  tell  you,"  continued  Mr.  Kenemall, 
holding  his  sides  ;  "  I  '11  tell  you,  my  dear  Sir, 
as  —  soon  —  as —  I  —  can  —  oh  !  Oxonians  are 
always  fond  of  frolics,  and  so  I  thought,  per- 
haps you  might  have  taken  it  into  your  head  to 
toll  the  church-bell.  There,  that 's  the  whole 
of  the  affair  !  Oh  dear !  I  can't  help  laughing  P 


134  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  Why,  even  if  I  had  been  disposed  to  do 
such  a  foolish  thing,""  replied  Bernard,  "  by 
your  own  account  I  was  more  than  half  a  mile 
off,  in  my  own  room  ?" 

"  Yes,  yes ;  to  be  sure,"  said  the  rector  : 
all  that  I  wished  was  to  be  certain  that  you 
neither  did  it  yourself  nor  employed  any  one 
else  to  do  it.  Now  the  one  I  see  is  impos- 
sible—'' 

"  And  I  give  you  my  word  of  honour,"'  said 
our  hero,  interrupting  him,  "  that  I  never  em- 
ployed anybody  to  do  anything  of  the  kind." 

Mr.  Kenemall  proceeded  to  make  many  apo- 
logies for  the  liberty  which  he  had  taken  in 
asking  so  many  questions,  and  so  consumed  the 
rest  of  the  quarter  of  an  hour  to  which  their 
interview  was  limited. 

The  reverend  visiter  took  an  opportunity 
before  dinner  of  whispering  to  his  hostess  that 
he  should  wish  to  defer  his  tale  till  the  cloth 
was  drawn  and  the  servants  had  left  the  room,  as 
what  he  had  to  relate  was  of  such  a  nature  as 
scarcely  became  the  gravity  of  his  profession. 
This  delay  increased  the  curiosity  of  the  little 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  135 

party  to  the  highest  degree,  and  afforded  no 
small  gratification  to  Bernard,  who  anticipated 
a  ludicrous  account  of  the  bumpkins'  terror. 

When  the  appointed  time  of  recitation  came, 
Mr.  Storer  insisted  upon  a  bumper  all  round, 
to  fortify  their  nerves,  and  then  Mr.  Kenemall 
commenced. 

"  What  I  am  going  to  tell  you  is  one  of 
those  unaccountable  things  which  we  read  of  in 
books  of  fiction,  concerning  the  agency  of  ghosts 
and  spirits.  But  we  shall  no  doubt  find  a  clue 
to  unravel  the  mystery  some  of  these  days,  for 
I  am  firmly  of  opinion  that  when  the  soul 
leaves  the  body  —  but  I  see  you  are  impatient, 
so  I  will  relate  to  you  exactly  what  was  told  to 
me  by  my  clerk,  who  is  likewise  the  sexton  of 
the  parish,  a  situation  which  he  has  now  held 
for  more  than  twenty  years,  and  borne  the  cha- 
racter of  a  perfectly  veracious  person,  though 
withal,  it  must  be  confessed,  not  a  little  given  to 
superstitious  fancies,  being  a  firm  believer  in 
ghosts,  witches,  apparitions,  old  women's  pro- 
phecies, and  all  that  sort  of  thing." 

The  rector  then  went  on  to  relate,  in  a  some- 


136  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

what  roundabout  way,  how  the  said  sexton  had, 
on  the  previous  morning,  been  employed  in 
digging  a  grave  for  a  labouring  man  then  lying 
dead,  and  how  that,  after  finishing  his  work  he 
had  deposited  his  tools  in  the  church,  and  then 
locked  the  door,  and  was  confident  that  there 
was  no  human  being  there  but  himself  Then 
followed  a  description  of  the  alarm  created  by 
the  tolling  of  the  bell,  the  "  gathering"  of  the 
stout  hearts  of  the  village,  their  progress  to  the 
church,  what  they  saw  and  heard  on  their  en- 
trance, and  so  forth,  till  the  time  when  the 
gamekeeper  fired  his  double-barrel,  and  the 
bell  was  instantly  released  from  its  enchantment. 

Here  Mr.  Storer  could  contain  himself  no 
longer,  but  burst  into  a  loud  fit  of  laughter, 
and  then  exclaimed,  "  A  capital  joke,  I  vow  .' — 
well  managed,  eh  .?  Too  late  for  dinner  yester- 
day, Bernard — smell  a  rat.  Been  to  look  at  the 
old  monuments,  eh  ?  Never  mind — good  story 
—  well  got  up.  Like  to  have  seen  the  whop- 
straws.     Catch  the  idea,  Mr.  Cantemall,  eh .?" 

"  No  —  really,  sir,"  replied  the  reverend  gen- 
tleman, "  you  are  quite  wrong  there,  I  assure 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  137 

you,  for  I  had  some  little  notion  of  the  same 
sort  myself,  but  the  evidence  of  more  than 
twenty  workpeople  can  prove  that  Mr.  Audrey 
was  in  his  own  room  all  the  time.  And  besides, 
Mr.  Audrey  has  assured  me,  upon  his  word  of 
honour,  that  he  had  no  hand,  directly  or  indi- 
rectly, in  the  transaction." 

Though  this  was  not  exactly  the  case,  Ber- 
nard could  not  very  well  recall  to  the  rector's 
mind  the  precise  extent  of  his  denial,  so  he 
bowed  in  assent,  and  consequently  stood  pledg- 
ed, by  his  word  of  honour  as  a  gentleman,  to 
the  truth  of  a  conscious  and  downright  false- 
hood. 

"  Hem  !"  said  Mr.  Storer,  "  that  alters  the 
case.  Can't  doubt  Bernard's  word — uncle  told 
me  never  caught  him  in  a  lie,  even  when  a  boy 
—  great  thing  to  say,  eh?  All  right  —  hate 
liars.  Man  once  begins  to  tell  lies,  all  up  — 
steal,  cheat,  swindle — anything  after  that,  eh  .?" 
Mr.  Kenemall  professed  himself  to  be  pre- 
cisely of  the  same  way  of  thinking,  and  was 
proceeding  to  enlarge  upon  the  hatefulness  of  a 
vice,  which  destroyed  all   confidence   between 


138  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

relatives  and  friends ;  but  the  ladies  would  not 
submit  to  be  edified  upon  any  other  subject  till 
he  had  fairly  got  to  the  end  of  his  story.  He, 
therefore,  resumed — "  Timothy  Higgins,  the 
clerk  and  sexton,  declares,  that  after  the  bell 
was  released  from  the  hands  of  the  invisible 
agent,  a  strong  smell  of  sulphur  arose  and  filled 
the  whole  of  the  church.  Now  this  is  a  usual 
part  of  most  of  your  stories  about  apparitions 
and  so  forth,  but,  in  the  present  case,  it  is  very 
easily  to  be  accounted  for  by  the  discharge  of 
the  gamekeeper's  fowling-piece.  What  follow- 
ed, however,  is  much  more  extraordinary. 
When  the  men  had  recovered  from  their  alarm 
sufficiently  to  enter  the  tower,  one  of  them  dis- 
covered a  quantity  of  blood,  which  seemed  to 
have  just  fallen  on  the  pavement.  This  struck 
them  with  a  fresh  panic.  Mr.  Audrey's  game- 
keeper shuddered  and  turned  pale,  and  the  rest 
betook  themselves  to  praying,  with  a  fervency 
which,  I  am  afraid,  they  don't  often  practise." 

"  Well,  I  suppose  they  soon  found  the  fellow 
who  was  wounded !"  said  Mr.  Storer.  *'  Egad, 
I  hope  he  didn't  pay  too  dear  for  his  joke — 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  139 

capitally  done — be  sorry  if  he  was  hurt  much, 
eh  ?" 

'*  No,  sir,"  continued  the  rector ;  "  they 
found  no  one,  yet  the  blood  was  fresh,  quite 
fresh  spilt,  and  as  if  on  purpose  that  no  doubt 
should  be  left  on  that  point,  some  of  it  was  shed 
on  the  tools  of  the  sexton,  which  he  had  just 
been  using  to  dig  the  grave,  and  the  rest  was 
close  by  ;  so,  if  it  had  been  there  when  he  left 
the  church  two  hours  before,  he  must  have  seen 
it."  \ 

"  Phoo  !"  exclaimed  Mr.  Storer  ;  "  some  sly 
fellow  among  themselves.  Very  easy  to  keep 
up  a  joke  once  set  a-going  —  confederacy — eh, 
Bernard  ?  Don't  you  catch  the  idea,  eh  .'* — Well 
done,  though." 

"  There  is  no  doubt,"  resumed  Mr.  Kene- 
mall,  "  that  there  is  some  trick  at  the  bottom 
of  the  affair,  but  the  most  unpleasant  part  re- 
mains to  be  told.  After  wondering  and  trem- 
bling where  they  were  for  some  time,  the  men 
discovered  traces  of  blood  along  one  of  the  side 
aisles,  and  following  the  track,  it  led  them  to  a 
grave  on  the  north  side  of  the  churchyard,  on 


140  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

which  they  found  more  stains,  exactly  of  the 
same  kind  as  those  in  the  interior  of  the  tower. 
These  last  were  likewise  perfectly  fresh,  and 
must,  according  to  the  opinion  of  a  butcher  who 
was  present,  have  been  made  when  they  were  in 
the  church.  But  no  person  was  to  be  seen,  ex- 
cept two  or  three  old  women,  who  had  followed 
out  of  curiosity,  and  who  declared  that  they 
had  been  standing  opposite  to  the  tomb  in  ques- 
tion, and  so  near,  that  they  must  have  seen  any 
one  who  had  come  there.*" 

*'  Ay,  that  butcher 's  the  boy  !"  cried  Mr. 
Storer.  "  Bladder — give  it  a  sly  squeeze,  eh  ? 
— well  done  though.  Ride  over  to-morrow — 
have  a  talk  to  him — cunning  chap  that — droll 
dog,  I  '11  warrant.     Get  it  out  of  him  somehow.*' 

"  He  carries  it  off  well  if  he  did  it,"  continued 
the  rector,  ''  for  he  seems  quite  as  much  alarm- 
ed as  the  rest.  I  saw  him  this  morning,  and  he 
was  in  such  a  tremor  as  hardly  to  be  able  to 
go  about  his  business.  But  I  am  going  before 
my  story.  The  men  remained  gazing  for  a 
minute  or  two  upon  what  they  saw  on  the  grave, 
and  then  the  poor  sexton,   clapping  his  hand 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  141 

upon  his  forehead,  cried  out,  *  Then  it's  too 
true;  murder  will  out  !'  and  fell  down  in  a  fit: 
the  rest  of  them  got  the  poor  fellow  home  as 
well  as  they  could,  and  when  he  came  to  him- 
self, he  begged  them  to  send  for  me,  as  he  was 
sure  he  should  die.  I  went,  of  course,  imme- 
diately, and  then  he  told  me  the  strange  story 
which  I  have  just  related,  and  added  that  the 
grave  on  which  the  recent  blood-stains  were 
seen,  was  that  of  a  labourer  who  had  been 
found  murdered  some  years  ago  in  a  wood,  and 
that  strong  suspicions  were  attached  at  the  time 
to  the  man  who  is  now  about  to  be  buried.  I 
desired  him  to  keep  his  own  counsel ;  but  un- 
fortunately the  matter  has  spread,  and  this 
morning  I  find  that  the  whole  of  the  village 
have  got  it  that  the  murdered  man  literally 
came  bleeding  out  of  his  grave  to  toll  the  knell 
of  his  murderer !" 

"  How  very  dreadful  !"  exclaimed  Alicia. 
"  I  almost  wish  I  hadn't  heard  it.  How  pale 
you  look,  Emily  !" 

"  And  so  do  you,"  said  Mrs.  Storer.  "  Here, 
take  my  smelling-bottle." 


142  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  Don't  be  foolish,  my  dear  Ally,"  exclaimed 
her  father.  "It  will  all  end  like  the  other 
ghost  stories — Cock  Lane — Sampford  Peverell 
— all  humbug.  But  a  joke's  a  joke — mustn't 
let  it  go  too  far.  Go  over  to-morrow — consider 
poor  man's  family — innocent,  dare  say — got  ene- 
mies—  suspect  the  butcher  —  see  about  in  the 
morning.     Go,  won't  you,  Bernard  ?" 

"  Certainly,  sir,''  replied  our  hero,  "  if  you 
wish  it." 

"  If  I  wish  it!"  cried  Mr.  Storer.  "  Why 
it's  your  duty,  man.  Think  of  the  poor  fel- 
low's family.  Father's  good  name  everything 
to  children — particularly  poor.  Left  a  widow 
and  children,  eh,  Mr.  Ketchemall  ?" 

"  No,  sir,"  replied  the  rector.  "  He  lost  his 
wife  about  three  years  since,  but  he  has  left  five 
small  children,  the  eldest  nine  years  of  age,  and 
I  am  happy  to  say  that  his  mother,  who  has 
latterly  lived  with  him,  is  in  very  comfortable 
circumstances,  and  able  to  support  them.  She 
was  for  many  years  a  confidential  housekeeper 
in  the  family  of  a  gentleman,  who  left  her  an 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  145 

annuity  at  his  death ;  and  she  is  a  most  worthy 
woman,  constant  in  her  attendance  at  church, 
and  altogether  respectable." 

"  Then  her  peace  of  mind  shall  not  be  de- 
stroyed by  such  tom-foolery  !"  exclaimed  Mr. 
Storer  warmly  ;  and  striking  the  table,  *'  Hang 
me  if  I  suffer  it  —  go  to  the  bottom  of  it.  Be- 
yond  a  joke  when  it  comes  to  that.  Why,  Ber- 
nard, you  look  as  pale  as  the  girls  !  Don't 
believe  in  ghosts  and  hobgoblins,  eh  ?  Not 
such  a  fool,  hope  ?  Cursed  stuff  and  humbug  ! 
Dead  man''s  dead — no  more  walking  then — wish 
it  wasn"*!  so — some  of  'em  owe  me  a  pretty  deal 
of  money  —  know  that.     Like  to  see  'em." 

"  Pray,  papa,  don't  talk  in  that  manner," 
cried  Alicia ;  "  you  quite  terrify  one.  Do  pray 
let  us  have  candles." 

"  Do  pray  swallow  that  glass  of  madeira," 
said  her  father.  "  That 's  the  stuff  for  sending 
your  blue-devils  a  scampering.  Can't  stand 
that,  eh,  Mr.  Catemali  ?  Prefer  port,  eh  ?  No 
ceremony — do  as  you  like  here.  Give  Miss 
Hitchins  a  glass   of  madeira.     Bernard,    take 


144  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

care  of  my  wife.  Know  the  old  saying  ?  vulgar, 
perhaps,  but  ver}^  true,  '  When  you  want  to 
steal  a  young  pig,  tickle  the  old  un,  eh  ?'  " 

It  was  in  vain  that  the  worthy  gentleman  en- 
deavoured to  rally  the  spirits  of  the  little  party. 
A  dullness  appeared  to  hang  over  all;  and  once 
or  twice  Bernard  perceived  that  Alicia  shudder- 
ed involuntarily,  and  then  put  her  hand  to  her 
forehead.  It  was  too  evident  that  she  possessed 
not  the  happy  incredulity  of  her  father  on  the 
subject  of  apparitions  and  the  mysterious  agency 
of  the  dead. 

"  How  easily  could  I  set  her  mind  at  ease  if 
I  dare !"  thought  her  lover :  "  but  then  what 
would  be  the  consequences  ?"  and  endeavouring 
to  trace  them,  he  was  soon  lost  in  a  reverie. 

Mrs.  Storer  and  Emily  seemed  equally  en- 
gaged in  pondering  upon  what  they  had  heard, 
and  even  the  ceremonious  rector  was  now  and 
then  most  unpolitely  absent. 

When  the  ladies  retired,  Mr.  Storer  made 
another  effort  to  rouse  his  visiters  from  their 
lethargy,  and  succeeded,  to  a  certain  extent, 
with  the  calculating  incumbent  of  Audrey,  who 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  145 

looked  forward  to  the  marriage  of  the  baronet 
that  was  to  be,  the  hospitalities  of  the  hall,  &c. 
and  resolved  to  make  himself  agreeable  com- 
pany. Bernard  very  soon  excused  himself  from 
taking  more  wine,  and  followed  the  ladies. 

As  soon  as  his  back  was  turned,  Mr.  Kene- 
mall  observed,  "  A  very  amiable  and  worthy 
young  gentleman,  sir.  I  assure  you  he  bears 
the  best  of  characters.  I  have  a  letter  from  his 
tutor,  a  very  intimate  friend  of  mine,  speaking 
of  him  in  the  highest  terms.  I  shall  be  happy 
to  show  it  you  some  day,  when  you  favour  me 
with  a  call." 

"  Thank  ye,  sir,  thank  ye,"  replied  Mr. 
Storer.  "  Ought  to  have  called  on  you  before 
— know  that  very  well.  Hope  you  don't  take 
it  amiss — don't  mean  to  offend  anybody.  High 
respect  for  the  church — always  had — brought 
up  so — but  hate  ceremony.  Always  glad  to 
see  you,  however,  in  a  family  way.  Give  you 
a  call,  however  ;  come  to-morrow." 

"  I  shall  be  most  happy  to  receive  you,  my 
dear  sir,"  said  the  rector,  endeavourino;  to  fall 
into  the  worthy  merchant's  free  and  easy  man- 

VOL.    I.  H 


146  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

ner.  '*  I  assure  you  that  I  am  no  more  a  lover 
of  ceremony  than  yourself,  and  should  be  very 
glad  to  shake  it  off  entirely  ;  but  men  of  my 
profession  are  under  the  necessity  of  being  ex- 
tremely cautious,  lest  they  should  offend  the 
prejudices  of  others.  I  have  heard  instances  of 
people  absenting  themselves  from  church,  mere- 
ly because  the  clergymen  omitted  some  point  of 
etiquette." 

"  A  pack  of  fools  !"  exclaimed  Mr.  Storer. 
"  Etiquette!  cursed  nonsense!  Heart's  all  — 
soon  see  if  a  man  likes  your  company — ought 
to  know  best  how  you  like  his.  If  not,  don't 
go — don*t  ask— ^ no  offence  —  can't  be  hand  and 
glove  with  everybody,  eh  ?" 

"  There  's  an  old  sa3'ing,  sir,"  observed  the 
rector,  "  that '  when  a  man  has  got  the  forehorse 
of  the  team  by  the  head,' — you  '11  excuse  the 
coarseness  of  the  simile,  I  hope  .?" 

"  Ay,  ay,"  said  the  merchant  smiling,  "  None 
the  worse  for  that.  Like  good  old  sayings — 
deal  of  truth  in  'em.  *  Multum  in  'parvo^  as 
we  used  to  say  at  school.  Come,  sir,  fill  your 
glass  !" 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  147 

Mr.  Kenemall  obeyed  the  order,  and  then  re- 
sumed, "  Well,  sir,  '  When  a  man  has  once  got 
the  fore-horse  by  the  head,'  the  proverb  goes  on 
to  say,  that  '  he  can  lead  him  and  go  just  as  he 
pleases,**  but  mark  me,  the  rest  of  the  horses 
must  follow.  Now  that  is  exactly  the  differ- 
ence between  a  gentleman  of  Mr.  Storer's 
wealth  and  independence  and  a  humble  country 
parson." 

This  adroit  tickling  of  his  host  on  his  most 
sensitive  point,  produced  a  smile,  a  certain  twin- 
kling of  the  eyes,  and  the  following  reply  : — 

"  Well,  well,  something  in  that,  I  see.  Can't 
do  as  you  would  :  sorry  for  it  —  managed  very 
well,  though.  Seemed  to  be  a  favourite,  I 
thought,  that  day  at  the  fete — not  with  me, 
though,  tell  you  plainly — too  much  buckram. 
Like  you  better  now — no  nonsense.  Stopped 
to  dinner  in  a  family-way.  Come  and  see  you, 
shouldn't  otherwise." 

Seizing  the  opportunity,  Mr.  Kenemall  said, 
— "  Why  not  to-morrow  ?  You  are  coming 
over  to  the  Hall.  If  you'll  take  things  just  as 
you  find  them .?     I  can't  pretend  to  entertain 

H  2 


148  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

you  in  the  same  style  as  you  live  in  at  home  — 
but  just  a  plain  joint  and  a  glass  of  old  port — " 

"  Humph/'  quoth  Mr.  Storer  ;  *'  I  'm  deter- 
mined to  get  to  the  bottom  of  that  business — 
give  me  more  time.  Not  a  bad  notion.  What 
time  do  you  dine  ?''^ 

*'  Any  hour  you  please,"  replied  the  rector. 

"  Don't  like  that,"  said  the  merchant ;  "  hate 
ceremony,  mind.     What 's  your  usual  hour  ?" 

"  Five  o'clock,"  answered  Mr.  Kenemall. 
*'  I  trust  that  Mrs.  Storer  and  the  young 
ladies,  and  Mr.  Audrey,  will  likewise  do  me 
the  honour  to  be  of  the  party.  I  am  sure  Mrs. 
Kenemall  will  be  highly  deHghted,  for  she  dis- 
likes formality  as  much  as  myself,  and  really 
we  have  so  much  of  it." 

"  Can't  answer  for  them,"  observed  Mr. 
Storer — "  Speak  to  'em  yourself — Bernard  will, 
dare  say." 

When  the  rector  made  his  invitation  formally 
in  the  drawing-room,  Mrs.  Storer  very  briefly 
replied,  that  she  left  the  matter  entirely  with 
her  husband,  and  would  dine  wherever  he 
thought  fit  to  take  her. 

"  Then  it 's  all  settled,    Parson  .?"  said  the 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  119 

worthy  magistrate,  rubbing  his  hands.  "  That 's 
the  way  we  do  things — all  one  way — bundle  of 
sticks,  eh  ?  Wife  follows  me,  Ally  follows  the 
wife ;  Bernard  follows  Ally,  and  Emmy  wont 
be  such  a  fool  as  to  stay  at  home  by  herself — 
will  you,  my  little  pet  ?  Mind,  no  ceremony — 
plain  joint — no  fuss  —  find  it  out  if  you  do  — 
won''t  come  any  more."" 

Mr.  Kenemall  assured  him  that  he  need  not 
apprehend  anything  on  that  score,  and  then 
took  leave,  and  rode  home  not  a  little  pleased 
with  the  events  of  the  day,  by  which  he  found 
himself  on  such  a  familiar  footing  with  those 
who  would  shortly  form  the  principal  family  in 
his  parish. 

Mr.  Storer  amused  himself  for  some  time  in 
laughing  at  the  joke  of  the  bell-puller,  and 
Bernard  affected  to  join  in  his  merriment ;  but 
the  ladies  were  not  disposed  to  be  so  sceptical, 
and  begged  them  to  desist  from  ridiculing  so 
serious  a  subject. 

*'  Well,  well,''  said  Mr.  Storer,  "  you  Ml 
laugh  yourselves  at  it  to-morrow.  I  '11  ferret 
out  the  ghost  —  this '11  raise  him,  I  '11  warrant," 
and  he  jingled  the  money  in  his  purse. 


150  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

"It  was  a  fine  morning,  when  the  family 
from  Maxdean  Hall  took  their  departure  for 
Audrey.  The  barouche  was  thrown  open,  and 
Bernard  and  the  ladies  occupied  the  inside,  as 
Mr.  Storer  declared  that  he  would  sit  upon  the 
box,  in  order  to  look  about  him.  His  real  mo- 
tive, however,  was  to  have  some  talk  with  his 
old  coachman,  Peter,  a  thorough-bred  metropo- 
litan sceptic  in  all  matters  concerning  ghost- 
craft.  It  struck  the  merchant  that  Peter 
might  pick  up  something  let  fall  by  accident  at 
the  public-house,  and  which  might  not  be 
uttered  in  the  presence  of  his  superiors.  So, 
after  relating  the  strange  story,  he  gave  his  in- 
structions, and  ventured  to  hint  his  suspicions 
of  the  butcher.  4 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  151 

"  Wery  likely,  master,"  said  Peter ;  "  they  're 
queer  chaps,  them  butchers  —  alvays  a  larking. 
I  cotched  von  of  ""em  vonce  running  avay  vith 
my  vip,  and  he  pretended  as  he  thought  it  vos 
his  own  —  but  I  ^U  see  vot  I  can  make  on  'im, 
you  may  depend  upon 't,  Sir.  Tst,  tst !  Vot 
are  you  arter,  ye  warments  ?  The  beastesses 
has  taken  to  shying  lately.  Can't  think  vot 's 
come  to  'em.     Never  did  so  in  Lunnun.'' 

"  Fancy  they  see  ghosts,  mayhap,*"  observed 
Mr.  Storer. 

"  Ha,  ha  !  wery  good,  Sir ;  shouldn't  von- 
der  !"  said  Peter  laughing,  as  in  duty  bound,  at 
his  master's  joke.  "  But,  my  eyes  !  vot  ignora- 
musses  them  bumpkins  be  !  Von  of  'em  axed 
me  t'other  day  if  the  East  Hinges  vosn't  in 
Lunnun  !" 

"  Well,  you  set  him  right,  I  hope,  Peter  ?" 
asked  his  master.  "  Told  him  where  it  was. 
What  did  you  say,  eh  ?  Where  do  i/ou  think 
it  is .?" 

"  Why,  it 's  —  abroad — to  be  sure  !"  replied 
Peter,  with  a  knowing  look,  and  a  useless  flou- 
rish of  his  whip. 


152  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

This,    and   similar   specimens   of  his  coach- 
man's knowledge  and  conscious  superiority  over 
the  bumpkins,  brought  Mr.  Storer  in  high  spirits 
to  Audrey  Hall. 

The  rector  had  perched  a  boy  up  in  a  tree 
which  commanded  the  view  of  a  distant  turn  in 
the  road,  in  order  to  give  timely  notice  of  the 
approach  of  "  the  family."  The  consequence 
was  that  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Kenemall  were  waiting 
at  the  entrance  of  the  park  to  welcome  their 
expected  guests,  and  invite  them  to  take  some 
refreshment  at  the  rectory. 

"  Not  for  me  !  not  for  me,"**  said  Mr.  Storer. 
"  Ladies  do  as  they  like.  Shall  walk  to  the 
church ;  business  first,  eat  by  and  by.  Good 
appetite ;  soon  see  that  when  I  begin ;  but 
business  first :  look  at  the  premises,  eh  ?  You'll 
come,  won't  you  .'^" 

"  I  shall  be  most  happy  to  accompany  you," 
replied  the  rector. 

The  ladies  now,  either  influenced  by  curio- 
sity or  the  cheerfulness  of  the  weather,  seemed 
to  have  shaken  off  their  superstitious  fears,  and 
resolved  to  join  the  reconnoitering  party. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  153 

As  they  walked  slowly  across  the  park,  Mr. 
Storer  contrived  to  get  the  rector  about  a  stone''s 
throw  before  the  rest,  and  tlien  inquired  if  he 
had  made  any  progress  towards  the  discovery  of 
the  hoax,  as  he  termed  it. 

"  Not  the  least,"'  replied  Mr.  Kenemall  grave- 
ly ;  *'  but  I  am  sorry  to  tell  you  that  the  con- 
sequences begin  to  wear  a  more  serious  aspect. 
The  poor  man  was  to  have  been  buried  yester- 
day, but  I  was  informed  then  that  there  was 
some  disappointment  about  the  bearers :  so  the 
funeral  was  deferred  till  this  morning ;  and  now 
the  belief  of  his  being  really  a  murderer  is  so 
strong  and  so  general,  that  there  isn't  a  man  to 
be  found  who  is  willing,  or,  perhaps,  who  dare 
assist  in  carrying  the  corpse  to  the  grave. 
But  the  worst  of  the  affair  is,  the  dreadful  effect 
which  all  this  has  produced  on  the  mind  of  the 
mother  of  the  deceased.  The  attention  she 
gave  to  her  son  during  his  illness,  had  visibly 
impaired  her  own  health,  and  the  shock  which 
she  received  at  his  death  was  very  great.  I  am 
grieved  to  say  that  now  the  prevalent  report 
has  reached  her  ears,  and  wrought  so  powerfully 

H  5 


154  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

both  upon  her  mind  and  body,  that  our  medical 
man  has  just  been  telHng  me  the  worst  conse- 
quences may  be  apprehended  if  her  mind  is  not 
speedily  relieved.  I  have,  therefore,  sent  off  to 
the  neighbouring  villages  to  procure  bearers, 
and  hope,  in  the  course  of  the  day  we  shall  be 
able  to  get  through  the  ceremony." 

"  Let  it  be  done  directly,"  exclaimed  Mr. 
Storer.  "  Bear  it  myself  —  strong  enough. 
Bernard  and  I  —  my  two  servants  —  plenty. 
Come  along.     Go  back — where  is  it  ?'''' 

"  Your  proposal  does  infinite  credit  to  your 
feelings,  my  dear  sir,"  said  the  rector ;  "  but 
pray  don't  turn  back.  I  see  we  have  already 
attracted  the  attention  of  the  ladies." 

"  Never  mind,  never  mind,"  resumed  Mr. 
Storer ;  '"'  poor  woman  dying,  perhaps  —  no 
ceremony — bad  at  any  time — cruel  now.  Come, 
we  '11  carry  the  poor  man." 

"  I  cannot  suffer  it,"  observed  Mr.  Kenemall, 
taking  the  merchant  by  the  arm,  and  le£iding 
him  forward.  "  It  was  not  my  intention  to 
have  told  you,  but  it  is  now  necessary  to  say, 
that  circumstances  have  transpired  which  attach 


THE    INV^ISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  155 

a  very  strong  suspicion  to  the  character  of  the 
deceased,  and  leave  it  at  least  doubtful  whe- 
ther he  were  the  murderer  or  not."''' 

"  Very  extraordinary — very  extraordinary," 
muttered  INIr.  Storer.  "  Alters  the  case,  cer- 
tainly—  don't  believe  in  ghosts  though — won't 
believe — all  humbug  that.  Somebody  in  the 
secret,  though — have  it  sifted — send  for  an  offi- 
cer—  Bow-street  —  must  tell  Bernard.  Here, 
Bernard,"  he  exclaimed  ;  "  come  here — want  to 
speak  to  you.  Don't  want  the  women.  Little 
plan  we've  got — find  out  the  bottom  of  this 
business  somehow.  Mr.  Kenemall  will  tell  you 
all  about  it.    Who 's  that  following  the  women .''" 

"  That 's  Timothy,  my  clerk,  with  the  keys 
of  the  church,"  replied  the  rector. 

"  Humph  !"  said  Mr.  Storer.  "  Go  and 
have  some  talk  with  Timothy.  You  tell  Ber- 
nard about  the  poor  woman — joke's  a  joke  — 
fellow  's  a  scoundrel  now,  whoever  he  is.  Wo- 
man die,  shouldn't  wonder."  Saying  these 
words,  he  went  back,  or  rather  continued  to 
lounge  where  he  was,  till  the  ladies  came  up, 
when  he  saluted  them  very  briefly,  and  said  he 


156  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

meant  to  have  a  chat  with  the  clerk,  in  hopes  of 
hearing  something  more  about  "  raw  head  and 
bloody  bones.  Go  on  —  go  on,"  he  continued 
"never  mind  me — busy  now — like  to  go  through 
with  a  thing — once  begin,  not  stop — no  time 
to  be  pohte  now — find  it  all  out.  Here,  Timothy 
—  want  to  hear  what  you  think  of  this  business. 
Don't  be  in  a  hurry —  plenty  of  time.  Women 
walk  like  turtles — soon  catch  'em  again.  I  say, 
old  gentleman,  who  do  you  suspect  is  at  the 
bottom  of  this  trick  .?" 

Timothy  shook  his  head  very  dolefully,  and 
replied,  "  I  wish  your  honour  could  prove  that 
it  was  a  trick.'" 

"  Hope  I  shall — mean  to  do  so.  Been  hum- 
bugged, Tim — all  humbugged.  Come,  who's 
the  drollest  fellow  here  "^  Every  village  got  a 
wag — joker — or  what  you  please  to  call  him." 

Timothy  could  not  name  any  one  liable  to 
suspicion,  and  so  Mr.  Storer,  to  save  time, 
spoke  of  the  butcher,  and  asked  if  he  was  not 
sometimes  given  to  joking  "^ 

"  Why,  as  for  that,"  replied  the  clerk,  "  can't 
say  he  wasn't  a  little  given  that  way  some' years 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  157 

agone,  but  he  *s  always  been  very  steady  like 
since  he  's  been  married,  and  got  three  children, 
and  another  a  coming." 

"  Ay,  ay,"  said  Mr.  Storer;  '*  set  him  a 
thinking,  I  '11  warrant — find  'em  something  to 
eat — no  joke  that.  So  he  's  never  merry  now  ; 
always  dull,  eh  .?" 

"  Why  I  can't  say  that,"  answered  Timothy, 
"  because  you  see  he  is  often  obligated  to  go  to 
fairs,  and  such  like  places,  and  he  brings  home 
news  of  what  s  going  on  in  the  world  ;  and  so, 
as  his  father  keeps  the  public-house,  why  it 's 
natural  as  he  should  entertain  his  customers  a 
bit." 

This  was  quite  enough  for  the  sanguine 
hearer  to  build  his  hopes  upon.  "  Oho  !" 
thought  he ;  *'  regular  purveyor  of  fun  for  the 
country  club.  Landlord's  son — dare  say  old 
boniface  has  got  off  some  of  his  sour  beer  by 
this  hoax  —  see  it  all  now."  Then,  addressing 
the  clerk,  he  said,  "  Never  mind  me — you  go 
on  with  the  keys.  Tell  'em  I  am  gone  into  the 
village  —  forgot  something — want  to  see  my 
coachman — shall  come  back  here,  or,  perhaps, 


158  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

go  to  the  parsonage — see  church  another  time — 
can't  stop  now."  And  turning  about,  he  began 
to  retread  his  steps,  and,  in  due  course,  reached 
the  shop  of  the  butcher,  who  was  at  the  time 
busily  engaged  in  the  duties  of  his  vocation. 

"  Morning,  butcher,"  said  Mr.  Storer,  whose 
habit  when  he  took  anything  in  hand,  was  to  go 
to  the  point  at  once.  "  Don't  leave  off  chopping 
— business  first,  and  when  that 's  done,  want  to 
have  a  few  words  with  you." 

Now  George  Burrows,  the  butcher,  was  a 
very  active  and  honest  fellow,  about  eight-and- 
twenty  years  of  age,  and  married  to  a  tidy  in- 
dustrious woman,  some  three  years  younger. 
But,  strive  as  he  would,  the  poor  were  unable 
to  buy  much  meat,  and  let  the  quality  be  what 
it  might,  he  had  found  it  impossible  to  induce 
his  richer  neighbours  to  eat  more  than  a  cer- 
tain quantity.  His  father,  the  publican,  too, 
who  might  have  been  his  best  customer,  had, 
for  some  time,  been  going  back  in  the  world, 
as  some  said,  from  inattention,  others  from 
mismanagement ;  but  all  agreed,  partly  from 
the  too  frequent  habit  of  drinking.     The  con- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  159 

sumption  of  the  staple  commodities  sold  by 
each,  was  greatly  increased  in  consequence  of 
the  repairs  and  alterations  in  progress  at  "The 
Hall." 

The  arrival  and  employment  of  so  many 
workpeople  had  been  quite  a  "  God  send""  to 
the  BurrovvseSj  who  were  before  nearly  upon 
the  point  of  coming  to  a  "  stand  still."  George, 
on  this  occasion,  stirred  himself  most  manfully  ; 
and  the  goodness  of  his  character  induced  the 
graziers  and  farmers,  who  were  his  creditors, 
to  trust  him  still  farther,  when  they  beheld  a 
probability  that  he  would  be  able,  by  his  in- 
creased trade,  to  work  himself  out  of  his  diffi- 
culties. So  George  kept  working  away,  and 
was  just  beginning  to  reap  the  fruits  of  his 
praiseworthy  exertions.  The  house  in  which 
he  lived  was  on  the  Audrey  estate.  He 
had  paid  up  all  arrears  of  rent,  and  got  rid  of 
one  or  two  minor  and  importunate  creditors, 
and  his  dear  Sally  had  recovered  her  smiles  and 
blooming  looks,  and  bustled  as  briskly  as  ever 
about  her  domestic  duties. 

Such  was  the  precise  state  of  things   when 


160  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Mr.  Storer  suprised  him  by  entering  his  shop. 
The  first  idea  that  struck  the  honest  fellow 
was,  that  his  visiter  had  come  to  speak  to  him 
about  a  lease,  for  which  he  had  made  applica- 
tion to  the  steward.  The  great  London  mer- 
chant, he  knew,  must  be  a  man  of  business; 
and  nothing  seemed  more  likely  than  that  he 
should  interest  himself  in  the  affairs  of  his  son- 
in-law  elect.  With  this  impression,  he  showed 
Mr.  Storer  into  his  little  back  parlour,  where 
the  latter  immediately  seated  himself  on  a  chair, 
leaned  upon  his  gold-headed  cane,  and  desired 
the  butcher  to  take  a  seat  likewise.  He  then 
began  the  conversation,  by  observing, 

''  Dare  say  you  wonder  what  I'm  come  about 
— think  it  very  foolish  when  I  tell  you,  mayhap. 
Never  mind — IVe  my  reasons-^— strong  enough 
too.  Dare  say  youVe  good  sort  of  man — no 
right  to  think  otherwise — fond  of  a  joke,  though, 
eh?  Gone  too  far — must  come  out  now — for- 
give all  then — get  poor  woman  well.  Let's 
know  how  it  was  —  repent  it  if  you  don't  —  tell 
you  that  plainly.    No  more  legs  of  mutton  and 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  161 

sirloins  to  the  hall  —  no,  no — love  truth  —  hoax 
very  well — very  good — cleverly  done — gone  by 
now — how  did  you  manage  it  ?" 

The  butcher  of  course  expressed  great  sur- 
prise, and  asserted  his  utter  ignorance  concern- 
ing the  transaction  alluded  to,  farther  than  that 
he  was  one  of  the  party  who  went  to  the 
church,  and  declared  he  hadn**t  been  his  "  own 
man  ever  since." 

Mr.  Storer  was  at  first  incredulous:  but  the 
repeated  assertions  of  the  butcher  were  made 
with  such  an  air  of  honest  frankness,  mingled 
with  somewhat  of  offended  pride  at  having  his 
word  doubted,  that  it  became  at  length  impos- 
sible to  suspect  his  veracity. 

"  Well,  well,"  said  the  merchant,  "  say  no 
more — beg  your  pardon  —  wasnH  you,  I  see 
—  must  be  somebody,  though  —  ghost  all  hum- 
bug—  find  it  out  somehow.  Foolish  frolic  — 
wicked  now — woman's  dying — if  she  does — 
fellow'^s  a  murderer." 

He  then  proceeded  to  request  Burrows  to 
assist  him  in  sifting  the  affair  to  the  bottom 


162  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

and  showing  him  a  five-pound  note,  told  him 
it  should  be  his  if  he  succeeded.  George  pro- 
mised to  do  every  thing  in  his  power,  and  said 
there  was  no  occasion  for  any  reward,  as  it 
would  be  a  very  great  relief  to  his  own  mind, 
if  he  could  prove  that  it  was  only  a  trick  :  but 
he  shook  his  head  incredulously,  as  much  as  to 
say  that  it  was  impossible  for  thirteen  people 
to  be  deceived  in  broad  daylight. 

In  the  mean  while,  our  hero  had  been  plunged 
into  the  utmost  perplexity,  and  even  horror,  at 
the  now  serious  consequences  of  his  invisible 
frolic.  The  poor  woman''s  danger  pressed  hea- 
vily upon  his  mind,  and  he  was  several  times  on 
the  point  of  declaring  himself  guilty.  But  then 
he  had  given  his  word  of  honour  that  he  knew 
nothing  of  the  transaction  ;  and,  besides,  the 
woman  might  recover  —  and,  besides  that,  the 
"  circumstances  which  had  transpired"  relative 
to  the  character  of  her  son,  could  not  be 
changed  by  his  confession.  So  he  continued 
silent  and  moody,  endeavouring  to  devise  some 
scheme  to  set  all  right  again,  and  repeatedly 
vowing  within  himself,   that  if  he   could  but 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  163 

get  out  of  this  scrape,  he  would  never  again 
wantonly  make  use  of  his  invisible  secret. 

As  the  ladies  were  in  due  form  shown  the 
yet  visible  traces  of  what  had  occurred,  and 
listened  to  the  horrifying  details  given  in  a 
low  mysterious  tone  by  the  yet  trembling 
Timothy,  Bernard  endeavoured  to  rally  and 
make  light  of  the  affair.  But  there  was  that  in 
his  manner  which  convinced  all  present  of  a 
change  in  his  own  opinions  since  the  preceding 
evening. 

"  Hush  !"  said  Alicia,  when  he  had  uttered 
some  frivolous  remark,  "  you  do  not  think  as 
you  speak.  I  see  by  your  looks,  I  know  by 
the  tone  of  your  voice,  that  your  mind  is  as 
uneasy  as  any  of  ours,  respecting  this  myste- 
rious transaction." 

"  I  own  that  I  am  concerned  for  its  con- 
sequences," replied  her  lover ;  "  I  am  sorry  for 
the  poor  woman  who  is  so  ill.  But  I  am  sure, 
quite  sure  that  the  whole  is  nothing  more  than 
a  foolish  trick,  planned  by  somebody  to  frighten 
these  simple  villagers." 

"  You  may  well  call  it  a  foolish  trick,"  ob- 


164  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

served  Alicia,  gravely,  "  but  if  the  poor  woman 
should  die,  he  who  has  played  it  will  be  neither 
more  nor  less  than  a  murderer." 

"  I  will  go  and  see  how  she  is  directly,'*'* 
exclaimed  Bernard. 

"  Good  heavens  !  Stop — stop  !"  cried  Ali- 
cia, "Mamma!  dear  mamma  !  Look  at  Bernard ! 
How  pale  he  is  !     How  horrid  he  looks  !"" 

"Let  me  go!"  exclaimed  our  hero,  "I  am 
quite  well  —  I  must  see  the  poor  woman.  She 
shall  have  the  best  of  advice." 

They  were  at  this  time  in  the  churchyard  ; 
and  tearing  himself  from  the  ladies,  he  sprang 
over  the  fence,  and  ran,  scarcely  knowing 
where,  through  the  park. 

**  It  is  very  good  of  the  young  squire," 
muttered  the  old  clerk,  "  very  good  of  him  — 
but — '*''  and  he  shook  his  grey  head  mournfully, 
as  if  he  could  have  said  more. 

This  was  not  lost  upon  the  rector,  who  was 
what  the  country  folks  call  "  a  dear  lover  of 
news,"  and  suffered  few  opportunities  to  escape 
him,  which  promised  to  furnish  any  little  mat- 
ter for  "  chit-chat."" 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  165 

Accordingly,  when  his  wife  and  her  fair 
visiters  had  entered  the  park,  and 

Homeward  wound  their  melancholy  way, 

he  detained  his  ancient  Timothy,  under  the 
pretext  of  speaking  to  him  about  the  funeral, 
and  inquired  of  him  the  meaning  of  the  afore- 
said shaking  of  the  head,  and  a  sort  of  sigh 
by  which  it  had  been  accompanied.  After 
some  little  demur,  the  poor  man  said  that  he 
had  had  some  conversation  with  a  very  aged 
woman  in  the  village,  and  that  she  had  repeated 
to  him  certain  prophecies,  which  she  recollected 
to  have  heard  in  her  youth,  and  which  boded 
no  good  to  the  Audrey  family.  Upon  being 
questioned  as  to  their  import,  he  repeated  the 
following, 

When  it  comes  to  pass  that,  on  Audrey's  bell. 
The  murdered  shall  pull  the  murderer's  knell, 
And  the  great  bell  tolls,  by  unseen  hands, 
Then  Audrey's  heir  shall  lose  his  lands. 

Mr.  Kenemall  inquired  if  he  had  ever  heard 
of  the  said  prophecy  before. 

''No,  I  can't  say  that  ever  I  did,"  replied 
Timothy ;  "  but  old  Patty  Pegg  says,  it's  just  as 


166  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

fresh  upon  her  memory  as  if  she  had  been  just 
told  it :  and  yet  she  was  quite  a  girl  when  she 
heard  it  first." 

"  That  is  as  she  fancies,  perhaps/'  observed 
the  rector,  "but  her  memory  is  none  of  the 
best ;  and  what  she  has  heard  about  this  bell- 
pulling  affair  has  most  likely  set  her  a-dream- 
ing." 

Timothy  shook  his  head  again,  and  replied, 
"  But  then,  sir,  how  did  she  get  it  into  rhyme  ? 
People  don't  dream  in  verse — leastwise,  not 
such  unliterate  people  as  her."" 

"  Phoo,  phoo  !""  said  Mr.  Kenemall,  "  any- 
body may  string  a  few  jingling  rhymes  to- 
gether." 

"  Not  quite  so  easy  as  you  may  think," 
observed  Timothy,  who  had  with  great  toil 
and  labour  immortalized  himself,  as  far  as  the 
durability  of  certain  chiselled  head-stones 
would  go  towards  immortality. — "  Not  quite 
so  easy  as  you  may  think,  if  so  be  as  how 
you  never  tried.  I  don't  know  what  I  should 
have  done  for  a  rhyme  to  my  poor  brother 
Peter's  name,  if  it  hadn't  been  as  he  married 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  167 

Polly  Wiggins,  and  so  Higgins  and  Wiggins 
came  in  nicely  ;  but  I  couldn't  hit  upon 
a  rhyme  for  butcher,  and  so  was  obligated  to 
leave  out  his  trade.  I  thought  of  '  soldier,' 
but  then  he  subscribed  to  a  club,  when  he  was 
drawed  for  the  militia,  and  so  got  off  with  a 
substitute,  and  never  went  near  the  army." 

"  Talking  of  butchers,"  said  the  rector  — 
"  How  is  George  Burrows  going  on  ?" 

"  Why,"  replied  Timothy,  "  he  's  picking 
up  his  crumbs  again,  as  we  say."  And  then  he 
went  on,  in  his  own  style,  giving  an  account  of 
the  butcher,  which  amounted  to  much  the  same 
as  has  been  already  related. 

"  He  used  to  be  fond  of  idle  sports  before  he 
was  married,"  resumed  the  rector ;  "but 
some  time  ago  he  appeared  out  of  spirits.  I 
suppose  his  late  good  luck  has  revived  theiji  ?'''' 

"  Why,  yes ;  he 's  not  much  call  to  fret 
now,"  answered  Timothy.  "  I  wish  my  trade 
war  as  good."" 

"  Why,  surely,"  exclaimed  Mr.  Kenemall, 
"  You  don't  wish  all  your  neighbours  to  die, 
tliat  you  may  have  the  pleasure  of  digging  their 
graves  ?" 


168  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  No,"  said  Timothy,  "  I  don't  mean  that 
trade ;  I  means  the  school.  A  pretty  many 
scholards  have  I  lost  since  that  national  consarn 
was  set  a-going.  I  can't  say  I  thinks  it's  quite 
right  for  gentlefolks  to  come  and  take  the  bread 
out  of  one's  mouth,  without  giving  one  no  sort 
of  satisfaction  whatsomever." 

This  was  a  subject  which  the  rector  always 
dreaded  ;  for  though  the  Dashforts,  and  other 
fashionable  charitables,  had  acknowledged  that 
"  the  poor  fellow's  was  a  hard  case,  and  really 
something  ought  to  be  done  for  him,"  nothing 
had  been  done.  So,  in  reality,  the  unlucky 
man  gave  more  towards  the  '*  National"  school 
than  all  the  "  voluntary'^  subscribers.  They 
bestowed  what  they  would  scarcely  miss,  while 
he  was  deprived  of  the  main  stay  and  chief 
support  of  his  old  age  ;  for  the  most  lucrative 
part  of  his  practice,  as  the  village  barber,  had 
long  since  gone  the  way  of  perriwigs  and  hair 
powder,  and  every  one  knows  that  the  dignity  of 
parish  clerk  and  sexton  is  seldom  upheld  by 
any  extravagant  stipend. 

"  I  have  not  forgotten  your  case,  Timothy," 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  169 

said  Mr.  Kenemall,  ''  and  meant  this  very  day 
to  speak  to  Mr.  Audrey  in  your  favour.  But 
I  am  sadly  afraid,  now,  that  the  minds  of  the 
whole  family  will  be  too  much  occupied  with 
this  strange  business  and  poor  Martha's  illness. 
When  they  come  to  live  at  the  Hall,  however, 
you  may  expect  something  to  be  done.  But  I 
was  just  going  to  say,  that  I  have  a  strong 
notion  that  George  Burrows  knows  more  about 
this  matter  than  any  of  you  think,  and  if  you 
could  contrive  to  get  it  out  of  him,  you  'd  not 
only  be  doing  a  very  good  action,  but  would 
raise  yourself  much  in  the  opinion  of  those  who 
can  render  you  the  most  essential  service." 

Timothy  repeated  his  conviction  that  the 
butcher  knew  no  more  of  the  matter  than  any 
of  the  rest,  yet  undertook  willingly  to  sound 
him  on  the  subject,  and  come  up  to  the  rec- 
tory to  report  progress.  By  this  compliance  he 
felt  that  he  was  ensurintr  for  himself  a  ffood 
dinner  that  day,  to  say  nothing  of  the  chance  of 
being  noticed  by  the  young  squire  and  the  rich 
merchant  in  a  way  that  might  be  still  more 
agreeable  to  his  feelings. 

VOL.  I.  I 


170  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

During  this  conversation  they  had  been  walk- 
ing through  the  park,  following  the  ladies, 
whom  Mr.  Kenemall  now  proceeded  to  join,  as 
soon  as  he  had  despatched  his  grey-headed 
assistant. 

"  I  have  some  hope  of  penetrating  this  mys- 
tery,"" said  he.  "  You  will  not  be  much  longer 
in  suspense,  I  trust." 

"  I  shall  be  very  glad,"  replied  Mrs.  Storer ; 
"  I  confess  that  I  feel  extremely  anxious.  But 
look  !  here  comes  my  husband  !  Oh  !  he  sees 
the  clerk  !" 

The  worthy  merchant  at  this  time  was  enter- 
ing the  gate  of  the  park,  and  very  shortly  after- 
ward met  Timothy,  from  whom  he  took  the 
keys  of  the  church,  saying  he  should  walk  there 
and  examine  the  scene  of  action  by  himself 
quietly.  After  leaving  the  butcher''s,  he  had 
gone  directly  to  the  public-house  to  inquire  if 
his  coachman  had  discovered  anything,  and 
while  talking  to  that  self-sufficient  person  he 
saw  Bernard  advancing  hastily  towards  them. 

"  Have    you    seen    the   poor   woman,    Sir  T^ 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  171 

exclaimed  the  latter,  still  panting.  "  Is  she 
better  ?  Where  does  she  live  ?  I  must  see 
her  !^' 

Mr.  Storer  beheld  in  the  anxiety  of  the  in- 
quirer nothing  more  than  the  excess  of  hu- 
manity, and  thinking  that  the  feelings  of  his 
young  friend  were  likely  to  be  relieved  thereby, 
answered — 

"Oh!  she'll  do  very  well.  Time — time. 
Only  a  foolish  panic.      Funeral  over — all  right." 

*'  But  where  does  she  live  ?"  again  asked  our 
hero  :   ''  I  am  resolved  to  see  her  !" 

"  Nonsense,  nonsense,"  replied  Mr.  Storer  ; 
"  do  her  more  harm  than  good.  You  're  not  a 
doctor  —  only  flurry  her.  1 11  tell  you  what 
I  Ve  been  doing.  Go  to  work  same  way  your- 
self. That  's  the  only  way  !  Find  it  out  — 
all  right  then  !" 

He  then  gave  an  account  of  his  own  pro- 
ceedings, and  mentioned  having  promised  a  five- 
pound  note  to  the  butcher  in  case  he  should 
make  the  wished-for  discovery.  Peter  the 
coachman  was  standing  by  during  this  commu- 

I  2 


172  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

nication,  and  having  been  admitted  into  confi- 
dence, thought  himself  quite  at  liberty  to  speak 
his  sentiments. 

"  You  couldn't  V  done  better,  Sir,""  he  said. 
"  Nothing  like  your  flimsies  to  set  'em  a-going. 
I  '11  vorrant  as  he  '11  soon  be  all  over  the  wil- 
/  lage.  A  five-pounder 's  summut  to  sich  a  von 
as  'im.  It  vos  pretty  near  all  up  vith  'im 
t'other  day,  and  I  'm  blest  if  I  don't  think  he  'd 
'a'  taken  all  the  blame  upon  'imself  then  for  'alf 
the  money,  vether  he  knowed  anything  about 
the  consarn  or  not  ?" 

This  insinuation  was  not  lost  upon  Bernard 
Audrey. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  173 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

While  Mr.  Storer  was  making  his  way  to 
the  church,  Bernard  was  sitting  in  the  neat 
little  parlour  of  the  village  surgeon,  apothe- 
cary, &c.  The  disciple  of  Galen  happened  not 
to  be  at  home ;  and  his  rib  could  not  think  of 
making  her  appearance  before  the  squire  or 
baronet  without  first  consulting  her  glass. 
The  few  minutes  which  passed  while  she  was 
thus  employed,  seemed  extremely  long  to  our 
hero ;  for  in  his  present  state  of  mind  he  could 
take  but  small  interest  in  the  specimens  of  birds, 
bats,  cockchafers,  beetles,  butterflies,  snakes, 
and  other  vermin,  which  were  stuffed,  wired, 
pinned,  caged,  and  bottled  all  around  him. 

Mrs.  Semple  at  length  showed  herself,  with 
a  smile,  a  curtsey,  and  an  apology  for  keeping 


174  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

him  waiting.  She  was  what  is  commonly  call- 
ed, a  nice  little  comfortable-looking  body.  It 
was  a  maxim  with  her,  that  keeping  up  a  pa- 
tient's spirits  did  more  good  than  all  the  physic 
in  her  husband's  shop.  And,  to  say  the  truth, 
her  cheerful,  round,  smiUng  face,  and  encou- 
raging gossip,  often  sent  the  poor  away  with 
lighter  hearts  and  better  hopes  than  were 
usually  caused  by  the  longer  visage  and  doubt- 
ful head-shake  of  her  more  profound  spouse. 

Bernard  informed  her  that  his  extreme 
anxiety  respecting  old  Martha  was  the  cause 
of  his  visit,  and  inquired  if  she  was  acquainted 
with  her  husband's  real  opinion  of  the  case. 

"  He  thinks  her  very  ill,  I  know,"  replied 
Mrs.  Semple  ;  "but  I  dare  say  she'll  do  very 
well  after  a  little.  It 's  all  come  upon  her  so 
suddenly,  poor  soul,  that  it's  no  wonder  she's 
a  little  flustered  at  her  time  of  life,  as  she's 
always  kept  up  a  good  character,  and  so  has  all 
the  family  till  now.  But  I  don't  believe  a 
word  about  what  they  say  of  her  son^  not  I." 

"  But  is  the  poor  woman  really  in  imminent 
danger?"  asked  Bernard. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  175 

"  I  know  she's  light-headed,"  answered  the 
little  woman  ;  "  but  we've  a  great  many  light- 
headed patients  that  don't  die :  and  the  doctor 
thinks,  that  when  she  comes  to  herself,  and 
finds  her  son  is  buried  and  all  quiet,  if  they  tell 
her  that  all  these  foolish  reports  are  nothing  but 
nonsense,  and  have  no  ground  at  all, — why  then 
he  thinks  she  may  soon  get  better.  And  so  do 
I  too,  for  I  am  very  sure  an  uneasy  mind 's  the 
cause  of  her  illness,  as  it  is  of  a  pretty  many 
others.  There  was  George  Burrows,  the  butcher, 
had  the  jaundice  six  months  ago,  come  on  all  of 
a  sudden,  and  a  heartier  young  man  in  gene- 
ral you  never  saw.  It  was  all  because  things 
were  going  wrong  with  him,  and  he  took  to 
fretting,  and  thinking  about  his  wife  and  chil- 
dren— and  my  husband  could  do  nothing  for 
him;  and  so  he  went  about  looking  as  miser- 
able as  possible,  with  his  face  as  yellow  as  a  sove- 
reign, till  Sir  William  or  you,  sir,  I  don't  know 
which,  bought  the  estate — and  then,  when  the 
workmen  came  down  from  London,  and  the 
labourers  here  were  employed  at  good  wages, 
and  could  all  buy  a  bit  of  meat  now  and  then, 


176  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

he  got  better  directly.  Oh,  Sir,  you  may  depend 
upon  it  —  make  the  mind  easy,  and  the  body 
•will  take  care  of  itself.  I  've  had  my  troubles, 
in  my  time,  I  promise  you,  and  know  what  I'm 
talking  about.**' 

As  it  would  be  perfectly  useless  to  visit  the 
poor  woman  while  she  was  "  hght-headed," 
Bernard  turned  his  thoughts  to  a  plan  which 
had  struck  him,  for  the  relief  of  her  mind,  with- 
out the  necessity  of  exposing  himself. 

When  Alicia  had  spoken  so  plainly  and  ab- 
ruptly in  the  church-yard,  he  had  hurried 
away,  driven  by  the  impulse  of  the  moment, 
with  the  intention  of  seeking  the  bed-side  of  the 
invalid,  and  confessing  himself  to  be  the  unseen 
cause  of  her  distress.  As  he  hastily  advanced 
to  the  village,  however,  the  too  probable  conse- 
quences of  such  a  step  presented  themselves  in 
formidable  array,  and  told  him  of  loss  of  honour, 
of  the  confidence  of  friends,  and,  too  probably, 
of  Alicia,  whose  evidence  of  superstitious  weak- 
ness, on  the  present  occasion,  had  been  such  as 
to  leave  small  hopes  that  she  would  ever  consent 
to  be  united  to  an  invisible  husband.      But,  the 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  177 

dread  of  causing  the  death  of  a  fellow  creature 
was  sufficient  to  make  him  cling  to  his  previous 
resolution,  being,  moreover,  buoyed  up  by  the 
idea  that  he  should  be  able,  after  relieving  the 
patient's  mind,  to  bribe  her  to  secresy.  He  was 
digesting  this  plan  as  he  entered  the  village. 

"  That  I  may  be  safe,''  thought  he,  "  I  shall 
allow  her  an  annuity,  to  be  sent  in  quarterly 
payments,  and  entirely  dependent  on  her  silence. 
Her  interest  will  then  be  my  security — she  will 
have  no  temptation  to  betray  me." 

This  was  all  settled,  in  his  own  mind,  when, 
he  saw  Mr.  Storer  and  Peter ;  and  a  hint,  drop- 
ped by  the  latter,  appeared  to  open  to  him  ano- 
ther chance  of  escape  from  the  perplexing  con- 
sequences of  his  folly.  So,  matters  being  as 
they  were,  he  told  Mrs.  Semple  that  he  was  of 
the  same  opinion  as  herself  with  respect  to  the 
influence  of  the  mind  over  the  body,  and  added, 

"  The  butcher  you  alluded  to  is,  I  suppose 
then,  now  in  very  good  circumstances  ?" 

"  Oh,  bless  you,  no,"  replied  the  lady,  "trades- 
people can't  get  through  their  troubles  quite  so 
fast  as  that  comes  to.     He's  a  pretty  deal  to  do 

I  5 


178  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

yet  before  he'll  be  even  with  the  world  :  but  he's 
got  plenty  to  do,  for  the  present,  and  employ- 
ment keeps  him  from  thinking,  and  so  from 
fretting  ;  and,  if  things  go  on  as  they  do,  he'll 
get  all  right  by  and  by,  and  pay  every  body 
what  he  owes,  like  an  honest  man  as  he  is. 
That's  what  I  will  say  for  George.  He  owes  my 
husband  a  long  bill,  but  we're  not  at  all  afraid ; 
and  I'm  very  glad,  sir,  that  you  gave  me  an  op- 
portunity of  telling  you  about  him  ;  for,  whea 
you  come  to  live  at  the  Hall,  you  can't  employ 
an  honester  or  a  more  industrious  man." 

All  this  accorded  delightfully  with  Bernard's 
plan  ;  so,  taking  leave  of  the  good-tempered 
little  woman,  he  repaired  immediately  to  the 
butcher's,  consoling  himself  as  he  went  with  the 
hope  that,  after  all,  his  frolic  would  prove  pro- 
ductive of  good  rather  than  evil.  George  had 
just  sent  off  the  old  clerk,  as  he  told  his  wife, 
"  with  a  flea  in  his  ear,"  because  he  had  been 
"bothering"  him  again,  as  if  he  was  a  conjuror, 
and  could  account  for  what  nobody  else  could. 
"  And  the  squire  of  Maxdean  Hall  too  was 
here   but  just   now,"  he   continued,   "  talking 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  179 

about  the  same  business.  I  can't  think  what 
the  people  have  got  in  their  heads.  I  know,  I 
wish  I  could  account  for  it,  for  poor  MarthaV 
sake.  I  wouldn't  keep  it  a  secret  long,  I  know 
that;' 

"  Here  comes  the  young  squire,  I  declare,"*' 
cried  his  wife,  as  Bernard  opened  the  wicket  of 
the  little  front  garden,  and  approached  the 
house. 

Vexed  as  George  was,  and  felt  he  "  had  a 
right  to  be,''  he  nevertheless  knew  his  own  inte- 
rest too  well  to  receive  his  landlord  with  any 
other  than  marks  of  the  greatest  respect. 

Our  hero  was  ushered  into  the  snug,  little 
back  parlour,  which  Mr.  Storer  had  so  recently 
quitted,  and,  like  him,  he  requested  the  butcher 
to  be  seated,  and  addressed  him  as  follows : 
"  My  good  fellow,  I  dare  say  you  will  feel  sur- 
prised, and  very  probably  be  vexed,  to  hear  that 
I  am  come  upon  the  same  errand  which  my 
worthy  friend  has  been  talking  to  you  about 
this  morning.  The  fact  is,  we  are  all,  and  I  am 
most  particularly^  anxious  respecting  this  poor 
woman,  whose  superstitious  fears  will  too  pro- 


180  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

bably  carry  her  to  the  grave,  unless  something 
is  done,  and  that  very  speedily  too,  to  relieve 
her  mind.  Now  I  am  firmly  convinced  that 
the  whole  is  a  juggling,  nonsensical  trick — what 
you  call  a  bit  of  fun,  nothing  more  ;  and  there 
could  not  be  any  harm  in  it,  if  it  were  not  for 
the  poor  woman's  case.  Mr.  Storer  tells  me 
that  you  have  denied  any  knowledge  of  the 
thing,  and,  therefore,  I  don't  ask  you  any  ques- 
tions. For  my  own  part,  I  shouldn't  think  any 
worse  of  a  man  for  such  a  joke  ;  and  to  convince 
you  of  that,  it  was  my  intention,  merely  for  the 
sake  of  the  poor  woman,  to  have  taken  the 
whole  of  the  affair  upon  my  own  shoulders,  and 
have  declared  that  I  had  performed  the  part  of 
the  ghost ;  but  I  found  that  it  was  impossible, 
because  all  the  workpeople  know  that  I  was  in 
my  own  room  at  the  hall  during  the  transac- 
tion ;  so  now  I  really  don^t  know  what  is  to  be 
done.'' 

"  I  wish  I  could  help  your  honour,  with  all 
my  heart,"  exclaimed  the  simple-minded  but- 
cher, "  but  I  don't  see  how  I  can,  because 
there's  a  matter  of  a  score  o'  the  workpeople 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  181 

as '11  swear  you  was  in  the  house,  for,  to  tell  you 
the  truth,  and  I  hope  your  honour  won"*!  be 
offended,  we  had  some  misgivin<T  of  that  kind, 
because  we  knows  as  the  quality  folks  like  a  rig 
now  and  then  as  well  as  we,  particular  Oxford 
and  Cambridge  scholards.  I  hope  your  honour 
won''t  be  offended  with  my  plain  speaking/"* 

"  Not  at  all,  not  at  all,  George,""  replied  Ber- 
nard ;  "  on  the  contrary,  I  like  you  the  better 
for  it.  It  shows  me  I  've  got  a  man  to  deal 
with,  and  not  one  of  your  sneaking  fellows  that 
will  say  black  is  white,  just  as  he  thinks  will 
please  you  at  the  moment.  But  about  this  poor 
woman,  George,  what  can  be  done  ?  We  must 
not  let  her  die  of  fright ;  I  can't  suffer  that. 
I  consider  everybody  in  this  village  to  be  under 
my  protection ;  for  instance,  1  shall  order  my 
people  not  to  buy  a  pound  of  meat  anywhere 
but  of  you,  unless  I  should  see  some  very  strong 
reason  to  suppose  that  you  charge  more  than  a 
fair  profit,  which,  from  what  I  hear,  I  have  no 
reason  to  suppose  you  will  do." 

"  Your  honour  may  depend  upon  it,"  said 
the  delighted  butcher,  "  that  you  shall  always 


182  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

have  the  very  best  I  can  get,  and  at  a  fair 
living  profit.  I  don't  mean  to  say  that  I  can 
sell  meat  at  the  same  price  it  costs  me,  for  if  I 
did,  I  must  cheat  somebody,  and  that 's  not  my 
way.  Nor  I  don't  mean  to  say  that  your  ho- 
nour's servants  mayn't  now  and  then  pick  up  a 
joint  cheaper  at  the  market-towns,  when  there's 
a  bad  sale,  or  a  poor  fellow  wants  money,  or  at 
the  end  of  the  day  ;  but  this  I  will  say,  that  no 
man  shall  supply  your  honour's  table  better 
than  George  Burrows  —  that  is,  to  live;  and 
I  'm  not  extravagant,  and  thank  God,  I  can  go 
to  market  better  now,  and  look  people  in  the 
face.  And  if  I  was  ungrateful  to  your  honour, 
it  would  be  bad  indeed ;  for  your  coming  to  the 
hall  has  been  the  salvation  of  me  and  mine,  and 
that 's  certain  sure. " 

"  I  'm  glad  to  hear  that  it  has  been  of  use  to 
you,"  observed  our  hero ;  "  but  we  are  wander- 
ing from  the  subject  of  poor  old  Martha,  whom, 
being  an  old  and  respectable  inhabitant  of  the 
village,  I  consider  to  have  the  same  claim  on 
me  as  the  rest.  Now  there  's  only  one  way  that 
I  can  think  of  for  setting  her  mind  at  ease,  and 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  183 

I  dare  say  you  *11  think  it  a  very  odd  way  ;  but 
I  can't  contrive  any  other,  nor  can  I  very 
well  go  about  that  without  your  assistance."*** 

The  butcher  eagerly  professed  himself  wilHng 
to  do  everything  in  his  power,  and  rubbed  his 
hands  for  joy,  at  the  idea  of  being  able  to  do 
anything  to  oblige  his  young  landlord. 

"  The  whole  of  the  affair  is  this,"  continued 
Bernard,  "  we  must  get  somebody  to  confess 
himself  the  deviser  and  actor  of  this  trick.  If 
we  could  find  out  the  real  person,  and  persuade 
him  to  do  so,  it  would  certainly  be  better,  as  I 
don"*!  like  to  encourage  anything  like  falsehood  : 
but  when  life  is  at  stake,  I  think  myself  justi- 
fied in  telhng  you,  that  I  will  make  it  well  worth 
any  one's  while  to  take  the  blame  of  this  non- 
sensical trick  upon  himself.  Now,  don't  you 
know  some  active,  shrewd  young  fellow,  such 
another  as  yourself,  who  would  just  say  that  he 
took  up  some  blood  in  a  bottle  or  a  bladder, 
and  dropped  it  along,  and  make  up  a  tale  about 
the  bell-rope — or  shake  his  head  knowingly,  and 
sat/  that  he  did  it,  but  wouldn't  tell  how  ?  The 
confession  is  all  I  want,  as  that  would  save  the 


184  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

woman's  life  ;  and  I  wouldn't  mind  giving  fifty 
pounds  out  of  my  own  pocket  to  obtain  it.'"' 

"  As  for  the  matter  of  that,"  observed  Bur- 
rows, "  I'm  sorry  to  say  as  weVe  two  or  three 
chaps  here  as  would  swear  to  any  lie,  and  stick 
to  it  too,  for  half  as  many  shillings  :  but  then  that 
wouldn''t  do  no  good,  because  nobody  would  be- 
lieve 'em,  particularly  old  Martha,  who  knows 
all  the  people  in  the  village  as  well  as  I  do  my 
own  children." 

Bernard  went  on  to  repeat  that  something 
must  be  done,  and  that  quickly,  and  that  he 
himself  would  most  certainly  have  taken  the 
thing  on  his  own  shoulders,  but  for  having  un- 
luckily attracted  the  attention  of  his  workpeo- 
ple. At  length  he  ventured  to  hint  his  wish 
that  the  butcher  should  become  the  scapegoat. 

The  poor  fellow  started  back  at  the  proposal ; 
the  colour  mounted  into  his  cheeks,  and  he  felt 
as  if  he  could  have  knocked  any  other  man 
down  who  had  dared  so  to  insult  him. 

"  Don't  be  angry,  George,"  resumed  Ber- 
nard, "  after  I  have  told  you  what  I  would 
myself  do  if  I  could,    you    cannot   suppose    I 


THE    IN.VISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  185 

mean  to  offend  you,  nor  think  you  would  be 
doing  wrong.  On  the  contrary,  when  Martha 
recovers,  I  shall  envy  you  the  reflection  that 
you  will  have  saved  her  life,  and  as  nobody  but 
myself  will  know  how  much  it  will  cost  you  to 
make  this  sacrifice  to  your  love  of  truth,  you 
will  make  me  your  warm  and  steady  friend 
hereafter.  That  you  may  see  how  much  I  am 
in  earnest,  I  will  make  the  fifty  a  hundred 
pounds — and,"  he  continued,  taking  out  his 
pocket-book,  and  displaying  its  contents,  "  here 
are  the  notes,  all  ready  for  you,  as  soon  as  you 
shall  have  made  up  your  mind.  Well — I  '11 
give  you  an  hour  to  think  of  it — don^t  be  hasty 
— think  over  what  I  have  said  coolly,  and  let 
me  know  tiie  result  at  the  rectory,  where  I  shall 
dine  to-day." 

He  then  rose  to  depart,  and  the  butcher 
showed  him  out  with  great  apparent  respect, 
but  mingled  with  a  certain  stiff  air  of  offended 
pride,  which  raised  him  not  a  little  in  the  opi- 
nion of  his  tempter. 

Immediately  he  was  left  alone,  the  poor  fel- 
low set  about  his  wonted  occupations,  and  re- 


186  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

solved  to  dismiss  the  conversation  which  had 
just  passed,  entirely  from  his  mind.  This,  how- 
ever, was  no  easy  task  —  for,  ever  and  anon,  in 
the  midst  of  his  work,  he  caught  himself  making 
a  rough  calculation  of  the  advantages  he  might 
derive  from  the  possession  of  a  hundred  pounds, 
all  in  ready  money.  There  was  to  be  a  sale,  by 
auction,  of  a  grazier''s  stock,  about  five  miles  off, 
in  the  course  of  the  week.  The  steward  had 
given  him  leave  to  turn  as  many  sheep  as  he 
pleased  into  the  park.  Then  he  thought  what 
a  delightful  thing  it  would  be  to  surprise  the 
three  rich  graziers,  who  were  his  principal  cre- 
ditors, and  who  had  been  so  kind  to  him,  by 
taking  them  ten  or  even  twenty  pounds  each. 
But  still  he  kept  cutting  and  chopping  away, 
muttering  occasionally  "  Honesty's  the  best  po- 
licy."    "  No  good  ever  comes  of  lying." 

In  spite  of  these  good  resolutions,  it  oc- 
curred to  him  that  he  had  rode  by  the  lonely 
church,  on  his  way  home,  almost  immediately 
after  the  sexton  had  left  it ;  so  that,  if  he  chose 
to  take  the  credit  or  blame  of  what  had  happen- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  187 

ed,  no  one  would  be  enabled  to  prove  an  alibi, 
as  in  the  case  of  Mr.  Audrey. 

In  the  midst  of  these  cogitations,  his  aged 
parent,  the  publican,  entered  the  shop,  with  a 
downcast,  melanchol}^  look. 

"  What's  the  matter,  father  P'**  exclaimed 
George:   "  nothing  particular,  I  hope?" 

"  Ay,  but  there  is  though  !"  groaned  the 
old  man,  fumbling  in  his  pockets,  and  at  last 
pulling  out  and  handing  a  letter  to  his  son, 
"  look  at  that  !  Confound  'em  !  I  thought 
they  would  have  waited  a  bit  longer,  now  trade's 
better.  But,  I  know  how  it  is  —  they  want  to 
get  me  out  o'  the  house — and  out  I  must  go, 
unless  I  can  raise  forty-one  pounds,  and  I'm 
sure  I  don't  know  where  to  look  for  a  quarter 
of  the  money." 

George  took  the  letter  and  read  as  follows. 

"  Sir, 

"  I  am  instructed  by  Messrs.  Mashem  and 
Co.  to  take  legal  measures  for  the  recovery  of  the 
sum  of  forty-one  pounds  six  shillings  and  six- 


188  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

pence,  being  the  amount  of  the  balance  of  your 
account  due  to  them  up  to  last  Midsummer;  and 
if  the  said  sum  is  not  paid  to  me  in  three  days 
from  the  date  hereof,  I  shall  proceed  immedi- 
ately, without  further  notice  or  delay.  I  am,  Sir, 
"  Your  most  obedient  servant, 

"  Jabez  Springall." 

"  But  haven^  3^ou  got  any  money  at  all  by 
you,  father?"  inquired  George. 

"  Only  three  one  pound  notes  and  a  few  shil- 
lings," replied  the  old  man,  with  a  sigh. 

"  I  wish  I  'd  known  this  before  I  paid  my 
rent  t'other  day,"  said  George ;  "  the  steward 
would  have  waited  longer  for  that,  only  I  wish- 
ed to  get  all  right  before  Sir  William  comes 
back,  because  I  'm  in  hopes  of  getting  a  lease 
and  a  bit  of  land." 

''  Lord  knows  what 's  to  become  of  me  in  my 
old  age,''  groaned  the  father.  "  AH  the  rest  of 
my  creditors  will  be  upon  me  directly  they 
know  of  this,  and  the  London  folks  have  been 
writing  to  me  to  pay  for  the  half  pipe  of  wine 
that  their  traveller  made  me  give  him  an  order 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  189 

for,  after  making  me  more  than  half  drunk, 
though  I  remember  as  well  as  if  it  was  this  mo- 
ment,  that  he  said  I  needn't  be  in  any  hurry 
about  paying  for  it,  and  I  shouldn't  have  order- 
ed it  at  all  else,  and  did  so  only  because  the 
surveyor  and  his  clerks  wanted  a  bottle  now 
and  then.  They'll  all  be  upon  me  now,  and 
there  '11  be  a  scramble  for  what  they  can  get, 
and  I  shall  be  turned  out  of  house  and  home. 
I  wish  I  M  died  when  your  poor  mother  did, 
George  !" 

"  Don't  talk  so,  father  !"  said  the  son  ;  "  if 
the  worst  comes  to  the  worst,  you  can  come  and 
live  with  us  anyhow.  But  I  hope  —  I  have 
some  hopes  of,  perhaps,  doing  something  for 
you.  The  young  squire,  that  is  to  be  the  ba- 
ronet, was  here  just  now — and  —  I  think — per- 
haps —  but  I  don't  know  what  to  say  about  it. 
It  goes  sadly  against  the  grain." 

"  Ay,  ay  !  I  know  what  you  mean,"  said  the 
old  man.  '  He  who  goes  a  borrowing  goes  a 
sorrowing,'  I  know  that  pretty  well,  to  my  cost. 
But  they  do  say  that  he  and  the  squire  from 
London    too,  are    very    good    sort    of    people, 


190  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

and  if  I  could  but  get  through  this  business/ 
and  pay  ofF  the  brewers.  May  dwell  the  maltster 
would  be  very  glad  to  serve  me,  and  I  would 
brew  my  own  beer  again,  as  we  used  to  do 
when  your  poor  mother  was  alive ;  and  that 
makes  a  precious  difference,  as  I  've  good  cause 
to  know  since  the  brewers  have  had  me  under 
their  thumb." 

"  Well,  father,"  said  George,  "  you  'd  bet- 
ter go  home,  and  not  say  anything  to  anybody 
about  it,  and  I  ""ll  see  what  can  be  done,  and 
step  up  to  you  in  the  course  of  the  afternoon. 
Keep  up  your  spirits/' 

"  Hard  work  that,  George,"  observed  the  old 
man.  "  But  there — there  —  I  will  try — God 
bless  you,  my  good  lad  !  I  know  you  '11  do  all 
you  can  for  me.  But  don"'t  go  to  hurt  yourself 
along  of  my  concerns.  Mustn''t  forget  Sally 
and  the  children.  I  must  just  have  a  look  at 
little  Georgy  before  I  go.  Bless  his  heart  ! 
He  little  thinks  what  a  world  of  trouble  he  's 
come  into.     Heigho  f 

When  the  aged  grandfather  had  got  the 
child  upon  his  knee,  he  hung  over  it  with  more 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  191 

than  usual  fondness.  The  little  prattler  seemed 
struck  with  the  change  in  his  manner,  and, 
after  looking  up  in  his  face  attentively,  exclaim- 
ed, *'  Ganpa  —  ooVe  been  crying  !  Some 
naughty  man  hurt  Ganpa.  Tell  Georgy  what 's 
matter  —  Georgy  got  sword  now — won't  let  no- 
body hurt  Ganpa."  And  then  he  threw  his 
little  arms  round  the  neck  of  the  grey-headed 
old  man,  who  clasped  the  innocent  to  his  bosom, 
and  hanging  over  him,  was  no  longer  able  to 
restrain  the  gathering  tears  against  which  he 
had  manfully  struggled. 

The  poor  butcher  was  witness  to  this  little 
scene,  and  for  a  moment  he  gazed  in  silence  — 
then  bit  his  lip  ;  took  up  his  chopper — affected 
to  make  use  of  it  —  threw  it  down  again  —  re- 
peated the  action  twice,  and  at  last  seized  his 
hat,  threw  it  on  his  head,  and  hurried  out  of 
the  shop. 

The  rector  had  determined  to  be  as  punctual 
as  Mr.  Storer  in  the  hour  of  dinner,  and  it 
wanted  only  five  minutes  to  five  when  Bernard's 
valet  entered  the  drawing-room,  and  whispered 
something  in  his  master'^s  ear,  which  caused  the 


192  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

latter  to  leave  the  room  immediately,  with  a 
light  step  and  a  cheerful  air.  The  butcher  was 
waiting  for  him  in  a  small  parlour. 

"  Well,  George,"  said  our  hero,  "  I  thought 
you  were  a  man  of  too  much  sense  not  to  come 
to  a  proper  conclusion  ?" 

"  As  to  that,  your  honour,"  replied  Burrows, 
"  I  '11  tell  you  plainly,  that  if  I  didn't  want  the 
money  I  wouldn't  have  anything  to  do  with  it — 
and — even  now  I  've  a  great  mind  not." 

''  Phoo,  phoo  !"  exclaimed  Bernard ;  "  consi- 
der, there  's  a  life  at  stake.  It 's  a  good  deed  ; 
a  humane  act ;  depend  upon  it  you  '11  never 
repent  of  making  a  little  sacrifice  of  your  own 
scruples  to  ensure  the  happiness  of  others  .?" 

"  I  hope  not,"  observed  George,  "  for  I  call 
your  honour  to  witness  that  it  is  only  on  ac- 
count of  others  — " 

"  There  are  the  notes,"  said  Bernard,  throw- 
ing them  upon  the  table.  "Put  them  in  your 
pocket.  All  you  have  to  do  is  to  put  your 
name  to  this  paper,  which  I  got  ready  because  I 
knew  you  would  come.     Here,  Andrews  !"  he 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  193 

continued,   opening   the    door   and    calling   his 
valet,  who  waited  outside  by  his  orders. 

"  They  have  just  put  the  dinner  on  table, 
sir,"  said  the  man,  entering. 

"  Write  your  name  there  !"'''  exclaimed  our 
hero  in  a  hurried  manner.  George  hesitated  a 
moment.  "  Just  here,"''  said  our  hero,  putting 
his  finger  on  the  paper,  and  not  venturing  to 
meet  the  eye  of  his  victim.  George  trembled 
as  he  wrote,  and  then  heaved  a  sigh. 

"•'  That 's  right,  my  fine  fellow,"  said  Bernard, 
drawing  the  paper  towards  him  and  signing  it 
with  his  own  name  as  a  witness.  "  They  are 
all  waiting  for  me  to  begin  dinner,  so  I  can't 
say  any  more  to  you  now,  but  I  '11  give  you  a 
call  next  time  I  come  over,  and  recollect,  I 
shall  want  a  whole  ox  for  the  workpeople  at 
Christmas." 

With  these  words  he  left  the  room  in  high 
spirits,  and  the  poor  butcher  returned  to  his 
home,  he  hardly  knew  how. 


VOL.  I.  K 


194  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

Bernard  obtained  great  credit  for  his  per- 
severance and  the  discovery  of  a  mystery,  the 
fame  of  which  had  already  spread  far  and  wide 
throughout  the  country.  Mr.  Kenemall,  at  the 
request  of  all,  wrote  a  note,  at  the  dinner-table, 
desiring  Mr.  Sample,  the  surgeon  and  apothe- 
cary, to  carry  the  good  news  to  poor  Martha ; 
and,  in  due  course,  a  reply  came  to  say  that  the 
intelligence  seemed  to  have  produced  the  most 
favourable  effect. 

Our  hero  was  in  high  spirits  that  evening, 
and  in  his  way  home,  congratulated  himself 
upon  the  possession  of  his  invisible  gift.  "  To 
be  sure,"  thought  he,  "  it  has  given  me  some 
trouble  in  this  last  affair,  but  then  I  should  not 
otherwise  have  known  anything  of  the  character 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  195 

of  honest  Burrows,  nor  have  had  it  in  my  power 
to  serve  him  so  eft'ectually.  And  poor  Martha 
too :  I  '11  see  what  can  be  done  for  her  and 
her  grandchildren.  Really  this  frolic,  after  all, 
has  made  me  what  a  country  squire  ought  to  be. 
It  has  brought  me  into  contact  with  the  people 
whom  I  ought  to  know,  and  made  us  intimate 
with  the  clergyman,  who  really  appears  to  be  a 
very  friendly,  hospitable,  decent  sort  of  fellow. 
Couldn't  have  known  him  otherwise,  for  we 
were  all  prejudiced  against  him,  and  thought 
him  little  better  than  a  buckram  toadeater.  Free 
and  easy  as  an  old  glove,  now  we  're  acquainted. 
And  poor  old  Timothy  too,  the  psalm-singing 
old  sinner  !  I  Ve  pretty  nearly  frightened  him 
out  of  his  wits,  so  I  must  contrive  some  way  of 
making  him  amends.'' 

In  spite,  however,  of  this  determination  to 
view  everything  in  the  most  favourable  light,  he 
could  not  avoid  reflecting  on  his  pillow  at  night, 
with  some  uneasiness,  upon  the  multitude  of 
falsehoods  into  which  he  had  been  entrapped. 
Counting  them  was  now  quite  out  of  the  ques- 
tion ;  they  were  numberless.     Then  he  was  not 

K  2 


196  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

only  become  an  habitual  liar  himself,  but  had 
bribed  another  to  sign  an  untruth.  Yet,  unsa- 
tisfactory as  all  this  was,  he  managed  to  justify 
himself  to  himself,  by  quoting  the  purity  of  his 
motives;  and  so  it  happened  that,  though  his 
dreams  were  of  an  odd  kind,  his  slumbers  were, 
upon  the  whole,  quiet  and  refreshing. 

"  What  d''ye  mean  to  do  with  yourselves  to- 
day ?""  asked  Mr.  Storer,  the  next  morning  at 
breakfast.  "  Think  I  shall  drive  over  to 
Audrey.  Got  something  in  my  head — never 
mind — tell  you  when  I  come  back — meet  at 
dinner,  eh .?'' 

His  good  lady  said  she  had  certain  domestic 
duties  to  attend  to,  and  should  not  stir  out,  and 
the  young  people  resolved  to  have  a  day  of  rest 
and  quietness  at  home. 

After  the  worthy  merchant  had  taken  his 
departure,  Bernard  chatted  over  their  plans 
with  Alicia,  walked  with  her  in  the  pleasure- 
ground,  sate  by  her  side,  or  leaned  over,  as  she 
played  and  sang  him  certain  of  his  favourite 
airs,  and  was  altogether  as  happy  as  favoured 
lovers  usually  are  on  such  occasions." 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  197 

"  Did  you  ever  hear  Emily  sing?"  asked 
Alicia. 

"  No,*"  replied  Bernard ;  "  1  was  not  aware 
she  could.  She  has  always  declined  when 
asked." 

"  That  is  from  modesty,  or  bashfulness,  or 
wliatever  you  please  to  call  it,"  said  Alicia. 
"  I  assure  you  that  it  is  one  of  the  greatest 
treats  you  can  have,  if  ever  you  should  be  able 
to  hear  her,  when  she  thinks  she  is  quite  secure 
of  not  being  heard.  Even  though  we  are  such 
old  friends,  she  is  quite  nervous  before  me. 
Her  voice  is  not  strong,  but  it  is  so  clear  and 
sweet  you  can  have  no  idea." 

Nothing  more  was  said  on  the  subject,  and 
shortly  afterwards  Alicia  retired  to  her  room 
for  the  purpose,  as  she  said,  of  writing  a  long 
letter,  and  Bernard  went  to  the  stables,  to  look 
at  and  give  some  orders  respecting  his  horses. 
As  he  returned  to  the  house,  his  unlucky  ears 
unluckily  caught  the  sounds  of  music.  "  Ah," 
thought  he,  "  that  must  be  Emily,  for  Alicia 
is  writing,"  and  he  advanced  along  the  hall  as 
quickly  as  possible. 


198  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

The  room  in  which  the  young  lady  was  sit- 
ting, could  not  be  entered  without  passing 
through  another,  at  the  door  of  which  he  stood 
awhile  and  listened ;  but  the  distance  was  too 
great  to  allow  of  his  hearing  more  than  faint, 
yet  apparently  exquisite  modulations. 

*'  I  have  a  great  mind,"  thought  Bernard, 
"  to  enter  unseen.  Why  should  I  not  ?  No 
harm  can  possibly  arrive  from  gratifying  such 
an  innocent  curiosity.''  Yet  still  he  hesitated, 
from  the  recollection  of  how  much  trouble  he 
had  been  subjected  to  by  frolics  apparently  as 
harmless. 

At  that  moment  the  harmonious  tones  sud- 
denly ceased,  and  then  he  distinctly  heard  the 
approach  of  light  footsteps  from  the  inner  room. 
The  idea  of  being  caught  listening  decided  the 
question,  for  the  hall  in  which  he  stood  was  too 
large  to  admit  of  escape.  So  he  pulled  his  left 
ear,  and  stepped  aside,  at  the  moment  Emily 
opened  the  door,  and  looked  suspiciously  round. 

"  I  thought  I  heard  some  one,"  she  whisper- 
ed, advancing  a  few  paces,  and  thereby  afford- 
ing Bernard  an  opportunity,  of  which  he  availed 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  199 

himself,  to  slip  into  the  room  she  had  just  quit- 
ted. When  she  had  perfectly  satisfied  herself 
that  the  coast  was  quite  clear,  she  returned  to 
her  amusement,  and  thus  afforded  great  de- 
light to  her  invisible  auditor. 

The  old  Adam  and  Eveish  feeling,  which  is 
ever  urging  poor  mortals  to  set  an  undue  value 
on  forbidden  or  stolen  pleasures,  might,  on  that 
occasion,  have  been  exercising  its  influence 
over  Bernard.  He  thought  he  had  never  heard 
any  singing  so  naturally  touching,  simple,  and 
perfect  in  its  kind.  The  fair  warbler  seldom 
finished  any  one  thing,  but  ran  from  piece  to 
piece,  and  from  song  to  song,  sometimes  accom- 
panying herself  on  the  piano,  and  sometimes 
with  the  harp.  Now  and  then  she  would,  in 
the  fulness  of  good  spirits,  catechise  herself 
playfully. 

"  No,  Miss  Emily,"  she  said,  that  won't  do. 
Tm  sure  you  can  sing  better  than  that,  if  you 
will  but  try.  Open  your  mouth,  you  silly 
creature,  there'*s  nobody  to  hear  you." 

She  then  went  on  with  her  practice ;  and  as 
she  confined  herself  generally  to  simple  melo- 


200  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

dies  and  ballads,  precisely  suited  to  her  style 
and  voice,  even  a  connoisseur  might  have  felt 
pleasure  in  listening  to  her.  Bernard,  how- 
ever, was  far  more  of  an  amateur  than  a  con- 
noisseur. He  became  perfectly  enraptured, 
and  had  once  or  twice  nearly  forgotten  his 
present  character  so  far  as  to  express  his  ap- 
probation aloud. 

"I'll  try  that  *Just  like  love'  of  DavyV' 
she  exclaimed,  "  they  say  it 's  a  little  out  of 
my  way^ — but  never  mind.  Where  can  it 
be .''"  I  know  it 's  in  one  of  these  books  ;"  and 
she  began  searching  where  Bernard  knew  her 
search  would  be  fruitless;  but  it  was  impossi- 
ble for  him  to  direct  her.  So  he  stood  an 
unseen  and  impatient  witness  of  what  passed, 
till  she  gave  up  the  pursuit,  and  selecting 
another  piece,  left  the  piano,  and  sat  down  to 
the  harp. 

But  the  song  she  had  named  was  one  of  our 
hero's  particular  favourites,  and  the  book  in 
which  it  was  bound,  lay  close  by  him.  There- 
fore he  took  an  opportunity,  while  Emily's 
attention  was  otherwise  engaged,  of  slily  turn- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  201 

ing  the  leaves  and  leaving  the  folio  open  at  the 
desired  page.  AVhen  the  unsuspecting  per- 
former, therefore,  retired  from  her  harp,  she 
was  greatly  astonished. 

"  Why,  what  could  1  be  thinking  about  ?" 
she  exclaimed.  "  It  is  the  most  extraordinary 
thing  I  ever  saw  in  my  life.  I  declare  I  don't 
believe  I  looked  in  this  book  at  all.  And  yet, 
that's  nonsense — because,  if  I  hadn't,  how  could 
it  have  come  here.?  Well  —  I'll  try  what  I  can 
make  of  the  song,  however,"  and  saying  these 
words,  she  sat  down  to  the  piano.  She  acquit- 
ted herself  in  a  style  that  perfectly  astonished 
her  invisible  hearer  ;  and  then  rose  and  went 
again  to  the  harp. 

"  She  is  quite  in  the  humour  for  singing," 
said  Bernard  to  himself,  "  and  in  most  excellent 
voice.  There  are  some  more  of  my  favourites 
in  that  book  :  and  as  I  can't  ask  her,  I'll  just 
turn  to  one  presently,  for  I  'm  sure  she  doesn't 
know  where  she  left  it  open." 

Emily  was  sitting  at  the  harp  with  her  back 
towards  him,  as  before;  but  the  book  now, 
instead   of  lying   flat   upon    the   piano,    stood 

K  5 


202  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

upright  against  the  frame,  as  when  she  had 
been  singing,  and  it  so  happened  that  she  saw 
it  reflected  in  a  glass  opposite  to  her.  Great 
was  her  astonishment  to  perceive  the  leaves  in 
motion,  and  turning  backward  and  forward,  as 
though  possessed  of  life.  All  music  and  sing- 
ing were  of  course  instantly  at  an  end,  and 
she  felt  herself  trembling  as  she  gazed  at  the 
phenomenon. 

Bernard,  who  could  neither  see  her  face, 
nor  imagine  that  he  was  the  cause  of  her 
silence,  proceeded  in  his  task  as  cautiously  and 
noiselessly  as  possible.  When  Emily  turned 
round,  he  let  fall  the  leaf  which  he  had  in  his 
hand,  and  clearly  read  the  consequences  of  his 
rashness  in  the  paleness  and  expression  of  her 
countenance.  The  poor  girl  stared  wildly, 
lifted  her  hand  to  her  forehead,  gasped  a  sort 
of  shuddering  exclamation,  and  then  instead  of 
fainting,  rushed  out  of  the  room.  Bernard 
followed,  and  saw  her  flying  up  the  staircase 
as  if  she  had  wings.  It  then  became  necessary 
for  him  to  decide  what  he  should  do  with 
his  invisible  self. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  203 

"  I  cannot  make  my  appearance  here  di- 
rectly," said  he,  *•  I  must  first  be  seen  coming 
from  some  distance  towards  the  house.  Poor 
Emily  !  I  am  sorry  that  I  frightened  her.  But 
she  will  soon  get  the  better  of  it.  We  must 
laugh  her  out  of  it,  and  persuade  her  it  was 
all  fancy.  She  is  not  so  nervous  as  some  young 
ladies,  or  she  certainly  would  have  fainted,  and 
then  I  don't  know  what  I  should  have  done." 

Endeavouring  thus  to  persuade  himself  that 
no  unpleasant  consequences  would  result  from 
his  folly,  he  made  his  way  into  a  sheltered  part 
of  the  grounds,  for  the  purpose  of  choosing  a 
retired  spot  in  which  he  might  pull  his  right 
ear  in  security. 

In  the  mean  while,  the  terrified  Emily  had 
rushed  into  the  boudoir  of  her  dear  friend 
Alicia,  and  told  her  strange  tale  as  well  as 
she  was  able.  Alicia  could  not  forbear  smiling, 
and  begged  her  to  consider  the  impossibility 
of  the  thing. 

"  My  dear  girl,"  said  she,  "  it  must  have 
been  entirely  fancy,  or,  perhaps,  it  might  be 
the  wind  ;  or,  indeed,  you  know  very  well  that 


204  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

books  will  not  remain  open  in  one  place.  But 
I  see  you  are  really  frightened — smell  this 
bottle,  my  love,  you  '11  soon  be  better." 

Emily  soon  recovered  sufficiently  to  give  a 
more  detailed  account,  in  which  she  adhered  to 
her  former  assertion  that  the  leaves  of  the 
books  positively  and  deliberately  turned  them- 
selves backward  and  forward,  and  added  the 
extraordinary  circumstance  of  its  having  opened 
itself  at  "  Just  Uke  love." 

"  I  am  now  quite  sure,"  she  said,  "  that  I 
did  not  previously  even  touch  that  book, 
though  I  hunted  for  the  song  in  vain,  in  several 
others." 

"  Well,  my  dearest  Emily,"  observed  her 
incredulous  friend,  "all  I  can  say  is,  that  it 
is  a  most  wonderful  book,  and  a  very  polite 
book  too,  to  open  itself  just  where  you  wished. 
But,  come,  come,  let  us  go  and  look  at  it. 
You  will  find  it  all  right  now,  I  have  no  doubt. 
You  sang  a  little  too  long,  and  exerted  your- 
self too  much ;  and  then  a  sort  of  dizziness  is 
very  apt  to  come  over  one.  I  have  experienced 
the  same  thing  myself  very  frequently." 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  205 

Emily  was  not  to  be  persuaded  against  the 
evidence  of  her  senses;  and  when  they  visited 
the  music-room,  the  quietude  of  the  book 
afforded  her  no  proof  of  her  delusion.  But 
she  felt  that  it  was  impossible  to  be  offended 
with  Alicia,  for  not  crediting  so  extraordinary 
a  circumstance  ;  and,  after  a  little  reflection, 
resolved  to  appear  as  though  she  herself  attri- 
buted the  whole  to  some  optical  delusion. 

"  It  is  much  better  to  seem  so  convinced," 
thought  the  kind-hearted  girl,  *'  for  if  Alicia 
believed  what  I  saw,  it  would  only  make  her 
unhappy  and  terrified  as  I  am.  Oh  !  I  dare 
not  think  of  it.  Perhaps  it  is  a  warning  to  me 
of  some  dreadful  calamity.  I  have  heard  of 
such  things — of  opening  of  doors,  and  so  on, 
but  never  believed  them  as  I  ought,  perhaps. 
What  can  this  mean  .^'"'  And  the  poor  girl 
spent  the  remainder  of  the  morning  in  her  own 
room,  trembling  and  unhappy. 

AVhen  Bernard  entered  the  drawing-room  be- 
fore dinner,  he  found  no  one  but  Alicia,  who 
requested  him  not  to  notice  anything  particular 
that   he  might  observe  in  her  friend's  manner 


206  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

or  conduct,  and  added,  "  She  has  been  a  little 
nervous  and  fanciful  this  morning.  I  attribute 
it  to  having  allowed  her  mind  to  dwell  too 
long  on  that  frightful  butchery's  ridiculous  bell- 
pulling  trick.  I  declare  I  quite  hate  to  think 
of  the  fellow.     Hist  ! — Here  she  comes." 

Emily  entered  and  crouched  down  by  the 
fire,  held  out  her  hands,  and  shivering,  ex- 
claimed, "  It 's  very  cold  I'' 

The  real  state  of  the  weather  at  that  time, 
rendered  it  but  too  probable  that  her  words 
and  posture  were  intended  merely  for  the  pur- 
pose of  concealing  her  feelings. 

"  Here 's  papa  !"  exclaimed  Alicia,  going  to 
the  window:  "He  is  always  so  exact.  Just 
the  same  as  when  we  were  in  town,  or  at 
Clapham.  I  often  used  to  wonder  how  he 
could  manage  it,  when  he  had  so  much  to  do — 
but  he  says  it's  the  easiest  thing  in  the  world, 
when  a  system  is  once  established.  See — he 
is  looking  at  his  watch,  and  comparing  it  with 
the  turret  clock.  He  has  just  time  to  step  up- 
stairs before  dinner— so  he  won't  come  here 
till  the  moment  the  hour  strikes." 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  207 

The  members  of  Mr.  Storer's  family  ob- 
served, during  dinner,  that  he  was  occasionally 
absent ;  but  they  avoided  making  any  allusion 
to  the  circumstance,  under  the  idea  that  his 
mind  was  occupied  with  the  contents  of  some 
mercantile  letters,  which  had  arrived  in  the 
mornirig.  Bernard  was  the  only  one  of  the 
party  who  affected  to  be  in  good  spirits.  He 
had  inquired  after  old  Martha,  and  Mr.  Storer 
replied,  "  She  is  out  of  all  danger,  now,"  and 
then  relapsed  into  a  silence,  which  he  seemed 
inclined  to  break  as  little  as  possible. 

'*  All 's  right  then,""  thought  our  hero;  "no- 
thing now  remains  but  to  laugh  poor  Emily 
out  of  what  she  saw ;  and  that  will  be  soon 
done,  for,  though  she  is  very  amiable  and  all 
that,  she  is  but  a  silly  girl  after  all." 

After  dinner,  when  the  ladies  had  withdrawn, 
Mr.  Storer  said,  "  Humph  !  Alone  now.  Sup- 
pose you  saw  I  was  a  little  out  of  sorts — bad 
news  —  told  you  the  old  woman  was  out  of 
danger  —  true  enough  that — not  pleased  with 
myself  though,  for  speaking  so  —  bad  —  too 
much  like  a  lie.     Fact  is,  she's  dead." 


^08  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  Dead  !"  exclaimed  Bernard  Audrey, "  Dead ! 
Good  heavens  !     Then  I *" 

Mr.  Storer  gazed  upon  the  young  man's  pale 
and  horror-stricken  countenance  with  astonish- 
ment. 

"  Why,  Bernard,"  he  cried,  "  what's  the 
matter  with  you,  man  ?  Would  think  the  old 
woman  was  your  mother.  Never  saw  her,  did 
J 

"  No  —  never,  never,"  murmured  our  hero, 
"  but  I  have  been  led  into  this  by  an  artful, 
designing .     How  could   I  have  suspected 


"  Ay,  ay  !"  observed  Mr.  Storer,  "  How, 
indeed  "^  Rascal  looks  as  innocent  as  one  of  the 
sheep  he  kills.  Diddled  you  out  of  your  money, 
though.  Know  a  proverb  would  come  in  pat 
— shan't  quote  it  now.  Look  sharper  another 
time.  Not  used  to  deal  with  rogues  as  I  am. 
Offered  him  five  pounds,  myself — wouldn't  bite 
—  stood  out  —  told  lies,  thick  as  hops — mur- 
dered the  woman,  sir.  Knew  she  was  dying  — 
stood  out  —  cool,  deliberate  murder.  Make 
nothing  else  of  it,  talk  for  a  month." 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  209 

As  soon  as  he  had  recovered  himself  suffi- 
ciently from  the  first  shock,  Bernard,  catching, 
as  drowning  men  will,  at  straws,  inquired  if 
Mr.  Storer  was  certain  of  the  poor  woman's 
death ;  "  for  you  know,  sir,"  he  continued, 
"  the  doctor  said  that  the  news  we  sent  her 
last  evening,  had  a  favourable  effect  ?" 

"  Ay,  ay,"  was  the  reply,  "  too  favourable 
a  pretty  deal.  Gave  her  a  turn — all  joy — too 
much  of  it — didn't  last  long — got  light-headed 
— thought  she  saw  ghosts,  and  all  that.  Re- 
lapse worse  than  all.  Gone  now,  sure  enough. 
Annuity  gone  with  her — five  children — go  to 
the  parish.  Curse  the  butcher  ! — God  forgive 
me!  Can't  help  it.  Rascal  —  no  more  meat 
at  his  shop,  mind.  Won't  catch  me  at  table 
if  you  do — promise  you  that.  Pack  him  off! 
Good  thing  he  didn't  get  a  lease  first,  eh  ? 
Precious  scoundrel  !  I  called  on  him — gave 
it  him  properly,  I  promise  you.  Didn't  know 
what  to  say  for  himself  at  first  —  soon  came 
round  though  —  bold  as  brass  —  talked  of  his 
conscience  —  precious  conscience,  eh  ?  Said 
he  couldn't  blame  himself — knew  you  wouldn't 


210  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

neither.  Thinks  you  're  an  idiot  then  —  let 
him  know  better.  Hardened  rascal  —  cheat  a 
lawyer  !  —  carries  it  off  well  —  come  to  the  gal- 
lows some  day,  though." 

Bernard  got  away  from  table  as  soon  as 
possible ;  and  when  he  found  himself  alone, 
the  sudden  change  which  his  prospects  had 
undergone,  was  almost  more  than  he  could 
endure.  It  was  of  little  avail  that  he  argued 
the  purity  of  his  motives  in  the  transaction  of 
the  preceding  day,  or  recurred  to  the  childish 
innocence  of  his  previous  frolic. 

The  existing  state  of  things  pressed  upon 
him  with  intolerable  weight.  By  whatever 
foolish  whims  or  philanthropic  intentions  he 
might  have  been  guided  in  either  case,  the 
facts  were,  that  he  had  caused  the  death  of  a 
poor  woman,  had  reduced  five  helpless  inno- 
cents to  a  state  of  absolute  poverty,  and  de- 
prived an  honest  tradesman  of  that  character, 
on  which  he  chiefly  depended  for  the  support 
of  himself  and  family.  Once  or  twice  he  re- 
gretted that  he  had  not  made  known  the  pos- 
session of  his  invisible  gift,  in  the  first  instance, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  211 

either  to  Mr.  Storer  or  Alicia ;  but  such  a  step 
now  was  quite  out  of  the  question,  as  it  could 
not  bring  the  poor  woman  to  life,  while  it 
would  be  tantamount  with  a  confession  that 
he  was  her  murderer.  All  that  he  could  do 
now,  was  to  skreen  poor  George  Burrows  as 
much  as  possible  from  the  consequences  of 
having  complied  with  his  request ;  and  like- 
wise to  take  the  five  helpless  orphans  under 
his  own  charge.  These  duties  he  resolved  to 
perform,  and  received  some  solace  from  the 
resolution. 

It  may  easily  be  imagined,  that  that  was  a 
dull  gloomy  evening  with  the  little  family  at 
Maxdean.  Mr.  Storer  had  told  the  bad  news 
to  the  ladies  at  the  time  our  hero  was  occupied 
with  his  own  solitary  reflections  ;  and  when  the 
latter  joined  the  tea-table,  a  mournful  silence 
prevailed  for  some  time,  and  was  first  broken 
by  the  worthy  merchant. 

"  Well,  well,"  said  he,  "  the  poor  woman's 
gone  —  better  off,  no  doubt.  Couldn't  have 
lived  long  anyhow.  No  use  fretting,  Bernard, 
— did   all  you  could  —  more  than  you  ought, 


212  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

perhaps  —  never  mind  —  well  meant  —  heart's 
all.  Bit  more  sugar,  Ally.  Must  get  rid  of 
the  butcher,  though.*" 

''  Surely,*"  observed  Mrs.  Storer,  who  was 
seldom  in  the  habit  of  giving  her  opinion  at 
all,  and  when  she  did,  usually  in  the  kindest 
and  most  charitable  manner,  finding  excuses 
or  palliations  for  conduct  which  others  strongly 
reprobated  — "  Surely,""  she  observed,  "  that 
man  never  can  know  peace  of  mind  again ! 
He  may  call  it  a  frolic,  or  what  he  will ;  but 
when  he  knew  the  poor  creature  was  dying,  to 
keep  back  the  truth  till  he  got  his  price,  was 
quite  horrid." 

"  If  it  had  been  merely  told  me,""  said  Alicia, 
"  if  I  had  not  known  it — if  we  had  not  all 
known  it,  I  could  not  have  believed  that  any 
human  being  had  so  black  a  heart.  How  he 
could  hesitate  a  single  moment  is  wonderful  — 
is  it  not,  Bernard  ?'* 

«'  Oh — yes — certainly,"  stammered  her  lover ; 
"  it  is  all  perplexing ;  but  the  human  mind  is 
often  acted  upon  in  a  way  difficult  to  be  ex- 
plained.    It  is  not  always  safe  to  judge  by  ap- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  2\S 

pearances.  There  may,  perhaps — be  found — '^ 
here  he  hesitated.  The  fact  was,  that  he  felt 
himself  obliged  to  say  something,  and  wishing, 
if  possible,  to  check  the  torrent  against  his  in- 
nocent victim,  whose  innocence  he  dared  not 
openly  declare,  he  had  bewildered  himself,  and 
did  not  well  know  what  he  was  talking  about. 

"  Not  judge  by  appearances  !""  exclaimed  Mr. 
Storer;  "  judge  by  actions  though.  Fellow's  a 
liar — barefaced,  hardened  liar — all  know  that. 
Liar  '11  do  anything.  Once  begin  lying — all  up. 
Wrong  at  bottom — principle  gone  then.  Right 
to  suspect  anything.  Cheat — steal — murder — 
nothing  stop  'em  but  the  gallows.  Catch  him 
some  day — take  my  word.  No  matter  how 
soon.  Must  give  him  warning  to-morrow 
morning,  though.  Make  an  example  —  that's 
the  only  way." 

"  I  declare  I  '11  never  taste  any  thing  that 
comes  out  of  his  shop  !"  exclaimed  Alicia. 

"  Nor  I,"  said  her  father.  "  I  'd  rather  make 
my  dinner  on  bread  and  cheese." 

"  And  so  had  I,"  added  Mrs.  Storer. 

"  Humph!"  thought  our  hero.     "  Here's  a 


214  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Stumbling-block  in  the  outset.  How  am  I  to 
make  the  poor  fellow  amends  then  ?  I  am  de- 
termined to  manage  that  somehow,  at  all  events." 
He  then  pondered  on  various  schemes  for  effect- 
ing his  benevolent  purpose ;  but  the  only  deci- 
sion at  which  he  could  arrive  was,  that  he  would 
ride  over  on  the  morrow,  and  see  what  could  be 
done. 

The  arrival  of  the  post,  however,  the  next 
morning,  made  a  temporary  change  in  the  state 
of  things.  There  was  a  letter  from  Sir  Wilham 
Audrey,  requesting  Mr.  Storer  to  meet  him  in 
London,  for  the  purpose  of  arranging  the  pecu- 
niary concerns  of  the  young  people  previous  to 
the  marriage.  Some  instructions  to  Bernard 
relative  to  the  estate,  rendered  his  presence 
necessary  in  the  country  for  a  few  days  longer. 
But  as  Mrs.  Storer  and  her  daughter  had  a 
variety  of  purchases  to  make,  which  could  not 
be  made  so  well  elsewhere,  she  resolved  upon 
their  accompanying  her  husband  to  town.  And 
thus  the  little  family  circle  at  Maxdean  Hall  was 
broken  up,  as  they  said,  for  about  a  week  or 
ten  days,  bX,  farthest. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  215 


CHAPTER  X. 

The  Storer  family-travelling-carriage  was,  in 
due  time,  regularly  equipped,  and  stored  with 
its  various  seat-boxes,  drop-boxes,  sliding  trunks, 
imperials,  and  hat  and  bonnet-cases,  he.  &c.  and 
then  made  its  formidable  appearance,  slowly 
grinding  the  travelling  sweep  before  Maxdean 
Hall. 

Bernard  took  an  affectionate  leave  of  Alicia, 
handed  her  into  the  carriage,  squeezed  her  hand, 
and  so  forth  ;  and  enacted  the  amiable  towards 
his  intended  parents  in  law,  and  poor  Emily, 
who  was  far  from  being  sorry  to  quit  a  place 
where  she  had  been  so  strangely  terrified. 

"  Run  up  if  you  can,''  said  Mr.  Storer. 
"  Dine  at  five — same  as  here — no  difference. 
Only  generally  have  a  friend  or  so  in  Russell 


216  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Square — all  in  the  family  way — plain  sort  of 
folks — no  ceremony — find  you  a  bed,  dare  say. 
If  not,  single  man  always  manage  that  in  town, 
eh  ?" 

The  carriage  drove  off  as  he  was  speaking, 
and  had  already  advanced  about  twenty  yards, 
when  he  suddenly  thrust  his  head  out  of  the 
window,  and  exclaimed,  "  I  say  —  mind  don't 
forget  to  oust  the  butcher,"  and  then,  as  the 
distance  increased,  he  seemed  to  be  repeating 
some  of  his  anathemas  of  the  preceding  evening. 
Whatever  our  hero  might  have  felt  as  a  lover, 
when  parting  from  Alicia,  he  soon  became  en- 
tirely engrossed  by  the  cares  and  duties  which 
had  so  strangely  devolved  upon  him,  in  conse- 
quence  of  the   foolish    use    to    which    he   had 
applied  his  invisible  powers.     "  If  I  can  but 
get  out  of  this  scrape  tolerably ,"*"  said  he,  "  I 
will  take  especial  care  never  to  exercise  them 
again,  except  in  cases  of  importance.     In  the 
mean  while  I  must  be  content  to  sacrifice  money, 
which,   as   matters  are,   and   with    my  present 
prospects,  is,  after  all,  of  no  great  importance 
to  me.'' 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  217 

On  his  arrival  at  Audrey  Hall,  he  took  pos- 
session of  the  solitary  room,  left  untouched  by 
the  workmen  for  his  accommodation  ;  and  then 
despatched  a  messenger  to  require  the  attend- 
ance of  Georjje  Burrows. 

When  the  poor  fellow  came,  Bernard  was 
struck  by  his  gloomy,  discontented,  and  down- 
cast look.  "Sit  down,  George,'"*  said  he.  "  You 
don'*t  seem  in  spirits  to-day." 

''  No,  I  a'n't,"  replied  the  butcher,  twisting 
his  hat  in  all  directions  as  he  held  it  between 
his  knees.  "  I  haven't  been  my  own  man  since 
that  business.  I  suppose  your  honour*s  heard 
as  how  it  was  all  of  no  use,  and  poor  Martha's 
dead  ?  And  now  all  the  neighbours  say  as  her 
death  lays  at  my  door,  and  I  'm  sure  I  don't 
know  what  the  consequence  '11  be.  I  hope  your 
honour  '11  give  me  back  the  paper  now,  and  I  '11 
bind  myself  down  as  tight  as  you  like,  to  give 
back  all  the  rest  of  the  money — there's  sixty 
pounds !"  (Here  he  took  the  sum  mentioned 
from  a  canvass-bag,  and  laid  it  on  the  table.) 
There's  six  of  the  notes,  just  as  you  gave 
'em  to  me.  I  wish  I  hadn't  been  obliged  to 
VOL.  I.  L 


218  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

use  the  other  four;  but  —  I  couldri't  help  it, 
and  that's  the  truth." 

"  But,  my  good  fellow,"  said  Bernard,  affect- 
ing much  seriousness  and  importance,  "  you 
don't  mean  to  say  that  you  really  had  nothing 
to  do  with  the  hoax  ?" 

"  Yes,  but  I  do,"  replied  Burrows.  "  The 
money  you  ojBPered  me,  and  the  chance  of  saving 
poor  Martha,  and  another  reason  besides,  tempt- 
ed me  to  put  my  name  to  a  lie,  for  the  first 
time  in  my  life ;  and  I  '11  take  pretty  good  care  it 
shall  be  the  last,  for  I've  had  no  peace  ever  since/' 

"  Then  pray  who  can  have  played  the  trick  .p" 
asked  our  hero.  "  Have  you  no  suspicion  of 
any  one  ?" 

"  Why,  look  ye,  your  honour,"  said  George, 
"  I  won't  conceal  no  part  of  my  mind  from  you; 
and  that 's  what  hangs  most  upon  me,  and 
makes  me  feel  as  if  I  was  under  a  judgment, 
seeing  as  I  've  been  wicked  enough  to  say  as  I 
did  that  what  no  mortal  man  could  have  done 
anyhow,  but  nothing  else  than  a  downright 
supernatural  substance,  which  I  don't  believe 
was   neither  more  nor  less   than   the   spirit  of 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  219 

poor  Laurence  Hlggs,  come  out  of  his  grave  for 
some  mysterus  purpose.  If  there  'd  been  ever 
a  mortal  soul  about,  he  couldn't  have  escaped 
us,  for  I  was  close  to  your  gamekeeper  when 
he  let  fly  both  barrels  at  once,  and  the  ghost, 
or  whatever  it  was,  let  go  the  bell-rope.  Well, 
it 's  no  use  going  over  the  same  story  over  and 
over  again.  All  I  've  got  to  say  now  is,  that  I 
hope  your  honour  '11  give  me  back  the  paper, 
and  stand  by  me  when  I  tell  the  truth,  or  else 
I  'm  a  ruined  man,  and  very  soon  sha'n't  have 
a  friend  in  the  world.  The  parson  's  been  at 
me  this  morning,  and  yesterday  Squire  Storer 
blackguarded  me  like  a  pickpocket,  and  I 
couldn't  say  a  word  for  myself,  because  1  knew 
there  was  my  own  hand-writing  against  me/' 

"  Then  you  mean  to  say  that  the  money 
which  I  offered  you  was  too  great  a  tempta- 
tion .?"  inquired  our  hero. 

"  I  think  I  said  so  at  the  time,"  replied 
George ;  *'  at  least  I  knew  I  meant  it ;  and 
you  wouldn't  wonder  at  it  if  you  knew  what  I 
wanted  it  for."" 

**  I  suppose  then  that  is  a  secret,""  observed 
l2 


220  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Bernard,  wishing  to  find  some  pretext  for  keep- 
ing the  poor  fellow  to  his  bargain. 

"  No,  your  honour,  not  to  3/0M,''  replied  the 
butcher ;  "  i/ou  promised  to  befriend  me,  and 
it 's  nothing  I  need  be  ashamed  of,  only,  for 
the  sake  of  my  poor  father,  I  shouldn't  like  as 
ever  J/  body  should  know  it."  He  then  related 
the  particulars  of  the  interview,  which  have 
been  given  in  a  preceding  page,  between  himself 
and  his  aged  parent. 

"  There  *s  your  paper,  George  I'**  exclaimed 
our  hero,  giving  way  to  his  better  feelings  and 
tossing  it  across  the  table.  The  poor  fellow 
seized  it  as  a  kite  seizes  his  prey,  glanced  at  his 
own  name,  saw  all  was  right,  and  then  tore  it 
into  a  hundred  pieces. 

"  Well,  George,"  said  our  hero,  '*  your  mind 
will  be  easy  now,  I  hope.  But  as  for  the  mo- 
ney, I  shall  7iot  take  that  back.  You  have 
performed  that  for  which  I  agreed  to  give  it, 
and  a  bargain  's  a  bargain,  you  know,  whether 
it  turns  out  well  or  ill." 

For  some  time  Burrows  demurred,  but  at 
length  acknowledged  that  the  bills  certainly 
would  be  of  great  use  to  him,  and  then  agreed 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  221 

to  keep  them,  with  the  understanding  that  the 
whole  should  be  considered  as  a  debt,  to  be 
claimed  whenever  the  squire  might  think  fit. 

"  So  far,  so  good,"  said  Bernard  Audrey  as 
soon  as  he  was  alone.  "  I  've  got  that  poor 
fellow  out  of  his  difficulties.  He  has  no  reason 
now  to  regret  the  temptation  I  led  him  into. 
And  his  poor  old  father  too  has  been  saved 
from  ruin  by  my  means.  Really  this  foolish 
business  will  end  well  after  all,  and  puts  me  in 
the  way  of  doing  a  great  deal  of  good.  My 
motive  for  bribing  the  butcher  will  perfectly 
exonerate  me,  and  now,  when  it  is  known  that 
he  had  nothing  to  do  with  the  affair,  his  charac- 
ter will  stand  as  fair  as  ever,  and  he  has  got 
money  in  his  pocket  to  go  to  market  with.  I 
will  now  go  and  consult  the  rector  about  what  I 
had  better  do  with  the  five  poor  children." 

The  reverend  gentleman  welcomed  his  unex- 
pected visiter  with  the  utmost  respect  and  cor- 
diality, and  insisted  upon  his  taking  up  his 
abode,  for  the  short  time  he  talked  of  remaining 
in  the  country,  in  the  quietude  of  the  rectory, 
instead  of  living  amid  the  confusion  of  work- 
men at  the  hall. 


222  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

When  these  important  preliminaries  were 
arranged,  Bernard  related  the  occurrences  of 
the  morning,  and  Mr.  Kenemall,  whose  eye  was 
keenly  habituated  to  discern  the  good  qualities 
of  the  "  nobihty  and  gentry,"  paid  many  com- 
pliments to  his  guest  on  the  score  of  humanity, 
generosity,  &c. 

"  But,  my  dear  Sir,"  he  continued,  "  surely 
you  paid  rather  too  high  a  price  for  so  trifling 
a  service  ?" 

"  Oh,  not  at  all !"  replied  our  hero.  "  You 
will  observe  that  the  necessity  for  bidding  so 
high  ere  the  butcher  could  be  stirred  from  his 
blunt  integrity  tells  greatly  in  his  favour." 

*'  Most  assuredly,  Sir,"  observed  the  rector ; 
"  that  did  not  strike  me  before.  I  now  see  the 
matter  precisely  in  the  same  light." 

"  I  really  have  a  very  high  opinion  of  the 
poor  fellow,"  said  Bernard,  speaking  with  the 
warmth  which  men  are  wont  to  feel  when  they 
have  first  resolved  to  take  a.^y  one  under  their 
protection. 

"  And  so  have  I  always  had,"  added  Mr. 
Kenemall,  "  though  I  confess  that  his  apparent 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  223 

cruelty  toward  the  poor  woman  in  this  affair 
did  produce  a  temporary  unfavourable  impres- 
sion on  my  mind  ;  but  now  all  is  cleared  up, 
and  I  shall  make  it  a  point  to  take  the  first 
opportunity  of  letting  him  know  that  I  am  glad 
to  find  myself  undeceived/* 

It  would  be  both  tedious  and  unnecessary  to 
repeat  all  that  passed  between  the  young  squire 
and  the  rector,  and  the  rector'*s  wife,  who  was 
admitted  to  the  consultation  respecting  the  five 
poor  children.  The  result  of  all  was  an  unani- 
mous decision  that  they  could  not  be  better 
placed  than  under  the  care  of  George  Burrows, 
or,  more  correctly  speaking,  under  that  of  his 
wife.  For  Sally  was  generally  considered  to  be 
an  active,  tidy,  pains- taking  young  woman,  who 
would  be  sure  to  bring  them  up  in  habits  of  in- 
dustry. When,  however,  the  proposition  was 
made  in  due  form,  neither  she  nor  her  husband 
seemed  to  like  the  idea  of  so  great  and  sudden 
an  increase  in  their  family  ;  but  the  terms  offer- 
ed by  the  young  squire,  were  such  as  at  length 
to  overcome  every  objection  ;  so,  before  he  left 
the  country,  he  had  the  satisfaction  of  seeing 


224}  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

the  orphans  removed  to  a  comfortable  home, 
where  they  might  be  said  to  be  better  off  than 
if  their  grandmother  had  survived,  since,  at  her 
age,  it  was  unlikely  that  she  could  have  conti- 
nued with  them  many  years,  even  under  the 
most  favourable  circumstances.  It  therefore  ap- 
peared very  fortunate  for  them  that  her  death 
had  been  hastened  by  a  catastrophe  which  at- 
tracted the  attention,  and  consequently  awaken- 
ed the  sympathy  of  more  powerful  friends  than 
they  could  expect  ever  to  have  found  if  events 
had  taken  their  usual  course. 

These  considerations,  and  the  reflection  upon 
what  he  had  been  able  to  do  for  honest  Burrows, 
occupied  our  hero's  mind  during  his  journey  to 
London,  where  he  found  Sir  William  anxiously 
expecting  him.  The  old  knight  was  snugly 
boxed  in  his  favourite  room  at  the  Imperial 
Hotel,  in  Covent  Garden,  a  situation  which  he 
preferred  to  the  more  showy  establishments  far- 
ther west,  because,  as  he  said,  it  was  "  in  the 
centre  of  every  thing.""  The  coal  fire  was  blaz- 
ing away  with  the  warmth  and  cheerfulness  of 
Christmas,  and  a  lawyer  had  just  retired  as  our 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  225 

hero  made  his  appearance,   and   was  cordially 
welcomed  by  his  uncle. 

"  All  goes  on  well,  Bernard,''*'  he  said  ;  "  you 
certainly  are  the  most  fortunate  fellow  I  ever 
knew.  Old  Storer  —  no,  ahem  !  I  shouldn''t 
call  him  old  neither,  when  I  recollect  my  own 
age.  No  matter,  however,  for  that  —  he  has 
come  forward  in  the  most  handsome  manner. 
How  much  now,  should  you  imagine,  he  is  will- 
ing and  ready  to  give  his  daughter  on  the  mar- 
riage day  ?     Perhaps  you  know  though  ?" 

"  No,  really  Sir,"  replied  Bernard,  "  I  have 
not  the  most  distant  idea.  You  know  that  my 
attachment  to  Alicia  was  utterly  independent  of 
all  such  calculations.'"' 

"  Certainly,"  observed  Sir  William ;  "  dis- 
interested and  romantic  enough,  in  all  consci- 
ence, for  any  hero  of  romance.  But  you  must 
be  aware  that  there  are  sojne  trifling  advantages 
and  comforts  to  be  derived  from  the  possession 
of  a  given  number  of  thousands.  You  would 
not,  at  all  events,  quarrel  with  your  mistress's 
picture  because  it  was  set  in  gold  ?  So — what 
say  you  to  twenty  thousand  pounds  ?" 

l5 


226  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Bernard  expressed  his  approbation  and  con- 
tent in  a  manner  by  no  means  satisfactory  to 
Sir  William,  who  would  have  been  better 
pleased  to  find  his  nephew  somewhat  more 
given  to  calculation. 

"  Pish  !"  said  the  knight,  "  contented  !  I 
could  find  it  in  my  heart  to  be  angry  with  you, 
Bernard.  Consider,  sir,  your  father-in-law  that 
is  to  be,  has  been  at  the  head  of  a  great  East 
India  firm  for  these  thirty  years.  What  is 
twenty  thousand  pounds  for  such  a  man  to 
give  with  his  only  child  ?^ 

"  I  am  quite  unacquainted  with  the  nature 
of  such  concerns  as  you  allude  to,"  replied  the 
nephew,  with  some  slight  apprehension  that  his 
uncle  had  been  driving  a  hard  bargain  with  Mr. 
Storer,  and  that  he  himself  might  be  suspected 
of  mercenary  thoughts. 

"  No  doubt,  no  doubt,^'  observed  Sir  Wil- 
liam ;  "  but  you'll  know  more  about  them  by 
and  by.  Well  —  I  will  not  keep  you  longer  in 
suspense.  Storer  is  to  give  you  a  check  on  the 
wedding-day  for  twenty  thousand,  and  thirty 
more  are  to  be  settled  by  him  on  Alicia,  for  the 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.         227 

eventual  benefit  of  your  children.  That  will 
make  fifty  thousand  —  and  allow  me  to  tell  you 
that  at  his  death,  you  may  calculate  upon  double 
that  sum,  in  addition,  at  least.  Then — there  is 
your  own  fortune  —  and  you  will  have  the  Au- 
drey estate  —  and  I  shall  contrive  to  get  a  trifle 
together  against  the  wedding  —  and  so,  altoge- 
ther, I  think  you''ll  be  able  to  keep  up  the  dig- 
nity of  a  baronet  tolerably  well,  to  say  nothing 
of  the  sticks  and  odd  papers  that  I  must  leave 
behind  me  some  day.'^ 

It  is  not  to  be  supposed  that  our  hero  was 
insensible  to  the  various  advantages  with  which 
he  was  about  to  enter  into  life,  with  the  chosen 
object  of  his  affections.  After  expressing  his 
gratitude  to  his  uncle,  and  promising  to  break- 
fast with  him  next  morning,  he  repaired  to 
Russell  Square  in  high  spirits.  As  he  had 
written  a  few  hasty  lines  to  her  on  the  preced- 
ing evening,  he  was  not  surprised,  though 
highly  gratified,  at  finding  Alicia  alone.  The 
rest  of  the  family  were  gone  to  Covent  Garden 
Theatre,  to  see  Liston  in  one  of  his  favourite 
characters.     Genuine  English  comedy  was  the 


228  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

only  public  amusement  that  had  power  to  at- 
tract the  unsophisticated  merchant  from  his 
own  fireside.  The  more  elaborate  and  highly 
paid  performances  at  the  Italian  opera,  he  most 
inelegantly  and  characteristically  called  "  hum- 
bug," and  declared  that  they  were  only  patron- 
ized by  people  who  did  not  know  what  they 
wanted. 

On  the  present  occasion  he  had  neither  ex- 
pressed surprise  nor  uneasiness  at  his  daughter''s 
unusual  wish  to  be  left  alone,  even  though  she 
pleaded  indisposition,  for  his  quick  eye  had 
caught  a  glimpse  of  Bernard''s  handwriting.  A 
similar  cause  prevented  Emily  from  insisting 
upon  staying  to  keep  her  friend  company  :  and 
so  the  lovers  had  the  whole  house  to  themselves 
without  the  least  fear  of  interruption.  This 
was  most  delightful,  as  they  had  much  to  say 
of  many  things  ;  and  fortunately  there  arose  no 
diiference  of  opinion  upon  any. 

The  drawing-room  in  which  this  never-to-be- 
forgotten  evening  was  passed,  contained  a  more 
than  usual  portion  of  those  incumbrances  which 
fashion  orders  to  be  admitted  under  the  name 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  229 

of  furniture.  There  were  Chinese  china  man- 
darins, that,  like  courtly  sycophants  on  our  side 
of  the  globe,  always  began  bowing  and  smirking 
whenever  they  were  rudely  struck  or  kicked.  A 
six-feet  pagoda  occupied  one  corner,  and  the 
model  of  an  eastern  dwelling,  with  its  bamboo, 
net-like  outworks,  filled  a  corresponding  recess. 
On  the  two  mantelpieces,  pier-slabs,  tables,  and 
"  what  nots,'*"'  were  scattered  and  grouped — little 
fat,  squat,  ugly,  face-making,  rice  Josses,  Bonzes, 
and  nondescript  monsters — and  beneath  and  in 
the  windows  stood  huge  porcelain  jars.  Then 
there  were  cabinets  inlaid  with  gold  and  pearl, 
and  furnished  with  labyrinths  of  recesses  and 
secret  drawers,  in  which  little  else  was  to  be 
seen  save  the  ingenuity  of  the  workman.  The 
remainder,  or  more  useful  part  of  the  furniture 
of  the  room,  need  not  be  described  farther  than 
by  stating,  that  it  was  such  as  may  be  seen 
every  day  in  the  dwellings  of  the  wealthy,  or  of 
those  who  would  fain  make  the  world  believe 
them  to  be  tlie  peculiar  favourites  of  fortune 
and  fashion. 

In  this  museum-like  drawing-room  Bernard 


230  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

and  Alicia  sate,  and  lounged,  and  walked,  and 
talked,  and  laughed,  and  whispered,  and  so 
forth,  till  the  watchman  (for  these  things  hap- 
pened in  the  days  of  the  charlies)  bawled  "  Past 
eleven  oVlock  !" 

Now  when  two  lovers  are  left  together,  to  do 
and  say  just  as  they  please,  without  fear  of 
peepers  or  eaves'-droppers,  it  is  not  to  be  ex- 
pected that  they  shall  sit  upright,  twirling  their 
thumbs,  upon  chairs  placed  at  the  extreme  cor- 
ners of  the  room.  Neither,  if  they  are  at  all 
well-bred,  is  it  to  be  supposed  that  they  can 
find  no  other  amusement  than  smacking  their 
lips,  as  if  they  were  practising  with  coach  whips. 
The  reader  will  please  to  have  the  goodness  to 
imagine  that  Bernard  and  Miss  Storer  had  pur- 
sued a  middle  course,  during  their  happy  tete- 
d-tete,  up  to  the  moment  when  they  sate  in  a 
manner  which  it  is  absolutely  necessary  for  us 
to  describe. 

Without  presuming  for  an  instant  to  defend 
the  lover  against  any  charge  of  boisterous  rude- 
ness which  may  be  brought  forward,  or  attempt- 
ing to  justify  the  young  lady,  for  even  a  mo- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  2S\ 

mentary  submission  to  such  a  Darby  and  Joan 
style  of  courtship,  we  simply  state  the  fact  as 
follows.     When  the  aforesaid  nocturnal  guar- 
dian was  bellowingr  his  unintelliijible  announce- 
ment  of  the  hour,  Alicia  was  absolutely  sitting 
on  the  right  knee  of  our  hero  !     It  may  be  sup- 
posed that  she  had  not  often  occupied  such  a 
position,  as,  in  order  to  save  herself  from  falling, 
her  left  arm  passed  round  his  neck,  and  thus 
afforded  the  same  degree  of  security  as  an  un- 
skilful  rider  finds  in  grasping  the  pommel  of 
the  saddle.     It  is  not  to  be  imagined  that  the 
seat  was  of  her  own  choosing.     Bernard  had 
thrown  himself  upon  the  sofa,  and  pulled  her 
towards  him.     The  fear  which  she  expressed  of 
getting  her  hair  still  more  out  of  order  was, 
perhaps,    the  cause  why  she  did  not  struggle 
violently  :  but  still  there  was  a  show  of  resist- 
ance ;  and  even  after  she  was  seated,  she  made 
one  or  two  ineffectual  attempts  to  rise.     Ber- 
nard threatened  her  playfully  if  she  would  not 
sit   still,  but  whatever  his   threats  were,   they 
seem  not  to  have  been  sufficiently  alarming  to 
produce  the  desired  effect,  for,  instead  of  sub- 


2S2  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

mitting  quietly  to  her  fate,  she  forth vvith  com- 
menced a  series  of  fresh  struggles,  the  termina- 
tion of  which  was  of  a  most  appalling  nature. 
Once  or  twice  she  appeared  nearly  to  have 
accomplished  her  release,  and  then  anon  it  was 
evident  that  he  was  the  stronger.  At  length, 
scarcely  knowing  what  she  did,  and  her  left  arm 
being  in  the  position  before-mentioned,  bi3r  hand 
came  in  contact  with  his  ear.  She  pulled  it, 
and  instantly  her  lover  disappeared  ! 

The  poor  girl  opened  her  eyes  as  wide  as 
possible — still  felt  that  her  seat  was  firm  under 
her,  and  that  her  arm  was  as  before.  A  sickly 
feeling  came  over  her ;  it  seemed  as  though  she 
had  been  struck  with  sudden  blindness.  Then 
she  pressed  her  hands  to  her  eyes  and  forehead, 
as  if  to  ascertain  whether  she  was  not  dreaming 
or  in  a  swoon.  The  dress  of  his  mistress  pre- 
vented Bernard  from  missing  his  legs,  as  in  his 
first  invisible  essay,  and  his  arms  were  (for  the 
truth  must  now  all  be  told)  round  her  waist  ; 
and,  moreover,  he  had  never  before  imagined 
that  any  other  hand  than  his  own  could  possess 
the  power  of  pulling  him  out  of  sight.     For 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  233 

these  reasons  he  was  utterly  unconscious  of  his 
present  condition,  and  alarmed  at  the  extraordi- 
nary change  in  the  young  lady's  countenance, 
he  exclaimed,  in  an  anxiously  tender  manner, 
"  You  are  unwell,  dear  Alicia  ?  Tell  me,  my 
dearest  girl.  Surely  I  have  not  hurt  you  unin- 
tentionally ?  I  shall  never  forgive  myself  if  I 
have." 

She  heard  the  words — looked  wildl}^,  as  it 
seemed  to  him,  in  his  face  ;  then  a  cold  shud- 
dering came  over  her,  and  she  cried  convul- 
sively, "  Oh,  this  is  too — too  horrible  !''  The 
next  moment  she  had  fainted,  and  lay  perfectly 
insensible  on  his  shoulder. 

Such  was  his  extreme  agitation,  that  he  did 
not  perceive  what  had  happened  till  after  he 
had  placed  her  upon  the  sofa.  Then  crossing 
the  room  to  pull  the  bell  for  assistance,  the  real 
state  of  the  case  was  revealed,  and  he  hastily 
made  himself  again  conspicuous,  when  it  was 
too  late. 

By  the  judicious  application  of  the  usual 
remedies  poor  Alicia  recovered,  and  found  her- 
self surrounded  by  the  servants,  her  lover  anxi- 


r 


284  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN, 

ously  watching  over  her,  and  her  own  maid 
bathing  her  temples  assiduously  with  one  hand, 
and  applying  a  smeliing-bottle,  that  seemed 
already  to  have  taken  the  skin  off  her  nose,  with 
the  other. 

"  Where  have  I  been  ?  Oh  —  Bernard  !" 
sobbed  the  patient. 

This  was  quite  enough  to  convince  Martha 
that  there  had  been  a  quarrel  between  the 
lovers :  so  being  a  plain-spoken  woman,  and 
perfectly  satisfied  that  the  men  were  always  in 
the  wrong  on  such  occasions,  she  very  uncere- 
moniously bade  Bernard  get  out  of  the  way, 
for  he  did  more  harm  than  good  by  standing 
there. 

Before  he  had  time  either  to  obey  or  to  miti- 
gate the  wrath  of  the  offended  lady's  maid,  the 
sound  of  wheels,  and  a  thundering  knock  at  the 
door,  announced  the  return  of  the  family,  and 
in  a  few  seconds  the  anxious  father  and  mother 
and  Emily,  were  added  to  the  number  of  the 
invalid's  attendants.  All  that  could  be  ascer- 
tained was,  that  she  had  been  suddenly  and 
strangely  attacked  by  an  unaccountable   fit  of 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  235 

partial  blindness.  This  was  her  own  statement ; 
but  her  maid  contrived  to  catch  the  eye  of  her 
old  master  and  mistress,  and  to  indicate  her 
opinion  by  a  shake  of  the  head  and  a  pointed 
finger  ;  and  that  opinion,  as  given  afterwards  in 
words,  was,  "  that  Mr.  Audrey  had  misbehaved 
himself;^ 

"  Humph  !"  muttered  Mr.  Storer.  "  Lo- 
vers'* quarrel  again  !  Partial  blindness  !  Little 
of  both,  mayhap.  See  to-morrow  —  too  late 
now — wish  they  were  all  in  bed." 

This  latter  wish  seemed  general  throughout 
the  party,  and  most  advisable  for  the  invalid,  of 
whom  Bernard  took  a  very  affectionate  leave, 
hoped  to  see  her  quite  well  in  the  morning, 
shook  hands  in  a  hurried  manner  with  the  rest 
of  the  family,  and  then  retired,  to  take  up  his 
quarters  under  the  same  roof  with  his  uncle. 


2S6  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

When  Alicia  had  retired  to  her  apartment, 
and  found  herself  alone  with  her  friend  Emily, 
she  gave  as  clear  an  account  as  possible  of  what 
had  occurred. 

"  It  serves  me  right,  my  dear,"  she  continu- 
ed, "  for  laughing  at  you  when  you  thought 
the  music-book  was  alive.  What  happened  to 
me  is  far  more  extraordinary,  you  will  allow. 
I  heard  his  voice  as  usual,  close  to  me,  and  felt 
myself  supported  by  him,  and  yet  I  could  not 
see  him  !  But  it  seemed  as  if  I  looked  through 
the  space  where  he  must  have  been  all  the 
while,  and  I  saw  everything  else  very  plain,  and 
there  were  those  Chinese  figures  nodding  at  me, 
and  that  horrid  Indian  god,  with  his  great  eyes 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  237 

goggling  at  me.  If  I  was  at  all  superstitious  I 
should  think  that  he  and  the  other  idols  had 
something  to  do  with  the  matter.  But  I  am 
convinced,  after  all,  that  it  was  nothing  more 
than  an  attack  of  one  of  those  extraordinary 
nervous  disorders  which  are  now  going  about, 
and  as  I  am  not  usually  subject  to  anything  of 
the  kind,  I  do  not  doubt  but  that  I  shall  be 
very  well  to-morrow." 

Emily  affected  to  be  of  the  same  opinion, 
though  she  really  felt  certain  indistinct  appre- 
hensions that  the  same  cause  which  had  given 
apparent  life  to  the  music-book  had  removed 
Bernard  out  of  Alicia's  sight.  What  that 
cause  might  be,  was  quite  beyond  her  power  to 
guess,  but  it  appeared  to  her  as  though,  instead 
of  a  nervous  disorder,  there  was  some  kind  of 
witchcraft  "  g<^>ing  about." 

Martha  now  made  her  appearance  with  that 
sovereign  specific  called  a  basin  of  water-gruel, 
and  a  very  long  face. 

"  This  will  do  you  good.  Miss,'*  said  she, 
speaking  of  the  former  as  she  placed  it  upon  the 


238  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

table,  with  tray,  napkin,  and  spoons,  all  in  due 
bedroom  form. 

"  Thank  you,  Martha,'*  replied  her  young 
mistress,  "  but  I  am  really  quite  well  now.  I 
was  only  frightened,  I  believe — a  little  nervous, 
that 's  all." 

*'  Oh,  yes,  to  be  sure,  Miss,^'  observed  Mar- 
tha ;  ^'  and  no  wonder,  I  dare  say.  Those 
men  have  such  ways  with  'em  !  not  as  I  wish 
to  insinivate  anything  disrespectful  in  particular 
against  Mr.  Audrey — and  when  he  's  my  mas- 
ter and  comes  to  be  married,  I  dare  say  it  '11 
be  all  very  well ;  and  besides,  he 's  got  a 
great  many  good  pints  about  him,  that  I  will 
say  —  but  I  a'n't  forgot  his  tricks,  nor  how 
he  slily  pinched  Miss  Read  black  and  blue,  and 
then  pretended  not  to  know  nothing  about  the 
matter." 

The  rest  of  Martha's  conversation  was  of  no 
sort  of  consequence  to  the  progress  of  our  tale  ; 
but  the  remark  concerning  Miss  Read's  ex- 
traordinary and  yet  unsatisfactorily-explained 
pinches,  recalled  what  that  young  lady  had  said 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  239 

at  the  time  to  Alicia's  mind,  and  kept  her  awake 
for  several  hours. 

As  a  matter  of  course,  Mrs.  Storer  saw  her 
daughter  for  a  few  minutes,  the  last  thing  ere 
she  retired  to  rest,  and  being  satisfied  with  her 
apparent  recovery,  returned  to  her  own  room, 
where  her  husband  yet  lay  awake  to  hear  her 
report. 

"  Well,  my  dear,"  said  he,  "  how  ^s  Ally  ?" 

"  She  seems  very  comfortable  and  well  now," 
replied  the  good  lady.  "  I  expect,  after  all,  it 
was  nothing  more  than  some  foolish  love  quar- 
rel that  she's  already  ashamed  of.  However, 
they  parted  very  good  friends." 

"  Ay,  ay,"  observed  Mr.  Storer ;  "  sitting  on 
his  knee,  it  seems.  Bit  of  a  struggle,  suppose — 
little  too  rough,  eh  ?" 

"  Something  more  than  that  I  should  think," 
replied  Mrs.  Storer  laughing. 

"  Don't  know,"  said  the  merchant,  "  don't 
know.  Remember  how  it  was  when  I  came 
courting  you.  Long  while  afore  could  get 
you  on  my  knee — terribly  afraid.     Bad  as  if 


240  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

you  thought  I  was  '  The  Fire  King,'  and  all 
your  clothes  would  be  burnt  off  your  back,* 
and  Lord  knows  what  mischief  beside.  Got 
you  there  at  last  though — never  repented  it, 
hope,  eh  ?" 

"  Why  not  often,  I  must  confess,  my  dear," 
was  the  good-humoured  reply ;  and  shortly 
after  the  easy-going  couple  were  fast  asleep. 

In  the  mean  while  our  hero  sought  his  lonely 
room  at  Covent  Garden,  and  was  much  per- 
plexed concerning  the  untoward  event  of  the 
evening.  "  What !"  thought  he,  "  is  my  visible 
existence  to  be  dependent  upon  the  caprice  of 
every  one  who  may  fancy  a  pull  at  my  ear  ? 
The  thing  is  monstrous!  I  have,  however,  at 
present  only  to  look  sharp  after  Alicia,  as  no 
one  else  would  think  of  taking  such  a  liberty. 
Poor  girl !  I  am  sorry  for  her  fright ;  but  it  is 

*  The  Fire-King  one  day  rather  amorous  felt, 
So  he  mounted  his  hot  copper  filly  ; 
His  breeches  and  boots  were  of  tin,  and  the  belt 
Was  made  of  cast-iron,  for  fear  it  should  melt 
From  the  heat  of  the  copper  colt's  belly. 

Rejected  Addresses. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  241 

quite  as  well  that  she  fainted.  It  will  be  su 
much  the  more  easy  to  persuade  her  that  it  was 
all  fancy.*" 

In  spite  of  all  his  ingenuity,  however,  he  lay 
long  restless,  sleepless,  and  uneasy ;  and  once  or 
twice,  as  he  rolled  over  from  side  to  side,  and 
felt  his  left  ear  rub  upon  the  pillow,  he  dreaded 
that  the  friction  might  be  sufficient  to  produce 
his  disappearance,  and  stretched  forth  his  arms 
to  ascertain  if  they  were  visible  above  the  bed- 
clothes. Then,  as  we  are  all  wont  when  lying 
awake,  and  under  the  influence  of  any  one  idea, 
he  thought  of  the  various  situations  in  which 
he  might,  and  probably  should,  be  placed, 
wherein,  without  any  act  or  volition  of  his  own, 
he  must  suddenly  become  invisible.  He  pictur- 
ed to  himself  that  when  travelling  in  a  carriage, 
if  perchance  he  leaned  his  head  for  a  moment 
against  the  side,  he  would  cease  to  be  apparent 
from  the  instantaneous  jolting  of  the  vehicle, 
when  crossing  a  rut,  or  going  over  a  loose  stone. 
If  he  ventured  to  lie  down  on  board  a  ship,  the 
pitching  of  the  vessel  would  jerk  him  out  of 
sight  immediately.     And    so   he    continued    to 

VOL.    I.  M 


24^2  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

torment  himself  with  anticipations,  till,  between 
sleeping  and  waking,  he  resolved  always  to  lie 
upon  his  right  side  ;  and  shortly  afterwards  be- 
gan to  dream  of  going  through  the  world,  hold- 
ing fast  by  his  right  ear,  as  the  only  means  of 
preserving  his  station  amid  his  fellow  creatures. 
Then  came  a  vision,  in  which  he  manfully  re- 
solved to  have  the  dangerous  and  offending 
member  cut  away  by  a  skilful  surgeon.  All 
seemed  prepared  for  the  operation  ;  his  courage 
was  at  a  pitch  far  higher  than  requisite  for  the 
endurance  of  the  necessary  pain,  when,  lo  !  the 
chirurgical  professor  had  no  sooner  taken  the 
part  in  his  hand,  than  the  patient  entirely  dis- 
appeared ;  all  around  stood  aghast,  and  there 
was  an  end  of  the  business.  There  appeared  to 
be  no  way  of  getting  rid  of  the  ear  by  the 
agency  of  others,  and  the  perfect  uselessness  of 
a  looking-glass,  under  existing  circumstances, 
prevented  him  from  eradicating  the  evil  with  his 
own  hands. 

Having  every  reason  to  imagine  that  the 
generality  of  our  readers  will  consist  of  persons 
of  an  unusually  serious  turn  of  mind,  we  have 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  243 

some  fears  lest  these  midnislit  terrors  of  our 
hero  may  seem  improbable  and  ludicrous  in  the 
eyes  of  certain  of  the  ultra  sedate.  Should  such 
be  the  case,  we  boldly  appeal  to  their  serene 
self-recollections,  and  ask  if  they  have  not  been 
themselves  visited  by  dreams,  equally,  if  not  far 
more  ridiculous,  and  all  without  any  visible  or 
invisible  cause  for  the  mental  uproar,  similar  to 
that  by  which  poor  Bernard  Audrey  was  af- 
flicted ? 

When  the  uncle  and  nephew  met  at  break- 
fast, the  latter  mentioned  that  Miss  Storer  had 
had  a  fainting  fit  the  preceding  evening,  and 
that  he  had  despatched  a  servant  at  an  early 
hour  with  a  note  to  inquire  how  she  had  passed 
the  night,  and  how  she  found  herself  in  the 
morning. 

"  Nothing  of  any  consequence,  I  hope?"  in- 
quired Sir  William. 

"  No,  I  trust  not,"*^  replied  Bernard.  *  In- 
deed she  had  recovered  before  I  came  away."*' 

"  Your  looks  do  not  agree  with  your  words, 
young  gentleman,"*"*  observed  the  knight ;  "I 
should  feel  much  concerned  if  she  were  really 

M  2 


244  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

ill,  for,  without  any  intention  of  flattering  you 
on  the  subject  of  your  choice,  I  assure  you  she 
is  a  great  favourite  of  mine.  Indeed  I  am 
greatly  pleased  with  the  father  and  mother  like- 
wise. To  be  sure  they  are  neither  elegant  nor 
fashionable  people :  but  then,  they  do  not  pre- 
tend to  be  so ;  and  as  times  go,  it  is  perfectly 
delightful  and  refreshing  to  find  persons  who  are 
really  what  they  seem.  When  you  have  seen  as 
much  of  mankind  as  I  have,  you  will  unfortu- 
nately know  how  scarce  such  characters  are." 

The  nephew  agreed  precisely  with  these  ob- 
servations —  a  few  more  words  on  the  same 
subject  were  added  on  both  sides — and  then  a 
servant  entered  with  a  note  from  Alicia,  which 
stated  that  she  was  perfectly  well,  and  intended 
to  go  about  five  miles  out  of  town  with  Emily, 
to  visit  one  of  their  old  schoolfellows,  with 
whom,  most  likely,  they  should  dine,  and  not 
return  till  late  in  the  evening. 

Bernard  could  not  help  thinking  that  there 
was  a  certain  air  of  stiffness  and  restraint  in  the 
style  of  the  writer ;  and  felt  that  he  should  not 
be  quite  easy  till  he  could  again  see  and  con- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  245 

verse  with  her,  after  the  occurrence  of  the  pre- 
ceding evening. 

"  Free  and  easy  ! — just  like  her  father,''  ob- 
served Sir  William  ;  "  no  apology,  you  see. 
She  wishes  to  see  her  old  acquaintance,  takes 
advantage  of  the  fineness  of  the  day,  and  so 
goes  without  form  or  ceremony,  feeling  that,  as 
she  means  no  slight,  no  offence  can  be  taken. 
That  is  the  character  of  the  family  —  openness 
and  candour,  and  perhaps,  a  little  too  much  of 
contempt  for  the  prejudices  of  those  who  regu- 
late their  movements  by  the  received  forms  of 
etiquette.  But  these  are  good  points  to  begin 
life  with,  Bernard.  I  am  afraid  that  too  many 
of  us  foolishly  sacrifice  much  of  our  own  happi- 
ness, by  a  cowardly  subserviency  to  the  whims 
and  caprices  of  fashion  and  custom.  To  a  cer- 
tain extent  they  must  be  submitted  to  —  it  is  in 
vain  to  resist  if  one  means  to  belong  to  society. 
But  native  good  sense.  Sir,  strength  of  mind,  a 
natural  sweetness  of  disposition,  and  affection 
for  the  object  of  her  choice,  are  all  that  a  man 
ought  to  desire  in  a  wife.  Such  a  woman  is 
like,  (excuse  me  for  comparing  your  Alicia  to 


246  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

SO  huge  an  animal,)  she  is  Uke  one  of  our  ele- 
phants in  the  East,  just  sufficiently  trained  and 
walking  with  all  its  native  majesty  and  appa- 
rent freedom;  whereas  your  merely  fashionable 
young  lady  (it  is  well  none  of  the  dear  creatures 
are  within  hearing)  is  really  more  like  one  of 
those  learned  pig-like  animals  shut  up  in  your 
menageries  here,  and  taught  to  play  the  same 
eternal  tricks,  over  and  over  again,  to  every 
fresh  set  of  company." 

"  You  may  rely  upon  it,  my  dear  uncle," 
said  Bernard,  "  that  I  shall  not  fail  to  let  Ali- 
cia know  the  compliment  which  you  have  paid 
her,  and  1  have  no  doubt  she  will  value  it  ac- 
cording to  its  magnitude.''''  / 

*'  You  are  a  saucy  fellow,  Bernard,"  rejoined 
Sir  William,  "  but  tell  her  what  you  like.  How- 
ever, if  you  had  been  in  the  East  you  would  be 
aware  that  the  elephant  is  often  made  use  of  as 
a  symbol  of  majesty  and  beauty,  and  that  it 
possesses  a  degree  of  instinct  wonderfully  ap- 
proaching our  boasted  reason,  and  a  most  extra- 
ordinary sense  of  gratitude  —  is  capable  of  the 
strongest  attachments,  and  is  keenly  alive  to  in- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  247 

juries.  I  remember  once,  when  I  was  ordered 
up  the  country — '' 

"  Oh  !"  thought  Bernard,  "  I  have  heard 
that  before  !"  But  respect  for  his  uncle  enabled 
him  to  assume  an  air  of  attention  to  the  thrice 
told  tale,  which  we  shall  not  inflict  upon  the 
reader,  inasmuch  as  it  had  no  direct  bearing 
or  influence  on  the  story  with  which  we  have 
undertaken  to  go  through,  and  which  we  appre- 
hend, from  present  appearances,  will  extend  to 
a  sufficiently  wearisome  length  without  such 
adjuncts. 

When  the  knight's  tale  and  the  breakfast 
were  ended,  Bernard  expressed  his  intention  of 
going  to  Russell  Square,  thinking  he  might 
enjoy  a  few  minutes'  conversation  with  Alicia 
before  her  departure,  or  perhaps  be  admitted 
to  accompany  her  in  her  excursion. 

"  I  am  going  into  the  city  on  business,"  said 
Sir  William,  "  and  as  I  calculated  that  you 
would  be  better  engaged  than  with  me,  I  have 
promised  to  dine  with  my  old  friend  Sir  Mar- 
maduke  Bonus,  who  has  some  thoughts  of 
standing  for  the  vacant  directorship.     He  will 


248  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

be  glad  to  see  you  likewise,  I  am  sure;  but  I  do 
not  press  you  to  go,  as  we  shall  be  all  old  East 
Indians  togetherj  and  I  hardly  think  you  would 
find  the  thing  quite  to  your  taste.  I  wish  he 
was,  in  some  respects  more  like  our  friend 
Storer;  but  Sir  Marmaduke  goes  with  the 
stream,  and  we  dine  at  seven  o'clock — that  will 
be  eight  — so  that  I  shall  be  out  later  than  I 
could  desire  —  probably  till  twelve  or  one 
o'clock.  But  I  had  almost  forgotten  one  thing, 
which,  as  you  will  have  an  hour  to  spare  to-day, 
you  will  be  able  to  manage  very  well  ;  and  that 
is,  to  look  in  at  the  coachmaker  s,  and  see  the 
carriage  that  I  have  ordered  for  you.  There 
are  some  little  matters  of  ornament,  and  the 
style  of  painting  your  arms,  on  which  I  thought 
it  better  to  wait  for  your  decision.  Storer  said 
that  their  family  had  not  got  any  arms  ;  but 
that's  all  nonsense — and  his  daughter  an  heiress 
too  ! — So  I  went  to  the  Heralds'  College,  and 
soon  set  that  matter  rig-ht.  Here  thev  are. 
Or,  a  chevron  azure  between  three  ships'  sterns 
proper. 

"  Old  Sir  Hauberk  Mooney  tells  me,  that  he 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  249 

has  no  doubt  the  Storers  are  of  a  very  ancient 
family,  and  recommends  the  sliips'  sterns  to 
be  painted  after  the  model  of  the  old  Ro- 
man galleys.  But  it  strikes  me  that  would 
be  excessively  ridiculous  now-a-days.  A  pre- 
cious figure  the  creaking,  clumsy,  barge-like 
old  things,  with  their  banks  of  rowers  ranged 
like  books,  shelf  above  shelf,  would  cut  in  a 
sneezer  off  the  Cape !  But,  however,  please 
yourself;  I  see  my  chariot  is  waiting,  and  so 
give  my  love  to  Alicia,  and  good  morning  to 
you." 

Bernard  found  no  one  but  Mrs.  Storer  at 
home  in  Russell  Square.  The  young  ladies 
had  gone  with  her  husband  into  the  city,  where 
the  carriage  was  to  drop  him  at  the  counting- 
house,  and  then  proceed  to  Clapham  with  its 
fair  charge. 

"  They  have  given  you  the  slip  this  morn- 
ing,"" observed  the  good  lady,  smiling :  "  I  told 
them  it  was  hardly  fair ;  but  they  both  seemed 
extremely  anxious  to  see  several  of  their  young 
acquaintances,  whose  parents  live  in   the  neigh- 

M  5 


250  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

bourhood  of  Clapham.  And  they  said  that 
you  would  be  very  glad  to  have  a  morning  to 
yourself,  as  you  must  have  a  great  many  things 
to  see  about,  and  purchases  to  make.  So  our 
family  is  quite  broken  up  for  the  day,  as  Mr. 
Storer  is  obliged  to  dine  with  a  party  of  gen- 
tlemen, who  are  to  meet  on  some  East  India 
business,  at  Sir  Marmaduke  Bonus's,  and  I 
mean  to  go  to  Hackney  to  spend  the  day  with 
a  poor  friend  of  mine,  a  widow,  whom  I  knew 
when  she  was  in  affluent  circumstances." 

Bernard  could  not  object  to  these  arrange- 
ments ;  but  finding  himself  thus  suddenly 
"  cut"  for  four-and- twenty  hours,  he  was  far 
from  being  in  the  very  best  of  all  possible 
humours,  as  he  drove  from  Russell  Square  to 
the  coachmaker's.  The  business  which  took  him 
there  was  soon  despatched,  and  he  was  about 
to  leave  the  place,  uncertain  where  he  should 
go  next,  when,  passing  between  two  ranks  of 
carriages,  he  found  himself  in  contact  with 
one  of  his  most  intimate  college  "  particulars." 
The    greeting    was    mutually    warm,    and    his 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  251 

friend  insisted  upon  his  making  one  of  a  choice 
party  of  Oxonians,  who  had  agreed  to  dine 
together  that  day  at  the  Thatched  House. 

"  You  '11  find  a  capital  set,  I  assure  you, 
Audrey,"  continued  the  gay  inviter ;  "  I  won't 
tell  you  who  of  Christ's  besides  ourselves  — 
leave  that  to  surprise  you.  Picked  men,  as 
you  may  suppose,  with  Cumberland  and  West- 
moreland from  Queen's,  and  Jones  of  Jesus, 
of  course,  and  last,  though  not  least,  a  lad 
after  my  own  heart  from  Pembroke,  who  can 
give  us  a  stir  up  '  with  a  will,'  as  the  sailors 
say,  if  we  happen  to  fall  '  a  nodding.' " 

"  Book  me  by  thy  coach,  honest  friend," 
said  Bernard,  highly  pleased.  '*  At  what  hour 
do  you  start  ?" 

"  Dinner  on  table  at  six  precisely,"  replied 
his  friend.  "  What  are  you  going  to  do  with 
yourself  in  the  mean  while .'"' 

"  Anything — nothing,"  answered  Bernard. 

"  And  I  have  just  the  same  sort  of  important 
business  on  my  hands,"  observed  the  other ; 
"  so  perhaps  we  can  manage  our  affairs  toge- 
ther for  an  hour  or  so." 


252  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

The  mornings  of  idlers  are  so  very  much 
alike,  that  it  is  quite  unnecessary  to  follow 
the  young  gentlemen  in  their  drive,  ride, 
and  peregrination.  Suffice  it  to  say,  that  in 
common  with  most  loungers  who  happen  to 
have  plenty  of  money  in  their  pockets,  they 
got  rid  of  a  certain  portion  of  it,  by  pur- 
chasing sundry  very  pretty-looking,  but  by  no 
means  very  useful  trifles  —  things  which  ac- 
quire a  value  from  being  carefully  and  taste- 
fully displayed  in  shop-windows  and  glass-cases, 
and  being  dubbed  with  the  magic  word  "  fashion- 
able," which  frequently  elevates  things  of  still 
lower  worth  into  temporary  importance. 

Bernard  purchased  an  elegant  little  toy-like 
gold  watch,  chain,  and  seals,  for  Alicia,  and  a 
silver-gilt  snuiF-box  for  himself,  though  he  had 
already  one  in  his  pocket. 

At  six  o'clock  there  was  much  greeting  and 
shaking  of  hands,  and  a  few  formal  introduc- 
tions. A  smile  was  on  every  face,  and  all 
appeared  to  have  come  with  the  determination 
of  being  merry. 

Then  came  the  dinner. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  253 

Not  until  after  the  cloth  was  drawn,  did 
these  "  merry  men  all "  reserve  the  fire  of  their 
exuberant  spirits.  The  joint  and  the  joke  were 
cut  together,  and,  as  one  inveterate  punster 
observed,  if  they  had  not  been  well  supphed 
with  game,  it  would  have  been  of  little  con- 
sequence, since  they  seemed  to  be  capable  of 
"  making  game  of  anything."  For  this  wretch- 
ed hit,  he  was  of  course  fined  a  bumper,  as  was 
likewise  another  bright  youth,  who,  upon  being 
asked  if  he  had  "  counted'"  how  many  head  of 
grouse  his  father  had  sent  up,  replied,  "  No, 
but  1 ''count  this  that  I  ""m  cutting  up  to  be 
as  fine  a  bird  as  ever  came  to  table." 

Little,  however,  boots  it,  when  in  youth  and 
health  the  soul  is  brimful  of  glee,  by  what 
means  the  effervescence  is  excited !  It  will 
continue  to  sparkle  on.  like  champaigne,  till 
the  very  dregs  of  the  feast.  It  did  so  on  the 
present  occasion.  Bernard  Audrey,  who  was  as 
gay  as  any  of  his  companions,  appeared  to  have 
lost  sight  of  his  invisible  difficulties,  and  it  was 
two  in  the  morning  before  they  separated. 

It  had    been  his  intention  to   walk   straiirht 


254f  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

home  to  his  quarters  in  Covent  Garden,  but 
somehow,  he  knew  not  why,  the  topography  of 
the  streets  was  not  correctly  delineated  before 
his  mind's  eye.  He  had  parted  with  a  friend  at 
the  corner  of  St.  James's  Street  and  Piccadilly, 
and  pursued  his  way  along  the  latter,  with  a 
perfect  conviction  that  all  was  right.  He  then 
recollected  that  there  were  some  alleys  by  which 
he  might  cross  into  Leicester  Square,  and  thence 
into  Drury  Lane ;  but  as  the  navigation  was 
somewhat  intricate,  he  resolved  to  be  prudent, 
and  take  the  coach  road  ;  so  he  turned  to  the 
left,  and  overshooting  the  mark,  soon  got  be- 
wildered in  the  maze  of  streets  about  Soho 
Square  and  the  Seven  Dials,  and  at  last  was 
gaping  about  him  in  the  well-known  purlieus  of 
St.  Giles's. 

As  he  crossed  the  Broad  Street,  and  caught  a 
glimpse  of  the  church,  he  first  became  sensible 
of  where  he  was ;  and  the  next  thing  that  drew 
his  attention  was  the  figure  of  a  man,  skulking 
suspiciously  in  a  doorway,  and  apparently  on 
the  watch,  as  he  naturally  supposed  for  no  good 
purpose.     The  character  of  the  neighbourhood, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  255 

and  the  lateness  of  the  hour,  were  fully  sufficient 
to  justify  his  suspicions,  which  received  addi- 
tional strength  from  the  circumstance  of  the 
watchman  being  off  his  beat.  A  few  steps  far- 
ther brought  him  to  the  corner  of  a  narrow 
street,  in  which,  at  the  distance  of  some  yards, 
he  beheld  too  ill-looking  men  whispering  be- 
neath the  lamp. 

"  I  7nust  inquire  the  way  to  Covent  Garden 
of  some  one,'"*  thought  he  ;  '*  and  if  the  fellows 
should  attempt  any  violence,  I  have  nothing  to 
do  but  to  give  my  ear  a  twitch  and  disappear." 

Accordingly  he  very  civilly  accosted  the 
strangers,  and  asked  his  road.  One  of  them  re- 
plied that  he  must  go  straightforward,  and 
then  turn  to  the  right,  and  then  to  the  left,  and 
afterwards  to  the  left  again,  and  that  would 
bring  him  into  a  street,  at  the  end  of  which  he 
would  find  another,  with  an  alley  on  the  right, 
which  went  round  a  corner,  where  he  would  find 
a  street  going  a  little  to  the  left ;  and  was  pro- 
ceeding in  the  same  style,  when  Bernard  inter- 
rupted him  by  saying, 

"  You  are  mistaken  in  your  man,  my  lad.    If 


256  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

you  Ve  a  mind  to  put  me  in  the  right  way,  well 
and  good ;  if  not,  keep  your  jokes  to  your- 
self." 

"  I  say,  Dick,"  observed  the  other  man, 
"  I  'm  dashed  if  he  an't  a  beak." 

"  Look  ye,  my  tight  un,"  said  the  first, 
"  you  'd  better  follow  your  nose  some  other 
vay,  for  ve  're  up  to  you." 

"  Give  him  a  topper,  Dick  !"  cried  his  com- 
rade. 

"  Blow  me  if  I  an"'t  a  good  mind,"  said  Dick. 

"  Here  goes,  then  !"  exclaimed  the  other,  flou- 
rishing his  bludgeon,  and  getting  between  their 
intended  victim  and  the  main  street. 

Our  hero  lost  not  a  moment  in  pulling  his 
ear  with  the  usual  effect. 

"  Vy — you  \e  let  the  covey  slip  by  you, 
Tom,"  cried  Dick. 

'*  No,  I  an't,"  was  the  reply.  "  He  vos  here 
a  moment  ago,  and  must  ha'  gone  up  the  alley." 

"  Veil — it's  as  rum  a  go  as  ever  I  seed," 
said  Dick.  "I  only  just  turned  my  head  round 
to  see  as  nobody  vos  a  coming." 

"  I'm  dasht  if  I   likes  it,"  observed   Tom. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  257 

"  There's  sunimut  very  mysterious  about  the 
consarn." 

As  they  were  peeping  about  in  the  doorways 
and  up  a  narrow  alley,  Bernard  bethought  him- 
self that  if  he  sent  the  fellows  home  in  a  fright, 
it  would  prevent  them  from  committing  any 
depredations  for  one  night  at  least ;  therefore, 
being  provided  with  a  tolerably  stout  walking- 
stick,  he  took  an  opportunity  when  Tom  was 
whispering  something  to  Dick,  to  give  the  latter 
a  smart  stroke  across  the  shoulders. 

The  ruffian  turned  sharply  round  to  act  upon 
the  defensive,  but  perceiving  no  assaikint,  accus- 
ed his  companion,  who  replied,  "  How  can  you 
tell  such  a  lie,  Dick  !  I  never  moved  my  stick 
a  morsel ;"''  and  as  he  was  speaking,  he  himself 
received  a  sharp  blow  from  the  invisible  Ber- 
nard as  he  was  looking  his  comrade  in  the  face. 

An  exclamation,  half-prayer,  half-oath,  es- 
caped from  both  the  terrified  ruffians,  who  then 
stood  for  a  moment  aghast,  looking  at  each 
other.  But  Bernard,  who  now  began  to  enjoy 
the  sport,  cast  his  eyes  on  Dick's  formidable 
bhidgeon,  which  appeared  much  better  suited 


^5S  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

for  the  present  exigency  than  the  stick  he  had 
previously  used ;  so,  approaching  unseen,  he 
snatched  the  weapon  from  its  owner,  and  it  im- 
mediately became  invisible  in  his  hands,  and  a 
moment  afterwards  was  rattling  briskly  about 
the  heads  and  shoulders  of  the  two  sinners,  who 
forthwith  made  a  very  precipitate  retreat,  fol- 
lowed by  their  invisible  foe,  till  they  rushed 
into  a  narrow  passage,  where  the  want  of  light 
compelled  him  to  give  up  the  pursuit. 

Returning  from  the  chace  in  high  spirits,  our 
hero  recollected  that  he  had  heard  something 
fall  upon  the  pavement,  as  if  purposely  dropped 
by  one  of  the  fellows,  and  searching  the  place, 
he  found  a  canvass-bag,  containing  something 
that  jingled.  He  was  about  to  open  and  exa- 
mine its  contents  by  the  light  of  a  lamp,  when 
he  was  reminded  of  his  situation  by  its  invisi- 
bility ;  so  he  committed  it  to  his  pocket  for  a 
more  convenient  opportunity,  and  resolved  to 
defer  the  pulling  of  his  right  ear  till  he  should 
get  into  a  better  neighbourhood. 

After  regaining  the  Broad  Street,  he  had 
not    walked    many    yards   ere   he   perceived  a 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  259 

hackney-coach  standing  by  the  side  of  the  pave- 
ment, as  if  waiting  for  some  one.  This  was  an 
opportunity  too  tempting  to  be  resisted.  He 
looked  in  at  the  window,  but  perceived  no  one 
inside,  and  the  coachman  appeared  to  be  dozing 
on  the  box. 

"  It  is  not  far  to  Covent  Garden,"  said  he  to 
himself,  "  I  am  sure  of  that,  though  I  don't 
exactly  know  the  way,  so  the  fellow  can  put  me 
down  there,  and  come  back  again  here  for  his 
fare.  But,  at  all  events,  '  possession  is  nine 
points  of  the  law,'  so  I  '11  get  in  ;"  and  without 
further  ceremony,  he  gently  opened  the  coach- 
door,  scrambled  over  the  steps,  seated  and  shut 
himself  up,  pulled  his  right  ear,  and  then  the 
check-string,  and  desired  the  startled  coachman 
to  drive  to  Covent  Garden. 

"  Ay,  ay,  sir,"  was  the  reply,  and  then  lean- 
ing back  and  speaking  through  the  front  win- 
dow, honest  Jarvey  added  in  a  low  tone,  "  Is 
all  right  ?" 

"  Yes,  yes  —  all  right,"  said  Bernard,  throw- 
ing himself  back  in  his  seat,  and  highly  pleased 
with  his  own  ingenuity. 


260  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

The  vehicle  began  then  to  move  forward  with 
a  velocity  which  promised  soon  to  bring  him  to 
the  end  of  his  ride  ;  but  it  had  not  proceeded 
far  ere  there  was  a  sudden  stop. 

"  What's  the  matter,  coachy  ?"  asked  our 
hero,  thrusting  his  head  out  of  window. 

"  Nothing  very  particular,"  was  the  answer, 
''  only  my  splinter-bar  has  given  way  ;  but  I 
can  tie  it  up  and  make  it  all  right  in  half  a  mi- 
nute. Lend  us  a  hand  here,  will  you,  my  good 
fellow  ?""  continued  the  coachman,  to  a  man  who 
came  up  at  the  moment,  as  if  to  see  what  was 
passing.  They  were  soon  joined  by  a  third, 
and  then  a  whispering  consultation  seemed  to 
be  going  on  concerning  the  repairs  of  the 
splinter-bar. 

"  If  it  will  take  long,  I  'II  get  out  and  walk," 
said  Bernard. 

"  No ;  it  won't  take  a  minute,"  replied  the 
coachman  ;  "  only  we  must  have  some  ropes 
from  under  the  seat.  Scarcely  had  he  uttered 
these  words  when  both  doors  of  the  coach  were 
opened  at  the  same  moment,  and  the  two  men 
whose  assistance  had  been  requested,  sprang  in, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  2CA 

not  to  search  for  ropes,  but  each  to  seize  upon 
one  of  the  arms  of  our  hero,  who,  ere  he  was 
aware  of  what  was  going  forward  found  himself 
very  securely  handcuffed,  with  his  arms  behind 
him. 

The  two  operators  then  seated  themselves  in 
the  vehicle  with  all  imaginable  sangfroid,  and 
ordered  the  coachman  to  drive  on.  It  was  all 
in  vain  that  Bernard  exhibited  divers  symptoms 
of  passion  and  indignation,  and  inquired  the 
meaning  of,  and  protested  against,  the  treat- 
ment which  he  had  received.  The  few  replies 
which  his  captors  condescended  to  make  were 
extremely  laconic  and  unsatisfactory. 

"  Ay,  ay,  go  it,  my  lad  !''  said  one. 

*' To  be  sure  you  Ve  innocent,'' observed  the 
other  ;  "  I  dare  say  you  Ve  got  no  idea  what 's 
in  this  hamper  ?"  laying  his  hand  on  one  which 
stood  on  the  front  seat,  and  which  Bernard  had 
not  at  first  noticed,  in  consequence  of  the  blind 
being  up  on  that  side. 

In  about  ten  minutes  they  reached  a  watch- 
house,  where  the  prisoner  was  handed  out  with 
all  due  form  and  ceremony,  and  brought  before 
the  dogberry  of  the  night. 


262  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

When  Bernard  and  the  hamper  were  placed 
before  the  nocturnal  chief  justice  of  the  district, 
the  former  boldly  demanded  what  charge  could 
possibly  be  brought  against  him,  and  inveighed 
bitterly  against  the  whole  proceedings. 

Without  condescending  to  take  any  notice  of 
his  complaints,  the  red-night- capped  function- 
ary told  the  captors  to  maiie  their  charge.  One 
of  them  immediately  went  close  up  to  the  judi- 
cial seat  of  office,  and  whispered  something  in 
the  ear  of  his  worship,  who  listened,  shook  his 
head,  wrapped  his  watch-coat  more  closely 
round  his  legs,  eyed  the  prisoner  very  atten- 
tively, and  then  said — 

"  Yes — there  's  no  other  way.  If  the  thing 
once  gets  wind,  we  shall  want  a  troop  of  horse. 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  2S6 

at  least,  to  get  him  to  the  office ;  so  bring  the 
hamper  this  way,  and  you,  Murphy  and  Flan- 
nagan,  hold  the  prisoner  fast  !"" 

Tlie  hamper  was  accordingly  hauled  into  one 
corner ;  the  strings  which  confined  the  lid  were 
cut,  and  it  was  lifted  in  a  cautious  manner,  so 
that  no  one  except  the  representative  of  his 
Majesty  and  the  two  officers,  could  see  the 
contents. 

"  It  ""s  all  plain  enough  !"  said  the  former, 
•'  so  there  's  no  need  for  any  more  bones  about 
the  matter.  Search  him  well  first,  and  then 
pack  him  into  the  black  hole." 

Bernard  protested  against  this  indignity,  and 
insisted  upon  knowing  what  charge  there  was 
against  him. 

"  Don't  be  a  fool,"  replied  he  of  the  red  cap ; 
**  you  know  well  enough  —  it  ^s  all  for  your 
good  —  so  don't  make  an  ass  of  yourself.  Tell 
me  your  name,  that 's  all.  What  do  you  choose 
to  call  yourself  ?" 

Coupling  this  address  with  what  had  passed 
and  what  he  had  heard  before,  our  hero  now 
began  to  guess  the  real  state  of  the  case ;  and 


264  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

wishing  to  keep  his  own  name  out  of  the  papers, 
made  use  of  the  first  he  could  think  of,  and  that 
happened  to  be  the  butcher's,  "  George  Bur- 
rows,*" which  was  immediately  inserted  in  the 
minutes  of  the  court. 

In  the  mean  while  the  search  was  going  on, 
and  rude  hands  were  rummaging  his  pockets. 

"  What  are  you  by  trade  ?"  was  the  next 
question. 

"  Trade  !"  exclaimed  Bernard  ;  "'  I  am  a 
gentleman." 

"*  Humph  !"  rejoined  the  president  of  the 
night.  "  Very  well  f'  and  the  addition  was 
made  to  the  name  of  George  Burrows. 

"  A  real  gentleman  !  by  all  the  courts  !" 
cried  one  of  the  officers,  opening  ihe  canvass  bag 
which  our  hero  had  picked  up,  after  belabour- 
ing his  two  ugly  acquaintances  in  St.  Giles's. 
"  A  real  gentleman,  "'pon  honour,  and  here  's 
his  certificate  —  as  neat  and  well-made  a  set  of 
skeletons  and  picks  as  one  would  wish  to  clap 
eyes  on  —  and  they  Ve  been  pretty  well  used 
too  !" 

"  DVat    him  !''     exclaimed   the   other,  "  but 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  265 

he 's  done  thinojs  snug,  never  to  be  nabbed 
afore  now.  See,  here'*s  a  couple  of  tickers  ! 
One's  a  lady's,"" — here  he  exhibited  the  small 
watch  intended  for  Alicia.  "  And  here 's  a 
brace  of  sneezers  r  he  continued,  laying  our 
hero's  two  snuff-boxes  on  the  table. 

"  And,  look  ye  !"  cried  the  first,  brandishing 
the  cufigel,  which  tiie  prisoner  had  used  in  his 
invisible  exploit,  and  taken  with  him  mechani- 
cally into  the  coach.  "  Look  !  This  is  just 
such  an  elegant  stick  as  gentlemen  always  walk 
about  with.  My  eyes!  He''sa  reg'lar  prime 
un,  and  '11  turn  his  hand  to  anything  for  an 
honest  penny." 

After  a  little  more  of  this  coarse  jocularity, 
our  hero  was  permitted  (in  consequence  of  a 
pecuniary  offer  v.liich  he  thought  proper  to 
make)  to  repose  himself  in  a  chair  near  the 
fire,  instead  of  being  shut  up  in  the  black-hole. 
But,  as  his  captors  remained  deaf  to  all  en- 
treaties relative  to  the  removal  of  the  handcuffs, 
he  was  unable  to  avail  himself  of  his  left-ear- 
pulling  privilege,  and  was  consequently  obliged 
to  await  the  result  of  the  morning.     The  hours 

VOL.  I.  N 


266-       THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

passed  slowly.  Now  and  then  he  lost  all  clear 
recollection  of  where  he  was,  in  a  doglike  sort 
of  sleep,  and  then  starting,  would  twist  himself 
round  to  find  an  easier  attitude,  and  altogether 
was  most  exceedingly  uncomfortable  both  in 
body  and  mind. 

At  length  the  hour   of  removal  came.     He 
w^as  placed  in  a  hackney  coach  under  the  care 
of  his    captors,    and    conveyed   to    Bow-street, 
where,  after  waiting  his  turn,   he  was  brought 
before  the  sitting  magistrate,  in  order  that  the 
charge  against  him  might  be  duly  investigated. 
The  bunches  of  skeleton  keys  and  picklocks, 
a  bottle  of  phosphorus  and  matches,  which  were 
likewise  in  the  canvass-bag,    the  two  watches, 
the    two     snuff-boxes,     and     the     formidable 
bludgeon,  were  all  produced  and  laid  upon  the 
table :    and    then    the    ominous    hamper    was 
brought  in,  and  was  found  to  contain  a  human 
body, which  had  evidently  been  disinterred. 

The  hackney-coachman  was  then  called  upon ; 
and  the  account  which  he  gave  was,  that  he 
had  been  applied  to  to  take  a  fare  into  the 
Borough,  for  which  he  was  to  get  half-a-guinea 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  261 

and  a  bottle  of  gin.  That  he  had  agreed  to 
be  in  waiting  at  the  appointed  place  at  a 
quarter  past  two;  but,  his  mind  misgiving 
him  that  something  wrong  was  going  forward* 
he  had  given  information,  and  was  instructed 
to  keep  his  appointment  with  the  suspected 
persons,  and  to  act  afterwards  as  he  had  done. 
That  accordingly  he  drove  to  the  spot,  exactly 
at  a  quarter-past  two,  and  a  few  minutes  after- 
wards, two  men  came  and  lifted  the  hamper 
into  the  coach ;  and  then,  after  talking  to  each 
other  some  time,  they  went  away  all  in  a  hurry, 
as  if  they  were  alarmed  at  something:  but  one 
of  them  said  he  should  come  back  again  pre- 
sently, and  slip  into  the  coach,  and  then  says 
he,  "Directly  I  say  'all's  right!'  you  drive 
off,  as  if  old  scratch  was  after  you."  To 
all  this  he  added,  that  the  prisoner  had  con- 
trived to  slip  into  the  coach  so  cleverly,  as 
quite  to  frighten  him,  for,  that  though  he 
pretended  to  be  asleep,  he  had  looked  round 
♦  not  a  moment  before,  and  didn't  see  a  single 
soul  in  the  street. 

The  next  evidence  was  one  of  the   officers, 
N  2 


268  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

who  stated  that  being  on  the  watch,  in  conse- 
quence  of  the  information  of  the  coachman,  he 
saw  the  two  men  take  the  hamper  as  before 
described ;  but  knowing  that  body-snatchers 
are  generally  desperate,  he  did  not  venture  to 
face  them  alone,  as  his  companion  was  then  at 
some  distance,  looking  out  in  another  direction. 
But  directly  they  were  gone,  and  he  saw  them 
turn  round  the  corner,  he  proceeded  cautiously 
to  join  his  comrade,  and  in  so  doing,  observed 
the  prisoner  crossing  Broad-street,  and  look- 
ing about  him  in  a  very  suspicious  manner.  So, 
making  no  doubt  that  he  was  one  of  the  gang, 
he  resolved  to  keep  his  eye  upon  his  motions, 
particularly  as  he  then  caught  sight  of  his 
comrade,  edging  towards  him.  That  the  pri- 
soner continued  to  cast  his  eyes  round  in  all 
directions,  as  if  seeking  some  one,  till  he  came 
to  the  corner  of  the  street  down  which  the 
other  two  had  gone,  and  then  he  immediately 
turned  into  it  likewise. 

The  witness  then  went  on  to  sav,  that  he 
advanced  cautiously  to  the  said  corner,  and 
taking  off  his  hat,  contrived  to  peep  round,  and 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  269 

saw  all  three  of  them,  that  is,  the  prisoner  and 
the  two  men  who  brought  the  hamper  to  the 
coach,  consulting  together:  but  not  being  near 
enough  to  hear  what  they  said,  and  being  afraid 
they  would  perceive  him,  he  drew  back  and 
determined  to  watch  the  coach,  which,  notwith- 
standing his  vigilance,  the  prisoner  contrived 
to  enter  about  a  quarter  of  an  hour  after  with- 
out being  perceived.  But  he  could  take  his 
oath  as  to  his  person,  having  clearly  caught 
sight  of  his  face  by  the  light  of  a  lamp,  as  he 
himself  was  hid  in  the  recess  of  a  dark  entry. 

When  Bernard  was  called  upon  for  his  de- 
fence, he  requested  to  speak  to  the  magistrate 
in  private.  There  was  some  hesitation  and 
whispering  among  the  gentlemen  on  the  bench, 
who  agreed  that  if  no  other  suspicions  were 
attached  to  the  prisoner,  save  those  which  might 
arise  from  being  found  in  possession  of  the 
body,  his  request  might  with  propriety  have 
been  granted ;  as  it  might  be  supposed  from 
his  appearance,  that  he  was  a  young  man  of 
the  medical  profession,  led  by  ardour  for  the 
acquirement  of  knowledge,  foolishly  to  connect 


270  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLExMAN. 

himself  with  wretches  whose  calling  it  was  to 
procure  "  subjects"  for  dissection.  But  the 
bludgeon,  the  two  watches,  two  snufF-boxes, 
and,  above  all,  the  picklocks  and  phosphorus, 
proclaimed  that  he  was  a  very  different  cha- 
racter.    Therefore  the  magistrate  replied, 

"  Unless  you  have  some  confession  to  make 
which  may  lead  to  the  apprehension  of  your 
accomplices,  in  this  or  any  other  nefarious 
transaction  in  which  you  may  have  been  en- 
gaged, I  think  it  more  proper,  Burrows,  that 
your  defence  should  be  public.  But  if  you 
are  disposed  to  assist  the  ends  of  justice,  why, 
then r 

"  The  ends  of  justice  absolutely  require  it," 
said  our  hero. 

"  That  alters  the  case,""  replied  the  magis- 
trate— and  in  another  minute  he,  and  his  clerk, 
and  Bernard,  were  in  a  private  room. 

The  latter  then  told  his  real  name,  stated 
that  he  had  dined  with  a  party  of  friends — how 
he  had  mistaken  his  road  from  St.  James's 
Street  —  that  he  knew  nothing  of  the  men  to 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  271 

whom  he  had  spoken,  merely  for  the  purpose  of 
being  directed  on  his  way  to  Coven t  Garden — 
that,  instead  of  assisting,  they  insulted  him,  and 
that  on  seeing  a  hackney  coach  he  gladly  availed 
himself  of  it,  with  the  hope  of  getting  out  of 
his  difficulties  ;  and  moreover,  as  he  occupied 
the  back  seat,  had  not  observed  the  hamper  till 
the  coach  suddenly  stopped,  just  before  the  offi- 
cers made  him  their  prisoner. 

The  magistrate  shook  his  head  gravely,  and 
observed,  "  This  is  a  poor  come-off,  Andrews,  or 
Burrows,  or  whatever  you  call  yourself.  A 
man  in  your  line  could  hardly  want  any  direc- 
tion from  St.  Giles's  to  Co  vent  Garden.  How- 
ever, let  that  pass.  And  now  what  have  you  to 
say  about  the  picklocks  and  skeleton  keys,  and 
so  on  ?  Some  of  the  instruments  appear  to  be 
well  calculated  far  picking  pockets  and  shop- 
lifting. Do  you  usuallj/  take  such  things  when 
you  go  to  a  dinner-party  ?'''' 

"  I  know  nothing  of  their  use,"  replied  Ber- 
nard ;  "  I  found  the  bag  lying  on  the  pave- 
ment, where  it  was  dropped  by  one  of  the  men 
as  he  ran  off.'' 


272  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

"  Ran  off !""  exclaimed  the  magistrate  ;  "  I 
thought  you  said  they  insulted  you  ?'"* 

"  And  so  they  did,"  said  the  prisoner  ;  "they 
attacked  me  with  their  bludgeons,  but  I 

"  Don't  hesitate,"  said  the  justice.  "  What 
did  you  do  ?" 

"  Why  I— I  got  the  better  of  them,"  conti- 
nued our  hero. 

"  Upon  my  word  !"  exclaimed  the  magis- 
trate, "  after  what  the  officers  say  of  the  des- 
perate character  of  the  fellows,  that  was  no 
small  exploit ;  but  however,  you  carry  a  tolera- 
bly stout  walking-stick.  I  suppose  that  is  the 
last  new  fashion  among  gay  young  fellows  who 
dine  in  St.  James's  Street  .'^" 

"  No,  Sir,"  observed  Bernard,  *•  I  snatched  it 
from  one  of  the  ruffians,  and  I  '11  be  bound  to  say 
that  he  carries  the  marks  of  it  about  him.  But 
we  are  wasting  time,  Sir.  If  you  will  allow  me 
to  write  a  note  to  iny  uncle,  Sir  William  Au- 
drey, at  the  Imperial  Hotel,  in  Covent  Garden, 
you  shall  soon  be  convinced  of  your  error." 

By  this  time  a  crowd  had  collected  in  front 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  213 

of  the  office,  in  consequence  of  a  rumour  that  a 
"  body  snatcher  "  was  in  custody  and  undergo- 
ing examination.  The  magistrate  judged  it  pro- 
bable that  the  prisoner''s  accomplices  might  take 
advantage  of  the  tumult,  and  attempt  a  rescue ; 
therefore,  he  resolved  not  to  remove  the  hand- 
cuffs, and  instead  of  allowing  him  to  write,  des- 
patched his  own  clerk  to  Sir  William,  to  repre- 
sent the  state  of  the  case. 

The  worthy  knight  had  just  entered  the 
breakfast  parlour  when  he  received  this  strange 
communication,  to  which  he  listened  very  atten- 
tively, and  then  rang  the  bell,  and  desired  to 
speak  to  Andrews,  his  nephew's  valet,  who  soon 
made  his  appearance,  and  after  some  hesitation 
acknowledged  that  his  master  had  not  been  at 
home  since  the  preceding  morning. 

"  But,*"  continued  he,  "  I  did  not  feel  at  all 
uneasy,  because  I  thought  he  must  be  in  Rus- 
sell Square,  and  most  likely  took  a  bed  there. 
I  hope  nothing  is  the  matter,  Sir  ?''^ 

**  No,  no  —  nothing  particular,  Andrews,"' 
replied   Sir  William,    "  help   me   on  with   m}' 

N  5 


274  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

great  coat,  will  you — that's  a  good  fellow. — And 
now,  Sir,""  he  continued,  turning  to  the  clerk, 
"  I  am  at  your  service." 

When  they  had,  with  some  difficulty,  effected 
an  entrance  into  the  office,  the  worthy  knight 
was  much  shocked  to  find  his  nephew  in  such  a 
disgraceful  predicament.  It  was  no  time,  how- 
ever, for  more  than  the  necessary  explanation. 
Their  relationship  was,  of  course,  instantly  ac- 
knowledged, and  Sir  William  offered  bail  to  any 
amount ;  while  at  the  same  time  he  ridiculed 
the  idea  that  any  charge  of  a  serious  nature 
could  possibly  be  brought  against  Bernard. 

After  some  consideration,  the  magistrate 
thought  himself  justified  in  accepting  this  of- 
fer, and  liberating  the  prisoner,  principally,  as 
he  said,  because  there  were  no  grave-clothes 
about  the  corpse,  and  therefore  he  should  not 
be  able  to  commit  him  for  felony.  The  hand- 
cuffs were  then  removed,  and  Sir  William  and 
Bernard  made  their  exeunt  by  a  side-door,  and 
were  very  soon  afterwards  at  breakfast,  in  the 
snug  little  parlour  of  the  former.  Something 
of  a  lecture  was  to  be  expected  under  existing 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  275 

circumstances :  but  upon  the  whole  the  old 
knight  was  very  merciful,  "  for  he  still  remem- 
bered that  he  once  was  young,"  and  his  nephew 
certainly  had  not  hitherto  been  in  the  habit  of 
getting  into  rows,  nor  of  making  his  appearance 
at  public  offices. 

"  These  things  are  very  disreputable,  Ber- 
nard," said  he ;  "  I  would  not  for  the  world 
that  our  friend  Storer  should  hear  of  it,  for  his 
prejudices  are  very  strong  against  what  you 
call  '  bloods,'  and  yesterday  he  expressed  his 
satisfaction  that  you  did  not  belong  to  any  set 
of  that  kind." 

''  My  dear  uncle,"  replied  our  hero,  "  I  felt 
the  awkwardness  of  publicity  directly  I  found 
myself  in  the  ridiculous  and  embarrassing 
situation  from  which  you  so  kindly  hasten- 
ed to  relieve  me,  and  I  took  the  precaution 
to  conceal  my  real  name,  as  every  foolish 
transaction,  somehow,  finds  its  way  into  the 
newspapers." 

"  Well,  so  far  all  is  well,"  observed  Sir  Wil- 
liam ;  "  but  another  time,  when  you  dine  with 
a  party  where  there  is  the  remotest  chance  of 


276  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

your  taking  a  few  glasses  more  than  ordinary, 
always  have  your  carriage  in  waiting.  Remem- 
ber, you  have  now  a  certain  station  in  life  to 
support,  and  are  no  longer  a  mere  Oxford-man. 
But  I  will  not  tire  you  with  a  long  sermon.  I 
see  that  you  are  heartily  ashamed  of  the  whole 
affair,  and,  to  tell  you  the  truth,  your  appear- 
ance is  by  no  means  improved  from  your  ad- 
ventures. I  think  you  had  better  '  turn  in,'  as 
the  sailors  have  it,  after  breakfast.'^ 

"  I  certainly  do  not  feel  any  better  for  my 
rough  night's  lodging,"  replied  Bernard,  "  but 
I  shall  be  as  well  as  ever  when  I  have  shaved 
and  dressed  myself,  and  then  I  'm  off  to  Russell 
Square,  as  I  wish  to  take  Alicia  to  see  my 
carriage." 

"  Ah  !"  cried  Sir  William,  "  that  reminds 
me  of  something  which  this  business  of  yours 
quite  drove  out  of  my  head.  The  young  ladies 
were  to  have  called  on  their  way  back  last  night 
to  take  up  Mr.  Storer  at  Sir  Marmaduke's,  but 
the  carriage  came  without  them,  and  the  coach- 
man brought  a  note  to  say  that  they  should  re- 
main at  Clapham  ;  therefore  you  need  not  hurry 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.         277 

yourself  about  calling,  as  Mr.  Storer  is  always 
in  the  city  now  at  ten  o'clock.  So,  go  and  lie 
down  quietly,  and  get  rid  of  your  fatigue,  while 
I  make  two  or  three  calls  connected  with  this 
directorship,  for  which  my  friend  Sir  Marma- 
duke  is  resolved  to  stand.  I  have  promised 
him  all  my  interest  —  and  I  have  not  forgotten 
yours.  But  matters  are  not  ripe  yet,  so  we 
must  keep  all  snug  for  the  present.  However, 
as  you  are  a  party  concerned,  I  '11  just  give  you 
a  hint.  What  think  you  of  a  seat  in  parlia- 
ment ?  Storer  is  delighted  with  the  idea,  and 
prophesies  that  you  will  make  a  shining  orator. 
But  we  must  have  no  more  night-work,  nor 
bludgeon-fighting  v.ith  body-snatchers.  I  really 
am  surprised  how  you  contrived  to  beat  off'  a 
couple  of  such  desperate  wretches. — Well,  well, 
I  won't  be  too  hard  upon  you,  for  I  see  you  are 
tired  of  the  subject,  and  '  ne  quid  nimis'  is  a 
very  excellent  maxim,  particularly  for  us  elder- 
ly gentlemen.  I  have  some  notion  of  taking 
Storer's  dinner  to-day,  '  all  in  a  family  wa}^,'  as 
he  says,  if  I  can  make  it  out.  Perhaps  you  '11 
be  there   too,   and  very  likely  the  fair  truants 


278  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

will  have  found  their  way  back  by  that  time. 
In  the  mean  while  go  to  bed  —  go  to  sleep,  and 
dream  —  of  what  you  please — your  mistress,  or 
your  first  speech." 

"  My  dear  uncle,"  said  our  hero,  "  I  know 
not  how  to  be  sufficiently  grateful  to  you,  nor 
sufficiently  ashamed  of  myself,  when  I  think  of 
the  very  different  manner  in  which  our  time  has 
been  spent  since  we  parted  yesterday." 

'*  Say  no  more  about  it !"  exclaimed  Sir  Wil- 
liam, seizing  his  nephew's  hand  and  squeezing 
it  kindly. 

"  There  was  a  time  when  T  might  have  done 
just  the  same,  only  I  can't  say  that  I  ever  was 
man  enough  to  have  fought  myself  out  of  the 
clutches  of  a  brace  of  resurrectionists  quite  so 
cleverly  as  you  did.  When  a  young  man  sees 
his  error,  my  dear  fellow,  and  confesses  it  can- 
didly, as  you  do,  an  old  fellow  must  be  much 
more  cross-grained  than  your  uncle  to  go  on 
harping  upon  the  same  string.  If  Alicia  had 
stayed  at  home,  nothing  of  the  sort  would  have 
happened.    A  little  gipsy  !  it  was  all  her  fault." 

The  worthy  knight  had  by  this  time  talked 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  279 

himself  into  high  spirits ;  and  as  his  nephew's 
happiness  was  the  end  of  all  his  actions  and 
plans,  he  resolved,  contrary  to  his  previous  in- 
tentions, to  give  him  something  more  than  a 
glimpse  of  what  was  going  forward  for  his  be- 
nefit. Therefore,  in  the  joy  and  pride  of  his 
heart,  he  informed  Bernard  with  as  little  cir- 
cumlocution as  might  be  compatible  with  the 
requisite  explanation  of  a  complex,  "  dove-tail- 
ed*" arrangement,  that  his  own  and  Mr.  Storer's 
interest  among  the  East  India  stock-holders, 
and  in  East  India  transactions,  were  of  suffi- 
cient importance  to  induce  Sir  Marmaduke  to 
promise,  that  in  the  event  of  his  election  he 
would  nominate  our  hero  as  a  member  for  his 
borough  of  Trevotain  in  Cornwall. 

"  And  then,"  continued  Sir  William,  with 
somewhat  very  like  tears  in  his  eyes,  "  when 
the  family  title  is  recovered,  as  well  as  the 
estate,  and  I  see  you  a  baronet,  a  married  man, 
and  an  M.P.  I  shall  have  little  else  to  wish  for. 
How  happy  my  poor  brother  would  have  been 
had  he  lived  to  see  the  day  when  all  our  youth- 
ful dreams  of  ancestral  honours  and  importance 


280  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

shall  be  realized  !  But  I  shall  make  a  fool  of 
myself  if  I  continue  to  talk  longer  on  the  sub- 
ject, so  God  bless  you,  my  dear  fellow  !  We 
meet  again  at  five.  No  thanks — no  '  nonsense,' 
as  Storer  would  say.  We  know  each  other's 
feelings,  and  that  's  enough." 

When  Bernard  was  left  alone,  his  thoughts 
naturally  turned  upon  his  future  prospects. 
Whichever  way  he  looked,  all  would  have 
seemed  bright  and  cloudless  throughout  the 
whole  horizon,  but  for  certain  dark  spots,  caus- 
ed by  the  gratification  of  his  wild  and  fool- 
ish wish  ;  but  these  he  trusted  would  soon  be 
dispersed,  and  throwing  himself  upon  the  bed, 
he  resolved  to  indulge  in  pleasant  fancies.  So 
— anticipating  his  marriage,  his  return  to  par- 
liament, the  assumption  of  his  ancestral  title, 
and  the  various  enjoyments  to  be  procured  b}' 
wealth,  all  of  which  now  appeared  within  his 
reach,  he  fell  asleep.  Then,  in  spite  of  the 
brilliant  imasinino^s  which  had  lulled  him  to 
repose,  his  dreams  were  haunted  by  the  image 
of  the  elderly  pale-faced  old  gentleman,  with  his 
two  boxes  of  ointment,  who  seemed  to  come  and 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  281 

go,  flitting  by  and  bending  over  him,  mowing, 
chattering,  grimacing,  and  laughing,  and  scorn- 
fully inquiring  how  he  liked  the  power  with 
which  he  had  so  earnestly  desired  to  be  invest- 
ed. As  he  turned  away  to  behold  pleasanter 
objects,  the  pallid  figure  seemed  nimbly  to  shift 
its  position,  and  holding  up  a  large  black  veil, 
triumphantly  contrived  to  intervene  and  shut 
out  the  more  distant  prospect  whichever  way  he 
looked.  Provoked  beyond  measure,  he  attempt- 
ed to  snatch  the  dark,  flag-like  omen  from  the 
hands  of  his  hateful  persecutor;  but  though  it 
ever  seemed  close  upon  him,  even  so  as  to  pre- 
vent him  from  breathing  freely,  no  sooner  was 
his  hand  stretched  forth,  than  the  shadowy 
creature  glided  beyond  arm's  length,  and  flut- 
tered his  black  ensig-n  in  defiance. 


282  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

We  must  now  trace  the  movements  of  the 
young  ladies. 

After  Alicia's  fright,  as  she  lay  upon  her  pil- 
low, her  thoughts  naturally  ran  upon  what  had 
just  occurred  ;  and  the  more  she  compared  her 
own  sensations  with  the  positive  manner  in 
which  Charlotte  Read  had  formerly  spoken  of 
feeling  Bernard  grasp  her  by  the  arms,  and 
hearing  him  utter  an  ejaculation,  although  un- 
able to-  see  him,  the  more  evident  it  became 
that  their  cases  were  of  a  similar  nature. 

Full  of  this  idea,  she  went  to  Emily's  room 
early  in  the  morning,  and  it  soon  appeared  that 
the  thoughts  of  each  had  taken  the  same  direc- 
tion. 

"  You  know,  my  dear,"  said  Alicia,  "  that, 
until   that    unfortunate   day,    we    never    knew 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  283 

Charlotte  to  be  guilty  of  anything  like  a  false- 
hood. I  fear  that  1  have  been  too  hasty,  and 
have  used  her  very  ill.  Indeed — I  confess  it 
was  a  hard  trial  to  part  in  such  a  manner  from 
one  whom  I  had  loved  so  long — but  what  could 
I  do  ?  How  could  I  believe  what  was  contrary 
to  the  evidence  of  my  own  senses  ?  Yet,  last 
night,  I  had  a  clear  proof  that  they  are  not  to 
be  depended  upon,  since  they  contradict  each 
other.  I  felt  him  support  me — I  heard  his 
voice — and  yet  I  could  not  see  him  !  And  then 
that  strange  business  of  your's  too  !  I  declare 
I  am  terrified,  and  quite  miserable  !  Can  it  be 
possible  that  we  are  all  three  afflicted  with  some 
species  of  insanity  ?  I  know  the  nerves  are  very 
strange  things,  and  we  have  read  and  heard 
many  strange  tales  about  hypochondriacs  ;  but 
then  they  have  always  been  weak  and  elderly 
people,  whereas  all  three  of  us  are  young,  and 
seldom  know  what  it  is  to  have  anything  the 
matter  with  us.  At  all  events,  I  cannot  be 
easy  till  I  have  seen  Charlotte  Read — and  so  if 
you  will  go  with  me,  we  will  beg  papa  to  let  us 
have  the  carriage  to-day,  and  go  to  Clapham, 


284  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLExMAN. 

for  I  am  sure  she  is  come  home  before  now,  as 
she  and  Mary  Williams  never  were  very  parti- 
cular friends." 

"  I  shall  be  most  glad  to  accompany  you," 
replied  Emily,  "  for  to  acknowledge  the  truth,  I 
have  been  very  uneasy  myself  since  that  strange 
affair  of  the  music-book,  though  I  determined 
never  to  mention  it  to  you  again,  because  I 
wished  not  to  interrupt  your  h-appiness." 

The  two  friends  then  made  their  little  prepa- 
rations for  the  intended  visit  and  reconciliation, 
and  mutually  agreed  that,  as  they  had  been  in 
error,  it  was  their  duty  to  ask  Charlotte's  pardon. 

When  tlieir  request  was  made  at  breakfast, 
it  was  immediately  granted  by  Mr.  Storer,  who 
said  the  ride  would  do  Ally  good,  and  that  he 
could  go  to  Sir  Marmaduke's  very  well  in  a 
hack.  "But  if  you  Ve  late,  girls,"  he  added, 
"  and  don**!  suppose  you  'll  be  very  early,  Peter 
must  come  back  over  Westminster  bridge  — 
take  me  up  in  Harley-street — save  me  an  hour 
or  two,  mayhap,  besides  coach-hire — excuse  to 
get  away — don't  like  late  hours." 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  285 

When  the  fair  friends  reached  Clapham,  they 
found  that  Cliarlotte  had  returned  from  Rut- 
landshire two  days  before.  The  meeting  was 
of  course  extremely  ceremonious  and  stiff  on 
the  part  of  the  recently-discarded  very  parti- 
cular friend.  She  opened  her  large  black  eyes, 
as  if  with  especial  wonder  at  the  unexpected 
honour  conferred  upon  her,  and  with  corre- 
spondent distance  and  dignity  begged  her 
visiters  to  be  seated. 

Poor  Emily  sat  down  and  burst  into  tears ; 
but  Alicia,  whose  performances  in  that  line 
were  not  very  frequent,  directly  asked  Miss 
Read  if  she  could  possibly  forgive  her  after  the 
unworthy  treatment  which  she  had  experienced. 

"  Yes,"  replied  Charlotte,  magnanimously. 
"  I  knew  that  you  were  under  some  strange 
misconception  concerning  me,  and  I  told  you 
so;  and  it  gives  me  infinite  delight  to  find  that 
you  have  discovered  your  error.  But,""  she 
continued,  in  a  somewhat  more  measured  tone,, 
as  if  conscious  of  her  own  superiority,  "  you 
will  doubtless  have  the  goodness  to  explain  the 


286  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

cause  of  that  very   sudden    and  extraordinary 
change    somewhat   more    explicitly    than    when 


"  Spare  me  !"  exclaimed  Alicia  ;  "  I  confess 
myself  to  have  been  altogether  wrong.  My 
conduct,  after  so  many  years  of  tried  friendship, 
was  utterly  unjust  towards  you,  and  I  beg 
your  pardon.  I  ask  your  forgiveness ;  and  if 
you  knew  how  sincerely  I  regret  what  has 
passed,  I  am  sure  you  would  not  hesitate  to 
grant  it.'*'' 

"  Nor  tvill  I  i**"*  exclaimed  Miss  Read ;  "  you 
have  said  quite  enough,  Alicia.  When  I  left 
you,  it  was  more  in  pity  than  in  anger,  I  assure 
you  ;  but  I  felt  that  the  step  was  necessary  for 
your  peace  of  mind,  as  well  as  for  my  own 
justification.'''' 

The  next  moment  the  two  very  particular 
friends  were  in  each  other"'s  arms,  and  the  eyes 
of  neither  were  perfectly  dry  :  and  then  it  was 
poor  Emily'^s  turn  ;  but  as  she  was  unable  to 
speak  audibly  upon  the  subject,  she  compen- 
sated by  the  affectionate  warmth  of  her  em- 
braces,   and    was    equally    again   received    into 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  287 

favour  by  the  now  happy  and  generous-minded 
Charlotte.  So  in  a  hw  minutes  the  three 
friends  were  sitting  side  by  side,  and  hand  in 
hand,  upon  the  same  sofa,  as  confident  and  con- 
fiding in  each  other  as  before  the  commence- 
ment of  their  invisible  disasters. 

"  I  shall  insist  upon  your  spending  the  day 
with  me,"  said  Charlotte. 

"  But  your  mother,  your  father,  and  your 
brother,"  observed  Alicia,  "  perhaps  it  would 
scarcely  be  agreeable  to  them,  after  what  has 
passed  ?" 

"  Make  your  mind  easy  on  that  score,"  re- 
plied Miss  Read  ;  "  they  know  nothing  about 
the  matter.  I  was  sure  that  all  must  be  ex- 
plained before  long  :  and  I  knew  the  goodness 
of  your  heart  and  of  Emily's  too ;  and  so  kept 
the  whole  of  this  foolish  business  to  myself. 
So  that  is  all  settled,  and  we  've  got  beds  for 
you  if  you  will  remain  where  you  are." 

'*  Generous  Charlotte !"  exclaimed  Alicia, 
again  embracing  her  recovered  friend,  "  how 
could  I,  even  for  a  moment,  be  blinded  to  your 
excellence  ?     Yes.     We  will  accept  your  kind 


288  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

invitation,  for  I  have  much  to  say  to  you. 
Strange  things  have  happened,  so  strange^  in- 
deed, that  I  can  hardly  be  offended  if  you 
doubt  what  I  have  to  tell.  Oh  !  I  never  kneAv 
the  real  value  of  a  true  friend  before  !  If  you 
bad  refused  to  be  reconciled  to  me,  I  know  not 
what  would  have  become  of  me  ;  for  there  is 
no  other  person  to  whom  I  could  have  applied 
for  advice." 

Then,  after  a  proper  preface,  followed  a  par- 
ticular statement  of  tlie  occurrence  of  the  pre- 
ceding evening,  and  ICmily  related  the  myste- 
rious movements  of  the  music-book. 

Charlotte  hstened  with  great  attention  ;  but 
was  unable  to  arrive  at  any  other  conclusion 
than  that  they  must,  all  three,  at  different  pe- 
riods, have  been  attacked  by  an  extraordinary 
nervous  affection. 

"  You  know,  my  dears,'*''  she  said,  "  that 
these  nervous  disorders  are  very  strange  things, 
and  we  must  not  pretend  to  judge  of  them  by 
our  former  experience.  Who  ever  heard  of  a 
school  girl  fainting  away  ?  And  yet  we  know 
that  many  grown  up  persons  do.     I '11  just  tell 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  289 

you  what  happened  to  me  the  other  day  in  Rut- 
landshire. There  was  a  young  gentleman  took 
it  into  his  head,  or  heart,  as  he  said,  to  make  me 
an  offer :  and,  would  you  believe  it  !  although 
I  had  not  the  smallest  hesitation  in  refusing 
him,  I  declare  the  thing  came  upon  me  so 
suddenly,  that  it  gave  me  quite  a  turn,  and  I 
was  positively  ill.  Now,  if  such  a  thing  had 
happened  some  years  ago,  it  would  only  have 
furnished  me  with  something  to  laugh  at,  and 
perhaps  I  might  have  boxed  his  ears.  As  it 
was,  his  apparent  earnestness  affected  me  in 
a  very  different  manner,  and  made  me  abso- 
lutely nervous  and  low-spirited,  for  he  really 
is  a  very  worthy  good  sort  of  young  man 
enough,  and  I  could  not  help  pitying  him  for 
having  been  so  imprudent  as  to  make  a  decla- 
ration to  a  person  of  whom  he  knew  so  little  as 
he  did  of  me." 

The  introduction  of  such  a  subject  naturally 
led  the  friends  astray  from  the  main  point  in 
debate.  The  various  qualifications  of  the  said 
young  gentleman  were  canvassed  —  tolerably 
positive   opinions   were   given   relative   to  man- 

VOL.    I.  O 


290  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

kind  in  general — and  gradually  the  conversation 
veered  round,  till  the  whole  of  its  interest  set- 
tled upon  Bernard  Audrey. 

When  the  head-knocking,  arm-pinching  affair 
at  Maxdean  was  referred  to,  Charlotte  avowed 
that  she  had  frequently  felt  much  perplexed 
when  thinking  of  it;  but,  after  what  her  friends 
had  so  positively  stated,  resolved  to  believe 
that  she  must  have  been  knocked  down  by  the 
branch  of  a  tree. 

The  debate  was  interrupted  by  visiters, 
and  then  again  by  dinner ;  but,  it  was  re- 
newed in  the  evening,  and  carried  on  till  mid- 
night, when  after  a  multitude  of  comparisons, 
recollections  of  trivial  occurrences,  and  above 
all,  the  circumstance  of  his  having  been  near, 
if  not  present,  at  all  the  unaccountable  scenes, 
it  was  agreed,  "  nem.  con.''''  that  there  must  be 
something  extraordinary  and  mysterious  about 
our  hero. 

It  was  settled  that  Charlotte  should  return, 
and  spend  a  few  days  with  her  friends  in  Rus- 
sell  Square,    for    the    purpose  of  assisting,  or 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  291 

rather  of  taking  the  lead,  in  watching  the 
conduct  of  Alicia''s  lover. 

On  the  following  day,  therefore,  they  arrived 
at  Mr.  Storer"'s  in  time  to  dress  for  dinner;  and 
at  the  usual  hour  were  at  table  with  the  mer- 
chant and  his  lady.  Sir  William  and  Bernard 
Audrey,  and  an  elderly,  stout,  weather-beaten, 
plain-spoken  gentleman,  named  Harding,  the 
captain  of  an  East  Indiaman. 

Mr.  Storer  was  in  high  spirits.  The  canvass- 
ing for  his  friend  Sir  Marmaduke  Bonus  had 
gone  on  gloriously  during  the  morning ;  and  he 
felt  not  a  little  pleased  to  see  Miss  Read,  who 
was  a  great  favourite  with  him,  reinstated  in  his 
daughter's  confidence. 

All  the  party  seemed  perfectly  at  ease  except 
our  hero,  who  appeared  dull,  and  occasionally 
absent.  When  he  had  accosted  Alicia  in  the 
drawing-room,  and  expressed  his  anxiety  re- 
specting her  health,  and  a  hope  that  she  had 
perfectly  recovered  from  her  late  attack,  she 
had  answered  briefly,  "  perfectly,''''  while  her 
eyes  were  fixed  upon  him  with  a  strange,  cold, 

o  2 


S92  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

scrutinizing  expression,  very  different  from  any 
thing  which  he  had  ever  before  observed,  and 
certainly  very  different  from  what  any  lover 
would  wish  to  see  in  those  of  his  mistress. 

It  was  neither  the  time  nor  place  for  inquiry 
or  explanation.  Dinner  was  soon  announced  ; 
and  when  seated  between  Alicia  and  the  East 
India  captain,  he  became  sensible  that  the  dark 
eyes  of  Miss  Read,  as  she  faced  him,  were 
strangely  expressive.  Even  those  of  Emily 
ever  and  anon  shot  a  furtive  glance  towards 
him. 

The  power  of  female  eyes  is  too  well  known 
and  too  proverbial  to  be  dwelt  upon.  He  clear- 
ly read  that  there  was  something  wrong,  and  en- 
deavoured to  surmise  what  it  could  be.  Was  it 
possible  that  they  could  have  guessed  his  secret.'' 
He  decided  that  it  was  of  too  improbable  a 
nature  to  enter  into  their  imaginations.  Could 
they  have  heard  of  his  nocturnal  adventures  ? 
That  again  was  unlikely,  as  they  were  known 
only  to  his  uncle  and  himself. 

But  the  man  who  has  a  dangerous  secret  to 
keep,  is  ever  suspicious  ;  and  his  uneasiness  be- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  293 

came  so  evident  that  it  was  observed  at  length 
by  Mr.  Storer,  who  exclaimed, 

"  Madeira  with  you,  Bernard  !  —  Down  in 
the  mouth  to-day  —  eh?  Day's  absence  — 
humph  !  glad  of  one  by  and  by.  Give  Ally 
some  wine  —  do  her  good.**' 

Alicia  went  through  the  little  ceremony  as 
courteously  as  usual,  and  our  liero,  vexed  at 
having  attracted  attention,  rallied,  entered  into 
conversation,  and  resolved  to  conduct  himself 
precisely  as  usual.  In  this  endeavour  however, 
he  somewhat  overstepped  the  mark,  and  a  sig- 
nificant glance  was  exchanged  between  the 
young  ladies,  on  observing  his  suddenly  reco- 
vered spirits.  At  the  dessert  he  made  himself 
extremely  active,  and  was  in  the  act  of  offering 
some  fruit  to  Alicia,  when  she  suddenly  ex- 
claimed, 

"  Bless  me  Bernard  !  What  have  you  been 
doing  with  your  hand  ?'''' 

His  neighbour,  the  captain,  cast  his  eyes  in 
the  direction  indicated,  and  as  our  hero  held 
a  plate  of  wall-fruit,  unceremoniously  turned 
back  the  cuff  of  his  coat  sleeve,  and  observed 


294f  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

bluntly,  "  If  I'd  met  you  in  any  other  com- 
pany, I'd  have  sworn  you'd  spent  last  night  in 
irons,  for  those  are  exactly  the  marks  of  hand- 
cuffs." 

The  abruptness  of  this  discovery  and  remark 
threw  Bernard  entirely  off  his  guard  ;  and  how- 
ever unheroical  such  weakness  may  appear,  he 
felt  that  his  face  was  suffused  with  a  crimson 
glow,  which,  of  course,  was  not  unobserved  by 
the  watchful  and  suspicious  young  ladies. 

Sir  William,  who  appeared  not  to  notice  what 
was  passing,  now  adroitly  called  off  the  captain's 
attention  by  some  inquiry  relative  to  the  East 
India  trade.  Alicia  was  too  much  agitated  by 
what  she  had  just  heard  to  venture  a  repetition 
of  her  question  ;  and  in  a  short  time  afterwards 
the  ladies  retired. 

''  Well,  my  dear  Charlotte,"  said  Alicia, 
"  what  do  you  think  ?  There  certainly  is 
something  very  strange  about  him.  Is  there 
not  ?  Pray  tell  me,  without  reserve,  what  your 
opinion  is." 

*'  I  must  then  candidly  acknowledge,"  replied 
Charlotte,  "  that  I  do  perceive  a  very  consider- 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  295 

able  change,  both  in  Mr.  Audrey's  manners  and 
appearance,  since  we  were  together  at  Maxdean ; 
and  to  say  the  truth,  it  is  such  as  I  think  I 
should  have  noticed  with  great  surprise  even  if 
you  had  not  made  any  communication  to  me  on 
the  subject.  He  used  to  be  so  perfectly  free 
and  unembarrassed,  and  so  open  and  careless, 
that  you  know  we  all  three  used  to  feel  quite  at 
home  with  him,  and  for  my  own  part,  I  declare 
that  I  treated  him  with  as  much  familiarity  as 
if  he  had  been  my  own  brother ;  but  now  I 
should  just  as  soon  think  of  romping  with  the 
Great  Mogul.'' 

"  I  am  not  surprised  at  what  you  say,"  ob- 
served Alicia  with  a  sigh  ;  "  I  declare  I  was 
myself  quite  frightened  just  now,  when  his 
countenance  changed  so  at  Captain  Harding"'s 
remark.  I  really  thought  he  was  going  to  make 
a  quarrel  of  it  before  us,  and  yet  but  the  other 
day  he  would  have  been  the  first  to  join  in  a 
laugh  at  the  oddity  of  the  observation.  I  don't 
know  what  to  think  of  it,  but  there  must  be 
some  cause  for  these  alterations." 

"  I  wonder  what   he   can   have  been  doing 


296  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

with  his  hands,""  said  Emily  :  ''  he  did  not  give 
you  any  answer,  if  you  recollect." 

"  I  will  ask  him  abruptly,"  said  Charlotte, 
"  for  although  I  do  not  conceive  that  that  can 
be  a  matter  of  much  importance,  there  ought  to 
be  no  secrets  now.  And  you  must  summon 
your  resolution,  Alicia,  and  be  very  plain  and 
candid  with  him,  and  tell  him  that  you  have 
observed  the  great  change  in  him  lately,  and 
ask  him  at  once,  directly  and  plainly,  what  the 
reason  of  it  is.  Situated  as  you  are,  there  must 
be  no  mysteries  between  you  ;  and  if  he  should 
attempt  any  prevarication  or  concealment,  my 
advice  is,  that,  however  painful  it  may  be  to 
your  own  feelings,  you  should  at  once " 

''What  can  possibly  be  the  meaning  of  this.'*'" 
exclaimed  Mrs.  Storer,  who  had  been  amusing 
herself  by  looking  over  the  newspapers  at  one 
fireplace  while  the  young  people  were  chat- 
ting at  the  other.  "  It  must  refer  to  Sir  Wil- 
liam Audrey  !  Do,  pray,  my  dear  girls,  come 
and  look,  and  see  what  you  can  make  of  it  !" 

The  three  friends  hurried  to  the  farther  end 
of  the   drawing-room,  and  Charlotte   took   the 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  297 

paper  and  read  an  account  of  our  hero's  exami- 
nation, under  the  name  of  Burrows,  at  Bow 
Street.  The  reporter  had  given  a  very  dark 
colouring  to  the  charge  up  to  the  time  when 
the  prisoner  de'sired  to  speak  to  the  magistrate 
in  private.  The  paragraph  then  ran  as  follows : 
— "  Such  a  request  from  a  ruffian  against  whom 
the  evidence  brought  forward  seemed  perfectly 
conclusive,  created  much  surprise,  which  in- 
creased not  a  little  when  the  worthy  magistrate 
thought  fit  to  admit  this  violator  of  the  conse- 
crated depositories  of  the  departed  to  a  secret 
interview.  Certainly  the  fellow  was  well,  and 
even  fashionably  dressed,  and  moreover  was 
young,  rather  tall,  and  good-looking.  We 
much  question  whether  a  poor  creature  in  rags 
would  have  obtained  a  similar  indulgence.  We 
have  no  wish  to  cast  any  reflections  on  the  wor- 
thy magistrate,  but  we  have  been  given  to  be- 
lieve, and  are  inclined  to  imagine,  that  the  laws 
were  provided  equally  for  the  poor  and  the  rich, 
and  that  the  moral  guilt  of  an  offender  is  by  no 
means  dependent  upon  the  sum  of  money  whicli 
he  may  happen  to  have  in  his  pocket  or  at  hi^ 

o5 


298  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

command,  nor  upon  the  appearance  which  he 
may  contrive  to  make  by  the  fruits  of  his  delin- 
quencies. Under  these  circumstances  we  have 
no  doubt  that  the  reader  will  be  equally  asto- 
nished with  ourselves  to  learn  that  a  fellow,  on 
whom  the  usual  implements  of  picking  pockets 
and  housebreaking  were  found,  together  with  a 
variety  of  watches  and  snuff-boxes,  and  who 
was  taken  in  the  act  of  running  away  with  a 
corpse,  was,  after  this  secret  investigation,  al- 
most immediately  liberated,  as  we  were  told,  in 
consequence  of  the  interference  of  a  wealthy 
East  Indian,  on  whom  his  Majesty  some  months 
since  conferred  the  honour  of  knighthood,  and 
who  happened,  fortunately  for  the  delinquent, 
to  be  lodging  at  an  hotel  in  Covent  Garden."" 

The  following  observations  appeared  in  a 
subsequent  column. 

"  Under  the  head  '  Bow  Street'  our  readers 
will  find  an  account  of  a  somewhat  extraordi- 
nary transaction,  which  indeed  appeared  so 
much  so  to  us,  that  we  have  thought  it  our 
duty  to  make  farther  inquiry  into  the  particu- 
lars, and  find  that  our  reporter  has  stated  all 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  299 

that  occurred  with  his  usual  correctness.  We 
have  no  hesitation  in  saying,  that  the  pubhc 
have  a  right  to  expect  some  explanation  of 
those  important  reasons  which  alone  could  jus- 
tify the  release  of  such  a  miscreant.  In  the 
mean  while  we  warn  the  parties  that  we  have  an 
eye  on  their  movements,  as  they  will  be  con- 
vinced when  we  state  that  Sir  W  *  *  A  *  * 
was  seen,  not  many  minutes  after,  walking  arm 
in  arm  with  the  hero  of  the  scene,  not  a  hun- 
dred miles  from  the  Hummums.  Can  this 
affair  have  any  relation  to  the  rumour  of  an 
expected  vacancy  in  a  certain  assembly,  by  the 
resignation  of  an  honourable  member  for  a  cer- 
tain borough  in  Cornwall,  an  event  which,  we 
are  told,  may  be  anticipated  should  a  certain 
candidate  be  successful  in  obtaining  the  object 
of  his  ambition  among  the  kings  of  Leadenhall 
Street  ?  If  we  speak  in  parables  to  the  unini- 
tiated, the  parties  concerned  know  well  what  we 
allude  to,  and  let  them  hesitate  before  they 
again  presume  to  interfere  with  the  course  of 
justice,  or  in  their  secret  divans  venture  to  traf- 
fic with  the  rights  of  the  people  of  England. 


300  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

We  close  this  article  for  the  present  by  merely 
observing,  that  we  understand  the  name  of 
Burrows  is  common  in  Cornwall,  and  if  our  sus- 
picions are  correct,  this  will  be  another  proof  of 
the  absolute  necessity  of  parliamentary  reform." 
The  fair  cabinet  council  were  discussing;  these 
paragraphs  when  the  gentleman  made  their  ap- 
pearance, and  very  shortly  afterwards  Miss 
Read  contrived  to  seat  herself  next  to  our  hero, 
and  repeat  Alicia's  question  relative  to  the 
marks  upon  his  hands.  The  effect  was  now 
very  diflPerent  from  that  previously  produced,  as 
he  had  prepared  a  reply  in  the  interim.  With- 
out the  smallest  hesitation  he  said  carelessl}", 
"  It  was  a  foolish  affair.  I  dined  with  a  party 
of  college  friends  yesterday,  and  we  amused 
ourselves  by  lifting  weights,  and  I  twisted  a 
rope  round  my  wrist,  in  order  to  enable  me  to 
raise  up  more  than  I  could  with  my  hands." 

Sir  William  was  near  enough   to  hear  this 

question  and  reply,  though  he  appeared   to  be 

engaged  in  reading  the  newspaper  which  had  so 

recently  occupied  the  attention  of  the  ladies. 

"  Got   the  wrong  paper.  Sir  William,"  said 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  301 

Mr.  Storer.  "  Here's  one — riglit  sort.  Like 
to  see  both  sides — see  what  *s  doing  then — ch  ? 
No  use  looking  always  one  way.  Look  to  wind- 
ward as  well  as  ahead — eh,  captain  ?'* 

"  Why,  yes,  sir,*"  observed  the  sailor  ;  **  no- 
body can  accuse  you  of  not  having  kept  your 
weather  eye  open." 

*'  Ha,  ha  i^  chuckled  the  merchant ;  "  not  a 
bad  hit  that.  Master  Harding.  Never  got  much 
to  windward  of  you  though  —  eh  ?" 

"  Merely  because  you  never  tried,"  replied 
the  captain.  *'  1  should  have  cut  a  poor  figure 
if  you  had.  It 's  been  all  plain  sailing  by  the 
chart  with  us;  and,  thank  God  and  my  owners, 
I  've  no  right  to  grumble.  Let  us  have  luck  for 
about  three  more  trips,  and  I  don't  say  but 
Jack  Harding  may  coil  up.  There 's  a  snug 
house  that  I  \e  my  eye  on  at  Blackbeath,  the 
lease  of  which  will  be  out  about  that  time,  and 
I  have  the  promise  of  a  refusal.  Commands  a 
fine  view  of  the  river." 

"  Ay,  ay,  all  right,"  said  Mr.  Storer.  "  Old 
coachman  likes  smack  o'  the  whip.  Come  and 
see   you.     Good   madeira,   eh?  —  sure  of  that. 


302  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Found  something  interesting  in  the  paper,  Sir 
William  ?" 

"  No  news,"  replied  the  knight,  "  but  here 's 
a  paragraph  about  a  Bow  Street  examination, 
which  is  printed  too  small  for  me  to  read  plea- 
santly at  night,  and  so,  if  you  '11  give  me  leave, 
I  '11  put  the  paper  in  my  pocket,  and  run  it  over 
in  the  morning." 

"  Ay,  ay,  do  so,"  said  Mr.  Storer.  "  Droll 
dogs  those  reporters — make  up  a  story — don't 
stick  at  trifles.  Too  bad  sometimes,  though. 
Ever  had  up  at  Bow  Street,  captain  ?  Dare 
say  you  have — not  lately  though,  I  '11  be  bound. 
Cruised  about  in  your  time,  though  —  eh  .?" 

"  Every  dog  has  his  day,"  replied  the  cap- 
tain. "  I  got  into  a  row  at  the  theatre  once, 
and  hang  me  if  ever  I  could  find  out  what  it 
was  about.  Too  much  wine  was  at  the  bottom 
of  all,  I  believe.  Lugged  out  a  one  pound 
note  for  the  poor  next  morning,  and  paid  a  few 
shillings  besides,  and  there  was  an  end  of  it. 
It's  twenty  years  ago,  that.  Heigho !  how 
time  passes !" 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  303 

"  Sad  dog  in  your  time !"  said  Mr.  Storer. 
"  Sailors  ashore — cat  in  a  pantry.  Idle  man, 
devil's  playfellow — don't  know  what  to  be  at — 
eh?  All's  fish  that  comes  to  net.  Times  mend- 
ed now,  though.  Rows  sometimes  at  Oxford, 
— eh,  Bernard  ?  Know  you  were  never  at 
Bow  Street.  Proctors  got  hold  of  you  some- 
times, though — eh  ?  Needn't  say  anything — see 
it  in  your  face — nothing  very  bad,  dare  say — "''' 
And  then  perceiving  that  his  random  shot  had 
put  our  hero  quite  out  of  countenance,  the 
good-tempered,  but  not  unobservant  merchant, 
passed  on  to  some  other  subject ;  and  after  a 
little  more  unimportant  chat,  the  party  separat- 
ed for  the  night. 

As  they  drove  home  to  Covent  Garden,  there 
was  an  unusual  stiffness,  and  an  air  of  thought- 
fulness,  about  Sir  William,  which  perplexed  and 
rendered  his  nephew  uneasy. 

"  I  fear,  my  dear  uncle,"  said  he,  when  they 
were  seated  before  the  fire,  "  that  you  have 
overfatigued  yourself." 

"  Why  should  you  think  so,  sir  ?"  asked  the 
knight,  somewhat  sternly. 


304  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

*'  Because  you  have  scarcely  spoken  all  the 
way  from  Russell  Square,""  replied  Bernard. 

"  You  know  that  I  dislike  talking,*"  said  Sir 
William,  "  when  one  is  rattling  over  the  stones 
at  a  rate  which  prevents  more  than  three  parts 
of  what  is  said  from  being  audible.  But  allow 
me  to  ask  whether  you  are  not  aware  of  some 
of/ier  reason  sufficient  to  make  me  more  thought- 
ful than  usual  .f^" 

Our  hero  replied  in  the  negative  ;  and  then 
his  uncle,  with  extreme  seriousness  of  manner, 
thus  addressed  him  : 

''  You  have  struck  me  a  heavy  blow,  sir,  this 
evening.  You  and  I  are  alone  in  the  world,  the 
sole  individuals  remaining  of  a  family  of  unsul- 
lied name.  In  you  I  looked  forward  for  the 
revival  of  its  former  dignity  and  importance, 
and,  till  now,  I  had  no  reason  to  doubt " 

•'  My  dearest  uncle,"  exclaimed  Bernard, 
"  what  can  I  have  done  ?'^ 

"  It  is  an  evil  sign  that  you  are  not  conscious 
of  it  !''  groaned  Sir  William.  "  But,  hear  me. 
You  know  my  detestation  of  every  species  of 
falsehood.     You  have  heard  me  say,  and  now 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEiMAN.  305 

I  repeat,  that  I  never  knew  any  man,  who  was 
given  to  telling  lies,  worthy  of  the  smallest  con- 
fidence. My  invariable  rule  from  youth  up  to 
this  day  has  been,  whenever  an  individual  has 
given  a  specimen  of  his  facility  in  the  art  of  de- 
ceit, from  that  moment  to  drop  his  acquaint- 
ance ;  and,  sir,  harsh  as  it  may  sound  in  your 
ears,  not  one  single  instance  has  occurred  in  the 
whole  course  of  my  life,  in  which  I  have  not  had 
some  occasion,  at  a  future  period,  to  congratu- 
late myself  upon  adhering  strictly  to  this  rule  ; 
knowing,  as  I  do  from  experience,  that  the 
fabricators  of  plausible  and  false  accounts  in  tri- 
fling matters,  are  not  to  be  depended  on  in  con- 
cerns of  moment  :  —  knowing  this,  sir,  judge 
what  I  must  feel  at  finding  you  among  the 
number  V 

Bernard  had  listened  with  increasinor  amta- 
tion.  Many  a  time  before  had  his  uncle  and 
he  conversed  upon  the  same  topic  ;  but  always 
hitherto  with  a  perfect  accordance  of  sentiment, 
for  it  had  been  his  rule  likewise  to  break  off 
all  intimacy  with  those  in  whom  he  discerned  a 
propensity  to  the  low  vice  of  lying,  and,  till  a 


306  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

certain  period,  as  has  been  previously  stated, 
his  friends  might  boldly  say  of  him,  that  "  he 
had  never  been  known  to  tell  an  untruth,  even 
in  jest." 

Something  has  been  already  said  of  the 
mental  alarm  produced  by  his  first  lapse,  as 
likewise  of  the  uncomfortable  feelings  excited 
by  several  which  followed :  but,  such  is  the 
force  of  habit,  that  when  he  gave  a  false  reason 
to  Miss  Read  for  the  marks  on  his  hands,  he 
felt  not  the  smallest  compunction,  and  the  ac- 
count was  given  with  the  ease  and  nonchalance 
of  a  practised  adept. 

This  it  was  that  so  deeply  impressed  Sir 
William,  who,  in  reply  to  something  which  our 
hero  stammered  forth  about  the  "  trifling  na- 
ture of  the  thing,"  and  that  "  it  could  not  do 
any  harm,"  and  being  **  obliged  to  say  some- 
thing," sternly  observed,  "  The  words,  sir,  are 
of  little  consequence.  The  fact  which  distresses 
me,  is  1/0H7'  aberration  from  that  strict  line  of 
truth  which  I  never  before  doubted  always 
governed  your  words.  Your  attempted  de- 
fence on    such   paltry  grounds  moves  me  still 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  307 

more.  I  feel  utterly  unable,"*'  he  continued, 
with  deep  emotion,  "  utterly  unable  to  converse 
longer  upon  this  painful  subject.  Till  this 
hour,  rather  would  I  have  confided  in  your 
simple  assertion,  than  on  the  oaths  and  bonds 
of  other  men  —  but  we  must  sleep  upon  it. 
Farewell,  sir,  for  the  night !"  and  with  these 
words,  he  retired  to  his  chamber,  leaving  our 
hero  to  devise  what  means  he  might  for  extri- 
cating himself  from  this  fresh  embarrassment. 


808  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

As  Bernard  lay  restless  on  his  pillow,  he 
upbraided  himself  for  not  having  revealed  to 
his  uncle,  in  the  first  instance,  the  nature  of 
the  extraordinary  gift  which  had  been  bestow- 
ed upon  him.  "  But  //o?^;,"  thought  he,  "  such 
a  step  would  be  downright  madness,  since  it 
must  be  followed  by  a  confession  of  the  thou- 
sand falsities  which  this  accursed  power  has  led 
me  to  be  guilty  of." 

Then,  as  usual,  whenever  he  had  brought 
himself  into  any  difficulty  by  the  abuse  of  his 
invisible  gift,  he  uttered  imprecations  against 
the  giver,  who  had  so  readily  come  forward  to 
grant  his  wish,  in  consequence  of  his  own  par- 
ticular desire,  nine  times  repeated. 

This    was     certainly    extremely    ungrateful 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  309 

towards  the  pallid  auricular  anointer ;  but 
somewhat  similar  is  the  manner  in  which  the 
givers  of  extraordinary  gifts  among  mankind 
are  too  generally  rewarded. 

In  the  morning,  while  our  hero  was  waiting 
for  his  uncle's  appearance  at  breakfast,  he 
found  the  account  of  his  own  Bow  Street  affair 
in  the  paper  of  the  day,  copied  verbatim  from 
that  of  the  preceding  evening,  and  marked  and 
acknowledged  accordingly.  But  as  the  Jour- 
nals were  of  opposite  factions,  that  of  the 
mornino;  contained  the  followinof  addition  : 

''Our  readers  will  find,  under  our  usual  head 
of  police  reports,  an  extract  from  one  of  our 
contemporaries,  with  whom,  notwithstanding 
that  we  differ  '  toto  calo''  in  important  matters, 
we  have  occasionally  been  content  to  join  in  a 
good-humoured  way,  and  laugh  at  the  exposure 
of  the  ridiculous  pretensions  of  barbers'  clerks 
and  men  milliners  to  the  character  of  '  gentle- 
men."*  In  the  present  instance,  however,  we 
cannot  but  feel  unmingled  disgust  at  the  base- 
ness of  that  mind,  which,  blinded  by  party 
spirit,  could  thus  perversely  construe  an  act  of 


310  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

genuine  and  disinterested  philanthropy  into 
a  charge  of  interfering  with  the  course  of  jus- 
tice,' &c.  We  have  no  personal  acquaintance 
with  Sir  W  *  *  A  *  *,  but  we  know  his  cha- 
racter well,  and  that  it  is  '  above  reproach  ^ 
and  we  can  likewise  tell  our  soi-disant  well- 
informed  contemporary,  that  '  the  miscreant,' 
as  he  outrageously  styles  the  person  so  ridicu- 
lously accused,  was  no  more  to  be  suspected  of 
*  body  snatching '  than  the  Archbishop  of  Can- 
terbury. As  for  what  is  said  about '  a  certain 
borough  and  so  forth,'  we  merely  remark,  that 
the  characters  of  the  individuals  alluded  to 
form  more  than  a  sufficient  guarantee  for  the 
preservation  of  what  is  so  ridiculously  called, 
'  The  rights  of  the  people  of  England  :"*  but 
with  which,  in  reality,  they  have  no  more 
concern  than  the  man  in  the  moon.  The  term 
of  '  Parliamentary  reform,^  stuck  at  the  end  of 
the  precious  article  referred  to,  is  evidently 
a  '  clap-trap,'  an  '  ad  captandum  valgus,' 
expected  to  tell  well  in  the  low  beer-shops  and 
public-houses,  by  the  frequenters  of  which,  we 
understand,   the  falling  paper  alluded  to  is  now 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  311 

principally  supported.  We  now  give  the  whole 
of  the  'mysterious  affair"*  in  these  words.  A 
respectable  countryman,  a  tenant  of  Sir  W  *  * 
A  *  *  came  to  town  the  day  before  yesterday, 
and  having  lost  his  way,  and  seeing  a  hackney- 
coach  apparently  imengaged,  entered  it  without 
ceremony,  and  was  immediately  taken  into 
custody  on  suspicion  of  being  connected  with 
the  persons  by  whom  it  was  really  hired,  and 
who,  it  seems,  had  got  notice  that  the  officers 
were  on  the  watch,  and  had  therefore  decamped 
leaving  behind  them  their  booty,  and  dropping 
a  bag  of  picklocks,  &c.  The  '  variety  of 
watches  and  snuff-boxes'  turn  out  to  be  two  of 
each  kind,  one  being  for  the  bearer's  own  use, 
and  the  others  purchased  during  the  day  on 
commission  for  the  unlucky  countryman's 
friends.  When  brought  to  the  office,  a  laudable 
delicacy  prevented  him  from  hazarding  the 
name  of  his  landlord  in  the  presence  of  such  a 
motley  group  as  that  by  which  he  was  sur- 
rounded ;  but  when  the  worthy  magistrate  con- 
sented to  hear  what  he  had  to  say,  he  imme- 
diately requested  that  Sir  W  *  *  A*  *  might 


312  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

be  sent  for,  and  the  testimony  of  the  worthy 
knight  was  such  as  would  have  rendered  any 
farther  detention  of  the  innocent  man  a  matter 
of  folly  and  perversity  on  the  part  of  the 
magistrate.  This  is  the  plain  simple  story, 
and  if  our  contemporary  is  not  satisfied  with 
it,  we  refer  him  to  the  individual  himself, 
who  came  to  London  on  business,  which  he 
has  now  transacted,  and  returns  by  the  coach 
this  day  to  his  own  dwelling  at  A in  Nor- 
thamptonshire. We  are  really  ashamed  of  the 
length  into  which  this  subject  has  drawn  us, 
but  we  feel  an  honest  indignation  at  these 
wanton  attacks  upon  private  character,  and  it 
is  high  time  that  the  flimsy  pretensions  of  a 
certain  party  to  superior  sources  of  intelligence 
should  be  exposed.""* 

The  whole  of  what  he  read  was  extremely 
annoying  to  our  hero,  and  much  was  per- 
fectly unintelligible.  The  latter  may  be  ex- 
plained to  the  reader  in  a  few  words,  by  stating 
that  George  Burrows,  the  butcher,  in  conse- 
quence of  the  sudden  increase  of  his  capital, 
had   resolved  to    extend  his  trade  by   sending 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  313 

meat  up  to  the  London  market,  where  it  was 
of  course  necessary  for  him  to  come,  in  order 
to  make  some  previous  arrangement.  Accord- 
ingly he  mounted  the  coach,  in  the  interior  of 
which  sate  the  Reverend  Mr.  Kenemall,  who, 
very  naturally  for  him,  took  an  opportunity  of 
inquiring  what  his  parishioner's  business  might 
be  in  the  metropolis,  and  when  informed, 
he  expressed  his  approbation  of  such  indus- 
try, and  wished  him  success.  And  with  such 
valediction  they  separated  at  the  inn,  in 
Smithfield,  at  which  the  said  coach  put  up. 
On  the  following  day  the  rector  dined  with  a 
party  of  gentlemen  at  the  chambers  of  an  old 
college  friend,  then  residing  in  the  Temple;  and 
it  so  happened  that  he  sate  next  to  the  editor 
of  the  paper  from  which  we  have  just  quoted. 
The  apprehension  of  Burrows  as  a  resurrec- 
tionist was  spoken  of,  and  Mr.  Kenemall 
thought  he  knew  the  man,  but  when  the  cir- 
cumstance of  Sir  William  Audrey's  interference 
was  mentioned,  all  doubt  was  removed,  and  he 
stated  that  the  accused  was  a  parishioner  of  his, 
ignorant  of  the  ways  of  London,  whither  he  had 
VOL.  I.  4» 


314  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

come  on  private  business  —  that  he  was  per- 
fectly respectable  in  his  station,  a  tenant  on  the 
Audrey  estate — and  other  particulars  more  than 
sufficient  to  form  a  foundation  for  the  para- 
graph in  question. 

Bernard  had  just  finished  his  reading,  when 
Sir  William  made  his  appearance,  and  they 
went  to  breakfast ;  but,  as  it  regards  the  wor- 
thy knight's  manner,  or  what  he  said,  on  that 
particular  occasion,  we  feel  the  absolute  neces- 
sity of  being  very  brief,  not  because  what  he 
uttered  was  not  worth  repeating,  for  it  was 
most  excellent ;  but  partly  because  we  have 
given  his  sentiments  of  the  preceding  evening — 
and  'principally  as  we  fear  the  reader  might 
take  refuge,  by  "  skipping  "  from  the  infliction 
of  the  worthy  old  gentleman's  earnest  exhorta- 
tions and  advice  to  his  nephew,  the  sole  hope  of 
his  old  age  and  his  heir  elect. 

Be  it  imagined  then  that  the  uncle  performed 
his  duty  by  giving  the  nephew  the  benefit  of  his 
experience,  and  that  the  nephew  listened  with 
all  the  respectful  impatience  common  to  youth 
when   enjoying   the  privilege  of  "  a   lecture," 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  315 

advice,  "  a  jobation,"  or  whatever  other  name 
they  choose  to  call  the  invaluable  counsel  of 
their  elders. 

Sir  William  finished  by  observing,  "  And 
now  Sir,  having  fully  expressed  my  feelings,  pre- 
judices, fancies,  or  follies,  be  they  what  they  may, 
on  this  subject,  I  mean  not  again  to  refer  to  it 
more  than  may  be  necessary.  You  have,  I  per- 
ceive, been  reading  the  newspapers,  and  doubt- 
less have  seen  the  account  of  your  Bow  Street 
adventure  and  the  luminous  expositions  at- 
tached to  it  ?'' 

Bernard  replied  in  the  affirmative,  and  point- 
ed out  the  additional  paragraph  of  the  morning, 
which  Sir  William  perused,  and  then  gravely 
putting  up  his  spectacles,  continued, 

"  '  Save  me  from  my  friends,  and  I  will  pro- 
tect myself  against  my  enemies  !'  is  an  old  say- 
ing, and  like  most  of  its  standing,  founded  on  a 
close  observation  of  the  follies  of  mankind.  The 
meddling  finger  of  some  half-informed,  offici- 
ous, would-be  friend  is  visible  here.  But  you 
may  leave  these  things  to  me.  I  will  set  them 
to  rights.     All  that  you  have  to  recollect  is, 

p  2 


316  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

that  the  Storers  must  have  read  them  ;  and, 
when  I  am  asked  for  an  explanation,  it  shall  be 
given  in  the  words  of  plain,  simple  truth.  I 
should  certainly  have  preferred  their  knowing 
nothing  of  such  a  ridiculous  affair;  but  my 
friend  the  merchant  is  no  fool,  and,  when  the 
matter  is  properly  explained,  I  have  no  doubt 
that  it  will  afford  him  some  amusement.  For 
the  other  mode  of  accounting  for  certain  appear- 
ances —  why  —  pshaw  !  —  I  have  nothing  more 
to  say  about  it  —  that  is  your  concern.  If  I 
should  not  see  you  again  during  the  day,  I 
hope  you  will  enjoy  yourself.  I  shall  be  much 
engaged  the  whole  of  the  morning,  and  mean  to 
dine  at  Sir  Marmaduke's — therefore  I  shall  re- 
turn here  to  dress  at  a  quarter  before  six  —  but 
I  suppose  you  will  dine  in  Russell  Square." 

In  all  that  the  good  old  knight  said  and  did 
that  morning  there  was  an  air  of  cold,  offended 
dignity.  Not  once  did  he  use  the  wonted  term 
"  Bernard,"  when  addressing  his  nephew.  It 
was  always  "  Sir."  And  when  he  perceived  that 
the  youth  was  mortified  and  hurt,  he  still  re- 
pressed the  struggles  of  natural  affection  within, 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  317 

and  persevered,  with  the  idea  of  making  a  salu- 
tary impression  upon  a  mind  which,  he  flattered 
himself,  and  was  determined  to  hope,  had  taken 
but  a  single  step  in  the  paths  of  deceit. 

His  first  call,  after  their  separation,  was  at 
the  office  of  the  evening  paper,  where,  with  some 
difficulty,  he  obtained  an  interview  with  one  of 
the  co-proprietors,  or  co-editors,  or  co-incident- 
makers.  It  was  sufficient,  however,  for  Sir  Wil- 
liam to  perceive  that  the  individual  into  whose 
presence  he  was  formally  ushered,  was  evidently 
a  person  having  authority  in  the  gloomy,  sub- 
divided tenement,  in  which  he  occupied  a  subdi- 
vision, sitting  in  a  library  chair,  before  a  table 
covered  with  papers,  issuing  his  slips  and  man- 
dates, and  speaking  in  a  manner  befitting  one  of 
the  great  plural  units  of  the  day.  The  knight 
had  never  read  a  single  page  of  Lavater,  Gall, 
or  Spurzheim  ;  but  experience  had  taught  him 
to  read  somewhat  of  the  characters  of  men,  by 
a  freemason-like  intuitive  glance,  not  to  be  ac- 
quired from  books.  Therefore  did  he  perceive 
in  the  large  face,  uplifted  brow,  and  "  whatV 
your-business-sort  of  stare  of  the  person  before 


318  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

him,  most  clearly  written  the  word  "  Pomposo,'' 
upon  which,  like  a  skilful  general  at  an  unex- 
pected movement  of  the  enemy,  his  plan  was 
instantly  changed.  Instead  of  complaining  as 
he  had  intended,  he  now  treated  the  mighty 
"  we"  personage  with  all  possible  deference, 
and  spake  of  the  paragraph  as  one  of  those 
trivial  errors  utterly  unavoidable  amid  a  mul- 
tiplicity of  business.  All  this  had  its  due  effect 
in  producing  a  relaxation  in  the  features  of  the 
occupier  of  the  closet-like  subdivision,  who  felt 
gratified  at  being  treated  with  an  air  of  equa- 
lity by  a  gentleman  of  Sir  William's  rank  and 
wealth. 

"  I  am  happy.  Sir  William,"  said  he,  "  to 
find  that  you  judge  of  us  correctly.  It  is  im- 
possible for  us,  with  the  number  of  persons 
whom  we  employ,  to  avoid  being  led  occasion- 
ally into  errors.  And  yet  it  is  strange  in  the 
present  instance,  for  we  pride  ourselves  in  the 
accuracy  of  our  police  reports.  However, 
only  point  out  to  me  where  we  are  wrong,  and 
it  shall  be  rectified.  Of  course,  you  will  not 
object  to  our  quoting  you  as  our  authority." 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  319 

**  As  for  that,  my  good  sir,"  said  Sir  William, 
forcing  a  laugh,  "  I  think  when  I  have  told  you 
the  particulars  of  the  case,  you  will  agree  with 
me  that  nothing  of  the  kind  can  be  necessary."" 
He  then  related  who  the  supposed  delinquent 
really  was,  how  he  had  got  into  his  ridiculous 
difficulty  in  consequence  of  taking  too  much 
wine,  and  that  the  name  of  Burrows  was  one 
assumed  for  the  purpose  of  keeping  his  own  out 
of  the  newspapers. 

"It  really  is  a  very  nonsensical  affair,"'''  ob- 
served the  man  in  office,  *'  and  we  should  be 
content  to  drop  it ;  but  a  morning  paper  has 
taken  it  up — and — upon  my  word,  I  do  not  see 
how  we  can  submit  to  such  scurrilous  language 
as  they  have  used  without  making  some  re- 
joinder, particularly  as  they  have  given  an  ac- 
count of  the  affair  which  it  seems  is  purely 
imaginary.  What  can  the  fellows  mean,  Sir 
William,  by  the  *  respectable  countryman,"*  your 
tenant  ?"'"' 

"  I  am  quite  as  much  at  a  loss  as  yourself  on 
that  head,"  replied  the  knight.  "  I  certainly 
have  a  tenant   of  that  name  in  Northampton- 


320  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

sliire,  and  it  was  the  recollection  of  him  at  the 
moment,  which  induced  my  nephew  to  borrow 
it ;  but  I  have  no  knowledge  of  his  being  in 
town,  nor  do  I  think  it  likely,  as  he  is  neither 
more  nor  less  than  our  village  butcher." 

This  information  evidently  gave  great  delight 
to  the  regulator  of  the  moveable  types,  who  dis- 
cerned in  it  an  opportunity  of  ridiculing  his 
opponent. 

"  There  is  one  part  of  your  article,  sir,'"  re- 
sumed Sir  William,  "  on  which  we  have  not 
yet  spoken,  and  which  after  all  is,  perhaps,  the 
most  important,  as  it  touches  upon  a  public 
question." 

"  I  know  what  you  allude  to.  Sir  William," 
observed  the  co-concocter  of  intelligence,  with  a 
slow,  mysterious  bending  of  the  head  ;  "  but  I 
am  afraid  it  will  be  useless  for  us  to  speak  on 
that  subject.  Indeed,  Sir  William,  to  be  can- 
did with  you,  that  is  not  my  department.  We 
are  very  strong  on  that  point,  and  if  the  line  of 
my  duty  permitted  me  to  mention  names,  you 
would  be  surprised." 

"  I  have  no  wish  to  pry  into  secrets,"  said 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  321 

the  knight,  "  but  self-justification  requires  nie 
to  state  that  to  you,  which  I  am  confident,  from 
the  urbanity  I  have  hitherto  met  with  from  you, 
you  will  not  hesitate  to  represent  in  the  proper 
quarter.  The  remark  in  question  evidently 
alludes  to  Sir  Marmaduke  Bonus's  borough  of 
Trevotain,  and  I  certainly  have  reason  to  flatter 
myself  that  he  would  not  be  inattentive  to  my 
recommendation  in  case  of  a  vacancy  ;  but  I 
give  you  my  word  of  honour  as  a  gentleman, 
that  if  the  nomination  were  placed  in  my  hands 
this  moment,  I  would  not  accept  of  it,  either 
for  my  nephew  or  myself.  I  am  too  old  to 
commence  a  parliamentary  career,  and  he  is  too 
young,  and  his  character  not  sufficiently  settled. 
You  and  I  may  possibly  differ  in  opinion  upon 
some  political  questions,  but  nothing  would 
induce  me  to  render  the  smallest  assistance  to- 
wards procuring  a  seat  in  the  house  for  any  in- 
dividual, even  were  he  my  own  son,  unless  I 
was  perfectly  convinced  of  his  fitness  in  every 
respect  to  perform  the  duties  of  a  legislator.  In 
the  canvassing  for  votes  among  the  proprietors 
of  East  India  Stock,  I  shall  most  assuredly  do 


322  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN, 

all  I  can  for  Sir  Marmaduke  Bonus,  not  merely 
because  he  is  my  friend,  but  because  I  have 
known  him,  and  observed  his  conduct  for  many 
years,  both  in  the  east  and  in  this  country,  and 
am  firmly  convinced  that  his  knowledge  and 
talents  are  precisely  such  as  are  necessary  at  the 
present  moment.  But  that  there  may  be  no 
mistake  relative  to  7ny  motives,  I  shall  call 
upon  him  this  morning,  and  decline  beforehand 
any  sort  of  interest  such  as  is  alluded  to,  and 
which  probably  enough  he  may  have  contem- 
plated to  offer  me." 

The  journalizer  paid  his  visiter  certain  com- 
pliments on  the  liberality  and  disinterestedness 
of  his  opinions  and  conduct ;  and  then  Sir  Wil- 
liam took  leave,  and  repaired  to  the  office  of  his 
officious  and  self-elected  champion. 

Vexed  as  the  editor  was  at  having  been  mis- 
led, when  he  fancied  his  intelligence  came  from 
the  fountain-head,  he  scrupled  not  immediately 
to  give  the  name  and  address  of  his  informant, 
"  The  Reverend  P.  P.  Kenemall,  Green  Dragon 
Inn,  Bishopsgate  Street ;"  and  to  that  unfashion- 
able quarter  of  the  town,  the  knight  ordered 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  323 

himself  to  be  driven,  after  having  repeated  to 
the  gentlemen  of  the  morning  press  what  he 
had  already  said  to  his  *'  contemporary ""'  of  the 
evening  chronicles. 

It  was  a  painful  sacrifice  which  the  old  gen- 
tleman felt  himself  called  upon  to  make  of  Ber- 
nard's anticipated  seat  in  parliament ;  but  it 
was  the  result  of  cool  deliberation  during  the 
preceding  night,  and  he  came  to  the  decision, 
partly  because  the  paragraphs  alluded  to  must 
have  the  effect  of  drawing  public  attention  to- 
wards all  the  parties  concerned,  but  principally 
in  consequence  of  the  conviction  that  his  ne- 
phew's character  was  not  sufficiently  settled  to 
render  it  prudent  that  he  should  be  placed  in  a 
situation  where  his  integrity  would  probably  be 
put  to  the  severest  test. 

The  conversation  which  he  had  that  morning 
with  the  rector  convinced  him  in  the  most  disa- 
greeable manner  of  the  propriety  of  his  conduct, 
for  then  he  first  became  acquainted  with  the 
circumstance  of  our  hero's  having  bribed  George 
Burrows  to  put  his  name  to  a  paper  which  he 
knew  to  be  a  lie. 


o24f  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

Mr.  Storer,  it  seemed,  having  made  up  his 
own  mind  to  overlook  the  fault  for  the  sake  of 
the  motive,  kindly  avoided  mentioning  that 
affair  to  Sir  William,  because  he  knew  it  would 
give  him  pain,  and  might  produce  a  coolness 
between  him  and  his  nephew.  Mr.  Kenemall, 
however,  saw  the  affair  in  a  very  different  light, 
and  spoke  of  the  transaction  as  a  proof  of  the 
young  squire''s  goodness  of  heart ;  and,  having 
once  entered  upon  the  subject  of  parish  news, 
proceeded  to  state  the  provision  made  by  Ber- 
nard for  the  five  orphan  grandchildren  of  poor 
old  Martha. 

All  this  was  extremely  perplexing  and  annoy- 
ing to  Sir  William,  who,  although  inclined  to 
be  charitable,  could  not  approve  of  this  sort  of 
wholesale  adoption  of  an  entire  family,  when 
there  were  public  institutions  into  which  the 
children  might  have  been  received,  by  proper 
application  and  exertion,  and  where  their  mo- 
rals and  education  would  have  been  properly 
attended  to.  But  the  most  painful  part  of  his 
reflection  was,  that  Bernard  had  never  men- 
tioned the  subject  to  him,  and  therefore  it  was 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  325 

too  evident  that  the  entire  confidence  which  had 
hitherto  existed  between  them  was  at  an  end. 
The  more  he  thought,  the  more  he  felt  hurt 
and  embarrassed,  and  at  length  the  worthy 
knight  arrived  at  the  same  conclusion  as  that 
adopted  by  the  young  ladies,  namely,  that  a 
great  alteration  had  latterly  taken  place  in  our 
hero,  and  that  there  must  be  some  cause  for  it. 
And  what  that  cause  was,  he  likewise  deter- 
mined to  find  out. 

After  leaving  the  rector,  his  next  interview 
was  with  Mr.  Storer  at  his  private  counting- 
house  in  the  city.  The  obnoxious  paragraphs 
were,  of  course,  first  disposed  of,  and  the  mer- 
chant, though  sadly  mortified  at  the  idea  of  let- 
ting a  seat  in  parliament  slip  through  their 
fingers,  agreed  in  the  propriety  of  all  that  Sir 
William  had  done. 

"  So  best,  so  best,"'"'  said  he.  "  Folks  all  on 
the  gape  now  —  some  other  time,  when  all 's 
quiet.  Bow  Street  business — very  stupid  not 
to  look  into  coach  first.  No  row  though  —  no 
great  harm  —  but  don't  like  that  denying  it  — 
bad   that  —  shouldn't  have  expected  that  after 


326  THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN. 

what  you  told  me  —  hate  a  liar.  Don't  do  so 
often,  hope  —  once  too  often  though  —  done  so 
at  first,  cut  the  connexion  —  too  late  now,  I  'm 
afraid  —  poor  Ally!  Keep  an  eye  on  him, 
however —  look  sharp  now  —  saw  there  was 
something  last  night.  Very  odd  !  —  not  as 
he  used  to  be  —  can't  think  what 's  come  to  him 
—  find  it  out  though." 

"  My  dear  friend,''  said  Sir  William,  "  I  am 
as  much  perplexed  as  yourself.  Never,  till  last 
night,  have  I  known  him  to  be  guilty  of  any- 
thing like  falsehood  or  prevarication.  There 
must  not,  however,  be  any  secrets  between  us, 
and  I  have  now  something  to  tell  you  respect- 
ing him,  which  I  have  just  learnt,  and  which,  I 
dare  say,  you  will  be  as  much  surprised  as 
myself  to  hear."  He  then  related  the  substance 
of  the  rector's  communication. 

"  Five  children  !"  exclaimed  Mr.  Storer. 
"  Mad,  Sir  !  —  boy  's  mad  !  Playing  ducks  and 
drakes  with  money  !  Can't  be  his  own  ?  —  not 
old  enough  for  that  yet.  Never  heard  of  Asy- 
lum —  Philanthropic  —  Blue-coat  School,  eh  ? 
Care  of  the  rascally  butcher  too,  that  killed  the 


THE    INVISIBLE    GENTLEMAN.  327 

poor  woman  !  —  worse  than  all  —  knows  he''s  a 
rascal — told  him  so  myself — never  consent  to 
the  marriage  till  the  scoundrel 's  off  the  estate — 
don't  know  whether  shall  then  —  see  about  it  — 
have  all  explained.  Sorry  for  you,  Sir  Wil- 
liam —  respect  you  —  can't  help  it.  Dine  with 
me  to-day  ? — in  a  family  way — have  nobody  else. 
Suppose  he  '11  come  —  talk  all  over  after  din- 
ner —  make  all  clear  —  no  secrets  now  —  hate 
'em  pretty  near  as  much  as  lies." 

The  knight's  previous  engagement  with  Sir 
Marmaduke  prevented  him  from  accepting  this 
invitation  ;  but  the  merchant  said  the  young 
gentleman  should  not  escape  on  that  account, 
for  he  would  talk  to  him  himself. 

Thus,  in  consequence  of  the  gratification  of 
his  ridiculous  wish,  our  hero  was  already  in  dis- 
grace, or  had  become  an  object  of  suspicion 
to  all  his  friends. 

END    OF    THE    FIRST    VOLUME. 


LONDON  : 
PRINTFD  BY  SAMUEL  BENTLEY, 

Dorset  Street,  Fleet  Street. 


\-\\ 


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U.l 


UNIVERSrTY  OF  ILLINOIS-URBANA 


3  0112  069044532 


at^rr^ 


